April 1993
Rosie's POV
"Damn it!!" The dressing room door slams shut and in walks, Jon, looking really annoyed. I have no idea what could be wrong but I'm sure I'm about to find out. He paces the room, his hands stressing the skin of his neck while he sighs and huffs through the awkward silence. Richie, Dave, Tico, Alex and I all exchange a look as if we're all silently asking each other who is going to ask the question. Richie points at me but I quickly shake my head at him and resume my reading. There's no way I'm getting involved in the band's issues. Of course, I'll help if they ask for it otherwise I'll stay out of it.
A minute or two passes until Richie nervously clears his throat "What's wrong Jon?". "It's nothin Rich... I'll fix it" Richie stares at Dave, hoping he'll add a word or two but he remains silent just like me "Well what is it? maybe we can help". He suddenly stops pacing and twists his face with unsurety "The band who were supposed to be opening for us called... they can't make it... the lead singer is sick". "So... we have no opening band?" Jon nods morbidly and continues his pacing around the room. Richie slumps back in his chair, his face turning solemn "Man I like those guys too... cool band". "That Extreme?" Richie nods in response to Daves question and they both share the same sadenned look. Extreme is a rock band that started in 1985 and theyve been Jons support act for the first leg of this tour and its the first time they cant make it to a show. Jon continues to pace, desperately thinking of a last minute solution. He always takes all of the responsibility on his shoulders but he wouldn't change that for anything.
As if lightening strikes, he spins round and gives me a strange look and I somehow know exactly what he's thinking. Before he has a chance to open his mouth, I snap my book closed and jump to my feet "No Jon... absolutely not!!". "Come on baby... you know I wouldn't ask" He knows I can't resist those bright eyes so I spin round and face away from him "Good so don't!". If only to make it much worse for me, he slides his hands round my waist and nuzzles into the crook of my neck "Come on baby... what are you so afraid of? that they'll actually like it?". He has a point but It would be so weird, being the opening act to my husbands band, wouldn't it? I mean it would look so odd and I'm sure the papers will have a field day "What will people think? I don't wanna be like Paul and Linda... I love them but I can't be like that". "I'm not asking you to join the band babe... It's not for me, It's for the kids.... please" He just had to go and say that didn't he? how could I refuse that? "Fine... but I need T and Lemma". He sighs begrudgingly but gives into my demands "Done".
"Oh god I'm so nervous.... how are you not nervous Lemma?" He chuckles at my rosy cheeks and sweaty palms "I was a little nervous for the Moscow peace festival but that was the only time". Our conversation is cut short when we're called onto the stage. Lemma and T make their way on, taking no note of the deafening screams. "It's for the kids..... It's for the kids.... I can do this.... your a rock star.... I can do this shit!!" I'm talking some sense into myself as I strut out towards the mic. The golden rays bounce off my leather outfit, lighting me up like a Christmas tree. The screams grow louder but it's not for me, It's for Dave and Tico. They must think Bon Jovi is coming on stage early, they'll be so disappointed when they realise its me singing.
"Hey Hey mama said the way you move... gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove" The whole building goes silent as I scream out the opening lyrics to Led Zeppelin. I want to open with an explosion of a rock song. As soon as I rip into my guitar, the screams Start up again. They seem to be liking it and it's adding to my confidence. Adrenaline hitches a ride in my veins, buzzing and crackling through every nerve in my body. Every part of me is coming alive, reacting to the roaring crowd below. I've never played infront of this many people before, I just play for fun, It's not something I've wanted to do as a career which is why I opened my little music store.
As I come to the end of the song, I transition into I hate myself for loving you by Joan Jett. Another rock song to get them pumped up for Jon. It's pretty hard to play guitar like this and sing at the same time, you have to be a pretty proficient player to do this.
"Now I want you to join in with me.... sing after me...... I hate myself for loving you" The whole audience sing in unison and its the best feeling in the world. The adrenaline is on a wild ride and it's not coming down.
"Can't break free from the things that you do!!" They sing back the same lyrics and join in with a wave of claps. In this moment I can understand what the likes of Queen felt when the audience joined in. There's a deep connection with the music and it's special. I never fully grasped just how much this means to Jon. I guess it was a good idea to do this, It's given me a new found respect for what my husband does for a living, not that I didn't before, but it's definitely grown.
. . .
"Mama......mama..........mama" Charlie tugs on my arm, practically dangling off it for dear life to catch my attention, little does she know I'm always paying attention "Yeah honey?". "Where daddy?" I pluck her up and rest her on my hip, pointing right at the stage where Jon and the band are "Right there..... Can you see daddy.... can you hear him singing?". "Yeah.... I want.... cuddle from daddy" My insides are screaming with how cute she is. She really is the double of him with her beautiful blonde hair and bright blue eyes but she's also a little daredevil and will do anything she wants regardless of what you say to her "No daddy's singing... you have to wait until he's finished okay?". Her temper quickly changes and she starts squirming in my arms and whining in my ear "No.... No No". She's squirming so much that I end up placing her back down on the ground. She takes the first opportunity and sprints onto the stage. I attempt to run after her but she's already on the stage, in front of all those fans. She suddenly stops and hovers awkwardly when she realizes she's in front of so many people. Jon is currently in the middle of bad medicine and is too engrossed with it to notice her. The roaring screams rage through the building, blocking out any other sound. He spins round on the spot and stops dead when he sees her standing there like a lost little lamb. Jon is gonna be pissed at me for letting her run on stage. He holds out his arms and she runs towards him, her little legs moving as fast as they can. He leans forward and hoists her up into his arms and the crowd goes insane, squealing at the tops of their lungs. Thankfully her tiny headphones didn't fall off her head, don't want her being that close to the speakers with no protection. He walks off to the mic with her in his arms "You wanna help daddy sing?". She bobs her head and he smiles like a Cheshire cat at her answer "ONE MORE TIME DAVEY!!!! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!!!!!!".
"BAD MADICINE IS WHAT I NEED!!!"
"WAIT A MINUTE!!"
"YOU KNOW YOU MAKE ME WANNA........ SHOUT!!!"
When it gets to Richie's guitar solo, he escapes the stage with Charlie. He looks so hyped up and she is practically bouncing off the walls, It's going to take ages to get her to calm down after that "You go back to your mama... alright". He hands her straight back to me and scarpers off down the hall and into the dressing room. He likes to refresh himself before going back on stage for the last few songs.
I'm so happy the band is back on the road and Jon is finally in a good place with himself. Everyone looks and sounds refreshed after their time apart. I loved hearing about their new projects they started, Richie with his solo music, Tico with his art, Alec with his travelling and playing on Richie's albums and Dave getting married and writing his own music. Even my store has blossomed into a blooming business and Jon agreed to have his name associated with it. He was quite hesitant at first, he wanted to wait until it had success before including himself. It worked out way more successful than my little store I had.
"HEYY ROSIE!!" My focus is disrupted by a man's voice shouting from down the hall. My neck cranes in the direction of the noise. I instantly recognise the group of young men walking down to be Extreme. They're very late but they've managed to show up "Hey... thought you weren't coming? You're supposed to be sick?". "Yeah I feel like shit but figured Id come anyway" I almost swallow my tongue, how does he expect to perform, Jon is nearly finished the show "But Jon's already on...??". They hover around awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to do with themselves "tell you what... Jon's coming off for a short break so I'll ask him".
The time has come and Jon is finally running off the stage. He looks like he's on top of the world, still riding the buzz from the show. The stage assistant wraps a towel round his neck and passes him a drink. They're covered in sweat and they still have some time to go. "Jon... the guys turned up... I told them I'd let you know" He scoffs and shakes his head, showing a mix of emotions "It's too late babe... We're nearly finished". "Oh I know honey but they did come even though he doesn't feel great" I can see the coggs turning in his mind, he doesn't want to turn them away, I can see it "what should I do?". It's as if the idea hits me square in the face, it's obvious "Let them close the show with you?". "But we haven't rehearsed anything? I cant just change the show at the last second" My arms fold in front of me and my brow cocks at him "Now I know you've improvised before Jon... stop being a manager for one minute and go take those guys out on stage with you... okay?". "You're right... god I love you... where would I be without you?" He smooches me on the lips before scampering off to the dressing room. I don't always have to give him reality checks but there have been moments.
I'm currently waiting for the guys to head back to the stage when a tiny squeal fills the silence. Panic sets in when I realise there's only one child backstage and that's MY child "Has anyone seen Charlie???". All the crew and assistants shake their heads at my question, leaving me with more questions than answers. I left her with Jon's brother, Tony, in the only person's hands I could trust and something has happened to her. I sprint off down the hall and peer into the dressing room but don't see her there "Have you seen Charlie?". Jon's head ehips round at the mentipn of her name and he looks concerned "No, she's not here, why?". "I heard a scream... I'm worried she's hurt herself" They all stop what their doing and follow me out the room. As soon as we start heading down the hall, Tony emerges from a door looking panicked "Rosie... Jon come quick!!". "What is it?? Where's Charlie?" He guides us down the hall, towards the door he came out of "we were playing hide and seek because she was bored and she was hiding in the stairway and I snuck up on her and she screamed, jumped back and fell down the stairs". My worse nightmare is coming true. The one thing you naturally want to do as a parent is to protect your child and I've already failed. Jon is going to think I'm such a sad excuse for a mother after this.
My heart stops dead in my chest and is replaced by an empty void of emotions. Tears prick up in my eyes and I can hardly hold them back. Her tiny body is sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs "CHARLIE!!!!!". With my arms out stretched, I sprint down the stairs with a determination I've never felt before, in my entire life. I need to get to her but it feels like everything is going by in slow motion. I'm ahead of the others because nothing is scarier or more powerful than a mother or a father who fights for their child. Jon is right at my side, looking just as concerned as me. Just to think not 20 minutes ago, our only worry was how the show was going to end and now It's our daughter. . .