𝑅𝑒𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 - 𝐵𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛 𝐺𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑛𝑒

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛

A few days ago, Benjamin and I were visiting Mom's house in Devon and suddenly Marsha was there. I told Benjamin the story about Marsha how she ruined her friendship with Mom for having an affair with Edward. What really surprised Benjamin was that Marsha is black; figuring out why I and Benjamin are not capable of each other from my family's views.

I have no clue why my family is truly disgusted by my interracial relationship with Benjamin, even though I have light-colored skin. I have no clue what my racial background is but I know I'm black because Fred said so when he found me in front of the orphanage.

After yesterday's sudden surprise from Marsha, I'm here at my home with Benjamin while he's making my coffee as I am writing an email to Anna. Anna sent me an email last night that there is the first edition of my collection of poems book, The Sounds of Silence for Single Moms. I don't know what it looks like, but I know in my heart it's gonna look beautiful. I'm writing to Anna to let her know that I am blessed to have her as my editor and willing to write another novel soon. When Benjamin comes inside my office with my coffee, there was a knock on my front door.

I look at Benjamin with nervousness and excitement as I walk to the front door. I wrap myself a white knitted cardigan along with a white shirt and jean leggings when I am barefoot. I open the door and greet the mailman, sign the official document, and he hands me a mailing box from the publishing company. I took a deep breath and walk to my office where Benjamin was waiting for me. I grab a letter opener from my desk to cut out the tapes.

As I open my box, I start to cry in tears of happiness. I pick my book up to get a better view. A leather faux of light purple hardcover with my name and title in silver cursive. Benjamin hugs me from behind and kisses my cheek. "It looks so beautiful," and he looks me straight in the eyes. "You did it, Lia." We smile at each other and I hug him so tight to thank him for being there for me. He let go of the hug, "Well it's partly raining out; I have few ideas to celebrate tonight with you."

"Really, already?" We both laugh. "Ok..." He put my book down on my desk and held my head to kiss me with passion.

As he was done, he gaze at me so differently that I couldn't describe what he's thinking. It gives me a listen to my heart beating, "Lia... I-" Front door rang and I look at Benjamin with confusion, not expecting anyone to visit. I walk to my front door again, and I open it to see my siblings: Patrick, Della, and Leo.

"This is a surprise!" I hug Patrick and Della, "A nice one..." I hug Leo, but they all have troubled and concerned faces. After my hug with Leo, I ask them, "Is everything ok?"

Della replies, "Yeah, it's fine, sis..." Della is a really horrible liar to see clearly on her face. Benjamin says hello to my siblings but they ignore Benjamin and focus on me.

"We need to speak to you," said Patrick

"Ok..." I cross my arms waiting for them to speak to me.

"In private, sis..." Leo says to me, looking down at his shoes. Of course, they all want to speak to me, only me without Benjamin.

I turn to Benjamin with an apologetic look on him, "Benjamin, do you mind?" Benjamin nods and I guide him to the door, "I'm sorry..."

Benjamin smiles with acceptance, "It's ok, Lia. Family comes first. I'll just go for a walk or something, just call me if you need anything." Benjamin kisses my cheek and closed the door, watching him walk away. I know inside he's a little mad for not letting me join the family position, but maybe in the future, they could see Benjamin as I do. Not the problem.

I turn to my family and ask them for a fresh cup of coffee and Leo wants some. I went to the kitchen to get Leo's cup while I have my cup from my office.

After making a coffee for Leo, my family sits on the couch in the living room in front of the fireplace. I hand Leo his coffee and he thanks me for it as I sit on my resting chair by the fire to keep me warm. Patrick stands up to explain with a nervous look on his face. "It's about Benjamin... There's no easy way of saying this." He looks at Della. "We, well, Della and I, we were out and we happened to..." He pause with a nervous look on his face, I had never seen him that nervous before, "Della and I already share the news with Leo, believe me, we did not want to see anything."

"Just show her already," Della replies. The strange feeling in my stomach comes out again, and I look at my family with curiosity and apprehension.

Patrick pulls his phone out, looking for something, and he looks at me with sympathy. "I'm really sorry, Dahlia..." He hands me his phone, and there is a photo of Benjamin. With someone... not just someone, a young, colored woman who looks similar to me... I absolutely regret ignoring my sense of Benjamin; he is a problem...

"Well, I was so right all along," said Leo, leaning himself on his legs.

Della punches Leo, "This is about our sister, not you, dickhead."

"I was right, Della... Benjamin's up for no good for anyone of us, including our adopted sister. I'm sorry, sis." I keep looking at the photo, heartbroken inside, and I don't feel anything now.

Patrick approaches me and puts his hand on mine for comfort while I'm still looking at the photo with my other hand, "You don't deserve this, sis... Some con artist going around targeting young, really young women with darker skin like you."

Della interrupts Patrick saying that I'm not that young. "I meant in an older, brother way, Della. The point is, he's out dating other colored, young women the closer age as Dahlia, even younger, for some kind of nefarious ends, which I can only imagine are financial seeing as... He's due to be evicted, sis. We have proof if you don't believe us." He still holding my hand as I am looking at Benjamin's photo. I can't breathe.

"Excuse me." I give Patrick his phone back and left the room. I sit on my staircase, tears in my eyes. I close my eyes, and I put my hand on my mouth, holding it, but I couldn't stop it. Sobbing quietly out of my unbreathable lungs. This is what it feels like being heartbroken: couldn't breathe with my empty lungs, hands shaking, tears falling hard, putting my hand on my chest to breathe... a broken heart.

As Patrick calls for me, I wipe my ugly tears with the sleeves of my cardigan and walk toward my family. Della comes toward me to put her arm around my shoulders and her hand on my arms to comfort me, "Sorry, Dahlia, that was so inelegantly done, and that's an understatement." I smile sadly at my sister as she holds me tight.

Patrick replies to Della, "You'd have done a better job, would you? Sis are you... Are you okay?" I nod to Patrick saying I am okay. Okay for still being crushed. "What are you going to do?"

"Break up with him, obviously," answers Leo. "Do it when he gets back, Dahlia."

Patrick spoke up that he should speak for him, then Della informs him, "Can't break up with someone on someone else's behalf unless you're 12. She's a grown-up... and even then."

My family kept arguing that Patrick and Leo should stay for me while Della kept informing them that I can do it on my own. All the noises in my head are telling my family, they need to stop arguing on behalf of me. I shout, "ENOUGH!!!" My family looks at me speechless, waiting for me to respond more than two words since then. "Thank you for telling me. I want to be by myself for now, ok?"

My family understands and leaves the house, with hugs and their goodbyes, as I wander into my office. Full of sorrow.

Benjamin's POV

When Lia needs space with her family, I was walking on the street when suddenly Marsha gives me a ride to a village to stall time for Lia. I ask her about her story with Ted, how she is in a relationship with Ted, not she knows who is the child abuser of my Lia. She waits until we arrive at the village for a smoke in the fresh air. As I take a puff of my cigarette, Marsha gives in the story. "Fine. Headlines, I was married, we moved here for his work, he died."

"How?" I realize that I was badly pried to ask, how she reacted to my question. "Sorry, it's none of my business." I take another puff, as she wants her lighter to smoke along with me.

"Long time ago, and I'm immune to emotion." We walk toward the passage near the entrance of the church and cemetery. "We'd rowed, a white wine row about nothing. He went out into the garden with more wine, a cigar. I stayed in, furious, and started watching Poirot. It got to the first ad break and then the next, and I thought you stubborn bastard. So I got up, walked outside, and.." She lights her cigarette and inhales it with a sad look on her face. "He was on the grass, face down, heart attack. Could never get them to tell me how long it'd taken, which is a giveaway." She takes her puff again.

I lean against the stone fence and wonder, "How do you mean?"

"If I have gone out sooner he would have survived."

I understand her doubt and guiltiness, so I tried to comfort her. "Unhelpful. To think that way."

Marsha takes her deep breath, "After that, it was just Cali and me. I never had anyone else. Then she went to uni. That first night, when it was just me, I lost my shit." I remind her thinking she doesn't do emotion, "We'd been meant to have dinner, the three of us, but I rang Julia, canceled. I couldn't face it. Ted didn't get the message. Came over, saw me, held me, then... kissed me."

I couldn't believe her story with Ted, she didn't mean to have an affair with Ted but she did it anyway. "And that's that is it?"

"Once you've crossed that line you've crossed it. The really terrifying thing is how easy it is to do. In my defense, their marriage was not a good one. Whatever they might say about it now, it was cold. Neither of them deserved that."

I know their abusive marriage due to Lia's story. Ted is truly a monster to women, I know he's willing to do it again. It's hard to imagine the pain in Lia's mom and her siblings. Especially Lia who witnessed all of those eight years. "They were together for 35 years."

Marsha defends, "I known them for 34 of those. Including Dahlia's 10 years of adoption. She is a good one."

It left me thinking of Lia's story about Ted, "What were they like then, as a family? Lia, Ted, and Julia?"

She smiles, "Well, Dahlia is a swell one, reading more books than ever in her young age. She didn't know how to get along with anyone for a friend including my daughter. She was so focused on the academic processes. She graduated college at 19 before she wrote her first novel. She practically stayed at Julia's house all of her life before she moved. Julia is a role model for Dahlia, but in my witness of Ted... the opposite. Especially I saw them together outside of her car recently."

"Recently?"

"I saw Ted shouting at Dahlia outside of Ted's mother's house as Dahlia was ready to leave. He grabbed her arms. Hard. Which terrified me to witness. All of her 10 years with Ted, she never smiled. Until you... Yesterday, I saw Dahlia I had never seen before, a glow in her, she's truly happy in her life."

I look down at my shoes, how Lia had been so lost in her childhood life, filled with knowledge instead of the heart. All she ever wanted from her life is to be able to get out from Ted on her own. I never thought Lia was really sad when I first met her. She was so welcoming and full of herself. Like Marsha said, a glow in her. "I never thought that... she was an outsider."

Marsha stands beside me, "We're all little outsiders in life. Even me, wrap in the unforgiveness from Julia... apart from my friendship with her. If I could have a chance, I wouldn't be in the presence of Ted." Marsha looks at me, "Now you and Dahlia if I were you I would go back bearing gifts."

"Why are you being helpful?"

"Dahlia deserves to be happy along with Julia's sake..."

"As long as Julia is happy, you're off the hook..." Marsha nods. She really cares about Lia and Julia; I understand how she is trapped with Ted, with strings of regrets of losing her friendship with Julia. How Lia's happiness leads to Julia's happiness without Marsha. All I ever want with Lia is to let her be happy. "I don't have my wallet with me to buy Lia's flowers."

Marsha offers some money to me, and I thank her. "Better not linger. People will talk." I smile and walk away, spending my night with Lia. For however it takes.

Dahlia's POV

Staring at the ceiling. Anxious waiting for Benjamin to come back. And I don't want him to come back, not this time. My feelings for Benjamin have gone awry, how stupid of me to think that he's the one for me. Everything that he does is just an act; to get my money. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is Benjamin with that woman. I can't fight the resentment inside of me, but above all, I'm truly broken.

I decided to call someone who can answer my thoughts of Benjamin, honestly, as I dial on my dial phone on my dresser by the chair. After the third ring, she answers. "Hello?"

"Hi, Mom. It's me, Dahlia."

Mom laughs, "I know sweetheart, I recognize your voice anywhere."

"What do you think of Benjamin?"

"Sorry?"

"What do you think of him, honestly?"

"Dahlia is something wrong-"

"Just answer my question, Mom."

"Well, I think he's perfect for you, he's charming and handsome. Most of all I like the fact that he makes you happy, darling, and accepts who you are." I bit my lips to try not to cry in front of Mom. "Dahlia, what's going on?"

"Sorry, Mom, for bursting on you like that. How did you feel when Dad left?"

"This is odd behavior, Dahlia... I never heard you asking me that kind of question. Did something happen with Benjamin?" I quietly cry, waiting for Mom to answer her question. "When Ted left, I was heartbroken by the fact that he slept with my best friend, but above all, I'm relieved that he was gone. Now with the complications of our kids, I get a little terrified when they're wanting him ever since that incident I told you about, Dahlia. I am trying my best to stay zen and hopefully, everything will be ok."

I wipe my tears and smile, "Thanks, Mom."

"Darling, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"I know, Mom. I love you."

"I love you, too."

I hang up on the receiver and take a deep breath, knowing that tonight with Benjamin will not be the best. Like Mom said, I'll try. I walk to the kitchen and start to make bruschettas for tonight. I grab some cherry red, yellow and orange tomatoes from the refrigerator to cut. I pull my hair up in a ponytail and grab my kitchen knife to slice the tomatoes.

As I am cutting my last tomato, the front door slam, knowing that it is Benjamin. I am trying not to "accidentally" cut him with the knife I am holding now. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me on the cheek. "Lia..."

I drop my knife on the cutting panel and turn to him, smiling, "Hi, Benjamin." I kiss him as he smiles against my lips. I look at his lying, dark brown eyes with a smile on my face. "I'm sorry about the walk."

"It's ok... your family needs privacy, and I know they aren't fans of me."

"Yet, Benjamin, they're not fans of you yet, I know they will love you. Do you know how long my family accepts me into the family? A long time, but they accept it." Lying to Benjamin is really hard for me, hoping he won't catch up on my lie. He smiles softly and shows a bouquet of red roses, my favorite. I smile, "You remembered!"

"Of course, Lia, that will be the end of the world if I don't remember my girlfriend's favorite flowers." He smiles, why is he so perfect...? I wish my family wouldn't show me the picture so I could be happy, but I know they were protecting me. "Anyway, I brought this in case there's bad news from your family since they came to a long drive from London."

"No bad news, my family just wanted to come and talk about my mom's villa in Italy for our time together so... Patrick has been struggling as a lawyer so we decide we should have family time there, one day." Benjamin is pleased that we have a family villa, oh I bet he is... "We're having bruschettas tonight." Benjamin smiles and wants to help, so I told him he can toast the baguettes on the pan while I'm cutting tomatoes.

After he is done with baguettes, he puts my flowers in a vase on the kitchen table, where we usually eat here. I serve Benjamin his bruschettas, along with some fruits he helps with. I sit in front of Benjamin while he is opening his wine while I have my water in a wine glass. We begin to eat, Benjamin is still using his act, enjoying my cooking. "They're delicious, Lia, like always. So, what are your plans for tonight to celebrate?"

I remind him, "Well, I thought you already have 'few ideas' to celebrate." He smiles, "I don't know, I just want to spend some time with you together." I keep smiling at him so he won't suspect my act, "Tell me the news of London?" I haven't heard anything from his friends, especially my dear friend, Bianca.

"It's dull without you, nothing special. Work's full-on. Zac's on some kind of power trip at the moment. As for Bianca, she misses you. Enjoyed your last conversation with her, I inform her that you were busy with your work so she understood."

I drink my water suspecting him, "Well, tell her I'm waiting for her call."

After our dinner, Benjamin cleans the dishes while I am reading my edition of a new book to see what they design there. It's still beautiful. Benjamin remove his sweater, which left him wearing a grey v-neck. He grabs his glasses and snuggles with me in the living room as he reads my poems. Listening to him read never gives me warmth anymore like he usually did when he read some of my favorite books.

As the night falls, I see Benjamin stop reading, knowing he is taking a nap as I did while hearing him. I grab my book from him and look at him sleeping so peacefully. Peacefully. Peacefully. I am so done with this shit.  I collect Benjamin's stuff- his papers, his clothes, and his books in his bag, and most importantly his gift from him, postcard and Pride and Prejudice. I sob running down the stairs, heading toward the front door. Throwing his bag out of the door, Benjamin heard me sobbing and stomping from his sleep. "Lia? LIA? What are you doing?!" He wraps his arms around to stop me, I fight it off.

"I KNOW! I KNOW!" I push his chest to get him away from me, asking what I know about. I sob, "About you! About what you do... Preying on women. Young, colored women!"

"What are you talking about!?!"

"THEY SAW YOU!!!" I throw Pride and Prejudice at him and he ducks, "Patrick and Della, doing your thing. How many of us are there? How do you find the time leeching off all of us at once?!?!" I couldn't breathe, sobbing my tears away in front of him. "Since when do you care about me? Just because I'm rich, you wanna have a piece of the money and act like you protect me or care but it's all your selfish desires!" I cry so hard, and I still can't breathe, "A man like you is about to be evicted, and you're pimping yourself out."

I shout at him, "What the hell are you doing in my house if you don't care about me so much? Why did I let you listen to MY STORY?!!? What the hell are you doing here in my LIFE!?!? I got some news for you, Benjamin. I wish to GOD I haven't met you!" I wipe my tears furiously.

Benjamin shakes his head, his eyes filling with tears, "Lia, you don't mean that... Look, your family got it wrong. It was a work dinner, she was a client."

"Oh, you think I would fall for that?" I look at him furiously as I am dropping his bag in front of him as I walk to my house in anger.

He grabs my arm as he reaches his phone, reading a text, "Benj take one for the team with lady Shenbrook will you? The harrigan keeps threatening to yank the account. And as we all know you've got a way with the blue rinse brigade. Cheers, Zac." He gives me his phone as I read the text. He wasn't lying, my family was wrong, I was wrong...

I look at Benjamin who's in guilt, "Yes, yes, Dahlia, I have missed a few bills and I've been put on notice with my flat, but it doesn't mean I have been using you!" That is the first time he said my real name and he's angry and embarrassed by his confession toward me. He grabs his bag and looks at me with an unreadable expression, "I'm gonna go." He walks away...

Why did I believe my family when they clearly don't want me to be happy with Benjamin? My heart was broken from the lies they created. Why can't they accept me for who I am... I pick up my book and look down in guilt from my outrage words to Benjamin. Of course, I want him in my life. He makes me happy, so happy I haven't had one since my prison with Edward.

I walk toward Benjamin looking down on his phone, possibly thinking of leaving me. "Benjamin, please... Please don't go."

Benjamin looks at me astounded, "What was that, Lia? The apocalyptic reaction. Where, where is that coming from? Who is that about? Because the only thing that it's saying to me is that you don't trust me."

I cross my arms, force of habit, leaning against my front door frame, "I do, Benjamin. It's just hard to trust anyone ever since... him."

"I'm not Ted... I haven't done what he did to you, Lia," I look down on my feet, "You, your family, you are all angry at the wrong person."

"The main thing is that you weren't honest with me."

"When was I supposed to tell you? What, at the bridge or our first date? In the library, maybe? When, Lia, when? Is it really so bad that I just wanted to forget, that the first day I didn't have to be saddled with my own worries and debts and all of my shit and I could just be, I could just be me."

I understand his doubts, wanting to forget, and be him... I couldn't say my real name when I first met him and kept worrying that he's focusing on my popularity more than the real me. "How did you get so behind? Benjamin..." I look at telling him that he won't get embarrassed anymore, that he can trust me.

"Ali, she asked me to move in with her, and I... could not think of a time when that wouldn't be okay. And then it wasn't. So I ended up sleeping on my friends' sofas until I got that crappy one-bed. Just,... couldn't seem to do much."

"What level of debt you're behind on?"

"Imminent eviction, bailiffs, my phone's been cut-off."

"How much do you need, Benjamin?"

Benjamin looks at me and shakes his head, "No, no, no way... I'm not giving your family any more rope to hang me with."

"It's none of their business, and I want to help you..."

"Relying on someone else, it just... it never ends well. With the wrong person."

"Benjamin, I still want you in my life... I'm sorry about my reaction, it's just... I can't handle the secrets or lies."

"Dahlia, I won't hurt you like he did. I promise..."

I nod, and I uncross my arms and walk toward Benjamin as he walks toward me. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him. He put his right hand on my head as I cry a little due to my idiocy. I love him. I love... Benjamin. I'm in love with him. "Lia..." He pauses, "I love you." Did he just read my thoughts? I look at Benjamin, hoping he would say it again, "I love you, Lia."

He wipes my tears from my eye, I smile, "I love you, Benjamin... all of you." He smiles, and lifts my chin up with his index finger, and kisses me. Passionately. All of my worries are gone, I only want him. He pulls away just to look at me, but I wasn't done...

I grab his right cheek and kiss him deeper. He kisses me back a little more deeply, and chills are in my arms and my heart is beating out of my chest. I pull away to look him straight in his eyes, "I'm ready."

Benjamin's eyes soften, but more serious, "Are you sure?" I smile at him and nod. My arms are around his neck as he kisses me back, holding me tight. I'm walking backward until Benjamin closes the door with his foot.

As we walked upstairs, my back is pinned against the wall closer to my bedroom. Benjamin kisses me deeply as he pulls out my ponytail, and lays my hair aside on my shoulders. I feel his hands on my back, giving me chills upon my spine. I walk forward to get us towards the room upon the bedroom door frame. I feel Benjamin's tongue caressing my lips, wanting deeper, and I open my mouth to let him. I moan, feeling his hands upon my cheeks, gently in my hair, and take off of my cardigan.

I'm lost in a pleasurable haze as he kisses on my neck, my jawline, and finally on my lips. I lift his top, and he pulls away to let me undress him. Leaving him shirtless, my hands caress his chest to his neck to pull him down to kiss me briefly. I feel his hands are on my waist, my hands are stripping his pants off, leaving him in boxers. I kiss his neck, and he moans my name, "Lia..." My hands tangle in his hair as his hands are still on my waist. He pulls away to slip off of my shirt, which leaves me in a white lace bra, leaving me embarrassed. His eyes gazed up and down, and he smiles softly, "You look beautiful."

I grin softly and kiss him, his hands are on my waist again to get me out of my leggings. As I take a few steps forward, he places himself on the bed, letting me be on top of his lap. He moves my hair away from my head to get him a better view of me. My hands are tangle in his hair as we continue kissing each other passionately as I feel his fingers on the strap of my bra. He removes it across the room, I feel his hands on my back up to my thighs to flip me over so I'm beneath him. The weight of him on top of me gives me nerves, in a good way. He pulls away to gaze at each other's eyes. I feel his thumb caressing my lips, "I love you, Lia."

"I love you too, Benjamin."

"Just tell me when to stop, ok?" I nod, swallowing my nerves and anxiety. He takes off of my underwear and his boxers and comes over to me. He kisses me gently and slowly pushes himself in. I gasp, feeling him inside of me, pressure. He looks at me, and I nod shakily. He thrust in on me slowly... He gives a small moan and buried his head on my neck. I slip my arms around him, as he gets deeper and deeper. From now, the pain turns to pleasure. No flashbacks, no triggers, no anxiety. He kisses me deeply and moves his hands on my chest as he thrusts deeper and a little faster.

I moan, "Benjamin..."

He looks down on me with his beautiful eyes, which I've fallen in love with. "Lia..." He moans and he thrusts me. I pull him down to kiss him deeper as we moan our way through the starry night... Together.