Robert drove me back home, music playing quietly in his car. I didn't feel much like talking. I still felt so betrayed by Jackson. I just wanted to lay in bed for a few days and watch sappy movies, which is great seeing as I couldn't work for the next few days anyway.
We reached my house, and Robert helped me up the stairs and into bed.
"Can you bring my sketchbook, pencils, and iPad over here?" I asked motioning to the nightstand by my bed.
"No problem!" Robert said happily, gathering the few things I requested plus my water bottle. "I'll go get you some water."
I nodded my head, smiling. I'm so glad I had someone to be there for me and help take care of me, and I wasn't too much of a burden to my mum.
Robert returned with my water bottle filled and carefully took off the boot, set it next to the bed, and elevated my foot on a rather rotund stuffed animal I had.
He brushed the hair out of my face. "What do you reckon? You comfortable enough?" He said, smiling.
"Yes, thank you so much. For everything, taking me to the hospital, staying with me, and bringing me back home," I said.
"Of course! Try to get some rest, I know those hospital beds aren't too comfortable. Text me if you need anything, okay?"
"I will Robbie, thank you. You try to get some rest too," I replied, reaching up to hug him before he walked out.
I was glad for him being here, but he seemed a little more..touchy than normal. And anytime he moved the hair out of my face or touched me, I got butterflies immediately. Maybe it was a good thing Jackson and I didn't work out I could figure out if my feelings for Robert were genuine, or if I just desperately wanted to be with someone.
And I know how stupid that sounds and how young I am. But I've never fit in anywhere or had many friends my age or anything, I mostly fit in among the animals and felt the most at home at the zoo. But I wanted to feel important, wanted, and needed by more than just the animals.
I turned on my television, putting on The Longest Ride, which was some cheesy Nicholas Sparks movie. I then grabbed my sketchbook and started drawing some sea animals- fish, sharks, whales, and more.
Once I had enough of drawing, I laid on my side and curled up with my fuzzy blankets, getting comfortable in a little cocoon. I carefully moved my leg and adjusted myself so it would still be elevated.
Once the movie ended, I was crying softly. Oh, I longed for a relationship that would last, for someone to genuinely love me.
I turned on another movie, feeling more and more depressed. Suddenly there was a knock at my door, and my mum came in bringing me some soup. I ate enough to keep down my antibiotics and left the bowl on my nightstand, I didn't feel too much like eating.
My phone went off a few times, but I didn't feel like answering it, no matter who it was. I just wanted to be alone for a few days, to give my heart and mind some time to heal, and my leg too of course.
After several movies, I fell asleep.
I sat out on the water, my legs dangling off the edge of the surfboard. Robert sat next to me on his, watching the sunset paint the sky. Suddenly, I was pulled underwater and thrashing around. I couldn't see the shape of Robert on the surface anymore, and I was slowly pulled into the deep abyss of the ocean.
I jerked awake, sitting up. My heart was pounding and tears were threatening to flood out of my eyes like a pipe about to burst. My chest tightened and I could feel a panic attack coming. Pain went through my leg due to the position I was in, so I adjusted it and got more comfortable.
I anxiously patted the bed around me, desperately searching for my phone. I checked the time, 3:43. My heart still raced from the nightmares and tears slowly escaped from my eyes as I tried to take deep breaths in order to calm myself down. I texted Robert.
Me: hey, any chance you're up? I can't sleep.
I set my phone on my chest, staring at the ceiling and trying to calm myself down. To my surprise, my phone vibrated.
Robert: yeah I'm awake. what's wrong? is your leg bothering you? do I need to come over?
Me: I keep having nightmares...
Robert: oh that's no good! do you want to talk about it?
Me: it was about the shark attack..
We texted back and forth for a little bit until I finally told him to go to sleep since I knew he would have to go to the zoo in the morning, but he promised he'd come by on his lunch break. I didn't tell him I still didn't feel like seeing anyone. I finally fell back asleep and stayed asleep.
"Hey sweetie, you hungry at all?" My mum said, waking me up.
"No mum but thank you," I replied, rolling over.
"Okay, well I'm off to the zoo. Please eat something and remember to take your antibiotics," She said before walking out of my room and leaving the door open like she did when I was here alone.
My cat, Tiger, came and jumped on my bed, snuggling up by my face. He purred in my ear as I scratched his chin. I put on some more sappy movies and laid in bed.
I had fallen back to sleep and woke up to my phone ringing. It was Robert calling me, probably telling me he was going to be here soon to see me during his lunch break. I muted the ringer and turned my attention back to the TV.
Suddenly, Robert appeared in my doorway.
"Oh, you are okay. I was starting to get worried," he said, coming over and sitting in my desk chair.
"Sorry, I just haven't felt like talking to anyone really," I said, pausing the movie.
"Well, that's understandable. I brought some sandwiches, so eat up and take your antibiotics," he instructed, handing me a sandwich and the bottle of antibiotics on my nightstand. I did as he said, as I knew that he wouldn't give up and that he was just looking out for me and trying to get me to feel better.
After we ate, he sat next to me on my bed and we watched About Time together. I rested my head on his shoulder as we watched the movie. Soon enough it was time for him to leave and I was alone again. Even though I didn't feel like seeing anyone, it was nice to have Robert's company, even if it was just for a little bit. Robert seemed to understand, and even if he didn't he respected that I didn't want to talk or deal with anyone. He didn't push me to open up and sat there and just was with me.
I stayed in bed for the next few days, only getting up to pee or make food occasionally, which I didn't need to do much of as Robert brought me lunch, and helped me change the gauze on my leg, and mum brought me dinner. I was never much of a breakfast type of person. Both Robert and mum helped me with taking care of the guinea pigs, and Robert would bring them to me after we finished eating our lunch so I could still have cuddle time with them.
The doctor said I could start doing some light walking and helping out at the zoo again after 2 or 3 days, but I had no motivation to. I know the animals needed me just as much as they needed Bindi and Terri and Robert, but I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed and deal with people. Robert was the only exception. And when he wasn't here, he was texting me updates about how the animals were doing at the zoo and how his croc shows were going, which I appreciated.
It was evening now, on the fourth day after me getting home from the hospital. Mum came into my room.
"Hey, love. You can't let this boy keep you down forever," she said, sitting on my bed. Robert had filled her in on what happened.
"I know mum but right now I just want to disappear into my blankets and stay here a little while longer," I protested.
"I know sweetheart, but you have lots of people who care about you and are wanting to see you soon. Plus your birthday is coming up." She reminded me.
I sighed. Ah yes, my birthday. It was on the 20th, and it was already the 15. So far I didn't have anything planned, and as far as I knew, neither did mum.
"I don't even know what I want to do for my birthday," I said, "maybe my leg will be fine by then. And we did just do a barbie for my graduation."
"Well, think on it. You can do whatever you want, alright? Just let me know and we'll figure it out. And you do have a follow-up appointment with the doctor a few days before then, so next Monday. You only get to be 19 once." She said.
"Thank you, mum, I appreciate it. I'll think about it."
"Hey! If anything, just you and Robert could do something!" She winked after she said that.
I laughed. "We'll see mum. I'll try to go to the zoo tomorrow, okay?"
"Promise?"
"I promise."
And with that, she kissed me on the cheek and went back to the living room.
I continued watching movies and drawing during some of them. My phone kept going off but I was so consumed in drawing and the movies that I ignored it. Eventually, it was after midnight, and I had drawn some sketches of elephants, rhinos, and giraffes in my sketchbook, and was working on tracing and colouring them digitally on my iPad in Procreate, the drawing app that I use.
I had just finished the basic outlines of the animals when my phone went off again. I saw it was Robert and ignored him. I was content drawing and being alone by myself right now, and the drawing was helping me clear my head and not think too much about what happened with Jackson.
Suddenly, there was a light tapping on my window. It wasn't too loud as to startle me, but it was loud enough that I stopped what I was doing. I dismissed it as a bird seeing the light filtering through my curtains and tapping on my window. My bedroom was on the second floor of my house, so I wasn't worried about it being a bigger animal or a person.
The taps got harder and more frequent. Robert called me again. I picked up the phone, now concerned about the taping at the window.
"Hey, Robbie. Perfect timing. There's some weird tapping on my window and I'm thinking it might be a sick or confused bird or something," I said as soon as I answered, not letting him say a word.
"Huh how weird," he chuckled. "Why don't you go check it out?"
"Yeah, I'm going to. But stay on the phone in case it is an animal," I replied.
I carefully got out of bed, not bothering to put the boot on as I was just going to the window over my desk. I hobbled over to my desk, using the desk chair and my nightstand to help me keep my balance. I pulled back my curtains.
At first, I didn't see anything up close and by my window, but then the taping happened again, and as I watched I saw a rock being thrown towards my window. I looked down to see Robert standing there, throwing rocks at my window. I got butterflies, this was some cheesy trope in some romantic teen movie and I loved it.
"G'day!" he said through the phone, waving up at me.
I smiled and waved back down at him.
"Come downstairs! Let's watch the stars, bring a blanket!" He said.
"Okay, give me a few to put the boot on!" I said through the phone before hanging up. I hobbled back over to my bed, sat down and carefully put the boot on my leg. I grabbed a fuzzy blanket off my bed and my phone. I quietly went downstairs. I wasn't too worried about waking mum as I knew she wouldn't be upset since I was just going to the backyard, and Robert would be out there with me.
I opened the sliding glass door to the back porch and saw Robert standing by the steps. I realised he had a guitar on his back.
"What are you doing? I asked, motioning to the guitar on his back.
"You'll see. Let's sit on the grass," He replied, offering me his hand so he can help me limp down the stairs.
I spread the blanket out on the grass, and he bent down to pick up a few small pillows and a lunch bag from near the steps. We set up a little picnic spot and he set the guitar down next to him.
"I wanted to get you out of the house, even just for a little bit and even just to sit outside like this. I know how much you love being outside and figured it may cheer you up a bit and make you feel at least a bit better," He explained, opening the lunch bag to hand me a container of mixed fruit.
"Ah, and you brought me fruit!" I said happily, taking a piece of watermelon out of it.
"I figured that might have cheered you up too," he chuckled.
"I'm sorry I'm so messy," I said, referring to the fact that I was in the same shirt and sweats I've had on for two days, and the messy bun my hair was in. When I said I haven't felt like getting out of bed, I meant it. And I wasn't supposed to shower every day and had to put a plastic bag around my leg to protect the stitches.
"Oh no, don't worry, Ash! I understand completely, it's not your fault," He quickly apologised.
"So, are you gonna tell me what the guitar is for?" I asked.
He swallowed hard and I could see a pink blush spread across his cheeks even in the moonlight. Was he nervous about something?
"Uhm...Actually...I need to say something but I'm not too good with words and Bindi said I should do it in a grand romantic gesture and I thought this would be a good idea," he said, his words spilling out quickly in a nervous jumbled-up sentence.
Butterflies flooded my stomach and my heart sped up. A grand romantic gesture? Needing to say something? What could this mean? Could Robert actually have feelings for me?
"Go on..." I whispered, intrigued to know where this was going.
Robert grabbed the guitar, it was the deep brown one Russell Crowe had gifted him a year or so ago. He strummed a little bit before playing.
You know I'd fall apart without you
I don't know how you do what you do
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
Makes sense when I'm with you
He sang. I immediately recognized the song as Wanted by Hunter Hayes. I blushed deeply, my heart beating faster and my palms getting clammy from nerves.
Like everythin' that's green, girl, I need you
But it's more than one and one makes two
Put aside the math and the logic of it
You gotta know you're wanted too
'Cause I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted
Anyone can tell you you're pretty
You get that all the time, I know you do
But your beauty's deeper than the make-up
And I wanna show you what I see tonight
When I wrap you up
When I kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
'Cause, baby, I wanna make you feel wanted
As good as you make me feel
I wanna make you feel better
Better than your fairy tales
Better than your best dreams
You're more than everything I need
You're all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
And I just wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted
Baby, I wanna make you feel wanted
You'll always be wanted
He strummed the last few chords from the song, and, as he set his guitar down, he looked up at me.