*Authors Note - the next few chapters will be progressing the story, meaning there won't be any smut. I know it is very sad :(*
You wake up when you feel Emily shifting next to you. Groggily you open your eyes, to see her getting out of bed, and heading over to get dressed. Stretching out, you rub the sleep out of your eyes and sit up.
"Good morning sleepyhead," Emily says when she notices you are awake. "I thought you were going to sleep the day away."
"What are you talking about," you ask, as you reach over and grab your phone to check the time. "You just got up too."
"I have actually been awake for a while," she says with a laugh.
"So you were just laying in bed watching me sleep?" you question as you cross your arms over your chest. "That's a little creepy Em."
Emily laughs harder as she grabs an outfit out of her closet.
"I was laying in bed because somebody had their arms wrapped around me like a koala," she says as she turns back around to you.
"So I'm a cuddler, sue me," you say with a shrug. She shakes her head at you, before hurling the outfit she had just grabbed out of the closet in your direction.
"Here," she says. Your brain is still half asleep so you don't catch the clothes, instead, they land in your lap. As you pick them up, you can't help but imagine how wonderfully the blouse she just threw you looks when she wears it. You push yourself out of bed, grab your bra from where you had left it the night before, and start to get dressed as well.
"If I keep showing up to work in your clothes the team will start to suspect things," you say as you pull the pants up your legs, but Emily just rolls her eyes.
"No, they won't."
"Maybe I should start keeping some clothes over here," you say with a smirk and a light laugh, but Emily freezes. Usually, she would laugh and joke along with you, but you can tell that something is off.
"I was actually thinking about that," she says. You try to search her face to see what caused her sudden change in mood but her eyes are glued to the floor.
"About me having extra clothes?" you question as you take a few steps closer to her.
"No," she says as she finally looks up. She takes a deep breath before continuing. "About this, about us."
"Oh," you say in surprise.
"It's just that, you already have all of the basics down, I'm just not sure what else I could teach you. So we can stop if you want," she says.
"Oh," you repeat, as your hands drop down by your sides, completely abandoning their job of buttoning up your shirt.
"I just, don't want you to feel like we have to keep doing this if you don't want to" she continues, her voice dropping as she nervously picks at her nails.
"Well, what if I want to?" you ask, your words barely above a whisper. You wouldn't even be sure that she had heard you if you hadn't heard her breath catch in her throat. But her silence fills you with fear and worry.
Of course, she didn't feel the same, why would she, you think to yourself. This was her way of letting you down gently, she was giving you a chance to leave before she had to do it herself.
"I'm sorry," you say. "I shouldn't have said that." You start to walk away but before you can Emily steps forward and reaches out to you, grabbing your hand in hers. As you turn back around to her, you realize how close the two of you are standing.
"You want to?" she asks quietly. If you didn't know any better you could swear that you heard hopefulness in her voice.
"Don't you?" you question. Both of you stand there for a moment, less than an inch away from each other, both of you barely breathing.
One breath, one inch forwards, one twitch of Emily's fingers in your hand, and you won't be able to restrain yourself from giving in and kissing her. Giving her a real kiss, not just one because of some stupid agreement.
But would that be so bad? Part of you is scared that she doesn't like you back, that this was all just sex to her and nothing more, but here she was holding you close to her when she could've let you walk out of the door. And yeah you might have been tipsy and half asleep, but that I love you you had heard last night, that couldn't have been in your head. Right?
"I..." Emily finally says, but that's the only thing that her mouth can think to form as she brings her hand up to cup the side of your face.
Slowly and hesitantly, the two of you lean in towards each other. Your lips inching their way to hers, just breaths away from touching. Every nerve in your body is on fire, and you are concerned that you might spontaneously combust, but right as you close your eyes and feel Emily's lips hovering over yours, her phone rings.
Jumping apart, your heart is beating a mile a minute, and not just because the loud ringing of the phone caught you off guard. Emily fumbles to grab the phone and clears her throat before answering it.
"Prentiss," she says, and you run your hand over your face.
Had you really just almost kissed Emily, like really kissed her. This felt so much different than the kisses that the two of you had shared before. So much more intimate, and full of passion and desire and want. Like you were in a trance and the only thing that you could focus on was Emily.
"Yeah, we will be in in a few," you hear Emily say, breaking you out of your thoughts. She hangs up and turns to you, still frozen in the exact spot you were when the phone rang.
"We have a case, Hotch wants us in ASAP," she says, before turning and walking to the other side of the room to grab her go-bag.
"Emily," you call out to her, and she turns around to you.
"Yes?" she asks as if nothing was wrong, and it feels like your heart shatters in a million pieces.
It was like a flip switch when the phone rang. That trance that you were in was broken, but instead of talking about it, Emily was ignoring that it even happened. It really meant nothing to her, everything. The sex, the almost kiss, the I love you, it may as well have all been in your head. Well if that was how she was going to play it then you would too.
"Nothing," you say as you clear your throat and give her a fake smile. "Let's go."
- - - - - - - - - - -
"Is that shirt new?" Garcia asks as she walks up to you.
"No," you reply curtly.
"I've never seen you wear it," she continues.
"Really?" you ask, still barely engaging.
"But I have seen a certain brunette wear it," Garcia says and you can hear the smile in your voice.
"Oh, yeah," you say finally looking up at her. "I was feeling sick last and I ended up throwing up on my clothes. So Emily gave me hers."
"But why were you with Emily?" she questions, prying in a way that only Garcia would.
"She didn't want me staying home by myself while I was sick, so she took me to her apartment."
"Really?" she asks with a smirk.
"Yes, Garcia really," you say, growing agitated.
"And that's all that happened last night?"
"If there is something you want to say Garcia just say it," you snap at her, but instantly feel bad when you look up at her shocked face.
"Pen, I'm sorry," you quickly apologize. "I just had a rough night, and I'm still a little hungover."
Garcia nods gently, as she looks at you with her kind eyes.
"You know you can talk to me about anything right?" she asks as she reaches out and places a hand on your arm.
"I know I can," you say as you hug her. "That's why I love you."
She smiles that big smile at you, and despite everything that has happened this morning, you start to feel a little better. That is until the two of you walk into the roundtable room, and you lock eyes with Emily. You quickly duck your head and move to your seat because you know that if you keep looking in her direction, people will definitely know that something is up.
"Let's get started," Hotch says as he walks into the room, and you are so thankful for the distraction.
The case was not a long one, well at least in terms of time. You were only there for two days, but every time you were alone with Emily or you glanced over and caught her eye, or she was brought up into conversation, it felt like time slowed down and hours were added to the day. It was exhausting not only ignoring the feelings you had started to feel for her but also hiding the pain that you felt that she was acting as if nothing happened.
When you got home you were so tired that you collapsed on the bed, still in your work clothes. But oddly you couldn't fall asleep. Your mind was racing a mile a minute, replaying the last time the two of you had tumbled into bed together, the last time she held you after a nightmare, the last time she placed a light kiss on your lips. God this sucked.
After tossing and turning all night, you finally look over and see that the sun is coming up. With a groan, you roll out of bed and decide to go ahead and put on some clothes, head out early, and walk to work today.
As you walk down the street, you actually start to feel your mood lifting. There aren't very many people out this early, but the birds are chirping and there is a light breeze. You take a deep breath and decide to embrace it.
Looking down at your watch and seeing you still have plenty of time to kill, you decide to walk into one of your favorite coffee shops, that you don't really get to frequent that often. You hear the ding, and feel the comforting atmosphere as you order your coffee and sit at one of the tables by the window.
Maybe this is a sign, you think to yourself as you watch people passing by. Maybe this feeling is a sign that I should put whatever it was that we were in the past and start to embrace the changes in life. Maybe, the universe is telling me that it was ok to be heartbroken and upset for a few days, but that time is over now.
"Not what you wanted?" you hear a light voice asks, and you almost jump, at her sudden appearance. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, you've just barely touched your coffee."
"Oh, no it's good, sorry," you say, giving the barista an awkward laugh. "I guess I am just still trying to wake up enough to drink it."
"That's understandable," she says matching your smile with her own. "We don't usually get people here this early in the morning."
"I can see that," you say as you look around at the mostly empty cafe. "I am usually not in here this early either, but I had extra time to kill this morning and was in desperate need of a pick me up before work."
"Oh, where do you work?" she asks sitting down in the chair across from you, and you can see her face light up.
"I work for the FBI," you say, and you watch as her whole demeanor changes.
"Oh wow I've never met an FBI agent before," she says with a roll of her eyes. "I am sure that you have a gun and a badge huh?" she asks, her voice full of sarcasm.
"Actually yes," you say with a giggle, as you pull out your badge. It's not the first time somebody thought you were joking when you told them your job, and frankly you found it a bit funny.
"Oh my gosh I am so sorry," she says nervously. "I thought you were lying, I mean not that you would lie it's just you know you look so young and don't you have to be like 40 to be in the FBI or something. I mean I'm sure you're really smart and..."
"Hey," you say as you place your hand over hers with a laugh. "It's ok. And yeah, typically. Most of the rest of my team is in their thirties and forties, but no I'm only 26."
"Ok, good," she says with a sigh. "I thought I screwed everything up. Because you're really pretty and sometimes I don't know how to talk to pretty girls." She blushes and her eyes widen like she hadn't meant for those words to come out of her mouth. "I'm Maya," she says quickly.
"I'm (Y/N), and yeah, I'm having that problem too, with a pretty girl like you talking to me." You hear the words coming out of your mouth but you are a little shocked. When did you become such a flirt?
Since you've started spending more time with Emily, you think, the thought popping into your head before you can stop it. But wasn't that the point? Wasn't the whole thing with Emily supposed to help you be able to talk to and be with other girls. You weren't supposed to fall for her, that was never part of the plan.
"I actually have to go," you say to Maya, as you grab your coffee and stand up. "Here is my card. You can call me if you want, or maybe I'll see you again if I wake up early enough." She takes the card out of your hand with the biggest grin on her face.
"Yes," she says. "I will call you."
"Great," you say shooting her one last smile before you turn and finish your walk to work.
If Emily could act like there was nothing between you two, then you could as well. And a date with an attractive and sweet woman might just help.
You walk into the BAU with an extra pep in your step. Proud of yourself not only for landing yourself with a possible date sometime in the foreseeable future but also because this was the first step to getting over Emily.
"Ok, what is with the sappy face?" Morgan asks as you sit down at your desk.
"I don't have a sappy face," you say as you grab files and pull them closer to you.
"Oh, you totally do," he says with a laugh. "Did you finally get laid?"
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Emily's head snap up to look over at the two of you as she overhears your conversation.
"No," you say to Morgan, pushing Emily to the back of your mind. "I didn't get laid."
"Well, something happened," he says.
"I just met somebody this morning. That's all."
"Does this somebody have a name?" he asks with a smirk.
"Is this somebody cute?" JJ asks, joining your conversation.
"Yes she has a name, it's Maya," you say to Morgan. "And I am not answering that question," you say to JJ.
"By not answering you are sort of answering the question," she says with a laugh.
"Ok fine, she was cute," you admit. "In a bookish and awkward female spencer Reid kind of way."
"I didn't realize that was your type," you hear Emily mumble at her desk.
"What do you mean?" you ask as you look over at her.
"I just thought you were into the more dominant type that's all," she says and you can practically feel the malice and jealousy dripping off of her words. You feel yourself growing in anger, how dare she have the right to be angry, when she is the one who wanted to act like you were just friends.
"How would you know what I like?" you shoot back at her. At this point, the two of you are practically shooting daggers into each other with your stares, and the team can feel the tension in the room.
"Just a guess that's all," Emily says, backing down.
This was going to be tougher than you thought.