‘There’s not enough rain in Oklahoma
To wash the sins out of that house
There’s not enough wind in Oklahoma
To rip the nails out of the past’
-Blown Away, Carrie Underwood
Lara Valdez had the choice but she chose this job. She had the chance to stop but she continued, she never told anyone her reason of doing so because she strongly believed that nobody truly cared. She started working as a pole dancer at the ripe age of eighteen; she fended for herself and for what left in her family--- Lizzie, her seventeen-year-old sister and Louise, her fourteen-year-old baby sister--- after her mother decided to flew and hide from them as her father died in an illness. At the age of 22, she was a breadwinner and a support system. What a pathetic and tiresome life she had, but she persisted and never stopped crawling onto that hard asphalt she called life. Because despite of that stupid and dirty woman she was, she actually had a dream, to give her sisters the life she wished she had.
Like the other days she lived, it was again the time for her to pack her things and get ready for another performance at Smudgy Var. “Louise, when Lizzie comes home, tell her to call me. Okay?” She said while she applied a blood red lipstick on her plump lips, her eyes that were already colored with smoky gray eye shadow. She glanced again on her wristwatch that her sisters gave her as a gift and frowned, it was already quarter to eight but Lizzie wasn’t home yet. She worried for them more than a mother would, because she loved them more than her mother had loved them, if she ever did.
“Alright. Take care!” Louise kissed her rosy cheek and smiled at her with the sweetest smile she really loved. Few more years until her girls would graduate and until then she has to make herself stronger. She bid her goodbye after she told her yet again her usual daily reminders.
Lara Valdez never smiled for anyone aside from her sisters that’s why she was quite a mystery for the patrons of the bar she was working at. She never showed interest and excitement, she was an ice lily. Most of all, Lara never felt the term they called ‘love’ for the opposite sex. She never believed it either. It never presented itself to her until that one night when she met Calvin Walker. Of course, at that time she didn’t know it was love, or maybe she just stopped herself from believing it was love.
One way to escape pain was ignorance and she held it for as long as she could.
“Lara, are you up for a private performance tonight? Table Five requested for you.” Kola said, she was a plump woman at her forties, she arranged appointments for them but she wasn’t the employer--- that would be Mrs. Bolkins.
She was tired tonight and wasn’t up for anything but then Kola said Table Five, she had her eyes on that particular table even before she started her pole dance. She was oddly drawn on those gray eyes that was as if doing a general search on her soul. He watched her dance with those piercing eyes and she felt aberrantly giddy. She didn’t know why and she didn’t intend to know until Kola approached her to tell her that one of them wanted her private performance. However, what if it wasn’t that gray-eyed man who wanted the performance?
“I think I’d pass…” She sighed and Kola shook her head with a gleam in her eyes that she understood very well--- they were paying on a higher rate. And she needed money. “I changed my mind; I’ll go there after I change my clothes.” If you could even call it clothes, it barely hid anything!
She did change her clothes to a longer one, well it was longer that it covered her butt completely unlike the scrap of clothe she wore earlier. She trudged her way towards the tables and approached table five.
“Well, which gentleman asked for the private performance?” She purred, slightly leaning on the table so her cleavage would show for a little. She hated it, she was disgusted with herself but damn, she chose this, and she brought this to herself.
She locked eyes with that gray-eyed man, she assumed that he was on his twenties; he looked twenty-five-ish. He was fairly good-looking, with a stubble chin and angular face, his nose was slightly crooked and when he smiled to her, his left cheek has a shallow deep.
“I did…” The gray-eyed man said and something lifted inside Lara as if she was secretly anticipating it. It caused a frown on her features, which she covered again with her icy facial expression. Why would she anticipate an alone time with that man, how could she. His companions hooted and clapped his back as if he just scored, or he was about to score, which made him roll his eyes.
She felt disgusted yet again. She led the man towards the private booths past the short hallway and they entered the last booth from the corner. “I hope this spot is good.” She said, faking the enthusiasm, making her voice seductive. The man only smiled to her, something stirred in her stomach and all of a sudden, she was uncomfortable. She closed the door behind her and looked at the man that was causing her unfamiliar reactions.
“You paid for two hours, right?” She said whilst the man sat on the sole love chair inside the cramped booth. She stood a good two feet away from him but still, she could feel his body warmth--- strangely, it was soothing.
“What’s your name?” He asked, his voice was a bit rasp, did he have a sore throat, or was it normal? She was intrigued by him, the way he spoke, moved and looked at her made her queasy.
She never said her name to her clients but she did to him, “Lara.” She said, getting a little breathless, she was sharing the same air as him they were exchanging breaths. Why was she acting like a damn teenager with her crush?
“I’m Calvin…” He finally said and he was the epitome of manliness, his existence screamed testosterone. “How long have you been doing this kind of thing?” He said again, but this time she was sure his voice was dripping with disgust. It was normal for people like him, she was used to it, and never before she told any of them, why she was doing it.
“Long enough to become the best dancer here…” she purred, her face and emotion was far from insecurities. She was able to hide her inner self in a place safe from unstableness. “I should start now…” She said as she took a step back and started touching her face sensually, her hands slowly dipping on the space between her breasts then she stopped, averting her attention on her hips whilst she locked eyes with him. She was used to it, those hungry eyes that would devour her at any moment, those disgusting lip licking whilst they watched her but he was not doing any of it. His face was pained and it ticked her nerves. Why would he make such a face, he should be enjoying the show, and what was he thinking. She normally blew their minds once she started dancing but he was thinking of something else and it challenged her. Could she make this man look only at her?
She went near him until she could feel his breath on her cheek and she sat on his lap, she danced, grinded against the bulge on his pants. But the more she looked at those eyes, it caused more havoc inside her stable inner resolve.
“Why were you working like this?” He rasped his breathing ragged; she touched his chin and licked her finger sensually. Why, he said? She ignored him and continued her voyage. His bulge grew even larger and it strained against her underwear. Electricity flew and made every single nerve endings on her body hyper aware. She gulped a moan, was she stupid? She wasn’t aroused!
He shifted making his bulge press on her and she closed her eyes shut, was she being manipulated? “Why are you doing this, Lara?” He repeated and her eyes flew open, fearful. Why was she scared? She stopped dancing and inched away but two large hands cupped her bottom so she was pinned in place. His gaze was boring on her eyes, he was serious and scary yet all she could think was the buzz inside her.
“Sir, let me go. I only dance.” She struggled to speak but she didn’t gave him the chance to know any of it, she wasn’t named ice lily for nothing. “I hope you won’t hinder my job, you can stroke yourself while I dance.” She said with all her calmness. His grip loosened as something changed on his expression and she took the opportunity to stand up and tugged on her mini dress that hiked up above her butt.
“I don’t enjoy stroking myself; maybe you could do it for me?” He suggested with a smirk playing on his lips but she refused to show any weakness. She wasn’t weak at all, she was used to customers like him, trying to abuse her when they only paid for her dance.
She crouched before him and stroked one slim finger on the length of his bulge and it pleasured her when he gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I said, I only dance but you can request for another girl, I know someone who’s really good with this…” she licked her finger and pinned him with her gaze. “Should I call for one?”
He didn’t speak, he was silent and it sent uneasiness to her. She stood up and studied him for a little longer until he reached for his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He took a handful of money and slapped it on the couch, then he looked at her, once again, she was captivated with his eyes. “Thanks for that wonderful performance, Lara.” Why did it sound so special when he spoke her name? She had mixed feelings, she wanted him to disappear yet a small part of her wanted him to stay.
“You’re paying me when I didn’t even finish my performance. You hired me for two hours, sir.” She said defiantly, at least she has a little pride left in her; she couldn’t just take a money she didn’t work hard for.
He smiled and for a little bit it warmed her, “I really enjoyed it but I still have something else to do.” He stood swiftly, his long legs straightening and it shocked her when he kissed her lips. Not only tiny shocks went frenzy on her system but also a longing arose from inside her. When she resurfaced, she was alone inside the booth with the money he left, and the longing he left on his wake.