From thousands of online and on-ground auditionees, a total of 48 girls were shortlisted. These 48 girls would compete for three months to get a spot in the Top 16 who would become the official members of the idol group. Since MINT was a Japanese company, we followed the Japanese idol system wherein the public would see and be part of the aspirants' journey from day one to the day they become full-fledged idols.
For the first month of the program, it was all fun and getting-to-know kind of vibe. The first week was getting used to the new environment, system and people. They equally divided us into three groups: Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, with 16 members each. The provincial applicants stayed in a dorm in QC. We were provided with daily food and weekly allowance for our essentials. A service would transport us from the dorm to the studio thrice a week for our schedule. Our schedule was usually basic training in singing and dancing. We would attend the training camp twice a week and every week, we would perform in groups in the noontime show in front of the audience. The audience would then comment on our performance as a group, and pinpoint an aspirant who underperformed and another one who performed best. In our third to fourth week in the program, they gave us team challenges which required teamwork and application of what we had learned from our mentors for the past two weeks. The challenges included making our own team rendition of the same song for all groups, and our own choreography of the same music. The first month passed by quickly, and we were not prepared for what was in store for us in the second month.
If the first month was full of RBUs - Rainbows, Butterflies and Unicorns, the second month was hell. This month was the start of the weekly eliminations. We were randomly divided into four teams. Each week, we would come up with our own team performance for our mini-live stage which we would perform every Saturday on the noontime show in front of the audience and in front of a panel of judges. The panel of judges would then select the weakest member of each team to be eliminated. The first and second weeks of elimination were really nerve-racking and heartbreaking. We were scared to be called to step forward just to get left behind by our peers. Being eliminated then felt like the end of our dreams, and it was the worst nightmare for dreamers like us.
Most of us were able to adjust on the third week of eliminations. We would expect what it would feel like to be eliminated but at the same time, hopeful to not have been the next one to leave. In the fourth week, we were already thick-skinned and just wished that it were the other girls to be eliminated instead of us. After all, we would not get this far just to leave in the end. From 48 girls, we were now down to 32.
The final month was a cutthroat competition. Members of our teams were reshuffled again, forming four teams with eight members each. We were assigned a mentor for each team to train us on a song our mentor would pick for us to perform in front of the panel of judges. The team with the lowest score from the panel of judges would be eliminated every week for two weeks. In the first week, Team B was eliminated while in the second week, it was Team D. In the third week, they had a surprise announcement that eight eliminated members were chosen to return to compete for the Top 16.
In the final week, we would perform again as a team but this time, we would be scored as a team by the panel of judges and individually by our mentor. Team with the highest score from the panel would get additional 5 points in their individual scores. Individual scores from our mentor and panel of judges would then be combined with the audience's online votes from their apps to determine our ranks.
The final judgement day was nearing. I had not been at my best for the past few days because my ankle got sprained during one of our rehearsals. I was brought to the clinic and was advised by the doctor to rest for at least three days. In five days' time, it was already the final judgement day. My co-aspirants were rehearsing every day during this week to prepare for our final test. It was frustrating to see your co-aspirants in their best selves rehearsing while there I was sitting on the bench watching them as they prepare for one of the biggest fights of their lives, and as for me, I could barely stand. Seeing how frustrated I was, my mom gave me a pep talk.
"Honey, I can see the frustration in your eyes. Instead of dwelling on your injury, focus your energy on what you can control. The days when you can't dance don't equate to wasted days, isn't it? You still have your voice...and your mom with you, okay?" said Mom as she gave me her most supportive smile.
"I love you, Mom. Thank you," I said as tears were welling in my eyes.
Mom was right. I would not be able to rehearse my dance but I could still sing and work on my interaction with my fans. As the other girls were busy focusing on their performance, I focused on engaging with my fans on my social media while at the same time doing mental dance rehearsals and actual voice rehearsals. It's true when they say, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade".
----------
It was the final judgement day. I was satisfied with how I was able to maximize my final rehearsal week considering the circumstance I was in but I still could not shake my fears and anxiety of not doing enough. The grandiose set, production and costumes added to the pressure and stress that we were feeling. The judgement day was done in an auditorium which was like three times bigger than the usual studio that we were performing in. There were a lot of people in the audience composed of family members of the aspirants, ex-aspirants and fans. We were starting to garner fans during this phase of our journey.
Fast forward, the top 1-8 girls were chosen to debut as the A-list girls, top 9-16 as Tier B, and top 17-24 as trainees. The Top 16 were the official members. The A-list girls or the A-listers were the promotional team. They were the girls with the highest exposure as they were the members to record the first single and to appear in the music video. They were also assigned to do promotions on TV, radio, prints and events. Tier B girls were reserved members who would cover for any A-lister should the member be absent or has another engagement. Tier B girls would receive the kinds of training and workshops that A-listers would have. Because of the training, workshops and activities that the official members would be committed to, they were required to stay in a dorm arranged by MINT. The top 17-24 girls or trainees were not official members but should any one in Tier B leaves the group, a trainee could replace her and be an official member. They would receive the same kinds of trainings and workshops but in less frequency than the official members. They were also not required to stay in the dorm.
After those three roller-coaster-emotion-and-stress-filled months, I was finally an official member of the first Filipino idol girl group, Cherry. I was not only an official member but I was part of the A-list team with rank #4. That day was the pinnacle of my aspirant days and all I could think about was the day my dad gave me his blessing to pursue my dream. I could finally look back at him and say, "Thank you Dad for giving me this chance. I can finally live my dream. I owe it to you and Mom." I knew Dad was watching me from afar and I dedicated this milestone to him and Mom.
----------
Cherry was derived from the idiomatic expression "cherry on top". Just like in a cake or a sundae, a cherry on top adds more value and makes your dessert extra special. Akin to a cherry, the members were considered special and of high value. We were the chosen few, the best of the best, the crème dela crème.
The ecstasy of our recent victory was amplified in our first fan meet. It was our first official event as a group and it was the first time we would be seeing our fans. Honestly, we were not expecting many outside attendees aside from our family, relatives and friends. To our surprise, the front and middle rows of the venue were filled with unfamiliar faces. They were the first of our then growing second family.
Being able to perform in front of our fans as an official idol and member of Cherry was surreal. It felt unreal that I had to pinch my cheek to check that I was not dreaming. The fan meet was our first official event as a group and it was also the last event before we had left our homes and families to live in the dorm. It was like our farewell party from the outside world.
----------
We were welcomed to the idol world with our jam-packed schedule. What we experienced in the three-month training in the program was no match to the intensity of the physicality of our official idol journey. We had daily voice training, dance training, acting class, personality development class, and our academic classes. Aside from our regular training schedule, we also had ancillary activities such as costume fitting, photoshoots, variety show tapings, TV guestings and social media engagements. Our schedule would usually start at 7am and if not that full, would end at around 5 or 6pm, but there were times when our schedule would end at around 11pm to 12mn. This was how reality slapped me in the face and I realized that being an idol was no joke.
It was our photoshoot for our first single and it was my first time to wear our first official costume or seifuku. Our costume was like a typical Japanese school uniform, a symbol of invigorating youth. The photoshoot ended past 11pm and it was our first MV shoot the next day. We were up by 4am as we had to do our hair and make up before leaving the dorm at 6am. We only had less than three hours of sleep because we had to prepare our stuff for the shoot and we were exhausted from the schedule yesterday, but our excitement overpowered our sleepiness and fatigue.
We were headed to Fort Santiago, a 1-1.5 hr drive from our dorm. It would be my first time going to Fort Santiago and it would be like a field trip for me. As we passed by unfamiliar streets, I could not help but feel so blessed to be given this kind of opportunity to be with these amazing people and do the thing I loved the most - performing.
The traffic casted a spell inside the van. It was like time froze and everyone was asleep. I was not the type to fall asleep easily inside a vehicle so I began scrolling through my phone. Ever since we became official idols, we were not allowed to have our private social media accounts. Part of our contract was to delete all our personal social media accounts and be assigned with our public idol accounts which of course, were handled and monitored by our Management. I opened my Twitter and typed in my name. I formed this habit of googling my name on social media when I started gaining followers. It was a subtle act of vanity which I was guilty of. I saw memes of myself and my co-members. Our fans were really entertainingly creative. It was amazing how people you don't personally know can give you so much adoration. I was still not used to this but I began enjoying the attention. As I further scrolled down, the delightful posts shifted to prejudicial attacks directed towards me from other followers of some eliminated aspirants and some from my co-members' fans, and most of the attacks were against our group in general. Some posts stated that I did not deserve my rank and that other girls were way prettier than me, as if I was the ugliest girl in the group. Some said that my short stature of which I could not refute was not idol-like, as if there was a height requirement to be a Cherry member. Then there were negative comments about our group saying that we were copycats and that we were trying hard, as if trying hard was a sin. We were trying hard for our dreams and for our fellow Filipinos to accept us, to accept this version of idols in our culture. We were trying hard to give them the Filipino idols they could be proud of someday, if not soon. We, as personalities made visible to the public eyes via media, were used to being bashed and cyberbullied. It became a normal occurrence to us, as if it was an acceptable act. If fame were a prize then prejudice was the price to pay.
My contemplation was cut short when sleeping Elise unconsciously rested her head on my shoulder. Elise was our Best Girl, the rank one, which means she was the face of the group for our first single. It was a pleasant surprise to hear her name as the Best Girl. Elise was neither the most popular among fans nor the most favored by the judges but she was one of the, if not the most, consistent girls during the course of the competition. We just heard her name once in the program when a judge complimented her progress. Elise never missed any training, rehearsal, show or any schedule from the moment we started the competition up to this point that we were about to shoot our first single. She was not the best dancer but she excelled in our vocal training. Her vocal prowess was a product of innate talent and unrelenting pursuit of passion and perfection. I wondered how our first single would turn out with Elise as the face of Cherry.
As I adjusted Elise's head on my shoulder, I noticed her slightly asymmetrical bangs. We had a hair makeover after our contract signing, and having bangs was the trend. Apparently, bangs would make us look more "kawaii" as the Japanese would call it. We had to look cute as this was the image of idols in the Japanese idol industry, and we were under a Japanese management so we followed the Japanese standard. We had our official hairstylist and salon sponsor but the Management would be the one to book us for an appointment. In Elise's case, she could not wait for the appointment anymore because she wanted to have her bangs trimmed as she wanted to look more "kawaii" for the shoot. As she could not go to other salons as this was a violation in the contract, being the mischievous Elise that she was, she hastily trimmed her own bangs and it turned out to be a disaster. We laughed hysterically when we saw her freshly trimmed asymmetrical bangs which were like ladders that go up and down. The Management gave her a verbal warning for altering her appearance, in this case her bangs, without Management consent. Good thing, Yuto-san, our hairstylist, was able to fix the visual trouble that Elise executed against her bangs.
Our van halted and with her eyes wincing, Elise muttered, "What time is it?"
"It's time to work." I replied.
The shoot started at around 9am and ended at 4am, with five locations. The rainy weather did us no good so we had to go back and forth to certain spots and eventually packed up to change locations. This was our first shoot as a group and this was my first-hand experience working with a foreign production team. The Japanese were notorious perfectionists and this MV shoot attested to their notoriety. They had sharp eyes for details and wasted no time perfecting every single shot. Most of us members and staff were awake for 24 hrs already but we had to maximize the booking of the locations to be more cost-efficient. We were working with professional people who were more tired and drained than us as they got little time to rest in between takes. It would be a shame to complain but our relentless spirits could not conceal the mortality of our physical bodies and so we ended our first MV shoot exclaiming with the remaining energy we had, "Otsukare sama deshita!"
We got home at around 5am and as soon as we settled in our rooms, we fell asleep. I woke up at around 12nn and went down to have my brunch. I saw Elise in the dorm lobby waiting for the service to fetch her for her solo shoot. Yesterday was the final shoot day for us but Elise had to return the next day to shoot her solo scenes in the MV wherein she had to run along Manila Bay. Dark circles formed under her eyes and she looked pale. I touched her forehead with the back of my hand, and she was feverish.
"You don't look good. You have a fever. Did you tell Ms. Camilla?" I asked with concern.
"Yes she's aware. She asked me if I want to take the day off to rest but I don't want to affect other people. Besides, this is the last day already so push!"
"Are you sure? Did you take meds already?"
"Yes! Don't worry, I already took meds. I can do this! For Cherry!"
I admired Elise's undeterred determination and optimism. With this girl's grit, it seemed like she could do anything, and everything was possible. She was quoted by fans when she said in our first fan meet, "The Philippines will love and embrace us someday," with "us" referring to Cherry. We could not wait for that day to happen, and with Elise as our cherry on top, I knew our future was bright.