(Y/N)s chest heaved with anticipation as she allowed Natasha to tug her down the hallway towards the elevator and up to her room.
She couldn't believe she was doing this, she couldn't believe she'd told the Russian how she'd felt! It felt as if a weight had been lifted off her chest at the confession.
She'd been in the Avengers for 2 years and had managed to keep her sexuality a secret. In all honesty she was terrified what would happen when they found out so she thought it was safest to like guys. She followed a set of rules she'd made for herself when she was 16 and stuck with them.
Here were the rules:
1. Be polite and always smile when a man is talking to you
2. If a man asks you on a date, you must say yes
3. Go on 3 dates with said man before turning him down, in case you finally liked one of them
4. Don't look at attractive women for more than 5 seconds
5. Never be alone with an attractive woman!
6. If your thoughts ever wondered, punishment may be implemented
Now you may be wondering, 'what's up with the rules?' And I'll tell you what's up. When (Y/N) tried to talk to her friend about liking girls they had the complete opposite reaction of what she hoped for which only ended in her getting bullied and beat up for the next three months.
Three months of absolute torture and hell until she came up with the rules. Rules which kept her safe as she went grovelling back to her 'friends' and told them it was a joke.
Since then she refused to even entertain the idea of ever liking another girl and forced herself to date men that not only was she not attracted to, but just about repulsed by.
Natasha closing the door behind them startled her from her thoughts and caused the girl to jump, Nat releasing her hand in shock as she watched the nervous girl pull her arms into her chest.
"Are you alright, dorogoy?" Natasha asked, tilting her head slightly as she talked to her in her calming voice.
(Y/N)'s eyes scanned Natashas room, she'd never seen it before, it was nice. She thought it would be dark like her normal attire but instead it was light. A plant sat on her dresser with a piece of paper and how to keep it alive next to it, no doubt from Yelena. A pile of books in the corner of her room next to her bedside which held a photo of her and Yelena as kids. And finally her bed, with a white, soft looking comforter with a few pillows piled onto it.
"I-I can't be here, I shouldn't have-, I need to go!" She announced in a panic. Her room was nice, too nice. It felt warm and comforting and smelt of apple and cinnamon. It felt like a warm hug, like home. She couldn't be here anymore and as her mind raced her eyes landed on the door behind Natasha, tears building in her (Y/E/C) eyes.
"I need to leave!" She told Nat, pushing past the startled Russian as she grabbed the door handle as she trying to push the door open, a broken sob leaving her mouth as it wouldn't.
"(Y/N)..." Nat whispered, pulling her gently away from the door and into her arms. At first, (Y/N) fought against her hold, shoving the assassins chest and struggling against her but as more sobs left her mouth and her shoves got weaker she let herself fall into Natashas arms.
Nats eyes watered at the girl in her arms but she kept her face stoic as she tightened her hold and comforted the girl, rubbing a hand up and down her back to help calm her. "What's wrong, Detka? What made my khoroshaya devochka so upset, hmm?" Nat asked softly against the side of her head.
"I-I'm not allowed. I broke the r-rules. I-I need punishm-ment..." (Y/N) hiccupped, resting her face in the crook of Nats neck as the Russian assassin frown in confusion, running her fingers through the girls (Y/H/C) locks.
"Not allowed what, Lyubov'? What rules are you talking about and why do you need punishment?" Natasha asked as she pulled the girl away from her neck to look at her face.
Tears began to spill from the girls eyes once again as she was removed from Nats neck to look up at her, her lip wobbling.
Pressing a long kiss to the upset girls forehead, Nat whispered against the skin, "please, Detka. I promise I won't get mad or upset with you..." Nat told her gently and soon (Y/N) hesitantly nodded her head and took a deep breath.
"I-I'm not allowed to like you, to like g-girls. It's against the rules I made. T-they're there to keep me s-safe." She explained.
"Safe from what, Detka?" Natasha pushed.
"F-from the others. It's wrong and people don't like it." (Y/N) explained further and Nats heart broke at her words. Who had hurt her to make her feel and think this way.
"Detka, do you like boys?" Nat asked and slowly (Y/N) shook her head as a tear escaped her eye. She hadn't told anyone that in a long time.
"And that's okay, Moy Lyubov'. It's okay to not like boys, boys are gross!" Nat comforted her, trying to make her smile.
A choked laugh left the (Y/H/C)s lips as Nats words, falling back into her neck and holding onto her tightly. "It is?" She asked quietly.
"It is, Lyubov , it is . Maria and I both like girls, Loki, Bucky, Tony like both, Steve likes men, Sam, Rhodey and Wanda are straight, Yelena doesn't really like anyone in that way. You can like or love whom ever you want to, Detka." Nat told her softly.
Upon hearing this a relieved sob/sigh left her lip and she hugged Natasha impossibly tighter, Natasha hugging her tighter in return.
After a small while, (Y/N) leaned back, pressing a kiss to Natashas cheek before resting her forehead against the assassins. "Thank you, Natalia." (Y/N) mumbled, Natasha smiling at the use of her real name before bumping her nose against the other girls. "That's alright, Detka."
"Come on, I think we both need some sleep, huh?" Nat teased, guiding her towards the bed before she moved herself over to her dresser to get changed.
Discarding her shirt and jeans, Nat slipped on a baggy shirt leaving on her bra and undies before moving towards the other side of the bed. She could feel (Y/N)s curious eyes on her as she slipped under the covers before finally opening her arms. "Come here, Moy Lyubov'." Nat told her, (Y/N) quickly scooting across the bed and into the read heads arms.
Once Nat wrapped her arms around her she left out a content sigh and laid there for a few minutes of peaceful silence before she started to shift again.
"What are you doing?" Nat mused as the girl shuffled again for the fifth time in two minutes.
Letting out a huff of annoyance, (Y/N) pulled away from Nats arms, taking off her own pants before laying on top of Natasha and shoving her face back into Nats neck getting comfortable again.
Nat let out an amused chuckle, holding the girl close with one hand on her back and another in her hair scratching her scalp soothingly.
They laid like this for a little over half an hour and Nat had thought the younger girl had finally fallen to sleep after all the crying she'd done but was surprised when she heard her speak up. "Nat?" She asked hesitantly.
"Yes, Dorogoy?" She replied, looking down at the girl on her chest.
"Can... Can we try something?" She asked, playing with the hem of Nats shirt nervously.
"Whatever you're comfortable with, Detka." Nat told her, moving her hand from her hair to join the other on the girls back.
Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) removed her face from Nats neck and looked down at Natasha. She looked at Nats face as the Russian sent her a reassuring smile which drew her focus to her lips.
Biting her own lip nervously, (Y/N)s hand tightened around the material of Natashas shirt, a slight frown in her brows.
Breaking her out of her trance, Natasha brought a hand up to pull the girls lip from her teeth and to smooth out her frown before they rested on her (Y/S/C) jaw. "It's okay, Detka," she told her again, (Y/N) nodding her head slightly before moving in to rest her forehead against Natashas cool skin.
Closing her eyes, (Y/N) slowly nudged her nose against Natashas before leaning in further, her lips grazing the gingers. Her heart was thundering in her chest and she was sure Natasha could hear it. She was nervous, she'd only been kissed a few times by the guys she'd gone out with but that was nothing compared to the feelings she was flooded with as her lips barely grazed the assassins.
She wanted to kiss her so bad but what if Nat didn't? Nat hadn't said anything about actually liking her what if she didn't want this? Had she read it wrong? Did Natasha just want to smash and pass? "Nat-" (Y/N) was cut off before she could even ask the question, Natasha tilting her head up and connecting their lips in a soft kiss which left both girls heads spinning.
The kiss built into a series of little ones before the two pulled away and (Y/N) opened her eyes to see the woman below her giving her a soft smile which only made her grow a smile of her own before a small laugh slipped back her lips as she nuzzled her face back into the crook of the red heads neck.
"I like you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)..." Nat whispered, drawing patterns on the exposed skin of the girls back since her shirt had ridden up.
" I like you too, Natalia Romanov." (Y/N) replied, closing her eyes with a happy sigh.
Nat looked down at the girl in her arms before pressing a kiss to the top of her head, the two falling asleep in one another's arms shortly after.
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