넷; daddy issues
park hyeseung
"inchang?" i whisper softly and look up at him.
he looks down at me while he continues to play with my hair.
"hm?"
"can you help me pick out an outfit?"
"sure seung. i'd love to."
i hold onto inchang as he stands up, walking towards my room and closet.
he places me onto my bed softly and opens my closet doors, admiring the different clothes.
"is there a certain way you want to dress?" he asks, looking back at me.
his gaze on me makes me nervous. i wipe my sweaty hands on my knees and move my gaze towards the floor.
"u-um.. something with pants or shorts. i don't w-want him to see me in skirts yet," i reply.
he nods and continues looking.
he picks out a black and yellow striped, cropped sweater out of my closet that had a white collar. i watch as he goes to my drawer, taking out some ripped jeans.
"would this be cute for you?" he asks and i nod.
"you should add fishnets, those'll be pretty," inchang smiles while looking down at me.
i blush deeply and look away from him. i go into my other drawer and pull out my yellow colored fishnets.
i leave to go to my bathroom, showering.
everything will be fine. inchang hyung is going to be nearby. my dad can't judge me for my outfit choice.
i sigh and let the water run down my face and body after i finish washing off.
there's a soft knock on my door.
"seung? it's 3:45."
i turn the water off and get out.
i dry my hair with my towel until it stops dripping then i dry off my small body.
afterwards, i put on my favorite peach scented lotion and clothes.
i spray my peach perfume a little since it can get too strong at times.
i look at myself in the mirror.
i like the outfit my hyung picked. it's pretty.
i blow dry my hair and brush it, parting it in the middle, fixing my fringe.
i smile feeling satisfied with myself.
i use mascara and place a gold necklace my mom gave me around my neck.
i leave the bathroom and see inchang sitting on my bed.
"ready!" i giggle.
he looks up from his phone and smiles at me.
"you look amazing seung!"
i smile shyly and leave my room. my heart pings at his compliment. i feel a tiny amount of heat flush my nose and cheeks.
i cover it with my sweater paws.
"why are you covering your— you're blushing, aren't you?" inchang asks.
i shake my head. "n-no~!"
"yes you are~!" inchang coos and holds my wrists in his large hands.
i look up at him with a red face; it being darker than before.
"don't cover it. it's adorable."
i nod slowly.
"c-can we go now? it's 3:59," i say in a small tone, still embarrassed about what happened seconds before.
inchang lets go of my wrists and goes towards my front door, i follow behind his tall form.
we both put on our shoes and leave.
seeing my dad doesn't seem as hard as it was before. knowing inchang will be there in case anything goes wrong fills me with relief.
i grab a hold of his large hand with my small one. he looks down at me and smiles showing off his perfectly white, straightened smile that i love. despite inchang's looks, he's actually extremely caring.
"where are you meeting him?"
"a hot pot place."
i show my friend my phone so he could see the places' address. he nods and we get into his car.
he puts the address into the gps on his phone. i sit in the passenger seat and put on my seatbelt.
"can we listen to cozy songs?" i ask, looking at the brown haired for an answer.
he hands me the aux and i plug it into my phone, playing wa-r-r by colde. i look out the window and feel the tranquility flood over me.
i let the wind from the crack in the window blow through my brown locks.
i watch the blue sky and the white clouds of all different shapes and sizes flow by slowly; birds and butterflies flying ahead.
inchang holds my hand and i look over at him.
his thumb rubs over the outside of my hand slowly, in a soothing manner.
"thanks for coming hyung."
"anything for you hyeseung."
my heart flutters at that. he always knows how to say the right thing.
i go back to looking out the window and admiring the sky as we pull up towards the hot pot place.
i let go of inchang's hand and open the door, ready to get out.
his hand wraps itself around my wrist.
i sit back down and look over at him.
"what i—"
he grabs ahold of my chin in his other hand, tilting my head. he kisses my cheek.
"you got this!"
my cheeks flush and i look away, nodding.
i leave his car and nervously make my way towards the restaurant.
i enter and look around.
he waves his hand and i go over. i sit across from him.
"hey hyeseung. how are you?" he asks and swirls his straw in his icy water.
"i'm okay. y-you?"
i inhale and exhale slowly.
"there's something you want to say. isn't there?"
i play with the fishnets seeping through the rips of my jeans with shaky hands.
"why are you here? n-now of all times?"
he stops swirling his straw around. the water slowing down the circulation until it all stands still.
he clears his throat.
i look at him quizzically with a tilt of my head.
"well," he starts.
he looks nervous. the way he can't properly say it out loud makes my theory seem more true.
"i have another child now and they keep asking about you from the pictures in my home," he says.
i look up from my lap and towards him. our eyes meeting.
all of this for his new child?
"why do you even keep photos of me? you're the one who left," i bitterly reply in a mumble.
i squeeze my fist together feeling my nails start to tear into the skin of my palms.
"you fucking left.. i'm not going to be around for your child that you'll probably leave in the dust when you get the opportunity."
"hyeseung.. it's not like that. i was having issues.." he trails off.
"what kind of issues? issues with commitment to a child and the birth giver?" i ask, standing up out of my seat.
"i have fucking schizophrenia and insomnia, okay!? what the hell do you expect me to do when i wasn't even mentally well enough to take care of you?" he replies loudly.
people in the hot pot restaurant turn their heads towards us. including inchang.
"you don't understand how hard it is to take care of a child when you can't sleep and hear voices in your head telling you to do the opposite."
"then why didn't you try sooner? you have a child now, who's what? four? five?"
"seven."
"so you could've reached out seven years ago.. you don't care about me. you never have."
i turn around from the table with my hands balled up at my side.
i feel someone wrap their hand around my wrist and i pull my arm away.
"let go of me," i yell shakily.
i look over to see my dad with tears in his eyes.
"leave me alone! i mean it," i say.
"please hyeseung? i never intended to leave. i had to get better for you. i didn't want to accidentally hurt you."
"instead you hurt me on purpose."
"it wasn't my intention. i mean it, please?" my dad asks and he grabs my hands in his, holding them.
i hate the stares we got from other people in the restaurant. i try my best to pull out of his grip but i couldn't. i'm weak compared to him.
i see inchang's silver ring on his hand as he takes his hands off mine.
i look up at him and smile sadly.
"i think you should stop. let's go hyeseung," inchang firmly says and wraps his arm around my shoulder.
we leave the restaurant and the tears fell. inchang embraces me and i stuff my face into his black shirt that covered his chest.
his strong arms wrap around me and he pats my head.
"shh.. it's okay. it's over now," he whispers softly.
i continue crying into his chest, unsure of what to think of my dad.
he rubs my back just how i like it, up and down.
he plays with my hair and continues to whisper encouraging words.
i tune him out, starting to feel tired.
he pulls away slightly and i look up at him.
"sleepy?"
i nod my head.
"you can spend the night at my place."
i nod sleepily, barely processing what he's talking about.
we get into the car and inchang gives me his jacket to place over my tiny body.
i thank him and lean my seat back a little. while staring outside the window, i become more tired.
i close my eyes and let myself drift off to sleep.