Az stood before Rhys's desk; hands clasped behind his back. His shadows curled and danced agitatedly over his shoulders and around his wings. Cassian glanced at him from where he was perched at the edge of one of the lavish chairs, likely noting Azriel's ridged posture. How the whites of his knuckles showed where he clenched his shadow-covered fists. Az really didn't want to give this report. Not now. Not when everyone was at such peace. Not when his niece and nephew slept soundly just a floor above, utterly unaware of the dangers of the world.
"Alright Az. What's really going on down south?" Rhys seemed to have noticed his reluctance. Azriel just took a slow breath, then began.
"The rumours my spies reported a few months ago are true. Most of the population of the Spring court has fled into Summer, along with a small number of mortals who dwell in the towns along the border with their lands. The few I was able to speak to said that they hadn't seen their high lord in over a year, in either beast or fae form-"
"Shit!" Cassian spat. They'd been trying to keep an eye on Tamlin since the war ended, but he'd grown increasingly reclusive, spending more time in his beast form and allowing his lands to deteriorate.
"Indeed," Az continued with a dry look at his brother.
"But why now?" Rhys asked, scratching his jaw absently. "Why flee Spring now? That court's been falling into the gutter for years. What's changed?"
"That's the other thing I found out." Azriel swallowed. "A few Spring court residents mentioned a strange, dark power. What they described matched up with what my spies reported. They said the air whispered to them."
"Whispered what?" Rhys pushed, eyes alert.
"They didn't say."
"I think we can assume it wasn't bedtime stories," Balthazar cut in from where he stood near the door. The male's scarred face was blank, but Azriel could see his mind working behind his hazel eyes.
Rhys slumped into his seat, running a hand through his blue-black hair. Az knew they were thinking the same thing.
"We need to get some spies in there. Find Tamlin and investigate these whispers further. I don't like surprises when it comes to that court." They all agreed.
"I could leave first thing-"
"No, Az. You need a day or two to rest. You look asleep on your feet."
"But-"
"And," Rhys continued with a pointed look, "you did promise Nyx you would take him flying in the morning." Az just nodded in resignation, but couldn't shake the feeling that something big was happening, and that every minute they wasted was sending them on the road to a disaster.
"Oh don't look so put out Az. You'll have your chance to show off in front of your recruits again soon enough," Cassian teased. Azriel just rolled his eyes, really not in the mood.
"Alright. You can leave morning after tomorrow. Take backup, but only a few," Rhys instructed, "Tamlin may still be on the prowl and we don't want to be detected. Get as much information as you can, but don't reveal yourself or engage if you can avoid it."
"Yes high lord." Azriel nodded. They continued to discuss the finer details, planning for as many dangerous scenarios as possible before Rhys finally turned to his brother.
"Cass, I want a squad of Illyrians ready to respond as soon as possible, just in case."
"Yes high lord." Cassian looked to Balthazar. "Can you head to Windhaven in the morning and tell Devlon to get them ready."
"Yes General." Balthazar saluted.
"That'll never stop being weird," Cassian muttered, smirking at his second. Az knew that very few Illyrians outside this room had ever treated his brother with respect or deference, despite his rank in Rhys's inner circle. Cassian's bastard-born status would always taint him in the eyes of their race.
"Alright. You can all head to bed. Az, can you bring down those formal report documents when you collect Nyx in the morning?" Rhys said, his voice finally betraying some of his own weariness. This uncertainty was draining on them all.
"Of course." Az saluted his high lord before leaving the office, Cassian and Balthazar on his heels. Once they reached foyer, Balthazar bid them goodnight before striding out the front doors and flying off in the direction of the townhouse to collect Gwyn.
"Do Asha or Nesta need a lift back to the house?" Az asked his brother.
"Nah. We've been staying here for the past month or so. I told Ness I didn't want to risk too much flying."
"How'd she respond to that?" Az quizzed, fighting a smirk.
"Well, she called me an 'overprotective Illyrian prick,' although that's nothing new these days. Pregnant Nesta is nothing like pregnant Feyre. Nesta bites."
Azriel chuckled at that. "She agreed though, and Asha seems to like spending more time with Nyx."
"Those two are going to be worse than the three of us were when they grow up." Az said, remembering all the mischief he and his brothers had gotten up to in their youth.
"Definitely. For one thing, we didn't have Mor as a role model," Cassian said with a laugh. "I swear she's already corrupted Ash. The little fiend has some serious sass."
"Do you ever miss it?" Az asked suddenly, not entirely sure why he did.
"Miss what?"
"When it was just the three of us. When we didn't have the continent at our feet and the fate of the world wasn't at stake." They both knew he wasn't being arrogant. It was just the fact of their power.
"The fate of the world was at stake, Az. We were just too young to see it." Cassian said in an uncharacteristically soft tone. "I do miss being so carefree though. Although I would never trade it for what I've got now." He smiled slightly, looking up the grand staircase.
"I suppose you're right. I just..." Az trailed off. He didn't really know what he'd been about to say.
"What's going on Az?" Cassian looked concerned, and Azriel knew this amount of emotion from him must seem strange.
"Never mind." He said with a shrug.
"Alright..." Cassian said, raising an eyebrow, "just remember I'm here to talk if you want. I'm sure Rhys would say the same."
"Yeah. Thanks Cass." Azriel pushed the hollow feeling inside himself back down to where it belonged. Cassian clapped him on the shoulder before turning toward the staircase, toward his mate and daughter, leaving Azriel alone in the foyer.
"Goodnight brother. It's good to have you back." Cassian called over his shoulder. Azriel just turned out the front door, stepping beyond the house's wards and shooting into the sky.
He inhaled deeply, letting the open air soothe him and his shadows, which were still agitated. Velaris, the city of starlight, had really come alive since the sun set. The sea of lights below him was a mirror to the brilliant sky above and, despite his exhaustion, Azriel allowed himself to get lost in it all. Let the wind rush and glide against the membrane of his wings as he caught the updrafts. He tried to pass all his thoughts and feelings over to that wind, begging it to take them away, but it was as silent and wild as ever. He was just a Shadowsinger after all. He couldn't talk to the wind.
Finally reaching the house of wind, Azriel landed on the small balcony whose doors opened into a communal living room. The room was dim as he entered, only lit by a few candles. He was almost at the door to the hall when he heard the rustling from behind him.
Az slid Truth-teller free out of instinct, crouching into a fighting stance. He was furiously scanning the room for danger when a soft, familiar voice reached his ears.
"Az, it's alright. It's just us." As his eyes finally adjusted, he saw Gwyn stand from the plush couch where she and Balthazar had been sitting, heads bent over a book. Azriel let a long breath out through his nose, putting his knife away.
"Sorry. I- I didn't mean to barge in. I thought the room was empty."
"It's alright. One of us should have said something," she reassured, looking back at her lover, who had made his way over to them.
"Well, um, I'll head off then," he said awkwardly, backing toward the door.
Gwyn asked, "are you sure you're alright?" just as Balthazar said, "you don't look too good mate."
"Really, I'm fine," he lied again. Az pictured the empty room that awaited him and realised that his quick retreat was a result of his desire to not see the two of them. Together. In that cosy room in the candlelight, the book on Gwyn's lap.
"Goodnight," he said, his voice a little colder than he intended.
What in the god's name is going on with you? His shadows seemed to whisper the question through his mind. Or maybe that was just his mind itself. It wasn't Gwyn's fault that she was happy. It wasn't Cassian or Rhys's fault either. He was glad beyond words that they were all so happy.
It took the entirety of his bath and night-time routine for Azriel to sift through his thoughts, sorting the images and words and emotions. The words Elain had thrown at him kept resurfacing for some reason, the memories leaving him cold and numb.
It took the stark sheets opposite his side of the bed and the silence of his room for Azriel to finally realise... he was lonely.
***Poor Az! I've always thought that he might harbour at least a bit of Jealousy after Rhys and Cass both found their mates. This will be a bit of an ongoing theme in this book I think, as loneliness is such a simple emotion, and yet it can be so painful.
I know this chapter was a little slow and boring, but once again, I think it was necessary to set up the conflict. The next one may not be out yet while you're reading this, but it shouldn't be too long. Have patience word nerds. :P
P.S. I'll attempt to stop writing such long Author's notes but I can't make any promises.