Word count: 2.7k
Warnings: NSFW, smut, shower sex, angst, crying, mentions of death, plot twist
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It had been a week since he was taken, you'd counted the days. Your life fell apart the second you got the news, your boyfriend had been abducted by the Separatists. It had been two days since you got the news, the rescue mission was a failure. His transport escaped and most likely crashed or was blown to pieces. According to the pilots of the rescue ship, there was no way a ship that damaged could have survived that jump. He was just gone, you knew he was.
Jesse was with you when the news was delivered to you both. You were in shock at first, unable to comprehend that your beloved was gone, just like that. After a few minutes you broke down into hysterics, bawling your eyes out and nearly collapsing on the floor. Jesse caught you and held you the entire night. He kept his emotions in check, hidden behind an unbreakable barrier, he never showed how much Kix's death affected him. Until you heard him one night in the barracks, you had just glanced in the door after hearing a loud crash. You saw Jesse taking off his armor, after every piece was free he was violently throwing it into the wall. You were scared and wondered why he was doing it when he turned around and sat on his bunk, his face and eyes were red and stained with tears. His sobs were loud and you wanted to go in and hold him, but you knew better. If he knew someone was watching him he would just close up again.
Jesse and Kix were batchmates and very close brothers. He was fun to hang out with when on leave. Jesse was pretty much the third wheel whenever it was just the three of you. You only had a handful of flirty encounters with Jesse. Half of them had been Kix's fault. Like the only time Jesse had ever seen you naked. Kix and you had been busy in a spare parts closet when Jesse walked in looking for something. He only saw your bare chest as Kix was occupying your lower half. You were a bit embarrassed, but Jesse and Kix both found it funny. They were so close that it was just a silly accident to them.
You remembered the one night you had all gone to 79s. Kix was hammered, whereas Jesse was considerably buzzed. You only had a couple drinks then stopped, being the designated driver. Kix had been babbling on about you, he was a chatty drunk, and randomly asked Jesse if he thought you were hot. Jesse agreed with his brother, laughing along with him. The alcohol had made Jesse bold, when Kix looked away he sent you a very flirty wink and smirk that you dwelled on for days. Jesse had only ever teased you or winked at you, never going any further. He knew you belonged to Kix and stayed satisfied with the little details that Kix let slip every now and then.
You had both taken Kix's kidnapping, and now death, hard and bonded even more. You'd just sit and hold each other when possible, Jesse had kissed your cheek a couple times, and recently you had taken to cuddling in bed at night. It was the only way either of you could sleep nowadays. It seems as though Kix's disappearance had brought you and Jesse closer together. To the point where it was bordering on lovers, though neither of you seemed to notice. It was just something you did without any thought. Like you had been made to, perhaps Jesse had always loved you, it was just happenstance that Kix got you first.
You were a scout, recruited when your hometown was burned to the ground by droids. Kix had found you in the rubble with a broken arm. Your relationship grew from the medbay out. You joined the GAR and gathered information for the 501st. That was eleven months ago. You got along well with everyone, even the Captain. It was heartbreaking to see them gone. Just one shot, one explosion, and the men you had been talking and laughing with the day before were just gone.
You'd been staring at your holopad for three hours and not gotten a single thing done. It was almost 0200 and you knew there was no chance of falling asleep. You hadn't had the motivation to do much of anything and decided to head to the refresher and take a shower. The fresher was completely empty when you entered. You made sure you had soap and chose a stall, turning the water on so it could heat up. You walked around the corner and stripped down, setting your clothes on a bench and grabbing a towel for after.
You walked back around the corner and was about to pull the curtain away to enter the stall when you saw something out of the corner of your eye. You turned your head to see Jesse splashing water on his face at a sink. Had he been in there the whole time? You didn't think so, maybe he couldn't sleep either. He wiped the water off on his arm and stared into the mirror, you stood and watched his reflection. He had bags under his eyes and looked exhausted. He must have noticed you in the mirror as his eyes shifted and you saw them reflecting back directly at you.
You didn't care that you were completely naked, he was only getting a view from the side, and you were too tired and stressed to care.You made eye contact with him, seeing his eyes widen as they roamed up and down your body. He was only in the bottom half of his blacks, his broad and strong back on display. Neither of you moved, just staring at each other in a comfortable silence. You slowly nodded your head, giving him silent consent as you saw his eyes darken. You turned and entered the shower, pulling the curtain closed behind you. You couldn't hear much over the sound of the water as you drenched yourself, the warmth soothing your tense muscles.
You heard the curtain being pulled open slightly before closing again. Warm arms wrapped around your middle and Jesse rested his head on your shoulder. You both needed the comfort right now, whatever way that was possible. It had been in the silence you both had shared, the cheek kisses, the late night cuddling, and now in each other's bodies. You felt his semi-hard cock pressing into your ass as he drew you closer, soaking himself in the warm water along with you. You placed your hands over his, closing your eyes and basking in the warmth of Jesse's body and the water.
You felt him start pecking kisses on your neck, one of his hands coming up to cup your breast. You sighed breathily, one of your hands reaching over your shoulder and holding his neck. You could feel him completely hard against your ass, his shaft resting between your cheeks. He bit down on the sensitive spot behind your ear and you whined. The hand you had previously resting on his hand you moved behind and grabbed at his hip, pulling him closer. Jesse hummed against your neck, the hand placed on your stomach moving lower to cup your sex. You bit back a moan as he rolled your nipples in between his fingers.
He parted your folds with a finger and ran it slowly up and down your hot, wet center, the water aiding his actions. You could feel him twitch against your ass at finding you so wet for him. He groaned into your skin, grinding against you. You turned around in his arms and brought him into an eager and heated kiss. He backed you up against the shower wall, the kiss was messy and urgent. Like it was the last time either of you would have this opportunity. For all you knew, it might be.
Jesse's fingers found your cunt again, sliding easily through your folds and finding your clit. You moaned into his mouth as he made circles on your bundle of nerves. Jesse broke away from your mouth to place kisses on your neck, slowly making his way down to your tits. You placed a hand on the back of his head, guiding him, the other you used to reach down and palm him. Jesse sucked a nipple into his mouth, groaning around it when you touched him and sending vibrations through your chest.
Neither of you said any words, you didn't need to. You were both grieving and needed each other for comfort, however that comfort came by. Jesse pushed his fingers inside you and you squeezed him in your hand, the both of you moaning together. You pumped him in your hand, smearing around the precum leaking out of him and placing hungry kisses on his neck. His fingers brushed that sweet spot inside you and you let out a high pitched moan, he withdrew his fingers and brushed your hand off his cock. He took himself in hand and ran his tip through your folds, occasionally catching it on your clit.
Jesse lined himself up but made eye contact with you first, asking for permission. You nodded and pulled him in for another passionate kiss. He pushed the tip of his cock in slowly, sticking his tongue in your mouth when you gasped. He picked you up and wrapped your legs around his hips, holding you firmly against the shower wall before lowering you down until he was fully sheathed inside. Your breathing had since sped up and gasps and moans flew from your mouth freely as Jesse started moving. His thrusts started slow as he got used to the feeling of your tight walls around him. You wrapped your legs tighter around his body, your calves pressing into his ass.
It felt like heaven, the burning fire of pleasure consuming your body. Jesse hit every right spot inside your body, the both of your loud moans echoing in the room. It was the first time in so long that the both of you were actually able to feel something. You weren't sure if the wetness near your eyes was from the shower or if you were crying. Jesse looked at you and his expression fell, giving you your answer. He didn't slow down, still fucking you at a decent pace. He blinked and you saw tears run down his face, his eyes getting red. He pressed his lips to yours, hard, his hips driving into you faster. You clenched your walls around him, making him growl. You were both trying to fuck the pain away.
You could feel Jesse twitch inside you and the way his breathing sped up told you he was close. He reached one hand between you both and rubbed your clit fast and firm, you were tightening around him and he wanted to cum at the same time. A few more hard and frantic thrusts and you snapped, your muscles clamping down on Jesse's cock. Your mouth fell open in a silent scream, only little squeaks and whimpers actually coming out. Jesse bit down on your shoulder as he shoved himself as deep inside you as he could, his balls tightening as he spilled his seed all over your inner walls. You both needed this, a release, a way to just get everything out.
After a few minutes you had both calmed down, you could feel Jesse starting to soften inside you but he made no move to pull out just yet. You cupped his face in your hands, brushing away the tears with your thumbs. You pressed a gentle, loving kiss to his forehead and he buried his face in your neck. You heard his quiet sobs right next to your ear and you pulled him impossibly closer to you, resting your head against his. Both of you letting your tears mix with the now cold water.
~~~~~~
"Jesse?" He hummed from beside you, showing he was listening. Your head was resting on his bare chest, the both of you now exhausted from your sexual activities. Over the last few days, you and Jesse had taken each other to bed every night. It was getting addicting. Every day was spent the same, waking up with little to no energy just barely getting through the day. Everything felt numb, neither of you laughed anymore, until you came together every night. Sometimes it was soft and slow, other times you took your frustration and sadness out on one another. It drove the numbness away, made you both feel alive.
"I'm going to tell you something important, are you listening," you said. "Yes, I'm listening," he replied. He pulled you closer to him, his arm around your back. You weren't sure how to tell him this. "I'm pregnant." You blurted. You could hear his head turn to look down at you. "It's Kix's baby," you said, "I found out the day before he was taken. I was gonna tell him but..." Jesse sighed, his other hand taking one of yours and bringing it up to his mouth, kissing your fingers. "I'm sorry, Y/N. You know I'm here for you, I'll help you." You couldn't help the tears that escaped your eyes and ran down you splatter on Jesse's chest. He dried your eyes without even having to look, he knew you so well. "I'll help you raise the baby, I'll always be here for you."