Gabriel POV
He loves me that's why.
He loves me that's why.
He loves me that's why.
The words keep fucking being said in my head. The thing is she is fucking spot on.
When I walked into her room and saw that she hadn't unpacked I was a little fucking pissed. I mean she could have done it but then she apologized and stuck out that bottom lip and all I felt in that moment for her was love. Like a ton of love. She owns my heart and she doesn't even fucking know it which irritates the shit out of me. Sometimes I wish I could just blurt it out and tell her I do indeed fucking love her but I know I fucking can't because of stupid fucking rules.
Then Luke says that he and the others can't get away with pouting out their bottom lip and she's says what she does.
He loves me that's why.
She's blushing with embarrassment right now and I seriously fucking want to tell her she is spot fucking on but I damn well can't. This is my chance to tell her but none of us know how she feels.
We're having to take it slow with her. She's been unloved pretty much her whole fucking life and then we come along and love her all at once.
I'm losing my mind.
I just want to spit it out and tell her how I feel but I know I can't and that's what hurts like a bitch. My love for her only grows stronger every fucking day.
I dart my eyes to Luke and find him watching me carefully. He knows what I'm thinking and with the slight shake of my head he's telling me no.
I inhale a quiet fucking deep breath and let it out slowly then smile at her. Yeah it's fucking forced but she needs to know that those words didn't affect me. "Uh-huh, Trouble." Is all I can manage to say. For a distraction I pick up a pair of high waist black shorts that will hit her mid thigh, a cream lace cami with a dark pink under top. I hand them to her, still smiling. "Go get changed in these Trouble."
She takes the clothes from me and looks down at them in her hands. Sometimes I would love to know what is going on through that head of hers. Just to have a peek into those thoughts so I know what she wants. When she looks back at me she has a sad expression on her face and I fucking hate it. She's suppose to be smiling and laughing because this is vacation. "I am sorry, Meanie."
I shake my head at her. "No. I'm sorry." So fucking sorry. She looks confused, a frown forming on her beautiful face and is probably waiting for me to say more but I don't. I watch as she walks into the bathroom and closes the door behind her.
"Gabe." Luke says, his voice apologetic.
I shake my head and look over at him as I fiercely blink away tears. "Don't Luke. Please just fucking don't."
He nods his head in understanding and I get back to unpacking Sang's clothes, something I'll do for a lifetime just for her.
*
Sang POV
I swipe the tear away that escaped my eye when I walked into the bathroom. I think I've messed up and just said the wrong thing but what Gabriel said has confused me ever more. Why is he sorry? He shouldn't be sorry. He has no reason to be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry and I hate myself for not thinking before speaking.
When I first met the guys nothing like that would have even left my mouth. However, my confidence has grown around them and I find myself saying things like I just did.
I'm such an idiot. I should have just giggled to what Luke said and kept my mouth firmly closed that way I wouldn't ever have to remember the pained expression on my Meanie's face and his forced smile.
If only he knew how I felt about him. How I felt about all of them. I want to tell them but I've always been one to keep what I'm feeling to myself with having no one to care about them. That's how I was brought up and that's how I'll probably continue living. Keep my emotions and feelings to myself, locked away tightly.
I strip down and dress in the clothes Gabriel gave me. I tuck in the lace cami and pink tank into the high waist black shorts and pull the lace cami out a little bit so it looks loose around my chest area.
Taking a deep breath to compose myself and not let Gabriel's reaction bother me I open the bathroom door and walk back out into my room. I stop in my tracks when I see North and Silas laying back, propped up against the headboard on one bed and Nathan, Kota and Victor sitting on another.
All conversation stops when I walk into the room and all eyes turn my way. "Hi." I say feeling the blush creep up my face.
Everyone says hi back to me in their own way like they do.
I turn to Gabriel who is just zipping up my now empty suitcase and placing it in the corner of my room. I hold my hands out at my sides. "Do I look okay?"
He smiles and this time it's a real smile. It's my Meanie's smile. "Stunning as always." He says. I blush even more and return his smile.
I take in what the others are wearing. A variety of different colored and patterned board shorts and t-shirts or vest tops. They all look handsome in their own way and I love that they all have their own likes and dislikes when it comes to clothes. Gabriel knows what he's doing when it come to shopping for the guys...and well...me.
"So what is it we're doing tomorrow?" I ask. I sit down on the bed that North and Silas are sitting on. Both lean forward and each grab an arm, pulling me back to sit in between them on the bed. I giggle.
"Well, you have a few choices." Luke says.
"There's Magic Kingdom." Nathan says.
"Epcot." Kota adds.
"Sea World." Victor says.
"Typhoon Lagoon." Silas grins.
"What's that?" I ask quickly before anyone else can add to the list.
"It's a water park, Baby." I instantly perk up. Swimming? Slides?
"I'm in." I grin widely.
"Sure you don't want to go to Magic Kingdom first Peanut? You know...the place where dreams come true?" Nathan asks.
I shake my head. "Nope." I say, popping the P. "The water park tomorrow and the Magic Kingdom place the next day."
"We have a surprise for you on Tuesday, Princess." Victor says, his fire eyes blazing.
I clap my hands together excited. "Yay." But curious as to what the surprise is. They've set this trip all up quickly and I'm curious on how they can set up a surprise so quickly but then again these boys are Academy boys. Most things they can do with the snap of their fingers.
"Then on Wednesday we can go to Epcot." Kota says. "Thursday we can do Animal Kingdom."
"Friday were going to Downtown Disney." Gabriel adds.
"Then Saturday we can go to Sea World and Disney MGM studios on Sunday." Luke says. "Definitely have to go to Sea World."
"Then home on Monday night so during the day we can lounge round the pool here." Silas finishes.
I can tell that the guys have done their research. They seem to know where they want to go and what they want to do. I don't really care as long as I get to see it all.
Everyone agrees to the plan and set up they have. Kota even texts Owen and Sean to let them know the plan.
"Trouble, put these on." Gabriel hands me a pair of white flip flops. I slide them on my feet. The bright pink he painted on my toenails earlier on the plane seems brighter against the white contrast of the flip flops and my pale skin.
I scramble off the bed when there is a knock at the door. Opening it I grin when I see Sean and Owen. Sean is wearing a cream pair of cargo shorts and a purple button down dress shirt and male flip flops on his feet. Owen is wearing mama co light grey 3/4's with a white dress shirt, rolled up at the sleeves and grey tennis shoes. It's weird seeing Owen dressed in casual clothes but I can't help but enjoy it. He looks carefree and young.
Owen raises an eyebrow. "My guess is that the others are in here?" I look over my shoulder at the boys who are now standing from the beds. Looking back at Owen I nod. He rolls his eyes. My mouth drops open. Mr. Blackbourne, Owen, the boss just rolled his eyes. "Sang, close your mouth. You might catch flies."
"But...you..." I stutter. I look at Sean who's grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "He...he just rolled his eyes. The Mr. Blackbourne I know does not roll his eyes. Ever."
"Pumpkin, you're acting so shocked."
"I'm not acting." I look back at the boys to find they're trying to contain their laughter. I look back at Owen who's trying to keep a straight face. "You just rolled your eyes. The man I know does not roll his eyes and only ever gives a millimeter smile."
Both of Owen's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Just a millimeter?"
"Yes." I say blushing, realizing that I told him I pretty much mentally measure the size of his smile. "A millimeter."
He smiles. And I mean a full out smile that flashes his perfectly white straight teeth making my heart skip a beat in my chest. He should smile like that more often because he looks beautiful. "Is this a millimeter smile?" He asks pointing a finger to his smile.
I shake my head. "Most definitely not." I whisper.
His smile turns into a smirk. "Are you ready for dinner, Sang?" I nod my head. "Come on then. Let's all go and get something to eat downstairs."
We all usher out of my room and I close the door behind me making sure I have my key before I do. As we walk to the elevator, I think about that damn smile.
It's official. First day here and I love this side of Mr. Blackbourne. Owen.
*
At the restaurant a pretty hostess with long wavy auburn hair and smokey green eyes leads us to a table of ten. I catch her a couple of times eyeing the boys and then looking at me. Everytime she realized I was watching her she would frown and give me some sort of disgusted look. I mentally scoffed because I won't let her pathetic actions upset me.
"It's an all you can eat buffet tonight boys." She purrs. All of the boys eyes turn in my direction which she follows. I can't help but raise an eyebrow at her. "And girl." Disgust evident in her voice. She dips her hand in her black apron and pulls out a pen and pad. "What can I get you all to drink?" We all order a cokes. "I'll be right back." She says sweetly before walking away.
"So, tomorrow we're going to a water park, Pookie?" Sean asks. He's sitting opposite me, grinning widely.
"Yes. If that's okay." I add. I know Kota texted Owen and Sean telling them the plans but if they had something planned I didn't want to intervene, after all this was their vacation too.
"Of course it is." His eyes twinkle. "You going to come on the 'Crush 'n' Gusher' with me?"
"I have no idea what that is but sure, why not." I say to him. I look around the table at the other guys. "Anyone else with any requests?"
"I'll go on all the rides you go on, Peanut."
"Same here. I'm not scared of a little water slide." Luke grins and flicks his eyes to North who's sitting beside me and grins wider.
I look over at North to find him looking down at the table, jaw clenched and unclenching, his shoulders tense. I frown. "North?"
He flinches a little which makes my frown deepen. He looks over at me. "Yes, Sang Baby?" He practically says the words through clenched teeth. If I lean in I'm pretty sure I would hear them grinding together.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
His eyes widen and he looks around the table. I look too and everyone, including Owen turn their heads away from my direction but I did notice the teasing smiles on their faces. I turn back to North and raise a questioning eyebrow. He takes my hand in his and puts them between us. Then when I notice that his hands are shaking a little. Oh lord, what's wrong? I plead him with my eyes to tell me. He sighs and rests his head on our hands. "I'm scared of roller coasters." I almost didn't catch what he said because it was slightly muffled and he said it so fast.
"It's a water park North. There's slides. Not roller coasters." I look around the table and land my eyes on Kota who is the only one watching the display. "Right?"
"Yes sweetie. No roller coasters. Just slides." He confirms.
I place my head near North's so he can be the only one that hears me when I say. "I won't make you go on any roller coasters North if you're scared of them but the water park is a slide."
He turns his head a little and his dark eyes lock onto mine. "I don't do big rides Baby. I'll go on the little slides and the teacups but not the big ones." His voice is a whisper like mine so I know it's only us two that can hear each other and know what's being said. I can't believe it though. My big brave, demanding, a little controlling North is scared of a roller coaster. My North that drives a motorcycle and climbs through my window. My heart warms and I fall that little bit in love with him again.
*
North POV
She's going to think I'm the most stupid idiot in the fucking world. I'm sixteen and I'm fucking scared to death of roller coasters, drops and all that shit. I have no idea why I'm scared of them. It's not because of heights I know that because I climb through windows all the time. I'm just fucking scared of them.
I knew I had no choice but to come clean soon. She would have found out eventually. It doesn't bother me what my brothers think of me having this fear but it matters when it comes to Sang. Everything matters when it comes to Sang.
I watch as a slow smile spreads across her face as she rest her head near mine on the table. "I have no idea what the teacups are but I'll go on them with you."
I can't stop the sigh of relief that leaves me. My shoulders relax and I finally unclench my jaw. Now I just want to kiss her all I can until she tells me to fucking stop. If only she knew how fucking much I loved her. I can feel the words on the tip of my tongue so I bite down on it as I grin at her. "You're perfect Baby. I thought you were going to call me a pansy or an idiot." I tell her.
She giggles. It's music to my fucking ears. "No. Everyone is scared of something. Your biggest fear just happens to be roller coasters. It's fine though. I'm sure we can find things to go on together."
"My biggest fear isn't a roller coaster." I tell her then silently curse at myself as I realize she's going to ask what I mean. I hate the fact she's not ready for us to tell her how we feel. I'm always feeling the words on the tip of my tongue when I'm around her. But then again, she could be ready. She probably just isn't showing it but then she has no fucking clue how we feel about her.
I know what she said earlier to Gabe really upset him and I know he had that feeling washing over him about telling her how he feels just like I am right now. It's irritating the fucking shit out of me.
"What is your biggest fear?" She asks.
"Losing you." I whisper before quickly sitting up. I watch as she sits up slowly, her eyes a little a wide but a small frown on her beautiful face. I can tell by the way the concentrated look on her face that just formed she's thinking about my words and what they mean. I pick my hand up that still has hers wrapped tightly in it and kiss the back of her hand, loving her soft silky skin on my lips. She smiles weakly at me and blushes. I love that fucking blush.
Turning to the guys I grin widely. "She's fucking coming on the teacups with me."
The table roars with laughter.
*
Sang POV
Losing me is his biggest fear? What does this mean? Does it mean what I think it means? That he cares just as deeply for me as I do him? Or is he just worried about losing me in general? As a friend? I don't know. I'm so confused right at this moment.
I briefly hear North telling the boys that I'll go on the teacups with him whatever they are but other than that I'm not functioning properly. If he feels something for me then why won't he just say it? Jeez, why won't I just say it? I know why I don't want to say anything. I don't want to ruin our relationship that we have, or friendship. His friendship means everything to me just like the friendship I have with the others. I can't lose them. They're all I have left. I need them in my life like I need air to breathe. They are my life line and they don't even realize it.
But if North feels something for me, then why won't he tell me? I hate seeing him so scared and vulnerable when he told me that he was scared of roller coasters. My heart cracked a little when he thought so low of me thinking that I would think that he was a...pansy or an idiot. I'd never ever think that ever about any of the guys. Never ever.
If North told me he was scared of tiny spiders I still wouldn't laugh or call him names for having a fear. You have a fear naturally. You can't help whether it's because of bad experiences or it's just a natural thing.
From the corner of my eyes I see the girl with the auburn hair bringing us our drinks. She goes around the table handing them out, placing them in front of us. Each of the guys say thank you and she gives them a flirty smile which they all ignore.
"Here you go." She says holding my drink out to me. I look at the table them back to her, my lips curling up a little smugly. She sighs and rolls her eyes which is very un-professional and then places it on the table. When she's done that she holds the tray at her side and says. "You can go up when you're ready. Plates will be at the beginning of the line." And with that she walks away.
"I don't like her." Luke says. "We're not eating here again right?" He asks looking around the table.
"If the food's good then I am." Silas grins. "I'll just ask for another hostess."
Nathan stands from his chair. "Don't know about you but I'm hungry." He looks at me grinning. "C'mon Peanut."
I stand from my chair and remove my hand from North's. I miss that little bit of contact with him already. Nathan is quick in taking my hand and he pulls me up to the a counter where rows and rows of food are lined up. "Wow."
Nathan chuckles. "A lot of food huh?" He hands me a plate. "It's an all you can eat buffet Peanut so grab extras."
"Why would I need extras?" No way would I be able to eat a plate full of food let alone come up for seconds.
"You might get hungry later." He winks and I shrug. I watch as Nathan piles his plate up with pasta dishes, pizzas, chips, chicken drumsticks and BBQ ribs. When he realizes I haven't moved and just stood there watching him, he grins. "We're on vacation Peanut. We can eat all we want. Come on. Pack up that plate."
I roll my eyes and scoop some pasta that's in a tomato and herb sauce onto my plate with a couple of slices of pizza.
When we get back to the table, the other boys stand and make their way over to the buffet stand. I slowly start eating a slice of pizza and watch in fascination as Nathan gobbles his food down, taking sips of his coke in between. I shake my head wondering where he stores it all.
The others come back within a few minutes and their plates too are piled high with different foods. North has burgers. Kota has a salad on his. Silas has a bit of everything I think. Luke has chocolate chip pancakes. Damn, I didn't see them there. Owen too has a salad with pasta. Sean has a rice dish. Gabriel has some sort of spicy chicken and Victor has noodles.
I wipe my hands on my napkin when I've finished a slice of pizza and few bites of pasta. "You finished Pookie?" Sean asks.
I nod my head. "Yeah I'm full." Sean eyes my plate. "What?" I ask frowning.
He shakes his head. "Nothing Pumpkin." I narrow my eyes at him, silently telling him to tell me what he wants to say. He sighs. "You just didn't eat a lot, that's all and I haven't seen you eat all day."
My mouth opens and closes a few times, shocked because he's paying attention and angry with myself because he's right. All I've eaten today is chocolate chip pancakes and that was at breakfast. It's now eight at night.
"You didn't eat on the plane sweetie?" Kota asks.
I shake my head. "No. I wasn't hungry."
I feel my cheeks heat with shame and embarrassment. I've never really been a big eater but missing meals isn't something I do often. Normally I eat small portions and often or at least the three meals that are required a day for your body. I'm not one to skip meals though.
All eyes are on me as I pick up my pizza and take another bite. I don't want them worrying about me and my eating habits. I'm not really that hungry but maybe, just maybe I can eat a little more. We're on vacation, the last thing I want is everyone worrying that I'll pass out because I've skipped a meal or something.
After a few bites I chuck the rest back onto my plate, pick up my coke and take a sip before placing it back on the table. I look over at Sean. "I'm finished."
He gives me a small, tight lip smile and nods his head in approval. I also know that now all the guys will be watching me carefully. Worrying about me like always.
*
I say goodnight to the guys and go into my room. After the whole me not eating thing and skipping meals, we quickly got back into laughing and joking with each other the way it should be and I found myself finally relaxing again.
All the boys brought back left overs which I'm not surprised about. They said they need midnight snacks.
I dig around in the drawers to find some sleep wear. I settle on a pair of light pink sleep shorts with a grey tank top. I go into the bathroom and quickly change and brush my teeth. I pull my hair back into a pony tail and then go back into the room and climb onto one of the beds.
I find my phone and smile when I see a text from North already.
North: Baby, still ring me if you have any nightmares.
Instantly I'm a little on alert. There are no cameras here for North to watch me sleep like he does or to just check in on me and my phone no longer has a wire as far as I'm aware as I asked Victor to remove it, ignoring the protests from the others. I told them that I needed some sort of privacy. I mean what if I was having a very important conversation with the guys that I didn't want the others knowing about. I'm pretty sure that North has used the wire a few times to listen in to some conversations but at the moment I have no proof. Eventually they stopped arguing about it with me and Victor removed it like I asked.
I purse my lips and tap out a reply to North.
Sang: Will you be okay? Will you be able to sleep?
North: Probably not but don't worry about me Baby.
Sang: You can stay with me if you want.
I wait patiently for his reply. I don't want him losing sleep and being tired during the whole vacation. He'll only become grumpy, well more than usual and I don't want that. As I wait for a reply there's a knock at my door.
I scramble off the bed and open it up. "Of course I want to." North says as soon as I've opened the door. I open it wider and he comes in. He's only wearing a pair of pajama shorts. No shoes and no shirt.
I close the door and follow him over to the bed. We both climb onto it and I snuggle up to North resting my head on his chest, my arm on his abdomen. His fingers trail lightly up my arm. "Why is your biggest fear losing me?" I ask quietly.
At first I didn't think he heard me because he was so quiet or that he had fallen asleep but he quietly sighs and says. "Because Sang Baby, you're the most important person in my life. I'd be lost without having you in my life."
My breath hitches at his words. I lift my head and look through the dark into his eyes. The lights from outside are shining through the window, lighting them up a little so I can see that his eyes are on me. "You're important to me too, North. I don't want to lose you either."
"I'm glad Baby." He kisses my temple and I rest my head back on his chest. "Go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."
I grin into the dark sleepily. "I'll come on a small slide with you North."
He chuckles lightly. "I know Baby." And with that I fall into a dreamless slumber.