N O L A N
I'm putting an end to all of this nonsense. Kieran needs to go, and I'll make sure of it. He believes I'll let him off the hook for hurting people I care about, but I won't. After today, I'm going to settle the score with that son of a bitch. The sight of Chase, hurt and in that state, boils my blood and sends a surge of rage through my body. It's infuriating to think that my own cousin was behind it all.
I storm into my room, rummaging through all the drawers in search of my blade. Although I have a room filled with various weapons in the basement, I specifically need to find my blade, which I always keep with me. I don't want to end Kieran with just a bullet; I want him to suffer, even if I'll hesitate. It's a decision I've made, and I intend to follow through with it.
But I can't fucking find it. I'm throwing everything away that comes to my sight, trashing the whole room. I'm losing it completely and I can't even fucking think straight.
"Where the fuck is it?" I shout, unleashing my frustration on the room, tearing it apart. It's not just anger coursing through me. I want to be there at the hospital for Chase but if anything happens to him, I am never forgiving myself. I've lost enough people, I can't and don't want to lose anymore especially him. He has stuck through my side my whole entire life, I have managed to deal with things the right way because of him. He made me come to senses and he has stopped me from doing a lot of shit that could have ruined everything. I'll never be able to tell him how really thankful I am for his entire existence even though I may not show it.
I freeze, jaw clenched, as I sense something sharp against my back. I know exactly what it is, but the identity of the person holding it remains a mystery. My mind races through a list of potential suspects, but as soon as the voice speaks up, I feel my insides tighten.
"I miss you, baby." Alyssa whispers in a soft voice making me cringe. I should've killed her ages ago, she's not going to leave me alone.
"What do you want?" I need to control my anger and stay calm. This girl is crazy and she won't hesitate to do something stupid.
"You." She replies. I almost laugh out loud, I don't want Alyssa. I only want Kenzie and no one else.
"You can't have me." She drags the knife from my back to my stomach softly without hurting me while walking to face me.
"Who said I can't? Nolan. We both know you're still crazy about me just as I'm crazy about you. You're just using Kenzie to get over me, aren't you?" Don't lose it, keep it calm.
"I'm not crazy over you. And I'm most certainly not using Kenzie just to get over you. You never meant anything like that to me." She grits her teeth, tightening her hold to the knife that is still against my stomach.
"Shut the hell up about Kenzie! I'm sick and tired of hearing her name all the time. She's brainwashing you all into liking her and she's not who you think she fucking is!" I scoff at her words. It's hard to keep myself under control knowing the intentions she had for Kenzie. I probably won't be only killing Kieran tonight.
"I ended things with us for a reason. In fact, there was no us, I never liked you. I only used you, just to take my mind off things." I admit the truth without any remorse. I don't care about her feelings, I don't care about her at all.
"Baby, you don't mean that! I know you just want me to hurt you." It's not that I want her to hurt me but I haven't felt pain like that for a while. Ever since Kenzie has become closer to me, I have never had my usual outbursts I use to have.
"Alyssa. Fuck off, stop making me repeat myself. I never gave a shit about you. So get out of my face because I swear to god, I will make you regret everything." I'm starting to lose it.
"Stop. Don't say that. You don't mean it, right? And you know my dad, if you try to hurt me.. he will kill you. Nolan, you would have been dead by now if I had told my dad everything you have done to me but I haven't and I won't unless you come back. I will love you with everything I have in me." She begs and I roll my eyes at the comment she made about her dad.
"I meant every single fucking thing that I said. I can kill your dad if I wanted to, I wouldn't mind killing his daughter either." It's hilarious how she thinks her dad is much more powerful than me. I can end him and his career in less than a damn second if I wanted to. The plan was to stay calm but that's almost impossible to do with her.
She's here. I hear the front door open and I can hear footsteps. Kenzie is here. I make eye contact with Alyssa right after we both listen to the footsteps making their way towards us.
"Thank you for breaking Kenzie's heart," she whispers with a sinister grin. Confusion clouds my mind until I feel a sharp needle being stabbed into my arm. Is she seriously drugging me? I try to speak, but my mouth won't cooperate. The pain dissipates, replaced by an eerie numbness. Glaring into Alyssa's eyes, I try to figure out exactly what her twisted plan is as she wraps her arms around me.
Fucking bitch.
Completely helpless, I'm aware of how damning this situation appears. The moment Kenzie walks in, she'll likely assume I'm cheating on her. The proximity between Alyssa and me is uncomfortably close, and it's even worse since Alyssa is still in her bikini rubbing her body again my chest.
I can't even lift my arms to remove Alyssa off me, I can't move. It's like I am paralysed but I can still somehow hear everything and nothing is blurry. My vision is completely clear.
I see the way Alyssa's eyes divert to the direction behind me and I can feel her presence standing there right away. Everything is going wrong today and I will go insane losing Kenzie. I don't even fucking know how Chase is doing.
"What's going on here?" I shut my eyes tightly while listening to her voice speak.
"Oh! Sorry, me and Nolan were just talking about how much we miss each other!" Alyssa squeals, and rage surges through me. I'm utterly powerless to intervene, trapped in a situation where I've never felt so helpless. I silently plead with Kenzie in my mind, urging her not to believe Alyssa's deceptive words. But what else is she supposed to think? The scene before her looks precisely like I'm cheating on her. I don't want to meet Kenzie's gaze, but I force myself to look at her knowing the only thing I'm able to do at the moment is turn my body around.
I turn around meeting her face and my chest aches with pain.
"Really?" She asks sarcastically and I know she's hurt. It's her way to cope, she's acting like she doesn't give a shit but seeing me and Alyssa like this is truly hurting her. I can see through her eyes and I hate the way I can't even give her a hint that this isn't what it seems like.
She's not looking at me at all. Just look at me, please. But she isn't.
"Ye—" Alyssa starts, but Kenzie cuts her off immediately. In this moment, the only thing I crave is Kenzie's comfort. I yearn to hold her tightly, to have her there for me, assuring me that everything will be okay. Yet, just looking at her intensifies the painful pang in my heart.
"I don't give a shit." She snaps and cuts Alyssa off straight away. I know you do.
I suddenly feel relaxed as she finally looks at me, but not directly into my eyes. Just look me in the eye and figure out this isn't what it seems like, Kenz. I can't move my mouth or anything and it's starting to annoy me that she can't take the hint.
"In case you haven't noticed, your best friend is currently in the hospital, having been close to death. I came here to tell you he's okay, but it seems like you don't really care." I look at her and I am glad Chase is okay. Something in me already knew he'd make it. But now that I know, I haven't lost him. I cannot lose Kenzie. I may not be able to do anything right now but as soon I am able to tell her everything, I will.
She's acting distant and I don't blame her. After seeing this, I'd act the same. I feel my heart break as soon as she walks out of the door. Every single thing in me is dying to go after her but it's impossible. I can't talk or even walk properly.
"Now that she's out of our way, I think we can make it work once again." I don't pay any attention on Alyssa, my mind is focused on only one thing. Kenzie. I have most likely already lost her but I am hoping she will forgive me once I have told her everything.
"But right now, we cannot do much. I injected you with a drug that sort of paralyses you and I'm so sorry baby but I had to for the sake of us. I didn't want to hurt you but I had no choice. I can destroy Kenzie just to get her out of our way but I don't want to and I can have you right now but what's the fun in that if you can't even make me feel good as you use to?" She smirks and I clench my fists. What?
I'm suppose to be paralysed but I can clench my fists. I turn to look at her dead in the eye and her face drops.
"It also lasts only a few minutes, babe." She takes a gulp and I can't help but smile. I thought that was a smart move she had done but never mind. Who the fuck uses a drug that only lasts a few minutes?
"This will also last a few minutes." I grab the knife from her, slamming her onto the wall.
"N-nolan.." She stutters and I dig the knife into her bare stomach. I force myself to think about the way she hurt Kenzie, digging even more deeper. Her eyes are wide open as she places her hand on my chest.
"Your lover boy is in hell and I fucking promise you that you'll see him soon." I take the knife out of her as she slides down the wall, falling onto the ground.
I step back as I start feeling dizzy. Everything is starting to become blurry and I feel the way my head pounds with pain all of a sudden. What the fuck is going on? I am beyond confused but that's not what I care about right now, I need to get to Kenzie. I need to find her and tell her everything.
But slowly the dark overcomes my vision..
- - -
"I don't know what the fuck you want me to do! He hasn't woken up for three days now and no one has any idea of when the hell he will wake up." Vanessa screams, I can hear everything but my surroundings feel different and much more fresher.
"He's not dead. We all know he is still breathing and alive, nothings wrong with him. It's the drug that has been used on him and he will wake up soon." I hear the familiar voice, Theo.
What? Three days? What the hell is going on?
"What if he wakes up in a year? What if he never wakes up?" I hear sobs break out from all around me but it's completely dark.
"He will." I can feel someone's touch on my hand. I don't remember anything from when I was last able to see everything and I don't have a single idea about what is going on.
"No way! Did you guys see his fucking hand moved?" One voice questions and I don't realise I am moving my fingers until now.
"Chase! Call the doc now!" Vanessa yells.
"Come on, Nolan. Just open your eyes, come back to us. Please." I remember a lot, things are starting to come back. But I'm struggling with a few things, well not just a few. I actually do not remember much at all.
I can feel my vision starting to become lighter, I can't see a lot but I can see the light around me slightly.
"He's moving which means he's back! I'm not sure when he will open his eyes but I am guessing it'll be very soon. It can be toda-" My eyes slowly start to open as I am taken aback from the light. It's hard to see anything right now because the light is burning my eyes. "Or even now.." The doctor finishes his sentence.
"Oh my god, Nolan!" Everything is now clear, I can see everyone's face and where I am. Chase, Vanessa, Kai, Theo and Miles are looking down at me and they are the first things I see.
"Motherfucker is awake!" Chase grins and suddenly I remember everything. The whole night where he had gotten shot and.. Kenzie.
"Where's Kenzie?" Is the first thing I ask. I don't care or want to know what happened to me, I just want to see Kenzie. I remember what Alyssa did, I remember every single thing.
"She's not here. I don't know if she told you but she has to stay over at her moms for a while," She lied to them, why didn't she tell them what she saw? "And she has no clue what's happened with you, I didn't tell her." Vanessa finishes her sentence.
"I need to talk to her." I start getting up and despite the sharp pain I can still feel all over my body, I don't hold back. I have to talk to her.
"No, you don't. You only just woke up, rest for a bit and then talk to her." Theo forces me back down.
"You guys don't fucking understand! I need to talk to her right now." I want to see her, too.
"Nolan.. you've been unconscious for three days. If you want, I can call her and let her know but stop being so stubborn. We aren't letting you go until you're okay." Three days. It's been three days, and Kenzie has no idea I wasn't even awake until now. Shit. This is just going to make things worse.
"Okay? I am fucking okay and I'll be better when I see Kenzie." I'm already losing my mind and it hasn't even been an hour since I've woken up.
"I just told you she's at her mom's house, and she's okay if that's what your wondering and I'll ask if she's able to come over for a bit, okay? So stop being so fucking difficult, Nolan." Vanessa snaps at me.
"Stop being so obsessive over a girl, you're not going to die if you don't see her." Miles says, looking at me for the first time with a concerned face.
"I don't blame him, we're talking about Kenzie here." Theo jokes, trying to lighten up the mood.
"I need to talk to her, just let me go to her." I continue begging. There's no point in being angry anymore, they're not going to let me go alone.
"In a few hours, all the pain in your body will go away. You'll be back to normal, and you'll be able to meet Kenzie." Chase assures me but he's not in his goofy usual mood. He seems a bit off.
"Now tell us, why the fuck did I walk in on Alyssa's dead body and your body on the floor?" Kai asks. I forgot about all of that, I didn't mean to kill her. I was suppose to only hurt her and then put her through even more pain.
"Kenzie thinks I cheated on her." I tell all the boys, they need to know. I don't want to lie to them and maybe now they'll let me go.
"What?" Chase speaks out first.
"Yeah. Alyssa drugged me with something and I couldn't move. When Kenzie walked in, I couldn't move my arms or hands and Alyssa wrapped her arms around me making it seem like we were hugging. Or fuck knows what it seemed like but I couldn't talk either and she just walked out, I didn't have a chance either to explain myself after I killed Alyssa." I explain myself while they all listen intently.
"But I thought you couldn't move? How did you kill her then?" Miles questions me.
"Because the drug only lasted for a few minutes. As soon as I got the chance, I killed her. But when I did, I just blacked out." I answer. I've calmed down but all I'm doing right now is convincing myself, Kenzie will believe and forgive me.
"She's not dead, Nolan." Kai tells me and I feel a weight lifted off my shoulder. The opportunity is still there, for me to put her through the pain she's put Kenzie through.
"Where is she?" I ask.
"In the basement. I knew you'd want that so when I realised she was still alive, I put her there." I nod, I'm relieved that Kai has done that for me. He's made things a lot more easier now than they were. I don't need to worry about anything but Kenzie.
"We're still not letting you go. Wait till your body is completely pain free, then you may explain yourself to Kenzie." Miles demands. I tell everyone what to do but sometimes it can be Miles, he doesn't show his emotions to us but we all know he cares a lot about us.
"If she has no clue that I wasn't awake for these past few fucking days, she's going to think I really did cheat on her." I'm not going to stop stressing over this until I get to explain myself to her.
"It's fine, I'm sure she will listen to you and understand everything. Once you tell her about the attack Alyssa did on you, she's definitely going to listen to you." Theo reassures me and I don't bother arguing back. All I can do right now is hope that Theo's right.
My eyes travel to Chase and he seems to be lost in thought. I've noticed how he's been acting off, he wasn't when I first woke up though.
"The shipments have arrived, by the way. I'm going to check up on them with Theo and Miles." Kai states and I nod, watching as they leave.
"What's up with you?" I finally ask once it's just me and Chase.
"Nothing." He bluntly answers. Something is definitely wrong.
"When did they let you out of the hospital?" I ask him, I have no idea what happened at the hospital since I wasn't there.
"Thought you forgot I had been shot. But the same night, we left before Kenzie." He replies. Fuck. I've been so worried about Kenzie, she's been the only thing I've been talking about since I have woken up. I wasn't there at the hospital for Chase, and I didn't ask about it when I woke up either.
"Shit," I mumble. "I'm sorry man, I've just.. when you were shot, I couldn't hold the anger inside of me. My first thought was to kill Kieran so I came here first and Alyssa followed me here. That shit with Kenzie went down and then I blacked out otherwise I wanted to be there but I couldn't knowing you'd been shot by my cousin because of me." People around me always get hurt and Chase knows that. There was no way I'd be able to keep myself calm at the hospital with Chase injured.
"It's fine, Nolan." He replies, looking at me now.
This isn't about Kenzie, I know it isn't. Chase would never get mad at me because of Kenzie, they're good friends.
"It's not and you have every right to be mad at me. I shouldn't have abandoned you like that, I should have kept myself and my anger under control." I'm confused while Chase starts laughing.. what?
"Oh my god, Nolan! You have matured so fucking much, I actually can't believe it," I'm offended by the last comment but I can't blame him. I use to never care when Chase would be mad at me, I was probably the most shittest person you could ever met back then until I met Kenzie. She's done something to me. "But seriously, we're good. Nothing is wrong and it wasn't your fault. I just feel special knowing you can't see me injured."
"Oh, shut the fuck up." I hold back my grin.
"She seemed off, I knew something was wrong when she came back to the hospital but I didn't ask. She would've lied." I know who he's already talking about.
"I'm not suppose to care, Chase but I do. She's done something to me and I don't like it. I hate being so attached to a human like this, I've dealt with losing the most important people in my life already. I don't want to go through any of that again but I'm so fucking scared." I admit out loud.
"Don't stop, Nolan. Carry on talking." Chase encourages me to let it out and I do.
"I've let her become an important person to me and I really don't want to mess us up. What we have, I don't want it with anyone but her. I turned out liking her more than I intended to, I wasn't even suppose to fucking like her in the first place but I did. And she's the only thing on my mind all the time, however hard I try to stop thinking about her, I never stop."
"You don't understand how hurt I felt when I saw her face, the way she didn't even look at me. And I know it's because it looked like I was cheating on her but it still hurt me. I admitted the fact that my heart actually broke when she walked off. I wasn't angry, I was just hurt and that shows how attached I have gotten to her."
"And there's no person in this world that I want more than I want her, I can't even imagine hurting her on purpose. I would never, and I know she wouldn't too. I'm trying to become a better person for her, I don't want to treat her like shit," I start laughing. "It's funny that all I want is to be with her. I went from that heartless motherfucker to a guy who wants nothing but a girl."
"Chase, seriously. She is what I look forward to everyday, she's my favourite thing about everyday but if we're seriously done.. I have no idea what I'm going to do."
"Are you sure you're not.. in lo-" I cut Chase off straight away, stopping him from saying that word.
"Shut the fuck up. Don't you dare say it, I've been denying it for a long time now and I don't need a person telling me that I am." It's better if I continue denying it.
"Alright then but all I'm saying is that I think you're in lo-"
"Don't take the piss, I swear to god I will fucking kill you." I cut him off once again.
"Nolan."
"What?" I ask.
"Are you sure like really sure you're not in lo-" I punch him in the dick, making the fucker shut up.
"Vanessa, I don't think we can have kids anymore!" He crouches, groaning and shouting in pain while I laugh at him and his stupidity.
- - -
I'm back guys, I think. But I know I haven't upsTed for so long but it's cause hella shit is happening right now along with school so I've been really unmotivated with updating but I think I'll be publishing another chapter tmrw and the day after that, hopefully.
Anyway I hope you guys liked the chapter and it was alright, also just think you guys should know that a lot of shit is about to happen and I meant a lot.
Sorry for not updating for a while now, guys. I'll try and continue updating frequently on the weekends or the days where I don't have school which is today, I'm not in school because I was too tired.
<3 Thank you for reading, love you guys.
take care :)
-s