Valkyrie: Life of a Warrior by MarvelDan6
Reviewer : little_mxmo
Genre : Fantasy
Overall Rating : 2.8 / 5 ☆'s
First Impression :
Not going to lie, I wasn’t all that excited to read this story, especially when I started reading the tags. I specifically asked for nothing related to badboys, which is one of your highest ranking tags. Next time, please read the entirety of my ad.
Graphics & Blurb :
The cover is nice, but it doesn’t really seem to match the blurb. Speaking of the blurb, it sounds more of an action story, than one of the fantasy genre. However, the blurb is nicely written. Simple, short and to the point.
First Chapter :
The prologue was done very well, and I found it to be very opening and dare I say, interesting. However, your first chapter did not step up to the plate. It’s really boring, and I had to force myself to keep reading. Especially since it seemed less and less like an action filled fantasy and more like a cliche romance. You even added the “Head Cheerleader = Bitch” troupe.
Writing Style :
You are telling me about the actions of the characters, instead of showing me. Your dialogue is lacking too, it doesn’t sound like things any human would say (unless they were casted on Netflix Originals). I can’t tell if its because youre an ammeutrer writer, or if English just isn’t your first language. Either way, I’d look around for an editor who focuses specifically on the writing style & dialogue.
Mechanics :
Grammar mistakes, but not so many that it slaps you in the face. Still, I advise that you use some sort of grammar editor before publishing a chapter, or while you’re reading it.
World Building / Setting :
This ties greatly into the writing style section. I don’t even know where I am location wise in the story. When JJ was at college, what did it look like? Were the walls grey or beige? How big was the cafeteria? How about when she was at the party? Did the smell like alcohol and weed? Was the bass booming so loud the house shook? Those are just some questions to think about scencery-wise.