you are a blood sap tree and red is all over my body.
they say no girl bows to god but i'd pray at your altar even if it scraped my knees raw.
i hope you understand.
i hope you taste sacrifice and think of me; viscera and rib and cerebrospinal fluid strewn over
my own mother's garden.
i hope you clutch and tear at the earth for a semblance of life; i hope all you find are seedlings watered and bloodied by me.
and i know it's all poison, the girls, the wounds.
you all thought you tricked me (clever, clever you. silly, silly me.)
sweet, darling, stupid girl.
no girl bows before god, but this one tried her hand at a goddess.
i confess, i know a secret.
i am the solute and you the solvent. me doused in the gasoline of you. me dissolved in the infinity of you. a girl devoured raw by a force she cannot begin to comprehend. fate, the poets might say. devil, the believers might say. but when you dissipate, what'll be left?
me collected. me whole.
me in my infinity, not yours.