Requested by gracebean02
Title: Real Talk
Warning: mentions of sexual assault, (minor) curse word, and death
I threw open the car door and got out as quickly as I could, turning around to immediately slam it behind me, giving a certain finger to the guy leaning bent-over the middle console that was watching me, his breath heavy as I strode away. As quickly as I could, I wiped the tears off my face and pulled my shorts down, yanking my jacket tighter around my body as I continued on, not fighting the tears anymore.
"Yeah, leave! You're not even worth it! Thanks for not making me waste my entire night on you!" Hearing those words from behind me made my body falter for a moment and I almost turned around- if not just to throw the guy into the ocean. Instead, I took a deep, shaky breath and continued on, just a little faster this time.
As I walked down the dark street that led to my house, I began to sob openly, letting soft cries leave my lips. I tried my best to ignore the sounds of cat-calls around me, thankful for the people that loitered around the area, unintentionally keeping me safe. The thought made me sick to my stomach as I opened my apartment door and slammed it behind me, going towards the shower to scrub myself raw. That was the only way I'd feel any better and even then, I doubt it would help all that much.
One week later.
"Come on, (y/n). It obviously went bad. What happened?" I stared at the blank t.v.
"Yeah, we're not gonna hurt the guy or anything- we just wanna know why." I continued silently sitting in my curled-up position on the couch, half of my face buried in the neck of my hoodie as I played with my fingers, avoiding the turtle's gazes. Shifting, I pulled my sweats up and put my feet down on the ground so I could rest my elbows on my knees so I could better ignore the boys.
I wasn't doing it to be rude or anything- I loved them. I just wish they would stop asking me about the night that I'd rather forget. But I can't forget if they don't stop asking and they won't stop asking until I tell them which is never gonna happen.
"Alright- get up." I looked up as a new pair of legs entered my field of vision- Raph. He reached down and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me to my feet as I stumbled, body half asleep.
"Raph- Raph! What are you doing with her?" Leo demanded, following behind us as said brother began dragging me out of the lair by the pocket of my hoodie, me having to run to keep up with him as the rest of his brothers followed after us.
"(Y/n)'s not gonna open up sitting on a couch in the sewers. We'd be better off getting her some fresh air in an open space- so that's what we're doing. She's coming with us to patrol and clear her head, even if it's just for an hour." I grunted as Raph let go of me and continued on stomping down the sewers, grumbling to himself.
"I am right here, you know!" I shouted after him as I readjusted my jacket, jogging to catch up with him. As soon as I said that, he stopped and turned around, leaning forward as he stared at my face. I averted my eyes and put my head down, avoiding his gaze.
There was a hand under my chin and Raph forcefully pulled my face up to look at him as I heard the others getting closer to us, Leo shouting something. Raph sighed gently as he let go of me, sending me one last glance and a parting word as he continued on.
"Then why doesn't it feel like it?"
I sat on top of a dumpster, watching boredly as the boys whooped, halfway through a war with the Foot Clan. Raph had been weirdly quiet since he'd last spoken to me and I wasn't about to fight that, so I conversed lightly with with Mikey, who was quickly able to make me laugh. Donnie and Leo would share quick little whispers as they ducked by each other, and it didn't take an Einstein to know who they were talking about. So, I ignored them as well as I just focused on Mikey, who seemed to pick up on his brother's behavior as he stayed even closer to me until the battle was over and there was nothing but broken robot parts strewn about the alleyway.
"Is that all of them?" Leo asked as he looked around slowly and deliberately, as if a hidden one was going to jump out of nowhere and try to attack.
"I think we got 'em. What do you think, (y/n)? Ready to talk now?" Raph demanded as he turned to look at me from where I was still seated on the dumpster. I narrowed my eyes and shook my head as he groaned and stomped over to Leo and Donnie, who were still conversing quietly- probably to complain about me.
"(Y/n), can you please just talk to us- me at least? We just want to know what that jerk did to you 'cause it obviously wasn't good. Please?" I sighed and gestured Mikey closer as I considered just telling him. Would he be able to keep it a secret? Honestly, I believed that once he heard he would. Besides, it might be good to-
"Help!" A scream ripped through my eardrums. I froze in fear and my breath caught as I realized why it had scared me so much. The scream was raw loud, vocal cords trying their hardest not to break through the head-pounding cry that came from whoever was screaming. It had scared me so much because I had made that exact desperate attempt for help a week ago.
Without even thinking about myself or anyone else, I leapt off the dumpster and stomped towards Leo, reaching up and grabbing one of his katanas. Ignoring the calls of the boys behind me, I held the sword in front of me and ran as fast as I could towards where the sound had come from.
"(Y/n), wait!" Leo took off after me first.
"What are you doing, you idiot!" Then Raph.
"Plan! What plan?" Donnie.
"Wait, where did everybody go?" ...
I entered the alleyway and saw a girl about my age with four men around her. They were mugging and oh my- Pushing back tears of my own memories, I ran forward with the sword raised, determined to keep this poor girl from suffering the same night terrors and sessions that I still went through.
I screamed as I slashed down in front one of the men to keep them further away from her as she ran behind me, shivering and sobbing. I held the sword out again and without thinking, rushed forward again. Three of the men screamed and took off the other way, shoving and pushing each other back.
"Let's get out of here!"
"Dang- she crazy!"
"Holy sh-"
I slashed the sword again and the last guy that had taken shelter against a wall shoved off and spit on the ground before locking eyes on the girl behind me.
"You're not even worth it. Can't believe I almost wasted my whole night on you." My thoughts shattered as the words filled my head- first the attacker's and then the words that were spoken to me a week ago as I stumbled out of a guy's car in the middle of the abandoned part of New York. I didn't realize it but I was now shaking and muttering to myself as I shook my head, keeping my eyes shut. I was good on silence as there was no sound.
But then, I heard footsteps. The guy- the one that had just said a girl wasn't even worth what he was about to do to her- was running. Oh hell no.
My eyes shot open and I could see nothing, hear nothing, but the guy's back and the echoing sound of his footsteps as he sprinted away. Fully in control, I lifted the sword over my head and thrust it forward as hard as I could.
Thunk. Bang.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head up to the sky, taking a deep breath in as I tried to keep my hands from shaking even worst than they already were. There- I had just done what no one had done for me.
"Are you okay? Come over here with me." I was aware of Mikey talking to my left- probably to the girl- as she shakily answered and he swooped her up in his arms and quickly made his way further back behind me. Oh, he was trying to keep her from seeing what I had just done. I silently thanked him as I sniffed and picked my head up, turning around to face my fate with my head held high.
The boys were all there, staring at me with wide eyes and slightly-opened mouths like they had just been caught up in something that they weren't ready for. Even Mikey, who was sitting a few feet away with the girl in front of him, was talking to her with a shaky voice as she continued to shiver and nod like if she disagreed with him he could call the men back.
There was movement in front of me. My eyes jolted back over to Leo as he took careful steps forward and I flinched as he put a hand on my shoulder. Immediately, I wrenched out of his grasp with a shaking breath as I felt the rest of my body trembling wildly along with my heart. Attempting to take another deep breath, it caught and I ended up coughing as I held a hand up to my mouth.
With wide eyes, I looked at the boys again, hoping to see different responses. Their eyes were still wide and hadn't moved since I had gone off-plan. My heart twisted painfully in my chest as I realized the way they were looking at me. They were staring into my soul the same way people looked at them and everything born from the mutagen.
They were looking at me like I was a monster.
I didn't like that feeling, so I shoved past the boys and when I reached the girl, who was still crying quietly in front of Mikey- who wasn't looking at me- I knelt down beside her. I watched myself with quick breaths as I lifted a shaky hand and offered it to the girl. If she accepted it than what I had done was right, right? I mean if the girl I was saving thought of me as a monster also, then was I really a monster? I had just lost my mind and put a sword through a guy because he had said the same words I had heard when I was alone and in need of help. Did that make me crazy? And if not, then what was I?
I was so deep in thought, I didn't notice when the girl's hand had began raising itself towards me, her fingers gently touching mine. Startled, I flinched and she did too, dropping her hand and leaning away. Letting out a gentle breath, I sucked my lips into my mouth and did it again, attempting to smile at the girl, who was staring up at me with wide eyes.
Her fingers laced through mine as I gently pulled her to her feet, making sure she was okay before I turned to the boys, still not looking at them. I didn't think I could take the looks on their faces. Instead, I stared down at our shoes as we shuffled slowly past everyone and I made sure to lean my body forward so the girl beside me didn't have to see what I had done. I didn't want her to think it was her fault.
"I'm taking her home." Everyone flinched at the tone and sudden harshness of my voice, but what kept me from breaking down was that instead of flinching again, the girl's hand tightened around mine, as if asking for nothing more than that. And I was willing to give it to her.
As we walked past the body of the face-down man to our right, I leaned down and grasped the sword in my hand. With one harsh tug, there was a squelching noise and then the ringing sound that metal makes as I propped it over my shoulder, aware it was still leaking blood.
And then, without looking back, we left the alleyways and the boys with a problem that they weren't ready to deal with.
I peered around the corner and sighed as I stepped out, making my way down the alleyway with my phone in hand. I turn another corner to go behind a building and run into someone.
"Oh, I'm so-" I then notice that it's Leo with his arms crossed as he stares down at me. I immediately pivot and run into Donnie. Mikey and Raph are on my left and right and I sigh, knowing I'm cornered. "What do you want?" I demand lowly, wanting nothing anything more but to just go home and go to bed. Obviously that wasn't happening today.
"I think you know why we're here." I sigh and lower my head as the boys back off to give me some space while I think.
"The guy was gonna hurt her! What else was I supposed to do? Just leave-"
"No! But you were not supposed to put yourself in danger like that, (y/n). I mean, what were you thinking?" Leo shouts at me as I stare at him with furrowed eyebrows.
"I was thinking about her, Leo! That girl that was getting-" I cut myself off with a growl in my throat as I took a deep breath and faced him again. "Leo, she didn't deserve that. That guy was going to hurt and I stopped him! I stopped him, Leo! If I could've stopped the guy that hurt me I would, but I'd go through it again if I had to save her!" I froze as I realized what I had just said. I had outed myself because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut.
"What did you just say?" Raph demanded in a whisper from my left as I sighed and squatted down, holding my face in my cold hands. "(Y/n)-"
"It was the date. We went to the abandoned side of New York by the amusement park and he started- I thought I wouldn't be able to stop him- he pushed my seat down and tried to get over the console-" I was sobbing now, crying loudly as I held my face, hands shaking against my skin as I trembled.
Suddenly, my hands were grabbed in larger, warmer ones and Leo gave me no time to flinch before he was pressing his forehead against mine, muttering to himself. "Oh my God, (y/n). I'm so sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry..." He continued to whisper to me even as I slowly began to calm down until I was just crying lightly. I found Donnie and Mikey hugging my sides as Raph patted my back gently, not saying anything.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Leo finally asked as he wiped my eyes. I took a deep breath and sniffed, leaning back against Raph, who held me tightly.
"Because what good would it do? The cops can't do anything since he never actually did anything- it was just an attempt. And besides, his mom's a lawyer. She would never let anything happen to him. Why should I bother?"
"(Y/n), don't think that. You have the right to tell someone. Whether he locked you in his car or attempted something- you have the right to be able to tell someone that there is something wrong with him. It was not your fault." At this, I began crying again, nodding my head.
"Yes it was. If I had said no or worn sweats or left faster-" Leo shook his head, his eyes filling with tears at seeing my pathetic state.
"(Y/n), why do you feel more regret than he does?" I heard from behind me. I turned my head to see Raph looking at me seriously, his hands clenched.
"What?"
"(Y/n), the guy is probably off living his best life while you're the one sitting and regretting saying what if you were the one who did something different. He's not doing that. He's probably wishing you hadn't gotten that door open. He's not sitting on his floor crying somewhere asking himself why he tried to do that. The victim is always sorrier than the offender, (y/n)." My breath caught and I leaned back, tender eyes leaking again.
"You're going to be okay, (y/n). And it's going to take a long time for you to feel okay again, but we are here for you. Don't ever hide anything like that from us again."
"I don't regret it. What I did." I lifted my head and stared at Leo with clear eyes, letting him know that I was telling the truth.
"And I'm not asking you to." He said gently, reaching up to pat my head gently. That was the end of our talking I knew. So, for another hour or so, we sat in the alleyway and the boys listened to me as I let out every scream and every tear I had kept in me since that night. I thought crying in my room at midnight was helping me let it go, but I wasn't. I was doing it alone, regretting.
This was different. It was the boys on all sides of me, holding me together even though I was falling apart. But I knew that they would be there to build me back up again no matter how many times I fell apart.
And that's all I could ask for.
1+(800)656-4673 is the national sexual assault hotline. if you or anyone you know has or is being sexually assaulted, please do not give another thought to calling or telling someone you trust. or even if you just wanna talk about anything, guys, my dms are always always open to anyone. as a survivor, i would hate to know or hear about how someone i love (u guys) has ever been touched in any way that wasn't consentual because that takes such a huge toll on someone and i dont wish that upon my worst enemy.
thank u, i love u and please stay safe.
buying a taser and using it on anyone who even looks at u wrong>>>