Warning: Comedy, Language, Anger, August, and Fluff
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Do you ever wonder, "Can babies magically pop up in thin air? If yes, What would it be like?"; and what will the Mischief God and you do?
Hmm. The possibility seems just wanting to answer our question too.
8:45 AM
The gang was having; a peaceful breakfast together, and someone happens to ruin that sweet bubble.
"Alright, everyone, gets ready! We're training today!" Steve announced, walking into the compound kitchen. Having everyone's voices overlapping one another annoyed.
"Why?" Thor pouts, looking heartbroken from his pop tarts.
"Didn't we do it on Tuesday?" Clint whined, stuffing his mouth with grumble eggs, slouching in his seat.
"Ughh... I just wanted my waffles in peace..." Tony moans, rolling his eyes, poking his plate of food depressed.
Wanda and Natasha saying something from the back, Peter internally crying in silence from the corner, just wanting a frozen yogurt. And a unbothered Loki with his tea and a "I.already.knew.so.quit.complaining.mortals.deal.with.it" peach face. But his mind was somewhere else, thinking about something.
"We are. Again the better. Stop complaining and munch your foods faster." Steve said, unimpressed with everyone's complainants walking off with his bottle of water. In that simultaneous moment, you walk in gleefully.
"What's popping, everyone?" You shout excitedly, hopping through the kitchen entry. No reaction.
"Ah~ So the Cap burst your happy bubble. Eh, I knew already." You shrugged, smiling skipping, to the gods by the kitchen island.
"Hiya Thor! Loki!" You, plopping in between the both of them.
"Morning." Loki greeted in monotone.
"Morning...." Thor answered flatly.
"Gezz... To say bursting you bubble, who in the world licked your toes instead." You irked at the two gods' responses.
Instead of answering, Loki turns his side gives you an uncaring look; but signaling for you both to mind read each other. You raise a brow. Then it hit you.
"You said you'll stay out of their issue! I'm not siding with no one, either are you." You protest, pouring your cereal and making a frustrated face while doing so.
"But (Y--" Loki reasons placing his teacup down, you beat him to it before he even starts.
"No. Zane will be yeeting your hair off before you even could blink. And Nang will dislocate my whole body if we even come close to help 'situate' their problem. So, no. I don't want to die. I need my body to function." You said sternly, shoving the scope of cereal into your mouth.
"But they're fighting~" Loki whines, annoyed at the fact that you're not even caring but instead are eating.
"Not my problem." You shrugged, munching away your food.
"(Y/N)." He calls you name.
"(Y/N)." He repeats you're still eating, not bugging.
"(Y/n)!" Loki shouts, snatching your bowl of cereal.
"Hey! I'm in the middle of EATING!" You yelled, startled, trying to get your food back.
"No, You're not listening!" Loki shot, back lift your cereal higher in the air.
"Look here, Mister, you're.savoir.is.here, last time I check, you did that and gotten yourself yeeted out the window, and I was knocked out, without even knowing shit. So, sorry if I'm eating AND SEEMS THAT I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT MY FRIENDS FIGHTING FOR CRAP I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!" You angrily howl, swirling your spoon aggressively to Loki's face.
"Oh, wait. I do know— the point is! Stay out of it. Now, give me back my food." You demand. Loki still didn't budge; he was only irritated.
"No. Not until we do something about it!" He raised his voice, not giving your food back.
"What? Are you mad? What are you going to do, huh? Turn them into some infants and putting them into a corner, saying, "Now children play nice~ and APOLOGIZE!" You nincompoop! Who the hell would do that!? They'll only fight more!" You popped your remark growling at Loki.
He seems to be having deep thought, 'nows your chance!' you thought to yourself maliciously smirking. When Loki wasn't paying attention, in one quick, motion you flick his nose hard.
"AH!" He yelps, grabbing his noise in pain, and you snatching your bowl back running away. "HA! That's what you get, you big meanie." pointing your tongue out, mocking him from the other side of the kitchen island.
"Pfft. To say Zane and Nang's fighting, but look at who's fighting instead." Sam retort opening the refrigerator laughing. "Right? Reindeer games, you have some weird type pla---" Loki flings a pancake into Tony's mouth.
"Better. Wanna try?" Loki, gesturing to Sam. Upon hearing Tony choking in back, Sam's smile tightens as he takes long steps away from Loki. Who holds a piece in his hand, smirking.
"I.. I... I'm just going to enjoy my orange juicy from over here, hehe. Don't mind me, carry on--" Sam scrambling away to the other side.
"Finally. Any---" Loki rolled his eyes but stopped mid-sentence upon seeing someone.
"Good morning, everyone." Nang greeted, walking into the kitchen smiling. "Good morning Nang! How's your day?!" Loki's voice, pitching up high.
"Um... Great, I guess? What's up with your voice? Why are you talking like that? Are you sick, Loki?" Nang inquirer looking at him up; and down confused. "What?! PffT! n NO! I'M FINE--! I'M DOINFF GRFAT!" Loki's voice, stammer waving his hand in dismissal.
"Then why are you talking like that? All high pitch and stuttering. Your vocabulary doesn't even make sense." Nang asked, making a puzzled face, holding her scrambled eggs.
"What? I am?" Loki, popping his eyes bigger like he, was caught in some sort of lie. "You know what, forget it." She chuckles, turning away, seeing a grinning Thor. Simultaneously someone appeared at the wrong time too. "What's up, everyone!" Zane beams zapping through in thin air.
"Oh.." Zane stops plotting his feet down on the ground, making eye contact with Nang.
The world stopped, and the air around them thickens. Everyone stopped breathing. Zane and Nang both having a whole stare-down contest, the team looking back and forth thinking what to do. You and Loki, on the other hand, making weird faces gesturing to say what next to stop the tension.
You and Loki mind reading one another:
"You say something! Quick!" Loki mouthed to you silently.
"No! You!" You did it back angrily.
"No, yOU--!" He internally screams.
"Bitch! I'm in the middle of eating." You blinked raptly, making an unreadable face.
"Like I care!? I greeted her already! You say something this time!" Loki; scrunching up his nose, wiggling his brows in different movements.
"Bit--" You protest, but he cut you off.
"Do it!!!" He popped.
"Ahem, So--" You tried to speak.
"I'm full now. I will meet you all down in the training room. See you later~" Nang calmly says, placing down her untouched breakfast walking out.
"But you didn't even touch it?!" Loki shrill, jumping out of his seat. But she ignores the god leaving to the training gym.
"Eh. Suit herself." Zane waited to say till Nang was out of earshot. Loki, snapping his neck towards, Zane was upset, but Zane shrugged unbothered.
Together You and Loki both; huff out in irritation, shaking your heads annoy.
Do.wap.do.wAp.dO.waP.dooOOO~~ (Brought to you by Word World)
"Body stretch first; then 30 pushups, 20 squats, 20 pull-ups, and 4 miles to cool off. After we will meet inside the gym to practice our punches." Steve enlighten, standing with his hands on his hips.
"And what about you, Captain?" Tony crossed his arms, irritated. "Doing the same. Now get into positions." Steve, narrowing his eyes towards Tony. Only a few of them started to get into positions, causing Steve to huff out frustrated.
"NOW!" He roars using his authoritative voice. The men's complained, walking to the folding floor mats.
"Alright, we got it." Sam hurried.
"Gezz.. who kissed his America ass..." Tony mutter under his breath.
"You did." Bruce hushes him.
Thor and Loki rolled their eyes, walking towards the others who were waiting.
~~~~~~~~~
After the full, warm-up's everyone was out of breath, breathing hard. Nang and Zane avoided one another throughout everything; except talking with everyone else. It was like them both killing each other from afar. You don't want to be apart.
"I. So. Will. Never. EVER. BE. BORN. TOO. BECOME. AN. AVENGER. AGAIN---!" You huff and buff each step you take, falling dramatically down onto the floor mat with a thump.
"Now let's start with the training basics'! No using powers, only your body strength." Steve holler down the bleacher.
"Bitch wait! Let me breathe, you ass nugget! I just got here not even a second!" You sat up exhausted and pissed off. "Then you should have worked harder. It's just a warm-up." He grinned, walking towards the water jug.
"Nang~ help me, your uncle is being mean~" You whine, pulling her down. "Help yourself. Hehe, not like he'll listen anyways." Nang, looking at you weirdly chuckling. "Ugh, you won't even help a friend." When you did that, it was like you touched a nerve that was prohibited. Nang's smile disappeared in a blink, yanking your arms harshly away from her.
"Huh?" You stood up dumbfounded. You look at Loki for an answer, but he only rolls his eyes shaking his head. "Did I say something wrong?" You asked. "What did you think you didn't say?" Loki crossed his arms, staring at you unsympathetic.
"Ah, SHIT!" You swear, loud enough for both of you to hear. "Get over here, you two!" Bruce shouts.
"Now I need a volunteer who wants to demonstrate with me? Who wants to?" Steve asked standing, in the center, waiting. "I will!" Zane raises his hand when no one answers. "Alright, kid, come up." Steve gesture his hand towards Zane.
After demonstrating a few moves to the team to see, everyone took turns practicing with Zane.
*Plop*
"Ugh! Zane. that hurts like shit!" Peter shriek his back in pain. "Sorry, Pete, better luck next time." Zane patted his back, encouraging. "Now, who's next?!" He smiles from ear to ear stands back up.
"Nang's next," Steve answers, looking at his list. Everyone stopped chatting and looked at the two.
You and Loki, taking glances at each other. You move closer to Loki. "How do you think this will end?" You whispered. "Hehe... let us see if they don't kill each other---Ow!" He tries to joke, but you nudged his rib cage forcefully.
"They're both like two strong ass bulls. What if they don't make it out?" You anxiously query, looking over to the two. "We'll have to see... hm.. that hurts (Y/n)." Loki groans in pain, rubbing his stomach. Instead of being concern, you hush him with your hand.
"Oh.. okay." Zane, turning away second composing him. "Alright, so, I'm the attacker, so block my blow, okay. Ready?" He informs, fixing his feet posture. "Always." She clutched her hands, fixing her feet as well.
'Go easy on her.' he thought quietly to himself.
Zane ran, lunging forward. Swinging his right fist towards her face, but Nang knew better. She grabbed his hand, twisting his arm fully. Whirl him back towards her. In one forceful kick to his back, Zane flew to the other side of the mat.
"WAHOO! That's it, girl!"
"That's my BEST FRIEND!"
Wanda and You cheering together. Nang composed herself up, waving to the team.
"I gotta give it to you, Nang; You're getting good." Zane chuckles, getting up. "We'll see." Nang grinned. "Is that a challenge?" Zane teases. "Nope. A warning." She smirked, getting into position again. "I like it, challenge accepted." His side smiled.
"Another!" Thor cheers waving his arms proudly.
"Don't let me down, Zane!" Clint hollers into his hand around his mouth to be louder.
'Nope. Nope. Just nope. It isn't going to end well.' Loki crossed his arms, shaking his head, disappointed.
"Looks like we have a crowd." Zane laughs, staring at the group from the corner of his eyes. "Eh. I could care less." Nang mutters, but he heard it.
Unexpectedly she charges towards Zane, who wasn't paying attention. He leaps over her, but Nang was quicker, yanking his legs down, backhanding him into the chest. Zane recovers quickly, strangling her neck with his left arm.
"What's wrong? Can't move?" Zane's taunts breathing down Nang's neck. "I'm just getting started." She smirks. "Wha---!!!" Zane's words; were cut short when Nang used her left leg hooking to his, breaking Zane's balance.
With that clear move, she swinging his body, with full; volume over her pity fame, onto the mat in a painful thump. Knocking; the air out of Zane.
"Loki, you shit head, did you see that?! Nang kicked his ass! AHAHA!! GO NANG!!!" You, aggressively shaking his neck in excitement. What you didn't know was, you were choking the life out of Loki, him trying to wiggle out of your grasp. But no one noticed. Everyone was busy cheering and shouts.
"UGH! What was that for?!" Zane groans in pain when his head hits the mat. "It's call self-defense, flatter boy." She gave a botox smile hovering over his body. She brushes his arms off of her as she got up.
"I was going easy on you! The least you could do is not hurt people." Zane accused her as he geta up in pain. "Huh? You, were? I didn't notice." Nang raises a brow, questioning, crossing her arms.
"I had enough of your attitude. I've tried being nice, but you had been acting like a little bitch, since this morning!" He yelled, storming up towards her. "Zane! Language!" Steve jogged over to them. The fun atmosphere suddenly shifted. "Oh, sweetheart, and why is that?" Nang smile calmly, still standing her ground unflinching.
"Oh, shit," Loki whispered, wide eyes staring at them then back to you. "Um... this isn't good." You said through your teeth.
"If you have a problem, why not say to my face now?! Other than using your anger throwing people!" Zane bawl, pointing his index finger. "I don't have time for your childish shit, Zane. Get over it." Nang walked off. "I'm not done talking!" He pulled her shoulder back, but Nang hit his hand away.
"Don't touch me." She snarled, moving back.
"You are taking this dumbly personal. You're not all that special, Zane; This is our training section. Who told you to go easy? Your pride?" She scoffs, rolling her eyes. And that seems to have touched a nerve.
"Nang!" Steve warned, pulling her back.
"You---" Zane moved forward, about to swear again.
"Stop it! Enough!" Steve blocked him from Nang.
"Don't block him, uncle Steve; let the child say what he wants." She taunts, stepping up closer, but Steve pushed her back. "Child?! You are the one who is like one." Zane growls. "Huh, you have some audacity to say that kind of shit." She smirked, shoving Steve to god knows where.
"What you want, a baby fight?" He mocks, clutching his fist tightly. A mist of smoke appeared around Zane.
"Oh, such temptation, maybe for you. I don't care." Her eyes suddenly glow gold. Zane throws the first punch, hitting Nang in the face forcefully. Nang, stumbling back a few steps.
She looks up, locking eyes with Zane, and wickedly smirks, spitting out a bit of blood. Her expression shown no pain or discomfort. Loki and You; hopped at your feet, alert, running down the bleachers. Everyone else was scrambling around to get them to stop.
In one blink, Nang whipped around, front kicking Zane in the gut, sending him crashing into the equipment Steve set out for your training sections.
"Finally, got your anger out. Oh, Zane, you thought too highly of yourself." Nang laughed out wholeheartedly, tilting her head to the side.
"What?" He was baffled, frowning, struggling to get up. Nang, taking intimating steps towards him, but Loki jumped in.
"Nang, stop! Is madness! You don't want this!" He tried to ease the tension. But she shoves him indignantly away from her. "You fuck off! All of you are assholes! I have been civil with all of you, but you," Pointing her hand, "you have been nothing but bitches. You think hurting someone, especially a fucken friend, and coming back acting like everything's alright?!" She snarled, her voice rough, burning eyes narrowing towards Zane, who you were running towards to help.
"It was just a prank!" Loki tries to reason. But that just escalated everything. Nang, snapping her head to Loki. "Just. A. Fucken. Prank!" She roars, flaring nostrils. Loki bit his tongue, mentally punching himself for saying that. The rest of the team themselves in the back getting their gear on getting ready to stop them.
"I didn't mean it like that. I meant---" Loki tries to rephrase, Nang's angry expression suddenly melted away, having him stopped surprised. "Then this is a prank too." She sweetly says.
"Wha---" In slow motion, Nang's eyes glow gold again, her arm swifts up, aiming her fist directly into Loki's chest, blasting him a supersonic punch.
"Whoops. Sorry love, it was just a harmless tap." She grins, looking away from where Loki flew, staring intensely at Zane. "Come on, Zane, it's just a harmless prank," She walks towards him, taunting sweetly again. "It'll be fun~!" She cheerful sang.
"Nang, no." Steve voiced from behind her. She didn't care; she kept moving. "Come on, Zane~," Nang repeats. Zane roughly thrust you out of his way, falling over Loki with a thump. You busted head.
"Those fuckers!" You curse your head, trying to ease the pain. Loki did the same with his injured chest. "Yeah, next time, fall in the other direction. Not on me." Pushing you off of him. "Like I was in control, I yeeted." You elbow him. "No fighting! Those two are enough already! Look!" Sam separating you both, turning to see, everything was a mess.
Nang and Zane are toning each other to shreds. Blood cuts on both of their faces and arms. Everyone was trying to stop them but is only being throw in another direction. "How in the hell; they both are murdering this far already?! I fell over not even a second!" You screamed flabbergasted. At this point, you had completely forgotten about the purple bruise that was forming on your forehead.
"Loki! Do something!"
"Do what?! I just got strike a minute ago, you!"
While you both are bickering, Zane throws Nang across the room. Bucky, running over tackling Zane down. Thor, shifting back and forth, blocking Nang's view. Which wasn't helping; it only angers her more. Nang, swirling her hands in a circular motion, creating a gust of wind, sending Thor into the hard metal bleachers, slamming into with dreadful bang.
"That's it! You all could stop them if you want! I yield! I yield~~ Ugh-!" Thor wails, painfully waving his hand in surrender.
Zane flings Bucky away, causing his mental arm to fly off. "My arm!" Bucky ran after his arm.
Magically they both summoned swords in their hands. "How the hell is that even possible?!" Petrified that you are witnessing this. "I guess anything is possible when you're pissed off." Loki, going into shock mode. "Oh my god, Loki! They're going to kill each other!" You shriek, seeing them charging toward one another.
You and Loki blot see them charging towards one another. Loki, tackling Nang down, and you pouncing Zane. "Get off of me, you bitch!" Nang growls, kicking Loki in his family jewels. "n... NO!" He hissed, in pain, while you were in the back holding Zane down.
One excruciating kick again into his gold, Loki lets Nang go, rolling back letting out an agonizing cry. You turn your head upon hearing Loki's cry. Zane took that chance kicking you off.
Zane and Nang stood huffing. Only silence filled the air, along with you and everyone else groaning in the background in pain and struggling.
"Let's end this." Zane huffing, charging to attack. "I'll be delighted." She smirked, running at full speed. "NO!" You and Loki, shout horrified, seeing Zane, who was about to strike lightning into Nang's chest.
Quickly, Loki shot up, sending an energy blast, zapping the lightning. Creating; a sonic boom, a horrifying explosion. Shoots through the room. Mist of heavy wind wipes everyone, flying backward. Sounds of glasses breaking.
Everything was silent. Slowly you stood up in no pain. 'Wait? Shouldn't I be crying in pain? Why don't I feel anything?!' Your breathing labored, "Oh my god?! Am I dead?!' You panic, feeling over your face and body. 'I'm.. not.. dead...?' You leisurely realized.
"(Y/n)...?" You heard someone faintly calls. Looking around, you found whose voice it was. It was Loki's, who was sitting and leaning on the wall injured. He was not a sight to see. A beat-up face looked half broken too, and a bloody nose. "Oh my god! Are you alright, Loki?!" You shout, running to help him. Pinching the nasal bridge to stop the bleeding, he yelps from the sudden pain.
"What happened?" He asked, trying to use his eyes to look around. Since he can't look around because you tilted his head backstop the nosebleed. "I don't know." You whisper, you, looked around.
Everything ruined. Training pieces; were destroyed. Glass windows shattered. Scattering. All over the floors. The members all passed out; you were for sure it was from the explosion impact. And a baby.
"Wait, a baby?!" You shout, snapping your head to look back again; in case you were hallucinating.
"Huh? A what?" Loki queries, tilting his to the side, trying to see what you just said.
"Um... did the explosion knocks me out too hard or what? Because I see a baby Loki." You questioned out loud, pulling him up to see. The both of you are staring back at one another, thinking, 'Why the hell is a baby doing here?!'.
You moved away from Loki, taking steady steps towards the infant. The baby giggled, "Stop! What if it's contagious?!" Loki, being alert pulling you away. "Bitch, it's a damn baby!" You, shoving him to the side. "We don't know for sure." He firmly barks you back. "Move, Loki." You sternly argued, back unmoving. Just when Loki was about to argue again, the baby giggles cheerfully, staring at the two of you.
You both stiffly turning to look back. "Um. On second thought, do as you please. Hehe." Loki; anxiously shoving you towards the baby, using you as protecting shield. You, glaring at him, "Pussy cat," muttered, rolling your eyes.
"Um... hiya baby... Oh shit, I'm not good at this." You tried to baby talk with the infant but fail miserably. But the baby just looked at you weird. Loki, looking, from behind, afraid but trying to surpass a laugh. "Can you talk?" You asked the baby, but the baby is just making bubble sounds happily clapping. "Hehe, I'm not sure it understands you (Y/n)." Loki laughs out.
"I figured. It was worth a try." You rolled your eyes, annoyed.
Then there was a sound. It was none other than a baby crying. "Loki, go see." Nudge him to go, but he gave you an 'I think not' bitch face. "GO!" You shove him more, picking up the child.
Loki was having a hard time whether or not to go, the broken glasses scattered everywhere. 'What if I cut myself? Or worse, what if I cut the baby itself?! What if---"
*THUMP!* *CRIES*
His thought trace stopped from a heartbreaking baby cry. His heart dropped, sprinting towards the sobbing infant. Uncaring about the shattered glasses. In his thought process was saving the baby; from whatever danger. And so, the man ran like his life depended on it.
Loki carefully using his telekinesis powers, moving away from the infant from the broken glasses. The baby safely drifted into his arms. Delicately he moves the baby's hair seeing a terrible bleeding cut on its forehead. Leaving him heart-rendering. "(Y/n)! These bloody bastard glass harm this pitiful child for no reason!" He wails angrily, shushing the squirming infant.
"Um... Loki. I think this Zane that I'm holding here." Intensely staring at the child in front of you. "Nang...?" He asked himself, looking down. The child Loki was holding cried continuously to no end, waking up the unconscious members.
"Pepper Morgan's crying!" Tony complained, sitting up. "Wait? Morgan's already five! Who's baby's crying here!" Jumping up alert. "You stole a baby?!" Tony accused, pointing to Loki. At this point, everyone was gathering around.
"Bloody hell like I would. I think it was much quieter when you blacked out Stark." Loki, walking to you. "What, baby?" Steve asked, looking over, "NANG?!" He screams, almost popping his eyes out. "Oh my god! My niece turned into a baby?! HOW?!" Steve, panicking, causing baby Nang to sob tearfully. "SHSHSH!!!" Loki hushes him harshly.
"Where's Bruce? They need to be check, especially Nang's cut." You looked for Bruce. "I'm here!" He shouts under pile ash and broken walls.
"What about the blood?! It needs to stop!" Steve panics. "Um. Let me try this." Loki responds, thinks he can heal her. A mist glowing green light appeared on his index finger; he mumbles an ancient Asgardian mythology spell. It seems to be working. Suddenly it zapped her. She stopped breathing.
~~~~~|| To be continued...
What happened next? Stay tuned...🙃