As I grace towards my man who is standing beside a table with a candle light. I laughed. Him and his simple yet remarkable gestures and surprises. Nilibot ko pa ang tingin sa loob. There is really something today. There are tulips and carnations everywhere. Fairy lights are hanging. And the most surprising is.. walang katao tao. Kung meron man ay malayo layo sa amin.
It was weird. But maybe may event dito kanina. I returned my gaze to the most handsome guy I met.
There is really something strange that I feel whenever I walk to him. I can't explain it but it feels like I'm bearing myself to him. Like I'm entrusting myself to him. Hoping he won't break me.
But little did I know, I'll be the one who'll destroy this man.
"Hi." I said as I kiss his cheeks. His arms automatically snaked around me, imprisoning me as he held my nape and kissed me fully on the lips.
It was a hot and short kiss. I smiled at him afterwards and gently ran my fingers in his cheeks. He closed his eyes as he moved his head to feel my hand. I smiled. He looked like a tamed tiger.
"You in a good mood, huh? You're touchy today." He said as he made me sit on the chair and fixed it. He then sat in front of me.
"Why are you all saying that to me tonight?" Napailing nalang ako. Magtropa nga sila ni kuya. "Speaking of, nasa bahay ang best friend mo."
"Who?" He asked as he signaled one of the waiters to serve the food. He ordered again while waiting. I smiled.
"Duh? Kuya Zeus, of course."
"Oh yeah?" Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mata. Why isn't he surprise?
"Sinabihan ka na niya, no?"
Hindi na siya nakasagot dahil naagaw na ng paparating na waiter ang atensyon namin. Shet. Sirang diet. Napatingin ako sa tiyan ko.
Sobrang payat mo na ba at gusto mong tumaba, madepress, at magkaanxiety? Ano pang hinihintay mo? Mag law school ka na!
We spent the whole night just talking about random things. We talked about politics, conspiracy theories, netflix he watched, friends, family. We talked about everything.
Except that one thing.
That one important thing.
Marriage.
Everything was going smoothly. Then suddenly, a violin started playing. And it was another Taylor swift song! Lover!
Veros wiped his lips with a tissue and stood up. He put his hand behind him and bowed. Offered another hand for me, saying, "May I dance with the most stunning woman I've been eyeing tonight, miss?"
I laughed at his cheesyness and accepted his hand. I mean, who wouldn't?
He knows I'm not much for dancing so he simply put my hands on his shoulder. And his large hands around my waist. We were only swaying. I wasn't contented with the closeness so I slightly pulled him closer which he obliged. We are now almost hugging while dancing to the song.
"We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January." I hugged him tighter when he sang along to my favorite song.
"This is our place, we make the rules
And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear
Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?"
He then kissed my head at idinikit and noo niya sa noo ko. He was so tall that I know he's uncomfortable but then he stared at me lovingly. Like he doesn't care as long as hurting means being closer to me. It was so.. satisfying and touching but my heart ached.
What did I ever do to deserve this man?
With his eyes staring deeply at me, like accepting my flaws, imperfections, my bad days, my worst. Like accepting me, he sang his heart out, dedicating every word to me.
"Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out and take me home
You're my, my, my, my
Lover."
Him being this near, I can clearly see how his hooded eyes started tearing up.
"We could let our friends crash in the living room
This is our place, we make the call."
The song went on but he stopped singing. Instead, he opened his mouth to talk.
"Artemis Cresia Sanford." He stopped swaying and held both of my hands. He kissed them both and continued talking. "We've been together almost our whole lives. We have that cliche story that I'll never get tired of hearing. You have your choices, baby. I still remember how almost half of our batch tried to hit on you."
"And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you
I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all."
"Pero saan ka napunta? Sa akin. Sa akin palagi."
My heart ached. I know where this is going. I'm afraid. I'm hoping I'm wrong. Please, please, tangi. 'Wag.
But who am I kidding?
He stepped backwards. Bended his one knee and took out a velvet box out his pocket. He opened it with his shaking hands. It was their family heirloom ring.
My hand flew to my mouth. I cried immediately. Fuck it. Fuck this.
"Tangi, I have traveled a lot. I've been to many places. I've talked to a lot of people. I've laid my eyes on many women. But I never knew what home means until I got to hold you. I never experienced being scared until I imagined losing you. I was never me until I met you."
"Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out and take me home (Forever and ever)
You're my, my, my, my
Lover."
"As what Taylor Swift have said, 'I made you my temple, my mural, my sky. Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life.' Baby, I've been with you for long years. There is no part of me that doesn't surrender to you. Tangi, ikaw ang lahat ko."
"You mean so much to me, that those three words aren't enough to explain how much I fucking love you. I love you isn't enough, baby. I'll just prove it to you through staying with you everyday. By being your sweet morning coffee, your blanket, your pillow, your cardigan, your flannel."
"But baby, I can only do that if you'll give me the privilege to marry my only dream. To marry you."
"So, my Artemis, my toughest woman. Will you marry me?"
I cried harder. Inilibot ko ang mata ko sa buong restaurant. I was shocked to see everyone. His parents, siblings, and grand parents are all crying. Thinking their Veros is getting married. Kuya Zeus was there, wiping the side of his eyes while giving me a thumbs up. All our friends were there, smiling. Thinking we'll get married soon.
I cried harder and harder it was hard for me to breathe. Veros sensed it so he came to me, but I stopped him.
With my crying face, I shook my head.
"Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?
With every guitar string scar on my hand
I take this magnetic force of a man to be my
Lover.
My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue
All's well that ends well to end up with you
Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my
Lover."
On the part of the song where I'm supposed to hug him and accept his proposal, I continuously shook my head. I stepped backwards. The cheering stopped. As well as Veros' world. I can see the world crumbling up on him. I can see him completely crying now. I can see him stuck in that ground, staring at me with those eyes screaming of pain and grief.
I looked at the people again. Mouthing sorrys, and then back to him.
I wanna give him a reason. I wanna assure him that we'll do it in another time. I wanna wipe those tears away.
But I didn't.
Kasi kahit ako, hindi ko alam.
Sobrang ayos kami. Bakit gano'n? Bakit ayoko?
I wanna tell him I love him, I didn't. Instead, I turned my back on him. On my only love. On my everything. On my baby. On my Veros.
I heard a bottle dropped. I heard them calling my name. I heard them begging me to come back. I heard their cries. I thought it broke me. But when I heard his plea. His sobs. God. It ruined me. I was beyond repair.
"Baby, please?" His voice cracked on the last word. I can feel him shaking even when I can't see him.
And I know it will hunt me. When I'll think of Veros, I'll picture him on his knees, crying, begging me to come back, shaking, and eyes screaming for hatred and pain.
It will be a curse.
I'm cursing myself.
I will forever be the girl who's just A once upon a time.
Song Played: Lover by Taylor Swift