"emotional affair, overly sincere / smoking in the car / windows up / crocodile tears."
~
Dead Calm
"You are... absolutely stunning," JJ said, his voice steady, his fingers running over Tate's bare thigh.
Tate laughed softly and nestled down further in the bed of Topper's pickup truck. "You're drunk," she giggled. "And this was such a bad idea."
"It's a free ride," said JJ, giving her a goofy grin that made all of Tate's worries go away. "Why should we walk anywhere when we got idiots like Topper who have pickup trucks for no good reason? We're just... taking advantage... of our assets."
Tate shook her head, smiling softly down at JJ's hand on her leg. They were sitting across from each other in the cramped bed of the truck, speeding down the main stretch of road on the island. It had been JJ's idea to catch a ride to whatever party Topper was going to that night and crash it. They'd had a few drinks on the beach beforehand and had smoked maybe a little too much weed and now there they were, hair blowing in the wind, possibly risking their lives just for a party. It was fitting, in a way. "At least we're not boring," Tate murmured, more to herself than to JJ.
"Damn right we're not!"
"Shhh, keep your voice down," Tate scolded, but her shoulders were shaking with soft laughter. It was the kind of night where everything felt funny. Tate was feeling loopy, like her bones were bending in weird ways and her head was buzzing.
When at last the truck slowed down and turned up a dark street, heading towards one of the bigger mansions on the other side of the island, Tate and JJ had the sense to crawl from their hiding spot under the back window and get ready to jump. If Topper found them, it would be disastrous for sure. "Okay, ready?" JJ asked, his hand slipping into Tate's as they crouched together at the edge of the bed. "We'll jump together on the count of three." Tate nodded her head and squeezed his hand harder. "One... two... three-" They toppled out of the slow-moving truck and landed haphazardly, both rolling on the ground and not even attempting to stand up. Tate was so high, the entire world felt heavy under her. "Man, gravity's so weird," JJ murmured as they watched the tail lights of Topper's truck disappear into the long line of cars parking outside the mansion.
"Come on, weirdo," Tate said, forcing herself to stand up and then taking JJ's hand and making him do the same. "Let's check out what these rich kids get up to."
JJ and Tate leaned on each other for support as they made their way up the hill to the huge house, teeming with people and booming with loud music. Tate held her head up high and pretended to belong. "I'm hungry," she said to JJ, who leaned down to hear her and then nodded. They made their way over to the food table.
"God, I could eat all of this shit right now," JJ said, reaching for a piece of pizza. "This is the good stuff here. These Kooks know how to eat!" He said the last part loud enough for the surrounding people to hear, but nobody seemed to care. He got a few scattered cheers, and then Tate caught sight of Rafe making his way towards them through the crowd.
"Bogey, two o'clock," she muttered, grabbing JJ's arm and pulling him out to the backyard, where people were milling about everywhere. It would be harder for Rafe to find them in the dark, and Tate really didn't feel like talking to Rafe. She pulled a cigarette out and lit it, taking a drag and sending smoke out into the night air.
"Those'll kill you," a voice came from behind them.
Tate's shoulders slumped. She'd tried so hard to get away from Rafe. "You're one to talk," she scoffed, losing her balance and playing it off by leaning back into JJ's chest. He wrapped an arm around her stomach from behind and kissed the top of her head.
Rafe looked annoyed, but he didn't mention it. "Look, Tate, I actually needed to talk to you." Neither Tate nor JJ moved. "Like... alone."
"About what?" asked JJ.
"That's none of your business, man," Rafe shot back, but he looked more apprehensive after JJ had threatened him the day John B was in the hospital.
Tate sighed and disentangled herself from JJ's arms. "Okay, but make it quick."
"Wait, what?" said JJ, grabbing Tate's hand and holding her back.
She gave him a quizzical look. "I'm just gonna get this over with real quick."
"Get it over- no- you don't have to talk to him, Tate," JJ said. "In fact, you probably shouldn't talk to him."
Rafe smirked. "Why? because her big, scary boyfriend's always gonna be there to protect her?"
"Shut up," Tate snapped. "And yeah, I'll just be a minute." She pulled herself out of JJ's grasp. "You don't get to determine who I talk to."
"Ohhh, trouble in paradise?" said Rafe, looking throughly amused at the scene.
Tate merely shook her head and guided Rafe a few feet away to a quiet clearing between a few trees. "What do you want?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and scowling at him.
"My dad kicked me out," Rafe said heavily. "He- um- he found out about the drugs and... he's not too happy about it."
Tate almost felt bad. Almost. "Well, you're technically an adult. So it's not exactly 'kicking you out' is it?"
Rafe shrugged heavily. "I just wanted to tell you since... you know... you have some experience with this stuff. Thought you might be able to help."
"Look," Tate said, eyeing him wearily, "The first time I ever got kicked out, I was thirteen years old. And I slept in Kook boats on the docks for an entire three months while still managing to go to school and keep up appearances. This is not the same kind of thing. At all." She took a deep breath. "However... I'm sorry that happened to you. Genuinely- parent problems suck no matter what. Just... keep a low profile, you know? Find a few people you trust and stick around them. And- try to sober up."
Rafe nodded his head and gave her the closest thing to a smile he could manage. "Thanks. Seriously, that means a lot. I know I've been... kinda shitty lately. I'm gonna..." he sighed. "-I'm gonna try and leave you alone."
Tate nodded and slipped her hands into her pockets. "Thanks. I appreciate that." They stood there a bit awkwardly for a second, and then Tate gave a short laugh and turned to return to the party. "Hey!" she said when she found JJ.
"Hey." He turned to her and gave her a small smile. "What did he want?"
Tate shrugged. "Just to tell me some personal stuff."
JJ raised his eyebrows. "Personal stuff?"
"Yeah, about his parents and... whatever. It doesn't matter."
She may have been reading into it, but she thought she saw a glimmer of annoyance flash across JJ's face for a second. "Yeah, okay," he said slowly.
Tate grimaced. "Why do you care?" she asked, trying not to let her temper get the better of her. "It's not like it matters."
"Yeah, I guess," JJ said with a shrug. "I mean, it's kinda weird. You talking to your ex-... whatever he was. I mean, you never even confirmed that you were dating, but he still wants to tell you personal stuff?"
Tate frowned. "We were close. He doesn't have many people to talk to, believe it or not."
"But does he have to talk to you?"
"Why does it matter?"
"Because the guy's a piece of shit!" JJ said, his voice raising a level. "I mean, he beat up Pope, he's awful to Sarah, he-"
Tate narrowed her eyes. "Oh, don't bring Sarah Cameron into this-"
"Why not?" demanded JJ. "She's a part of the group now. You don't still hate her, do you?"
Tate shrugged and didn't answer. The truth was she didn't hate Sarah Cameron, but she did wish she would stay in her lane sometimes. "I never said Rafe was a good person, but we have history."
"Bullshit."
"I'm sorry, what?" Tate took a step back and glared at JJ.
He gave her an unapologetic shrug. "I said that's bullshit. You don't have to talk to him just because you have history-"
"Don't you trust me at all?" Tate asked, her voice rising in pitch. "I mean, I get not liking Rafe, but don't you trust my judgement?"
He shrugged. "I don't know, Tate. I'm kinda starting not to-"
"Fuck that!" Tate half-shouted. "That's bullshit. Just because we're dating doesn't mean you get to come in here and tell me who I can and can't talk to- it's just controlling!"
"Well, I get worried sometimes-"
"If you can't trust me, we can't be together." The words came out before Tate had time to think about them, but they hung in the air, thick in the humidity.
JJ blinked once and looked confused. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying..." Tate wanted to backtrack, but she was too far in now. "I'm saying that I think maybe we should take a break."
JJ shook his head. "No, Tate- that's not how you're supposed to deal with problems- you can't just leave-"
"Watch me," said Tate, her voice suddenly hard. "I can do whatever I want."
---
Tate woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and the acute feeling she'd done something wrong. She slid out of her bed at the Carrera's house and let out a little involuntary groan as the pain in her head and the nausea in her stomach got worse. Tate hated hangovers. She headed downstairs to the kitchen, where Kiara was sitting alone at the counter with a piece of toast and a cup of coffee. "Hey, what the hell?" she said in greeting.
"What?" Tate asked, pouring herself her own mug of coffee and leaning against the counter.
Kiara raised her eyebrows at her. "Why the hell would you break up with JJ?"
Then it hit her. The memories of the night before crossed her mind like fresh flesh wounds. "Oh, fuck..." she breathed, letting her head fall to the counter.
"Yeah... fuck is right," said Kiara unsympathetically. "Dude, he's all torn up over it and like- what were you thinking? You guys are literally perfect for each other. We all know this- we've all known this for years now."
Tate shrugged. "He got all weird at the party we went to and I got mad and... fuck. Now things are all messed up, aren't they?"
"Yup." Kiara slid off of her chair and set her empty mug in the sink. "Have fun fixing this one, Johnson."