What does fear feel like?
Not once in my life had I felt it, never. That was where my strength came from. I could never lose; I could never be defeated.
Everyone who had ever lost did so out of fear. Fear of death, fear of betrayal, fear of me. They surrendered or fell under my unending confidence, incapable of standing up or keep fighting against my unending assault.
I had never in my life felt fear before, and this school was no different.
I hadn't come across anyone who could make me feel fear, not that I was looking for it. No, what I was looking for was a challenge. And I had found it in Ayanokouji.
That monster completely defeated me. I was utterly crushed as he saw through every single plan, figured out my every move. But still I wasn't afraid of him.
I was excited.
Finally, an opponent who I couldn't intimidate, who I couldn't threaten or bribe or backstab. He had no weaknesses, that I could see, and would find and exploit even the slightest mistake someone made.
Ibuki had buried her camera and walkie-talkie far away from the Class D camp, yet he had still found them. I left the walkie-talkie on the table, an innocuous inconspicuous mistake, yet just from that he figured out my entire plan.
He could read me, in a way that no one else ever could. Just from my actions, in our short 10-minute conversation, he was able to figure out that I wasn't the leader, even though all the hidden evidence had been placed to make it seem like I was.
That had been Shiina's idea. I was surprised to see her get involved, but she had her reasons, and even though it hadn't helped in the end, against any other opponent her input would have been invaluable.
She had been the one to suggest that I wasn't the leader, but to fake that I was and hide it. A two-layer bait, wherein once someone had seen through the first deception, they would grow complacent, satisfied with their own success, and not look any further. It was a brilliant strategy, one I hadn't thought of myself, but unfortunately, you couldn't slip anything past that bastard.
I couldn't wait to fight him myself.
I didn't care what manner it was, how I did it, as long as I got to beat the monster I would be happy.
This school was amazing. The entire system was setup for classes to fight, which meant that in the next three years, I would be encouraged to challenge him again and again.
Because I knew it would take time. Twice now, he had crushed me, snatching victory from a situation I had engineered to solidify my victory. To beat someone of his caliber would take time. I wasn't under any delusion that I could crush him now.
I had watched as he fought Suzune, but fought is a generous term. He demolished her. It was incredible. I had never seen such a one sided fight in my life, but the best part was the man himself.
He didn't even care.
It was clear from his face, the way he moved, that this was something that didn't even concern him. Utter destruction of someone who clearly had some martial arts training, and it wasn't even worth his time.
Even better, was he was taunting her.
He could have taken her down in one blow. I could feel the power behind them just from watching the fight, and it was clear he was intentionally holding back, and targeting stronger parts of her body to make the fight last longer. I had no doubts that if it came to a one-on-one confrontation, he could end any fight as quickly as he wanted. I doubt even Albert could have stood up to him.
Instead, he dragged it out, torturing the bitch, teaching her a lesson. I think the fight would have happened even if he didn't need to get her key card.
Ayanokouji just wanted to teach her a lesson.
But that was the difference between me and her. She fell down and couldn't get back up. She curled up in a ball and cried, begging for the pain to end. She was broken and humbled, and I didn't think she would ever recover from the damage he had caused to her, both physically and mentally.
I wouldn't do that.
For the next three years, monster, I'll be targeting you. No matter how many times you beat me, no matter what happens, I won't give in.
You've beaten me twice. You'll probably beat me more. It doesn't matter how many times. You can take me down in one hit, or drag it out slowly, it won't change anything.
I will never give up. No matter how much I lose, no matter how much I suffer, I won't feel fear, and I won't be afraid of you, and I won't give up.
You can beat me into the dirt. You can drive my class down to zero points, and while I'm working for them, now I'm also working against you.
Eventually, you'll make a mistake. Eventually, I'll catch you unawares. You'll walk around a corner into six people, and be attacked from all sides. I'll break into your dorm at night and beat you while you sleep.
I don't care what it takes. Things like honor are pathetic and worthless crutches for the losers of the world. I will beat you, no matter what I have to do.
The key is to target a weakness. Everyone has one. And now I know what yours is.
Kikyou.
I don't think you care about anything or anyone. You don't have the ability to feel. I saw it in your face when you shit on Suzune, you don't understand empathy.
But you do care for Kikyou, in whatever twisted way it is.
She's your weak link. She's your connection to the rest of the school. If nothing else, you need her on your side. Without her, you lose.
So, defend yourself from me. I'll come at you, and you'll fight me off. But I'll also be coming for Kikyou. Not now, not yet. We'll have some fun first, just you and me. But eventually I'll come for her too. Then we'll see just how capable you really are, you bastard.
I've never felt fear. I never will. I'm not capable of it. And even you, as powerful as you are, can't make me.
And that means you can't stop me.
I'm coming for you Ayanokouji.
I won't stop, and the only thing you can do is expel me. But I don't think you will, because where's the fun in that.
You and Kikyou, you're fighting alone. You've challenged the whole grade in this exam and won. Do you really think you can keep that up?
I suppose we'll see, you bastard.
But don't think for a minute, I'll ever be scared of you
Authors Notes
Right, so I really can't write Ryuuen. For fucks sake he's so difficult to get right. I spent at least twice as long on this than the other two, and it still ended up being half the length.
Main take-away from this chapter? Shiina got involved and helped out with the exam. Her reasons for that will be explained later, but the story is starting to properly diverge from the main novels now. Arc 3 was a turning point.
Now onto the sad thing. When I was planning and writing this, the one thing I wanted to avoid was ever breaking my schedule, but unfortunately I'm going to have to. This fic will be on a one week hiatus while I over-study for my exams and recuperate from my body breaking down once I have no reason to force myself to function. I'm not doing amazing right now, it's a lot of pressure, and I haven't managed my time properly. So there, I have done what I was hoping to never have to do.
I will be writing during this week, but that's to keep some kind of buffer again, and to properly figure out this arc, because the Zodiac exam is kinda funky. Arc 4 will start next Sunday, once I'm free, so I apologies for doing the thing that frustrates me the most with other fics I read. I promise I will be back.
As always, hope you enjoyed! See you in a week.