If there's one thing you'd have to avoid while you are in Medical School, it would be distractions. Being distracted can lead to losing focus and being focused is the vital key to survive Medical School.
Getting into Medical School is hard, but staying here is so much harder.
I groomed myself to let go of any unnecessary thoughts that can make me slow down in doing my priorities— being a Doctor (a good one) is my top priority.
I should be focused.
But as I recall the bumping incident with Addie, I can't help but think about things.
Cole is now busy studying in front of me. He's browsing his material while writing some notes. One thing about him, he writes the things he needs to remember. He doesn't use mnemonics. He just write it.
He's studying while I'm fucking spacing out.
I sighed. Napatingin ako sa kanya nang bigla siyang tumigil sa pagsusulat at tumingin sa akin.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He suddenly asked.
I sighed again. He knows me too well.
"I bumped into Addie earlier."
"Addie?"
I almost rolled my eyes. "Addie as in your Addie."
His brows raised. "Yeah? Where?"
"Coffee shop while I was buying coffee." I answered.
"Why do you sound like you're about to fight me?"
Did I sound like it?
Inilingan ko siya at sinubukan muling magfocus nalang sa ginagawa. Maya-maya ay nagsalita siya ulit.
"Can I sleep over?" Pagpapaalam niya.
I scoffed. "Seriously, why don't you just move in?"
He stared at me for seconds. "Can I?"
"Cole!" Saway ko sa kanya.
He chuckled before standing to go to me. I froze when he suddenly went to back hug me and kissed my shoulders three times.
"Are you bothered by Addie?" He softly asked.
"Is there a need to?"
"None." Sagot niya agad.
"If you say so." I muttered.
He sighed before kissing the side of my neck. "If it's not obvious, I'm all eyes on you, Doc."
My cheeks burned when he said that. We fell silent for a moment. He was still hugging me from the back.
"What if she comes back in your life?" I asked the thing that has been bothering me.
"She's a past for a reason and we became exes for a reason, too." He answered.
I rolled my eyes. "That did not answer the question."
I decided to face him. I need to get this over with.
"What if she comes back and tell you she wants you back?" I asked him.
"She wouldn't." He answered with confidence. My brow raised. "And if she does, I'd say no."
"Why?"
He chuckled before pulling me closer. "Why do you have to ask? Of course, I wouldn't take her back."
"Why?"
"Because I already have my sometimes-apathetic doctor in my arms now."
I bit my lips to stop myself from smiling.
People who are in a relationship should really understand the value of reassurance. Assuming that your partner always know his or her stand in your life is wrong.
He leaned for a quick kiss. "Let's not pick a fight, please? I have so much on my plate."
I nodded.
--
"What about a barbie theme?"
Tory's birthday is coming up. We were on a zoom call to plan for it since I can't go home due to my jam packed schedule.
"If we're gonna have a themed party, it's better if it's inside out themed. That's her favorite." I commented while I was writing notes.
I was studying when they called.
"Right." Pag-agree naman ni Papa.
I have watched inside out for countless times already because it was Tory's favorite. Malapit ko na makabisado yung bawat line ng characters.
There was one a time when she told me that I'm the real life Joy and Sadness because I make her happy and I make her sad when I leave.
"How are we gonna do it?" My Mom asked.
"Ikaw si Bing bong, love." Pagbibiro ni Papa kay Mama. Agad namang sumimangot si Mama at inirapan si Papa.
Napailing ako habang nagsusulat.
"Respeto naman sa single!" Pagbibiro ni Tita Karen.
Napailing nalang ako. They act like they're not nearly sixties.
"What if maghire nalang tayo ng organizer para hindi na tayo mahirapan pare-pareho?" I nodded at Tita Karen's suggestion.
If I have all the time in the world right now, I'd volunteer to organize Tory's birthday party. But I don't. I'm in Medical School.
"By the way, how are you, hija?" Tita Karen suddenly asked. "How's Med School for you?" Dagdag ni Tita.
"Hectic po, Tita. Especially Cole. Midterms na po kasi next week." Sagot ko.
"Oh! Speaking of Cole, do you know his ex Addie?"
Napatigil ako sa pagsusulat.
"Did Cole mention her to you?"
Nilingon ko ang screen. I saw how my Mom turned to Tita Karen and back to me.
"Uh... yes po." I answered with a hint of uncertainty.
We don't really talk about his ex. We could, if I'd ask about it. And I don't. I choose not to.
I wasn't a part of it.
It shouldn't really matter.
"Yes, I bumped into her kasi the other day! Ang ganda talaga ng batang 'yon!" She enthusiastically said.
Oh.
"Nakakatuwa yon kasi kahit laking America, kuhang-kuha ang paggalang ng mga Filipino. We ate lunch together nga, eh." Pag-kkwento ni Tita Karen.
I suddenly felt a lump in my throat. I shifted on my seat.
The topic became uncomfortable.
Suddenly, there was an urge to disconnect myself from this meeting.
I hate that I'm pretending like I'm curious about this story but the truth is, I don't wanna know.
There's another reason why I don't ask about Cole's past that much. It's going to make me uncomfortable.
"She's really nice! Kaya nga nalungkot ako noong nalaman ko na nagbreak silang dalawa!"
I bit my lips and nodded.
"Karen, magmove-on ka nga!" Pagpigil sabi sa kanya ni Mama. "Mamaya may iba na pala na dinadate si Cole tapos ganyan ka sa ex!"
"Eh wala pa naman!" Sagot naman agad ni Tita. "Alam mo, I'll invite her over some other time! You'll like her! She's a very good conversationalist!"
Hindi pa pala alam ni Tita.
Hindi pa siguro nababanggit ni Cole.
He's busy. Isa pa, Tita Karen's very fond of Addie.
By her stories, I can see how great of a girl she is.
Of course. Cole wouldn't date her if she wasn't nice.
"Magkakasundo kayong dalawa, Vienne!"
I don't think so.
Hindi naman ako good conversationalist.
"I'm hoping to meet her soon po!" I said. "I gotta go na po pala. I have so much reading to do pa po." Paalam ko.
I saw my Dad mouthed "I love you" to me before I exit the zoom meeting. I smiled.
I found myself staring at my wall for a couple of minutes after the call.
There was a slight tightness in my chest.
It was uncomfortable.
I tapped my chest, trying to stop it.
I hate being uncomfortable.
I hate how uncomfortable I am right now.
I sighed.
This is nothing.
I just need water.
I need to study.
There's no room for distractions, Erica Vienne.