I snatch the phone out of his hand and forcefully punch in my number. When it comes time for me to add a contact name I pause; ‘Emma Swan’ feels too formal, but just ‘Emma’ seems too similar to the woman in my head that I am trying so hard to ignore. I finally settle on ‘Swan,’ I can't explain why but I always feel at home when he calls me that.
He grins at me as I hand it back. I try so hard to not look him in the eyes. I finally storm back to my car, the more time I spend around him, the more I look at him, the worse I feel about what I have been putting the both of us through.
Why can I just accept him? It’s clear that the only thing he wants or cares about in this town is me ... or the Savior, I can't really keep us straight anymore. He is the only person, besides Henry, that feels right to me. It takes everything in me not to run off and find him every day. I need that bloody pirate, and I don't even know who he is.
I know why I can accept him! It’s because he’s a pirate, a lying, cheating, deceitful pirate. There is no way I could ever trust him, there is no way I could ever give myself entirely to him. Even though he feels right, perfect even, my entire life was turned upside down when he first came. He wants me to believe I'm some “fairytale Princess from another world,” really? But then again … could I really be her? The visions, the memories, they all seem so … real. What if the curse really happened, what if I really forgot everything and everyone? God, how could I even think that; it's crazy, I'm crazy to even think for a second that the curse was, is real.
I shake my head as I pull my phone out of my back pocket. I have a new message notification from … from Killian. I reluctantly open it.
“ I'm on my way to talk to Neal, anything you want me to tell him.” - Killian
I sigh, why would he ever want to go to talk to Neal, how would he even know that bastard? I begin to type my response.
“Just ask him why he would leave me, and what I did wrong.” - Emma
Almost instantly feel a buzz and slowly pull my phone back out.
“Of course love. I hope to get to see you again soon.” - Killian
I go to text back when I think better of it, I don't want to encourage him. I continue to walk down Main Street, lost in my own thoughts. I eventually find myself wandering to Regina's house, where I know Henry will probably be.
I push open the iron gate and make my way down the walkway, I knock loudly on the door. A grinning Regina answers and ushers me inside.
“Will you take them,” she asks while motioning to the small children clinging to her arms and torso as a follow her into her office.
“Of course,” I reply as I place the two of them on my opposite hips. I can't explain why, but this position almost feels natural … familiar. Did the Savior have a child, could that explain why I am so comfortable around young children? I quickly push the thought away, that would be impossible … I must just be remembering Henry as an infant; but that would have been so long ago … why would I only be remembering that sensation now? I shrug as I focus back down on the children in my arms.
Marian and Daniel Locksley were born just two and a half years ago to proud parents Regina and Robin. It was almost 5 years ago that they were married, and I was the maid of honor in the service. This is the one day my fuzzy memories that I can still see clearly. The service was held in the deep forest, the light shone down through the branches painting a serene and beautiful landscape almost as if it came straight out of a storybook.
I remember spending a majority of my time with a man that day, he was Robin’s best man. As I sit down on the couch and Regina go to get us drinks, I begin to think more and more about this man. I recall having him holding me close, dancing with me at the reception, his warm breath on my neck ... that night was the last time I remember being truly happy. I cannot place a name with the man, but I can still picture him. He had vibrant blue eyes that shimmered in the sunlight. He had a wide grin that made my heart race, his face would light up whenever our eyes would meet. We were in love, then how come I can't remember him?
Right as I begin to think that I have no other memory of him, one suddenly pops into my mind.
We stand on the dance floor, my bright red dress brushes the ground as he slowly will leads us around the room. I lift my head out of the crook of his neck and place my hand on his cheek. He grins as he takes my hand and kisses it sweetly.
“Are we really ready for this,” I say. “It's a big step, and things never really seem to go well for people like us. I love you more than anyone, but this is -”
“Emma,” he interrupts. “I knew you were the one for me since we met on that bloody beanstalk all those years ago. You were so scared to open up, and now that you have I'm never letting you go. This has been how many years in the making, I can’t lose you again. We’ll get through this curse. Plus,” he smiles. “There was a no return policy on this thing.” I smile as he interlocks my fingers with mine and pulls our hands up in between our chests. He begins to roll a ring back and forth over my finger, we giggle as he place his hands back -
The ring.
My Ring.
“Killian,” I whisper. I can feel tears beginning to run down my face, how could the man be him? These are my own memories, they have not been altered or affected by what has happened in the past weeks … maybe I did know him.
“Mom, mom what’s wrong,” Henry says as he runs into the room and sits down next to me, he takes my hand and steadies me. “Was it, is it him?” I give small nod as Regina and Robin enter the room hand in hand.
“Emma,” Robin says. “What’s wrong.”
“Killian,” I whisper. “He was there …”
“Where, where was Hook, I mean Killian?” Regina asks as she sits down on the couch next to me.
“The wedding, your wedding,” I stutter. “He was there with me at the wedding, we were dancing, we were … we were engaged; but I just don’t understand how -”
“Emma,” Robin says as he takes my hand and kneels down in front of me. “You must have been imagining things, after all that has happened you must have -”
“No,” I interject. “This is real, these are my own memories, and he was there with me. I think, I know that I loved him … then why can’t I remember him, what happened to us?” I pause and turn my head so that I’m facing my son. “Henry, do you know Killian?” He looks sheepishly back at me.
“I don’t, I can’t remember him,” he begins. “But the storybook … it said that he was your fiance, but you never got to be married before a curse threw us back here to Storybrooke 5 years ago. Regina and Robin’s wedding was the last night before the curse hit, the last night we had together as a family, the last night before you two lost each other.” I notice that tears have begun to silently stream down my face.
“But I’m not her, I can’t be her … I’m no Savior,” I say.
“God, you’re just as blind this time as you were originally,” Regina mumbles as Robin gives her a dirty look.
“Do you trust him?” Robin says quietly.
“What?”
“Do you trust Killian?” He repeats.
“Yes … no … I’m not sure.”
“Well,” Regina says. “Do you want to trust him.”
“Yes,” I say strongly. “If my memories are real, and if his feelings for me are as strong as he says they are, I think I owe it to the both of us.”
“Then, I guess we all know what you have to do,” Regina says slowly. I nod as I, still shaking, pull out my phone and begin to craft a text to Killian.
“I want to give you another chance, meet me at Granny’s tonight at 5. I need to talk to you. - Emma”
I exhale sharply as I slide my phone back into my pocket. God, I hope I haven’t made a mistake.
A/N ~ Hey Dearies! How did you like this update? Please let me know if there are any typos, I am working on homework so I never had the chance to proofread! Have a great day everyone!