Tessa
" You know there is nothing to be nervous about right?" Hardin assures me while personally helping me take off my coat. Aurther standing beside , waiting for Hardin to hand it to him, patiently. So that he can carefully place it away.
I look at Hardin's knowing eyes. He sees right through my facade of trying to act cool. But I am not. I am freaking out infact . I have never been to an event like this. Dressed like this. As a date for someone. My stomach is practically swinging.
And Holy fuck this place is posh. This isn't some random local club or restaurant. This is magnificent.
Also the fact that Hardin just enlightened me that the entryway we took wasn't even the original front one. The original one looks better he said and perhaps right now is packed with paps. I did notice a few of them en route here but Hardin said it was nothing compared to the front.
I imagine the way my face dropped at that piece of information. He assured me they weren't allowed inside but that doesn't mean that the stature of this event isn't scaring me.
" I am not nervous..." I try and lie a little to not look like a fool.
He exhales with an eye roll at my stubborn denial.
" Okhay... Good... Because you shouldn't be. It's no different from a normal Party." He says. His hands fixes the ruffles over my arms. It's amusing because he is looking at me while aimlessly playing and I guess he isn't even realising that himself, that he is doing so.
" Except everything looks expensive beyond belief..." I state as a matter of fact.
" Um yeah.. It's Chris's best Casino so..." He shrugs.
I know Hardin is trying to assure me but The Christian Vance, owner of nineteen hotels and pubs having an event at his best place with the media waiting to gate crash....
Ok, that is not so good of a feeling for my stomach, because it plummets some more at that thought.
" Tess..." I look up-realising I am blankly staring at his chest-on hearing my name softly... " Don't look so scared. Everyone is human around here... " He smiles in a tiny attempt to humour.
I chew down my lip trying to believe him...
I mean I know and these aren't some Vampires but still the entire situation feels so dramatically scary right now...
My knees feel wobbly, I look down at my feet, second guessing my decision to wear a four inch to just not look so mini beside him. Now I would rather look short than fall.
I blow a little air out, " I am not... scared... Just don't let me trip over.. "
He squints his face then chuckles.... " Not a chance, love..." He promises pushing a loose curl away from my shoulder again.
I am momentarily distracted ny his fingers brushing against skin raising goosebumps but he cuts the feeling short. Turning around and grabbing my hands in a tight grip, which isn't uncomfortable he guides me in...
" And for the first time I guess you need something to drink... " He mumbles still chuckling while walking ahead.
Rounding the corner, we are greeted by two women and two men by a door...
Like a flip switch the air changes the moment we come into their vision. And it's Viceversa.
Hardin straightens pulling me closer and placing his free hand on my waist. Contrary to his gentle touch on me, his stance is formal. I feel Aurther follow us behind.
The people at the gate suddenly all alarmed.
" Mr. Scott..." They say in unison.... " Miss Young... welcome..." In the most polite manner. Even bowing a little before the men pushes the door open the door letting us in.
While I try to smile at them, Hardin hardly even looks, only sparing a nod he guides me in.
The first thing I notice stepping in, that it's warm. Comfortably warmer than the way I was feeling chilled, outside the gate when I opened the coat. It help a tad with the nervous prickle on my skin. Also Hardin's steady assuring grip around me is comforting enough too.
The interior is as attractive as the exterior. The lighting is low as I expected according to the normal idea I had of a casino. A low orange and red dim light over the dark interior..
It's entirely on the top floor but it isn't open like the one Christian has in Seattle . This the comfortable temperature despite the time of the year.
The music matches the setting. I don't recognise it. But the deep base thumping immediately affects the mood.
When my eyes travel to the direction I am surprised. The Casino is two leveled. From where I am standing because thankfully Hardin stops letting me take in the area I see we are on the upper level.
The entire upper level is on shaded glass flooring...so you can practically see a hazy view of the lower level if you look down.
Doing a quick scan I also see it is only one third of the lower level. So the stage where the DJ is set is completely open to both floors.
Like normal I am gawking when Hardin squeezes my side grabbing my attention. " This is a Private floor... The ground floor has a separate entry which we just avoided.." He effortlessly explains my curiosity, without even me having to ask.
I nod looking up at him...
A sweet smile is what I receive even through the dim lit place.... The dark red glow illuminates his face in the most gorgeous way. It matches his demeanor. Dark, mysterious but tempting.
I am distracted when a random person greets him and passes by.
It's now that I notice people looking at us. Him to be more exact... but also me... It's not plain looking... It's staring. Gawking...
My eyes rounds the area once more, this time catching people's stares and I realise it's not just a few. It's everyone... all are staring... some blatantly, some giving the side eye.
My neck prickles on the spot. I take two sideway steps closer to him. Forcibly I pull his hands off my waist and step back.
It doesn't skip my eyes while rounding, when a woman jabs another pointing at us and she starts whispering, covering her mouth with the back of her hand..
The urge to hide takes over. The complex of being small and unfitting among the high society people crashes in.
Before I know it I am lacing my hands around his arms and pushing my entire body behind him to hide.
Hardin rubs my hands over his biceps. I am not looking at him but I can feel his eyes on me. I can feel his warm breath over my forehead when he speaks, " Come, you seriously need something to drink... you look pale... m " Hardin says and starts guiding me towards the huge bar in front .... " It 8:30 already...Did you eat anything before coming ?"
" I had soup..." I mumble...
He hums appreciatively before halting in front of the bar.
" Mr. Scott..." the Bartender greets us..." Good evening sir.."
Hardin surprisingly nods with a smile unlike the rude way he greets everyone.
Still letting me remain laced around his arm, he caresses my fingers on them, " Theresa this is Masen.."
I nod offering a nervous smile because now I feel people from the down floor are craning their neck up, pointing at us. We are visible to them by being too close to the railing.
"Masen this is Theresa Young, my gi-.... date..." Hardin's correction snaps my attention back at him. Somehow it doesn't sit right with me. Well I know I am making him repent and understand his mistakes but that doesn't mean that I would not want him to call me, his Girlfriend. I have been practically missing in for three years. I am missing is especially right now.
"It's my pleasure, my lady.." He bows a little like everybody around Hardin does.
Hardin looks down at me, " Theresa.. " I look up and immediately get captured by his eyes... "Anything you want to eat, or drink, without me by your side, ask him. Only him."
My eyes widens a little.
Because for the first time in so long it's isn't a polite request from him . It's rather a command in the actual Hardin voice. Regal and authoritative. Where you don't argue. You just listen.
To smack me, with surprise I realise, I missed his, this particular voice. I missed him ordering me around. I missed this affirm face of his. I missed him taking charge of a particular situation and making it easy for me.
I nod just simply like that, at his eyes.
But then I get through this demand . I decipher why?
It's my track record of falling prey to spiked drinks.
My heart flutters in haste from bitter-sweet memories. Like I said he takes a situation from me and makes it simple, without me having to stress much. He might assume and be dumb but he has a deep thoughtful side I can never deny about.
"What can I get you this evening sir." Masen asks making me blink.
" Wine, Champagne?" Hardin asks this time. His face softening immediately.
I nod again wordlessly. My mind drifting back to the attention I feel from all the side.
I really don't mind what drink , if it can calm down my nerves right now.
"Get her light one Masen
. "
" Sir...." He nods "For you??"
" Get me a fag... " He shrugs...
I look up at him again after peeking down. Taking in his expression. I am a little startled at him not ordering a drink... Also I know he calls his cigeratte, fags. But my question is, What happened to his whiskey and soda regulars?
Sensing my bulging eyes on him he looks at me. From what I see in there I guess it is a little guilt.
" Don't look at me like that... I am trying to reduce... But I need one now... I need something to tollerate the socialising I will have to do for the next few hours..."
I blink with a little pride... my inside soothing at his words.
Also I want to tease him a little about his childlike irritation over socialising but I defer from it. I rather ask the actual query I have.
" No I mean, You are not drinking...?? "
He stares at me. His pupil darkening.
He has some serious problem with my curl resting beside my neck because he pushes them away again making my shoulders clean of the tendrils.
The only problem, everytime his finger touches. But it burns.
" With you around? On New years? Where I may or may not be able to keep my eyes on you full time?" He shakes his head. " No love... I would rather not... I need my senses to full capacity..." He explains as understanding gradually dawns up on me.
The root of his fear isn't that invalid but I have learnt my lesson... I am not repeating my stupidity.
" It's Christian place. I am consumimg only what Masen is giving.. " I say while Masen actually passes me the drink... untangling myself from his arms I grab the glass..." I will be fine... you can have one, if you want... " I suggest while taking a sips..
It's cool, sweet and delicious.. It's a little pink something. But I have no idea about the name...
He shakes his head..." It's Christian's place, but there will be people... I might have to leave your side for a moment even if I don't want to... " Bringing the stick to his lip he lights it up. He pulls but blows it away turning his face from me.. " I don't want risk..."
The ways his skin around his throat stretches makes me almost choke on my drink. I somehow swallow it without spitting. It definitely doesn't quench my thirst for him but it soothes my dry throat a little...
Also his thoughtful gestures keep piling up, starting a butterfly battle in my belly... and its honestly incredible to feel all this after so long.
I don't argue anymore though. I know better than anyone else to argue to his commandimg voice. He leaves no space when he wants to be like that.
Also it's fine... he knows this place better. If he thinks him not drinking is better today. Then well, so be it. But until then I am enjoying this safe glass of pink drink....
" Oh my goddddd…. Tessaaaa.. " Kimberley's screech manages to reach me over the fair loud music making the drink almost slip out of my grip.
Hardin's forever quick reflexes saves the day. With the stick stuck between his lip he grabs my glass and me, making me steady.
When I look at her voice's direction after recovering, I see her almost running towards me as fast as possible with those sky high heels.
Besides her heels the first thing I notice is that she is looking beyond beautiful in a knee length turquoise blue dress… The closer she steps, it's satin I realise… Years of being in a family of these gorgeous people she look nothing like a casual American. She looks one of these Brit aristocrats.
Her position is visible in her presence.
Knowing how she normally throws herself at me I place the glass on the counter a second before she does so in reality. I watch Hardin steps back immediately from over Kim's shoulder. She squeezes me in her regular welcome before pulling back herself to scan me..
" God you look crazy gorgeous…" she exclaims with wide shining eyes, making me giggle.
She turns back to Hardin, " You didn't even get to us… Having fun showing her off already, huh?!!" she asks him out of nowhere, daring Hardin to deny.
I am almost turning beet red when Kimberley's face suddenly turns into a grimace. She ferociously rips the cigarette off his mouth and smashes it on the counter.
My eyes widen at her audacious action, more so because Hardin just clicks his tongue.
" This is disrespectful Scott!!" she scolds, glaring.
He does nothing but rolls his eyes then pouts…" Just one Kim…" He sighs.
" Theresa doesn't need you to fill her with passive smoking…" she almost looks ready to scratch his face, staring at him disappointedly.
" Ok.. Ok.. Kay.. Sorry" He quickly apologises, throwing his hand up in surrender.
In an amusing way she turns back at me with a smiling face.
" Anyways.. You look so pretty Tessa... "
" You too…. Kim, lord you look so young…" It's true though … scanning her up and down I realise she looks fresh and young.
" Yeah, I feel young and pretty. It's rare to have night outs like these, since Rose. So I take extra effort to look not like that little devil spawn isn't wearing me off… "
I laugh it off. Rose is ofcourse a good child. But it's true she can wear you off. She is a ball of fire in the body of a two and a half year old.
" Where is Christian? " Hardin casually asks, interrupting us.
Kim looks at him, then back at me.
" He is at the last booth talking with an Australian associate he invited…" She points towards the other direction.
I know the reason of awkwardness lingering on Kim's face immediately… Hardin thankfully doesn't catch on to that.
Christian has almost deliberately avoided me since he said those to me the day after Christmas. Also I have been too worried to pay heed but now that it's mentioned I doubt how he will react upon seeing me.
Hardin leaves to get Christian oblivious to the whole ordeal. While I take my drink and follow Kim to a booth and settle there comfortably on the plush leather seats...
My annoyance from earlier this evening rages back when I catch a woman in front of us, that doesn't even bother our presence. Instead she ducks her head up and down to keep her sight fixed on Hardin. Clearly.
And the way she looks, licking her nude mattified lip, while running her sharp nails over the rim of her glass sends pangs of irritation straight to my heart.
I don't like it..
I don't like it at all because I know that look of need. I know the lustful stare. That dreamy gleam similar to those I had an encounter with while getting ready.
She stops though… She stops only when Kimberly blatantly introduces me as Hardin's Girlfriend there.
I am relieved, but God!! The nasty, disgusted look she sends my way is disrespectful.
But anyway it makes her leave, so I could care least.
" Get used to it… He is the in-demand bachelor… but he isn't interested them.." Kim scoffs once she leaves.
I nod.
Honestly I am actually used to it. It has been like this since college. But just not to this extent. Not where my competition was hot European women. And clearly I forgot how disheartening it felt.
It just stamps on my complex making it sink lower.
Me and Kim are discussing women drooling over Christian too, much to her annoyance when a waitress comes and leans down to her ears and whispers something.
Kim immediately gulps, her eyes widening. She looks at the waitress with raised eyebrows as if silently making sure she heard right.
The waitress apologetically nods with a tight lipped smile.
Kim suddenly looks nervous, and in turn it makes me nervous too … Normally Kim is very relaxed, bit right she is turning fidgety.
She turns towards me while the woman waits…
" There is a guest… I really need to meet… Will you be fine by yourself for a few?? I.. Really…. Need to_"
" Kim it's okay… " I assure, cutting her off. " I will be fine…"
She offers me a relief smile immidiately… "Thanks… I will be back…"
Standing up she turns towards the Bars, " Masen.. Refill.. " She orders loudly, gathering a little attention and I notice the my glass is almost empty…
Post that she saunters off in a hurry along with the waitress.
I sit at the booth for five minute maximum before I start getting annoyed at the attention from random women passing by deliberately to get a look. Just five minute at that and I am irritated.
I am really not gettimg everyone's need to look at me like that...
I mean, what's the offence in coming in as Hardin's Date?
I get up and walk till the bar. I take a seat closest to the railing where the DJ is better visible. Masen refills my glass with a smile, also passing me a glass of water without me having to ask.
I am peacefully sipping my drink and looking down at people playing and gambling money like dirt when a voice calls me… " Tessa? Where is Kim? "
I look up at Christian's face. He looks as if,seriously shocked finding me alone. " She left you alone?" He confirms, scanning my radius.
" Um... I am fine... Kim had some really important guests to attend… She left in a hurry" I inform politely.
Christian immerses deep in thought and blinks a few times, processing the information.
"Okayh… " He mumbles. But then as if he suddenly remembers something he settles on a chair beside me.
" Well… Can I talk to you?" He asks, his expression turning nervous similar to Hardins.
"Um… Yeah…" I apprehensively agree, remembering how angry he got, last day.
He simply orders a whiskey and soda from Masen like Hardin does.. He sips once before turning to continue.. " The missus said that my behaviour that day was totally like a prick. It earned me sleeping in the guest room…." He chuckles, mirth less.
What? Kim made him sleep away?
Holy Fuck… I had no clue she could be that ruthless..
"Annnnd thinking it over, I realised I was rude." He acknowledges looking guilty.
My stomach clenches.
And Christian straight out declaring he was rude?
No nonsense, no dragging, just straight to the point confession?
It's stuns me.
" I am sorry Tessa. I was out of line disrespecting your struggles." He shakes his head, " But I was just so worried about his trip to Arles. Over that it was a conscious decision from his side to go network less. I couldn't keep direct contact. I was shittttting brick. I hope you can understand where I came from and accept my apology." He rambles… apolosing again.
His honesty and worry for Hardin are palpable… The paranoia is clear on his face. Readable.
" It's Ok… " I affirm him this time. Because keeping mine and Hardin's problem apart,I now understand the reason for Christian's outburst that day.
" I understand… I was worried too. I have been until I saw him last night…" I answer him honestly….
Christian lets out a relieved breath, " Thanks.. I wanted to apologise sooner but like you said until last night I was so worried… I couldn't put my mind into anything else. Since Rose's birth, he forcibly keeps me away from this stuff… It's annoying… he wouldn't let me get involved… "
I sit there wordlessly because, what do I even say?
That I know how Hardin takes it upon himself, everything…? From guarding me, to making plans, to keeping Christian away. He takes the stress himself… And It's not always nice…
That I know how helpless I exactly felt these five days knowing he was away putting himself at risk?
I sit there just staring blankly because I know. I can match up to the worry Christian is describing.
"Tessa…" Christmas forces back my attention a few moments later to him, " I know he has made mistakes… I know everyone thinks he is dumb and stuff, but trust me he has suffered too..." He leans a tad closer to emphasise his statement. " Look, I am not advocating for him… But just know that whatever he did was to protect you...It has always been the sole purpose…"
Maybe the alcohol streaming in my vein does it, but suddenly a few visions from the past flames me up… Just the fact that he is implying that everything Hardin did was to protect me, irks me. " Leaving me after seeing me at the hospital was to protect me? " I almost snapback at him..
He straightens, gulping and nodding.
" Yes that was dumb I agree.But he was angry that you made that decision so fast. But latee_"
"What are you guys conspiring about so seriously?"
Mine and Christians eyes simultaneously widen when Hardin's ascending voice startles us. We both look at him approaching us walking quickly with a curious face.
I look back at Christian..
I know Hardin doesn't know what happened between me and Christian. He has no idea about the spat. I know he would be mad at Christian if he knew. And honestly I don't want to start a ruckus right now.
The day post Christmas is water under the bridge…
"Nothing…. Just the fact I am keeping rose with me. He thinks I am doing hypnotherapy on her making her my disciple."
The stress clouding over Hardin's face melts just like that. His face breaks into a smile at the mention of Rose…
Also Christian looks a little taken aback by my immidiate change of topic.. I guess he didn't expect me to cover up for him...
" Well Rose is my sister… you have full Carte Blanche to keep her. Christian can't say shit…" Hardin says somehow managing to stick himself to my side and in turn Christian rolls his eyes.
Kimberly returns a few minutes later. Though she comes back looking a little distracted, soon when she sees me and Christian talking normally like civil human beings, she relaxes and makes herself comfortable in her Husband's hold.
The rest of the evening starts rolling normally after that… Hardin introduces me to random Business associates, common friends - which I realise, he has a lot less because of the kind of work he does. It's almost absent.
It gets clearer that he is really only close to Kim and Christian here. They are his friends, family and more
Everything around here other than that is just money and power and basic socialising for the sake of stature.
People keep politely greeting him because of who he is. He in turn nods at them. Only if it is someone important he strikes a decent conversation, that too about work , while keeping his grip on my waist steady.
Also in a sweet gesture he keeps ruffling my sleeves every now and then.
Later we sit back at the booth listening to some British Band playing on the stage. We get served the best dishes I have probably come across in my entire life.
By almost an hour to midnight I am tipsy, full and angry..
Yes angry!!
Three women have shamelessly tried to take a seat beside Hardin because of the broad couches we are sitting on.
" Oh… Mr. Scott… I am honooorreddd to meet you…"
" Oh Mr. Scott… Are you doing that deal with my father?"
" Oh Mr. Scott finally, a pleasure to meet you ...."
The worst part? Even though I was sitting by Hardin, they entirely chose to ignore me. They just leaned down trying to suggestively spill their boobs on his face…
I agree Hardin did not spare them a glance but just the fact that they were hot and they chose to act, I wasn't present, has made me annoyed..
Maybe it's alcohol and desert together, but suddenly everything feels light. My heels don't hurt as I sink deeper into the couch.. I am angry over the women but my face has a grin because Hardin keeps playing with my Hair. His touch on my body distracts me way too much from the three women.
In fact his touch on my bare skin is so welcome that I don't care if Kim and Christian are not exactly sitting in the same booth. They are there somewhere, probably socialising…
His touch..
Yeah…. God!!! His rough fingers that twists the accelerator of his bike with ferocity, His fingers that run down on the gun with lithe. His finger curling into a fist when he is frustrated…
Those same fingers touching me, makes me burn… suddenly I feel, I realise I missed these fingers so much…
I missed him so much…
I did…
I missed this warmth so much that out of nowhere I feel thirsty…
Looking up at him I see him smoothly talking about…about petrol… I feel perched at the way his lips move. His veiny throat…
And I am confused… half my body feels dry… half feels wet…
My skin feels on fire…
His Touch some soothing ice…
God…. This…. Touch…
" Hardin… I need a d… drink…" I realise I have murmured…
He looks down at me.. Even that gesture of his burns… the red low light falling on his pale stark feature makes him look fatally hot…
" Again? Theresa…" God can it stop burning everywhere? Even him uttering my actual name in his low husky voice burns.
Not to deny him or anything but a whine slips of me. I hate how apologetic he looks immediately. He doesn't…doesn't realise it but he turns softer in his approach right then… " I think you shouldn't anymore please… Can I get you water love??" He requests.
Love… I will never get tired of the butterflies that swarms my body when he calls me that…
I nod agreeing to his sweet request.
He burns me yet again, after kissing my temple and getting up.
My eyes follow him as he walks. His fit physique smoothly slithers through to reach the Bar.
I cannot listen but from a distance I watch him instruct Maden… or Manson.. Whatever his name!!
Getting me a glass he turns when he is stopped by a woman..
Not again..!!
The haze I feel I was in, clears a tad as I straighten up. I need to watch these women trying to gain the attention of my man… Drool on him....
My man… Can they just stop throwing themselves at my man?
I am here… As his date…
Like a true seductress her fingers slide down his arm. And it acts like gasoline on the shimmering fire in my body…
My jaws tighten…
From the continuous moving lights it gets hard to focus on Hardin's face… But her face I can see holding a sultry smile.
Everything burns and it is not the burns which Hardin can soothe. It's the wildfire of anger I feel when I see her cling and whisper something in her ear…
The need to chew her raw comes crashing like a battalion.
But then the anger turns to hurt and spearing pain.
He hands her the glass of water…
My glass of water.
He gives away…
So easily…
Of course it is easy…
She is beautiful… and beside Hardin she looks perfect..
She fits in…
Pain… And rage stings my eyes…
All I feel is the need to leave so that I don't have to endure this.
I know the options he has are better but that doesn't mean I have to tolerate that. Doesn't mean that realisation has to feel good.
I will leave..
I donot want know while I was wallowing in pain for years, he was having so much better options.
I stand up in Haste like the leather trying to bite me.
I try and probably blink to focus because I need to get out of here.
I need to get out of here before any more women can try and prove Hardin has better options.
I need to…
I grab my phone… And stumbling I head straight to the door pushing past everyone.
I just need to get out of here...
___________________________________
I will come back when I have seen the gym scene atleast 16282010262 times.
Until then,
Take love, ND