The next morning had arrived, the warm rays of the sun illuminating yesterday's night through the whole room. It felt warm and nice on his eyes but the small sting of it urged Tomo to soon awaken from his slumber.
With yawning gesture he gazed around in curiousity, inspecting his surroundings when he found himself waking up in another room beside his own.
A groan was forced out of his lips though, when the ache inside his head started to become stronger - the aftereffect that concluded after too much alcohol consume. The blonde was surprised that he had only gotten away with such a.. minor headache though, when it could've ended a lot worse for him.
Nevertheless, another thing that bothered his senses the moment he woke up were his memories of last nights events. Ashamed and dissapointed of his drunken self, he groans once again with a hand covering his sight. Although there were only fractions of it occupying his mind, the fact that Tomo had splurted out something he didn't plan on confessing was almost as devastating as his hangover; the headache only adding up to another.
He wondered what had gone through his mind during that time - but what concerned him even more was what Kazuha even thinks of this.
He recalls to have seen tears in his eyes, to have caressed his face in order to wipe them away. The blonde remembers the moment he pulled him into his embrace, hugging him in a way he was familiar with by heart, to comfort the other.
It really has been too long.
Even though he had planned to wait patiently for the other to remember their past life again to start a new one in this timeline - last night's "accident" was too oblivious to ignore now.
Thus, the thoughts that followed after did not make it any better for him; once taken notice of a certain weight resting on his torso, his eyes then wander down to further inspect it..
His body stiffens at the sight, muscles suddenly tensing up while his pupils decrease drastically.
The blonde thought of the options he had in his current situation, however, to move meant in awakening the peacefully resting boy in his arms, which is why he quickly solves his inner conflict by not doing so. Instead, he even sneaks his hand up to his torso to rest on and with a sigh, Tomo sinks back into the pillow, his hand caressing the figure of the other.
It didn't take Kazuha long to awaken from that action though as he was not a heavy sleeper, unlike Tomo. His eyelashes slowly flutter open, twitching from perceiving a foreign surface beneath him - that was not his mattress.
However, when the realization hit him, he snaps his eyes open and sits up, adrenaline coursing through his veins.
And there it was, the rising fear that made his breath hitch as the goosebumps crawl up his skin. The words left his throat, leaving the boy so helpless on his own. He only found himself staring at the other in shock, glancing down to every possible detail he could find on him before his eyes halt at his pair of orbs that resembled the thunder he was oh- so scared of seeing.
But looking at them now, Kazuha definitely felt more at peace.
After slowly calming down with a sharp in- and exhale, his lips part to finally speak up. "Sorry for last night.", were the only words he could get out of himself though.
Tomo shakes his head as a response and apologized back with a small, shy smile, indicating him that he was sorry for being such a bother for him instead.
But the albino didn't mind and felt rather..... relieved that he opened up to him.
"R.. really....?"
The blonde was indeed taken back by surprise with that reaction, since he didn't expect the other to just.... simply accept everything, despite not remembering their time in the past.
It was indeed saddening for Tomo how his past companion will probably never remember him, their moments, their lifes - from Inazuma.
And the words that had accidentally slipped out of his tongue the night before he fearlessly stormed to Tenshukaku, at which he lost his life and the chance to settle down with his possible lover on the east coasts of Liyue. Living together in peace and far away from the thunder that put their lifes at risk.
How nice it would've been to spend his life that way.
It really was a pity how that scenario had slipped right through his fingers when he was just about to get incinerated by the Musou no Hitotachi.
Yet he didn't regret his decisions.
He told himself, 'even if the thunder slashed him, turned him into ashes, it was for the sake of Inazuma - for Kazuha' the one he loved so much.
Although... maybe if he was more of a coward,
maybe if he told Kazuha about his plans first, they could've escaped together from the Vision Hunt, if he prevented him from performing such a silly, risky act. Maybe words like "You don't need to be the hero" would've discouraged him more.
Only a hint of fear would've stopped him.
From abandoning his life and leaving Kazuha behind, with no words of goodbye.
He always wondered if the other was able to live his life to the fullest, if he was able to find his love of life and start a family, even though he himself had wished to be the one standing beside him as a lover.
Deep inside of his heart, he wished that he was more greedy for himself.
But instead of desiring his own happiness, he wanted Kazuha to smile in a world he didn't need to fear running away - he wanted to protect him, even if it had to cost everything of him - he would gladly hand it over.
And that feeling remained even in a reincarnated body.
_
The morning after that remained rather.... awkward.
Both didn't say much to each other, despite having thousands of questions in their mind, longing for answers - an untold story.
But perhaps, it was not needed for that anymore as they were now reincarnated in another timeline.
The Vision Hunt no longer put them at risk and gave them the chance to live their life to the fullest.
It really was a relief - especially for Tomo.
To be able to now start a new life with the one he desired his attention, his touch and love for.
As dissapointing as that may sound, he always believed in such things as fate.
And the red string that bound them together - even in afterlife, could not been cut; not even by a god.
Besides, making Kazuha remember such traumatising events had not been to his liking.
Yet if the other ever came to dig up those old memories, he would not hesitate to lend an ear (and some arms to comfort him).
Perhaps, he did like him a little more than he should- maybe loved him a bit more than he thought.
But he was rather humble about his feelings, the risk of losing of their current relationship with something - people call a confession nowadays - was too high. The blonde was drowning in fear for it.
"Tomo?" and the person whose voice belonged to had been the sole reason for his distress.
The man blinked, returning his gaze to Kazuha who had been sitting across the table with a questioning, yet slightly concerned look on his face, continuing when he had brought his attention back, "Are you not going to eat?"
Tomo's eyes then wander down to the cold toast he left there to rot for what felt like an eternity to him before he glances up to the albino again. His lips parted to speak up. "Ah sorry- I'm kinda not hungry.."
"Oh.." Just from the way Kazuha was fidgeting with his fingers, anyone could tell that he was visibly nervous. Tomo watched his eyes lower to them, frowning when he perceived a hint of what looked like dejection to him.
It really was a sight he disliked.
To break the silence that was starting to build up between them, he rasped his throat to bring Kazuha's attention upon himself.
"About last night...", but the words seem to have died out in his throat.
However, as if he had piqued the interest of the other, he saw eyes immediately shooting up in anticipation, waiting for him to continue. The blonde only swallows lightly and thinks of a way on how he could put his thoughts into words.
"I was drunk-", as he talked, every change upon his facial expressions was put into careful observation; there wasn't a time where his gaze wandered away from Kazuha for even a single second. A brief displeasure was written in his eyes.
But Tomo continues, "..but I remember what I said yesterday. I don't want you to force yourself into anything and I don't expect you to but"
he hesitates, for a few seconds - minutes he wished.
"If you could do so, can you let- what I said and did yesterday, slide....?" There was disbelief, there was dissapointment but Tomo could not quite grasp what Kazuha really felt at the moment.
"Everything?" The word stung. But as much as it did, he forced a nod.
"Everything.", he repeated for him - but in a more quiet tone. He felt his dissapointed gaze drill through him; it made his skin crawl.
"Are you serious?"
Everytime Kazuha talked he became gradually stiffer. And everytime he would ask him something, Tomo would either reply with a weak nod or shake his head.
"Is this- Am I a joke to you..?"
He bites down to his underlip, grip tightening on his hands beneath the table. "Look at me, Tomo." - but the man in question refused to do so.
...
When he saw no hope in this conversation, Kazuha sighed out in defeat. "I'm.... speechless. I thought we were trying to be honest to each other yesterday" a continued murmur, "but it seems like I was making a fool out of myself.."
The dissapointment that dwelt in Kazuha's voice. The damn dissapointment.
However, when he was about to speak up to apologize, he was interrupted by an additional statement instead, "... I'll go back to bed...... Make yourself feel at home."
And with that, he stood up and moved towards the door, leaving Tomo in the kitchen by himself.
The other simply watched him do so, unable to fight back the heavy feeling of guilt that rose up in his chest.