"NOOOO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
"C'mon Gaspie, garlic is good for you."
Y/N watched as Koneko chased Gasper with a few cloves of garlic.
"Vampire's really are allergic to garlic? That's lame."
Originally, the plan was to help Gasper man up and face his fears head on. Then the rest of the ORC wanted to help. Rias, Akeno and Kiba weren't there though. Some shit about Kiba's balance breaker.
"Oi! Garlic ain't exactly helping right now. Quit it."
Koneko reluctantly threw away the garlic.
"Earth-chan! I see you over there! Put the damn sword down! Fucking hell, it's like herding a bunch of toddlers."
Xenovia put the sword down and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. Gasper on the other hand, decided to pull a Solid Snake.
"Gasper, get out of the box."
"No! They're so scary!"
"Get out before I chuck the box into the sun with you still in it!"
"NOOOO!"
Issei grabbed Y/N's shoulder."Look man, I think we're taking this too fast. First we have get her comfortable."
"And how the hell do we do that!?"
Everyone who was present stared down, lost in thought.
"..."
"Fuck!" They had no clue what to do.
Issei looked down at his arm.
"Hey, Partner? Do you have any ideas?"
After a bit of silence, Draig spoke up.
(Perhaps getting to know him better would be helpful.)
"Ugh... him?"
"What the hell Draig!?"
(Ugh! My bad! I meant her!)
"Phew! He almost ruined it" Y/N sighed.
Y/N picked up Gasper's box before turning back to the ORC.
"Alright. You guys will probably only make things difficult, so I'm doing this alone. Later!"
"Um... should we stop him?" Issei sweatdropped.
"Nah, he'll be fine."
////
"Oi! Y/N! What's up man!"
"Hmm? Oh, Ryudo. It's you."
Standing infront of Y/N was none other than the closet pervert, Ryudo Hamazaki, captain of the Martial Arts Club. Y/N leveled a deadpanned look at guy.
"Come on man... you're still holding that against me?"
"Damn right."
Ryudo sighed, before noticing the box Y/N was carrying.
"Huh? What's in the box?"
"A femboy."
"Huh!?"
Ryudo gasped as the box rattled around.
"T-tell him to go away!"
"No! Get out here and say hello!"
Y/N dropped the box on the ground.
"D-dude!? What the hell are you carrying somebody around for!?"
"I'm trying to help him break out of his shell. Dude's more antisocial than a typical idol fan."
"L/N-san! Heeey!" The voice of Hase reached the ears of the boiz.
"Paisen? Good to see you."
"Wha! She gets treated nicely!?" Ryudo asked incredulously.
"Hmm? What's in the box?"
"Gasper. Get out of there!"
"NO!"
"Um... why is she in there?"
"It's a he, and let me get back to you on that."
Y/N felt a tug on his sleeve. Looking down he saw Yui standing there.
"Hey kid. Before you ask what's in the box, let's wait to see if anyone else shows up."
"Ah, L/N-san. I assume Gasper is hiding in the box." Sona walked up to the group.
"Correct. I was trying to help him break out of his shell."
The four thought back to the things Y/N has done for them.
"Hey bro, if you need a hand, I'm free!"
"Right! I still owe you for your help with Matsuda."
"There has been far less complaints about you recently. I guess I can lend you a hand."
Yui nodded her head in determination.
"Y'hear that Gasper? These guys are gonna be your friends."
"Ugh... hooraaaay..." Gasper said dejectedly.
"Let's go grab lunch! I'm paying!" Ryudo exclaimed.
//Diner//
"Wow, Diner! We're eating like kings tonight! Or maybe a wealthy janitor."
"Oi! Don't complain about a free meal."
"Fine. I-"
"Oh, my mom's calling. I'll be back. Just gotta take this." Y/N got up and headed outside to take this phone call.
Hold on, Y/N has parents?
Yeah. They live in the heart of Tokyo.
Huh. Neat.
Anyways Gasper listened to the people around him interact with eachother from within his box.
"Um... what do you guys think of Y/N?"
They all turned their attention to the box.
"I-Issei says he's an asshole, but you all seem to really like him."
"Not really. I'm just here to thank him for helping out with students problems." Sona answered. "He is a bit of a jerk."
"Tch! You're just too uptight! Look man, Y/N's a bro. If you ever need something done, he's the man."
"Uhuh! Y/N helped out with the Martial Arts Club, and he helped me get a boyfriend. He may be a bit mean, but I think that's his way of showing he cares!"
Yui scribbled something on a napkin before sliding it into the box.
Gasper used his phone flashlight and read the note.
"Y/N is like a brother to me. He walks me to school and makes sure I'm okay. He's a nice person."
"K I'm back! You guys order anything yet?"
"No, we were waiting you bro."
////
"Well Gasper? What did you think of them?"
"T-they seemed nice. Um... Y/N?"
"Hmm? What's up?"
"They said you helped them with different things... why?"
"Why not?"
"I'm being serious here!"
"Fine! I get dragged into shit really often. It's kind of a habit to help out whenever I'm put in a situation like that. Honestly though I'd rather just help people become more independent."
"Like with me?"
"Yeah. Say, why are you so shy anyway?"
"W-well... Vampire's aren't exactly welcoming to half-breeds like me."
"Ah. Naruhodo."
Y/N kept walking while carrying Gasper's box.
"Welp. I'm gonna drop you off back at the ORC. We'll pick back up tomorrow."
"...Alright."
//The Next Day//
Yui made some gestures at Y/N.
"Hmm? The box boy? You mean Gasper?" Yui nods.
"You want to hang out with him? Really?" Another nod.
"Alright. I'll ask but I doubt he'll be up for it."
//Meanwhile//
Issei was currently wandering the halls of the school.
"Tch. Damn Matsuda. Think your too good to perv with me now that you got a girl?"
As Issei cursed his old friend his attention was quickly stolen by a poster hanging on the wall.
"Learn to pick up Shawties with the help of reformed perv, Matsuda."
"...You have got to be fucking kidding me."
Issei sighed. Might as well check it out after school.
////
"So... Ya want to be a baller like this man? Y'all came to right place!" Matsuda tried hyping up those that attended.
Issei along with Motohama glared at their former buddy. To their right, stood Saji, a bored look on his face. Finally, there was Ryudo, who only showed up because Hase asked him too.
Matsuda sweatdropped at the silence before coughing into his hand.
"Anyways. First, we gotta see yo' technique." Hase then appeared next to him. "Practice on my girl. Just flirt the way you normally do, and I'll tell you why you're wrong."
"This man is just rubbing it in!"
Motohama was the first to cone forward. He took a nervous breath, before focusing and pushing up his glasses. Equations flew through his mind as he analyzed the dimensions of Hase's figure. With a swift motion, he pointed like Jotaro.
"You're measurements are 50-35-45! You're body is above average, but not as attractive as Kuoh's Great Ladies!"
Everyone looked at him like he was stupid, which he was.
"Brotha. That ain't how you talk to a woman."
Motohama's Jojo pose faltered as he looked down.
"Right. My apologies Senpai."
"Yo Issei! Your up next!"
Issei prepared himself. He had plenty of practice with Asia and knew he was ready for this.
"...Nice weather huh?"
And he immediately choked.
Matsuda face palmed before turning towards Saji.
"Genshirou. You seem like a classy guy. Show these boys how it's done!"
Saji nodded and before anyone knew what happened, he and Hase were both sat at a round table with cups of tea.
"I hope you enjoy the tea Milady. I've made it just for you."
"Um... I'm actually not a fan of tea."
CRACK!
"O-oh... I see."
Matsuda shook his head in disappointment. By now, a group of students stopped to watch the shitshow.
"All three of ya can't flirt worth a damn!"
"Hey, what about me?" Ryudo piped up.
"Fine! You go!"
Ryudo approached Hase.
"For the record, this is how I would flirt with a stranger, right?"
"Yeah."
Ryudo took a deep breath.
Everyone gawked at Ryudo. Just when you think it can't get any worse, he opens his mouth again.
"Dawg."
With his monologue finished, Ryudo turns around and walks off towards the MAC clubroom with a confident stride.
Y/N watched the thing with Gasper, whom Y/N had put a paper bag on. "See that Gasper? Absolutely based. Man really told everyone his kink, refused to elaborate further, then left."
"Is that really cool?
"Tbh? No. But that man knows what he wants in life, and I can respect that."
Gasper gave Y/N a puzzled look from behind his bag mask, but otherwise ignored it.
"Anyway, what were you saying about that girl?"
"Oh, right. She wants to hang with you. You down?"
"Um... sure I guess."
"Coolies. Let's go pick her up."
Y/N and Gasper took a stroll towards Yui's elementary school.
////
A man in his late 40's breathed heavily.
"My sweet Yui... she's an angel~"
The man stalked towards the young girl, who was completely unaware of the creep.
Grip!
"Excuse me pal, did you know you were stalking a 12 year old?"
"ACK!" The man jumped back in horror, before falling on his ass. He looked up and saw the threatening form of Y/N standing over him.
Y/N smirked and cracked his knuckles.
"Let me tell one of my favourite pastimes. Sometimes, I like to take my favourite baseball bat and head down to local police station and ask the guards if I can beat the shit out of any of the pedophiles there."
"W-wait! You've got the wrong idea!"
"Oh I'm sure I do!" A tug on Y/N's sleeve. "Yui, I'm a bit busy right now. What is it?"
Yui walked next to man and started gesturing wildly before crouching down and hugging him.
"...He's your...dad?" Y/N raised an eyebrow.
//Fujita Residence//
"I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding." Ayaka bowed.
Y/N was once again sat in the Fujita's living room. Yui had dragged Gasper up to her room, and he could hear the faint sound of a guitar.
Y/N stared at the man. His hairline had receded to the point that he may as well shave off the rest of it, and he wore a fancy suit. He also bared nearly no resemblance to Yui.
TAKEDA "OJI-SAN" FUJITA
"My name is Takeda and I just got back from a business trip this morning and thought I would surprise Yui by picking her up from school. Now, who might you be?"
"I'm-"
"Oh Takeda! This is the boy I was telling you about! The one that protected our darling Yui!" Ayaka cut off Y/N.
"Ah! That was you! I'll be honest, I expected you to look like some wannabe yakuza."
Y/N blinked owlishly. "My casual outfit does look like something a yakuza would wear."
"Oh, I really can't thank you enough for protecting my daughter. If you ever need anything, anything at all, just ask."
"Look, Mr.Fujita I already told your wife that I don't want anything."
"Nonsense! My pride won't allow you to leave empty handed! At the very least let me treat you to dinner sometime."
Ayaka chuckled at her husband's insistence. "This is why I let you leave last time. My darling Takeda is as stubborn as they come!"
"Ugh...Fine." Y/N relented, before looking at the clock. "Geez, 8 already? Gasper and I gotta go."
"Oop! It's that late already! Sorry for keeping you so long dear." Ayaka apologized.
"Enough with the apologies." Y/N groaned while walking up the stairs.
////
"Woah. That was really pretty!"
Yui gripped her guitar and bowed, thankful for the compliment.
"I've never really listened to anything other than classical music or anime openings, so I don't have much to compare it too, but your song was beautiful."
Yui tilted her head quizzically.
Gasper frowned. Sure, he had kinda made a friend, but it doesn't mean much if he can't properly communicate with them.
Yui pulled out a small notepad and pencil before flipping through the pages. Gasper caught glimpses of different questions and responses written on the notes. Yui scribbled another question on her notepad before showing it to Gasper.
'You like classical?'
Considering the confused look on her face, Gasper figured classical music wasn't as good as he thought.
"Well... It's alright."
Yui flipped over to a prewritten response.
'You're wrong.'
Outside the room, Y/N raised his foot.
"The fuck are you on Norman? I'm not wrecking their house."
O-oh. Um. Y/N opened the door like a regular person?
"That's synonymous with busting through doors."
He turned the knob! Are you happy now!?
"It'll do. Oi, Gasper, we gotta head out."
"Ah, okay!" Gasper got up from where he was sitting and bowed. "I had alot of fun. Bye!"
Yui watched her new friend leave with a small smile.
//The Next Day//Random House//
"*Womanly groans*"
Dude for real?
What? It's a dxd book and we're long overdue in the fanservice department. Did you expect anything less?
I had no expectations, because I have no idea what this show is. I had an important meeting and got fired because you dragged me into this.
And I apologize for that.
Thank you.
Thud!
"Ow..."
The woman had fallen out of her bed rather gracefully. She slowly pulled herself to her feet.
"Geez. Living amongst humans is terrible. Why'd I take that bet?"
She walked over to her mirror before stretching, moaning softly. She opened her eyes.
"Damn I'm hot."
APHRODITE
"WEAPONIZED THIRST"
"I can see why I'm called the most beautiful Goddess, if I was a man I would, as the humans say, plow my brains out."
Aphrodite posed and admired herself for a few minutes before she remembered something.
"Doh... I wanted to admire myself some more. I suppose the admiration of a school of students will have to do."
//Lunch//
Y/N had been dragged by Ophis to a table with her friends. Y/N looked around at the other nervous boyfriends that were dragged along.
"First time?"
A paper bag walked up to Y/N.
"Oh hey kid. What's up."
"My classmate is hot and I don't know what to do about it."
"Must be that Goddess that showed up yesterday. What is with this town attracting the strangest people?" Y/N sighed before looking at Gasper. "If she tries to fuck you, use a condom. Xenovia has a few on her, just ask for one."
Ophis promptly chopped the back of his head. "Do not, give him ideas."
"What are you his mom? Pretty sure that job belongs to Rias."
"JIIIIIIIIII"
"Ugh, fine. Don't get laid Gasper. Because somebody doesn't think you losing your virginity before issei is funny!"
"I, never said that."
"You two don't understand. She's all I can think about."
"Buddy. That just makes you a beta cuck."
"You, are not helping."
"Excuse me for being honest. Hey, is it just me, or did the cafeteria get oddly quiet?"
Ophis looked around the table and noticed her friends were gone.
"Where, are they?"
Gasper looked over and saw a crowd near the doors. A desire washed over him, but he shook his head, dismissing those thoughts.
"She's coming."
The trio watched as the students all formed a path for the woman in the previous scene.
"Truly, this is the best decision I've ever made! A school of adoring peers with eyes only for me!"
Y/N pointed at her and turned towards Gasper. "Oi, is that the bitch?"
Aphrodite flinched as she realized someone wasn't under her spell. Then she registered what they had said. "THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME!?"
Y/N removed the finger that was plugging his ear. "Damn. You're voice is more irritating than Cardi B, and she is the world's most annoying person."
Aphrodite was going to retort before a boy stept infront of her. "OI! Where do you get off on picking on Minami-san!?"
"Hah! Right! I have an army of followers to shut this boy up!"
School Story 5: Simpocalypse
Y/N merely looked at who stept forwards. "Ise-chan? Guess I'm not surprised she brainwashed you."
"Brainwashed? What are you talking about?"
Y/N did a double take and narrowed his eyes at Issei. He was unaffected by Aphrodite's horny powers. He was just so desperate he willingly stood up to Y/N.
"Huh. When did you grow a pair?"
"U-um, that's a lot of guys. Do you need help?"
"You able to fight?"
"I've picked up a few things from your street fights."
"Good enough. Don't hurt anybody too bad."
As the two got ready, some students started started blocking of hallways while Aphrodite headed for the roof.
LONG BATTLE
BEGIN
SMACK!
Issei was the first to run into the fray, but was quickly dispatched by a pair of nunchucks slapping him across the face.
"Where does he get these things!?" Issei wondered before falling unconscious.
A tall boy towered over Gasper with a pervy smile, but Gasper raised his leg and delivered and delivered a flurry of kicks to the groin.
Gasper looked over and saw a dude about to attack Y/N from behind. "DUCK!" Gasper shouted while running over.
While Gasper regained his footing, one boy pulled out a pocket knife and ran at him. Gasper ducked under a few slashes before kicking the knife out of his hand and kicking the guy back. He then caught the knife by the blade before reeling back.
However, Gasper was lacking in knife throwing ability and the knife simply bounced off the wall and flew through air again.
"Huh. That went much better in my head."
Y/N saw the knife heading towards him and grinned maniacally. He jumped and kicked the hilt of the knife sending it rocketing towards the knife's owner.
SHING!
The guy looked over at the knife impaled in the wall next to him, before fainting.
"That was awesome!" Gasper watched in amazement.
"I know." Y/N nonchalantly blocked the attack of the final cafeteria student.
"Uhh... we can talk about this!" The boy pleaded
"Sure we can! Here let me introduce you to a friend of mine!" Y/N lead the guy towards the cafeteria doors.
"*sigh* Oh good! Who is it?"
SMASH!
"THE DOOR!"
Y/N and Gasper stepped over the dead door and into the hallway. To the left was a stack of desks and chairs blocking the way and to the right were a bunch of female students, lead by the kendo club.
"Never let men do a woma-"
POW!
"GENDER EQUALITY!"
The leader of the kendo club flew backwards, knocking over most of the girls.
"You, could have let her finish."
"You want to fuck around with them, fine. Me and Gasper are moving forward."
"Yeah!"
The Boiz blitzed past the girls and up the stairs, leaving Ophis with the girls who were getting back up.
"Yo. Need a hand, Scaley?"
Ophis turned to see Koneko walking out of the cafeteria.
"Hmph. I, can handle myself Furball."
"Too bad, I wanted to smack somebody anyway." Koneko grabbed one of the desks effortlessly. "Most knockouts wins?"
"Bet."
And the two started tearing through the female student populace.
//The Boiz//
Y/N threw a guy into the wall before boosting up Gasper to kick him in the face. Using the guys face as a springboard, Gapser delivered a roundhouse on the guy behind Y/N.
The two continued running through the halls and up the stairs. They stopped as they realized a bookshelf was falling down the stairs.
"ZA WARUDO!"
TIME STOP EFFECT
Y/N smashed through the bookshelf before looking at Gasper, who was Jojo posing.
With a smirk Y/N charged at the boys who pushed the bookshelf as him and Gasper yelled simultaneously.
As Gasper resumed time, the boys flew backwards into the wall, coughing up blood.
"Gotta say, you really nailed it there."
"Heh, thanks. I'm a little tired though." Gasper replied through labour breaths.
"Then just hang back, let me handle the bitch."
Gasper just gave a thumbs up and followed Y/N up the steps.
Y/N kicked the door to rooftop open and stood across from Aphrodite, who was being fanned by a few boys while another fed her grap-Wait a minute. Is that Ryudo?
"Oh yeah, it is."
Aphrodite sighed before she looked up at sky. "Pretty soon, my darling followers will bring me everybody that isn't under my control and I can brainwash them. This is the life!"
"Are you sure about that?"
"Aaah!" She jumped out of her chair. "Y-you!? How did you get here! I have guards all throughout the school!"
"Correction: You had guards all throughout the school."
"Hmph! No matter! You just made things easier for me." Aphrodite crossed her arms underneath her chest, accentuating her...ample bosom. "How would you like to be my willing peon?" She traced a line up her body and through her cleavage before giggling. "I'll let you do whatever you want to me~"
Y/N watched with a blank face. "You're telling me I get to do anything?"
"Yes~"
Y/N laughed. "DAGA KOTOWARU!"
"H-huh!?"
"That's a lame offer. Why would anyone want to do anything with you?"
"E-excuse me!? I'm the most beautiful Goddess! Men and women would kill to lay with me!"
"And you are just like every other worthless God. A vain, selfish individual that does nothing but punish their followers!"
Aphrodite recoiled backwards. "This is impossible! Nobody can resist my aura of arousal!"
"I'd gladly rearrange your face for ya."
"Tch! You there!" She points at Ryudo. "Beat his ass!"
"What? But that's my bro!"
"Does it look like I care!?"
Unfortunately for Aphrodite, her spell is nothing compared to the bro code.
"Fuck you then bitch! Think that I'd turn on my brother like that? Y/N. Tell her how good buddies we are."
"I do my utmost to avoid you."
"He loves me."
"Desperately... you're my favourite parasite... No. That's ringworm."
"Very funny."
"No! Wait! First is ringworm, Then it's Issei, and then you."
"*Audible frustration* Fine then! I will deal with you myself!"
Y/N raised an eyebrow. "What are you gonna do, write me a love letter?"
Everyone stared at eachother in silence.
"FUCK! I can't do anything to him! How the hell am I Goddess!?"
"You have nothing do you? Talk about anti-climactic."
"Hey, bro. Want to go grab lunch?"
"As long as you're paying."
The Boiz then left a neglected Aphrodite (Who disliked being ignored) to go grab lunch at Diner.
"Wait we're going to Diner again!?"
"It's free food. Stop complaining."
//The girls//
"I won."
"Wrong. I, beat 52"
"51. She was still conscious."
Talk about a catfight, amirite!
Dude. You can't make fun of my puns after that.
S-sorry boss.
////
Holy shit this was torture writing. How some people write 8000+ word chapters I will never understand.
Anyway, the book recently hi-
"Recently!? The hell d'ya mean recently!?"
Hello Y/N, nice of you to join us.
"Oi! Readers! You guys are some freaks ya know that!?"
He means to thank you for 100k reads. Seriously thank you guys.
As a form of celebration, this ending segment will be filled with ideas I have about (my take on) each character that don't matter to the overall plot.
"Just call it a headcanon dumbass."
Sounds like somebody wants The Clock.
"..."
That's better.
Y/N
Fashion disaster.
Family owns a door manufacturing company.
Anarchist.
Likes suits, but hates formal events.
Childish.
Fan of sweets.
Had many pet snakes. When they passed, he had them fashioned into a jacket because he's a psycho.
Has an ouroboros tattoo.
The leader of The Boiz.
Ophis
Can sing opera.
Her speech pattern is only for when dealing with Y/N or the supernatural. Otherwise, she goes full on valley girl.
Tries to hide the valley girl from Y/N.
Only enjoys donuts of the jelly filled variety.
Has a soft spot for Koneko.
Into that kinky shit.
Can change genders.
Yui
Wants to become a guitarist.
Owns a cat named Loki. Loki is a female.
Carries a picture of her family around with her.
Issei
Trains in his off time.
Practices flirting on Asia. This is just an excuse to flirt with Asia.
Believes Gasper is female.
Koneko
Sass master.
Favourite sweet is chocolate.
Trains her senjutsu in Y/N's backyard.
Not into that kinky shit.
Xenovia
Absolutely loves that kinky shit.
Her hair is apparently natural.
Ophis makes her sleep on the floor. She's into it.
Ophis's bitch.
Big M.
Psycho.
Rias
Childish.
Motherly to Koneko and Gasper.
Planning on overthrowing the tyrannical rule of Y/N.
Hates relying on Y/N.
Trying to control her PoD.
Kiba
One third of The Boiz
Certified bro.
Hates his fanclub.
Gasper
One third of The Boiz.
Still sort of shy.
Gamer.
Jojo fan.
Currently watching Battle Tendency.
Ryudo
Honorary member of The Boiz.
Akeno
I almost forgot she existed.
Also into kinky shit.
Slight Yandere.
Asia
Enjoys her time with Issei.
Somehow as strong as Koneko.
Keeps making plans to ask Issei out, before deciding against it.
Thats all folks.
"For the record, I did not want Ryudo to become a Boi."
I only wrote stuff for the main cast and original characters that I liked. So far I only like Ryudo.
Anyways, thanks once again for reading and next time you meet Y/N's parents.
"Oh joy. I cannot imagine anything more exciting. I'm shaking with excitement."