Steve and Bre had spent every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday together since they met. It was hard to be apart Monday through Thursday, but because of their schedules not coinciding, it didn't really work for them to see each other. Even if they lived together, they would only see each other before bedtime. And, Steve told himself, he would never do that before marriage again. They did text multiple times every day, and he called her on his way home from work before she went to bed.
They had talked so much about every facet of each other's histories, interests, and dreams for the future, that Steve felt he knew her better after a month than he had known Paige after three years.
Steve called Bre on his way home from work on Thursday, as normal.
"Hello, my darling", she greeted him. He could literally feel her warmth and positivity spreading to him through the phone. God, he adored this woman.
"Hey, hun", he said. "How was your day?"
"It was pretty good. How about you?"
"Well, other than wishing I could see you more, it was fine", he replied. "I'm trying to remain positive about that but it's hard. I miss you".
"I miss you too, but it could be worse. There are plenty of long distance relationships out there. At least we have every weekend, and I'm sure you can request a different shift once you've been there for a while. You do your job well and they will notice".
Steve chuckled. "How do you know I do my job well?"
"Because I know you, I know your character, and I've seen the work you've done on your house. You give everything your best".
"You make me sound really good", Steve said, slightly embarrassed.
"You're an amazing person and anyone who doesn't see that is an idiot", Bre answered cheerfully.
Steve laughed heartily at that.
"Speaking of your house", Bre started, "I was actually wondering if you wanted to decorate the baby's room with a certain theme, like for a boy or girl...or do you want to stick with a gender neutral?"
"Cripes, Bre, I have no idea about that stuff", Steve said. "What do you think?"
"Do you know if Paige is going to find out the gender?"
"She said yes", he replied. "Do ya know when that happens? I can't remember".
"Twenty weeks", Bre said. "So we wouldn't need to wait much longer. We can either wait to find out or go with gender neutral".
"That's five months? Then we would have four months to get everything?", Steve thought out loud.
"Yep".
"Will you- I mean, are you okay helping me do all this?", Steve asked. "I don't wantcha to feel obligated".
"Steve, I LOVE decorating and shopping for baby stuff. Please! You are making me so happy by letting me help!", she laughed out loud.
"Bre, you're the best. I love you so much", Steve said. "I don't deserve you".
"Yes, you do", she replied confidently. "We deserve each other and we deserve happiness together. Trust me. Trust God".
Steve felt tears spring to his eyes and there was a giant lump in his throat.
"We will have enough time to decorate and get everything we need if we wait until that appointment", Bre assured him.
"Gotcha. Okay. I'll get ahold of her soon then and see if she has it scheduled", Steve promised.
"I definitely want to paint before the baby is born", Bre said. "Their little lungs are so delicate. I don't care if the paint says it's non-toxic, I still wouldn't expose a baby to it. Though, how much will the baby even be here anyway?", Bre asked. "Have you thought about visitation rights?"
"I figured I would stop by and help out as I could after the baby was born. I'm not sure when I would be comfortable takin' the baby on my own. I know nothing".
"I can help, and it is half your child", Bre said. "I want you to think about this some more and see what Paige is thinking. Also, find out if she intends to breast feed, or bottle feed breastmilk, or do formula. Because if she wants to start with only breast, then no, we can't take the baby anywhere. If she wants to pump her milk into bottles, or use formula, we can take them overnight. So, you've got a lot to discuss. Can you maybe take her for lunch over a weekend or something?"
"I need to talk to her about the twenty week appointment, milk, and visitation. Got it. I'll see when she's available. Do ya want to come with? I don't think she's allowed to see me alone so I'm sure Brad will come".
"That's so ridiculous", Bre snapped. "She's not allowed? Are you kidding? I don't think this should be a four person discussion. At least not initially. You two see what you think and don't make a commitment right then. Just see what the other is thinking. Then she can talk to Brad, you can talk to me, and we will go from there".
"I don't know, hun. I don't see Brad trustin' me alone with her".
"Fine. Talk to her over the phone then. Preferably when he's not hanging over her shoulder". Bre sounded annoyed, which didn't happen often.
"Alright, honey. I love you".
"Love you, Steve. Talk to you tomorrow".
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Friday mid-morning I checked my phone and saw a message from Steve.
Can I set up a time to talk to just you? Will Brad let me see you alone? Otherwise phone is ok.
I had no idea what this was about.
I don't think he would be ok with me seeing you alone. I can call you. When's a good time?
Steve replied pretty quickly so he must not have been at work yet.
Bre thinks it's best if you and I can talk first without Brad listening over your shoulder. So you tell me. I can take a break in the afternoon, otherwise I get done at 9p, or anytime over the weekend.
I thought for a moment. Bre was prompting whatever this discussion was. I wasn't sure if that made me feel better or worse about what the topic might be.
I'm going shopping in the city with Kendra tomorrow and can call you after I leave the house but before I pick her up. Is 9am ok?
That's great. Thank you. He replied.
I needed to tell Kendra we were leaving at ten and tell Brad we were leaving at nine, and then I should have enough time to talk with Steve.
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I'm talking to Paige at 9 tomorrow morning over phone, Steve texted Bre. I'll come to your place after.
Steve was so thankful for Bre. Every second of every day. He would be floundering in this situation without her. She was like a rock in the middle of a raging river that he could cling to and keep his head above water. She approached everything with a level head, clear direction, and confidence in a positive outcome. He admired her so much for that. She was brave and assertive, yet she managed to stay gracious and kind while being so. He had no idea how she pulled that balance off, but she did, and she did it naturally.
Sometime around noon, Steve felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. When he had a spare moment, he checked and saw a message from Bre.
Aren't you coming over tonight?, she had replied.
His heart did a little flip. He couldn't get used to her willingly wanting to be with him all the time, after he had spent so much time trying to convince Paige to do so.
Of course, he texted back.
Okay. Just stay over then", was her answer.
He groaned out loud. It was hard to do that. He loved holding her, but he wanted to do more, and he wasn't going to. No way. He had learned his lesson from Paige. Plus, he knew Bre's beliefs were the same as his, and he respected her too much to take her down a road that would make her feel guilty.
Okay. I'll swing past my house first then and grab some things, he replied.
She replied with a red heart.
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I texted Kendra that I'd be over at ten on Saturday. I had scheduled an appointment online for us at one at a bridal shop, and at three at another, but there were other stores we could look at in the area, as well.
When I met Brad outside at the end of the day, I said, "I'm leaving at around nine tomorrow morning, and I don't know when we will get back, so don't wait for me for supper". There. No lie so no blush. He wouldn't suspect a thing.
"Alright, beautiful", he said, smiling and opening the door for me.
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Bre could hardly wait to see Steve. She hadn't seen him since Sunday, even though they talked on the phone daily. When she got home Friday afternoon, she did a quick inventory of groceries, made a plan for meals over the weekend and next week, and then pulled out recipe cards and gathered a list for what she needed at the store. Bre lived on a budget. She was fine financially but only because she managed her money responsibly. Teachers didn't make all that much money in this area but she loved what she did. When she had been with Wes, she didn't feel the pinch of finances, but on her own most of her checks went directly to bills. The bulk of the bills were rent and groceries. So if she wanted to do anything fun or save for something big, she needed to spend less on food. That was the only area she had wiggle room.
Since she had met Steve, the grocery budget had quietly increased. She liked to cook and bake but it wasn't very thrilling to do it for herself alone. Plus, making a recipe for four would get sickening after the third day of leftovers. She had jumped wholeheartedly into making things for Steve, and was rewarded with his compliments and enthusiasm for what she had created. This weekend she wanted to make lasagna. She loved it but always had to freeze three quarters of it when she made it for herself, and by the time she worked through it all, it wasn't as appealing as when it was first made. So she was going to see how Steve responded to her favorite lasagna recipe- created by her aunt and adjusted by herself.
Bre got the grocery shopping done, whipped up a lemon meringue, then did a thorough cleaning of her bathroom, which was where she kept Binx's litter box. She also dusted and vacuumed the rest of the apartment. Then she made herself a light supper and spent some time with Binx while watching TV. Before she knew it, Steve was calling.
"Hey, Bre, I'm headin' home to get some stuff and then I'll be right over", he told her.
"I can't wait!", she exclaimed. "I'll see you soon! Drive safe and watch for deer!"
"Always", he replied. "But if I hit them with this truck, I will be fine".
"The deer wouldn't be fine, though", she replied quickly.
He laughed. "You know I will be huntin' them soon, right?"
"I do. Don't worry, I'm just teasing. I grew up hunting with my dad and eating venison. Just get here, okay?"
After she hung up with Steve, she quickly checked her appearance. She always liked looking her best, no matter what. She had worked hard on dropping her perfectionistic tendencies but it was difficult. Especially when she wanted so much for Steve to find her appealing. She had initially been okay with how she looked. She did her best to look nice and was usually pleased with the outcome. Growing up, she and her sisters were complimented frequently on their beauty. She dated, went to homecoming and prom, and was pleased with how she looked in photos.
But then in college, she stopped playing competitive sports because of her workload, and she thickened up a little bit. Combined with having a roommate who was petite and slim, and always had a gaggle of guys flocking around her wherever they went, Bre found herself feeling insecure in her size. She noticed that men seemed to be drawn to petite women because they felt more masculine around someone who needed their protection. Bre never needed that. She was perfectly capable of handling anything. Seeing how small and beautiful Paige was, combined with the fact that she was having Steve's baby, had brought up some insecurities Bre would have thought were non-issues by now.
She was wearing black skinny ankle length pants, and a short sleeve cropped charcoal sweater with a v-neck over a long white blouse. She still liked it but her hair was a bit fuzzy from running around the house, so she brushed it and ran some serum through it with her fingers. The nice thing about her hair was that when she curled it in the morning, it kept the curl all day long.
She scrutinized her face and touched up her bronzer and eyeliner. Better. She checked the polish on her nails and toenails. Matte burgundy. She did them herself, usually on Mondays. Her nails were chipping but not badly enough to take the polish off tonight .
She added some rose tinted lip balm and was ready for her Prince to arrive. She was so in love with Steve, it wasn't even rational. She couldn't understand why Paige hadn't been, and why she had treated him so badly, but she knew that some people weren't suited for each other while others were. Her and Wes were proof of that.
The main issue she had with Paige, though, was how mean she had been to such a kind man, and how she had driven him to a point of some crazy rage that clearly wasn't him at all. She did like Paige as a person but she wasn't sure she could get beyond her treatment of the man she loved. Bre would do everything in her power going forward to ensure Paige wasn't going to continue bullying him.
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Bre's phone alarm went off at eight, and she tiptoed past Steve on the couch to quietly start making coffee and breakfast for him before he had to call Paige.
He had insisted on sleeping on the couch if he was going to stay over. Bre had felt slightly jilted, which must have shown on her face, because Steve said, "Look, honey, I love you, and I love laying with you, but it's incredibly hard for me to sleep when I'm next to you. It's incredibly hard to keep my hands where they belong. So I lie awake all night long". He looked sheepish. "I don't mind doin' it, but tonight I'd sure like some sleep if I'm goin' to be able to handle this conversation tomorrow".
Bre immediately felt guilty. "Oh, Steve. Why didn't you say something sooner? I didn't realize you weren't sleeping! Now I feel bad".
Steve wrapped his arms around her and said, smiling, "It's not your fault you're so beautiful I can't sleep".
Bre had looked away and squirmed a little, and Steve noticed immediately.
"What? What did I say? What's wrong?", he asked, instantly concerned.
"Nothing", she said, looking up at him and smiling.
"Somethin' bothered you just now. Talk to me", he insisted.
"It's silly. It's nothing", Bre protested, shaking her head.
"Didn't we promise each other honesty at all times?", Steve asked quietly.
She sighed and looked into his honest blue-green eyes which were currently filled with worry. About her. About something she should be mature enough to not let bother her.
"I have been feeling self-conscious about my size lately", Bre confessed, watching his expression change from worry to confusion.
"Your...size?", he asked. "Size of what?"
She half laughed at his innocent confusion.
"Overall my size. I have a large frame for a woman. It never bothered me as a child because my whole family was tall and strong, and because it allowed me to rock at sports, but when I got into college I realized that most men seem to prefer more petite women. All of the men I was interested in seemed to think of me as a friend to hang out with or play sports with, but my pretty fine-boned roommate was the one they wanted to open doors for and fight over. Not me. I was even larger than a lot of them. That's when I started to feel self-conscious about my size".
She looked down when she said, "Seeing tiny, perfect, gorgeous Paige carrying your child has apparently drug up some insecurities I thought I was completely over by this time in my life. It's petty and immature, and not worth dwelling on...but that's what it is".
"Oh, Bre", Steve said, his voice catching.
She looked at him, nearly eye level when they were standing next to each other. "If I haven't made it perfectly clear to ya that I prefer you in every way to every other woman on this planet, please let me clear that up right now".
He pulled her tighter. "There is nothin' about Paige that I prefer to you. Nothin'. I like you being tall. I like you being strong, and confident, and assertive, and athletic. I love everything about you. I admire your strength and bravery and determination, and I love that I feel like you are a partner in my life, rather than someone I have to take care of".
She gave him a half smile. She wanted to believe him.
"Please don't change anythin' about yourself and please don't feel like you're not good enough. You are perfect for me in every way. You are way too good for me and I am so lucky to have you". He rested his forehead against hers. "I'm maybe not so good at explainin' myself or my feelings, but I wish you could see how I see you. You would never feel insecure again if you could see that".
Bre tipped up her face and kissed him on the mouth. "And I wish you could see how I see you. You're a reliable, honest, and hardworking man who didn't deserve to be treated the way Paige and Brad treated you. Don't let their narrative change your view of yourself. We are all the villian in somebody's story".
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* Oooh, don't be the villain, be the hero...by voting before moving on! *