So... Kinda of my first time wriitng anything in another language, since my first language is not English. I really hope you guys enjoe it!
"___" its a place for put your name. Feel welcome!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You smiled faintly as you looked at the screen of your phone, your eyes reading each of the letters written with as much care as you could have. Even though the whole conversation was already a few hours ago, each stretch did yours lips bowed a little more in a smile.
It sounded surreal, and even ridiculous, that you would find someone so sweet, cute, and kind in a simple – or perhaps not so simple, since it required a certain skill – game. But the truth is that this "unknown" boy came to be a little more company than your classmates or relatives you only met during family parties.
Some time ago you began to research and venture more and more in this complex universe of games and, among several that you started and who proved to be boring, ended up finding one called LOLOL. You thought this could be a great hobby and would help you to get rid of all the stress you were going through when you studied for the college. As play games was something you could do in the comfort of your home at night – a time when the street was too dangerous to walk around – the idea sat nice.
The biggest problem was that something that should be a simple "hobby" became basically a necessity, each day you spent a few additional hours in the game to a point that was almost a profession, since you created some extra accounts in the game to improve and sell to people who preferred to pay to invest time in something so simple , sometimes you traded rare items or clothes that you have, it seemed such a fun investment. Your time began to be divided into LOLOL, studies, school, and fun. For many it seemed like a lot to do in just one day, but it was a routine that, being an overactive person, you loved to follow.
Over time, with all the evolution of your character – in which you were proud of both the appearance and damage it caused – and especially with your arrival in the ranking of the top 100 global players you were invited to join an elite guild, which brought together some of the best players and with the highest potential to level up. There were those who, like you, cultivated a special love with LOLOL that had been fun for some time, people who innovated in strategies and skills, who could be good in any situation.
People like Yoosung.
It seemed ridiculous – and dangerous – to pass your personal contact to someone you didn't know personally, had never seen in your life and that all you knew about the person was some information dropped during matches, which there was no way of knowing if they were true or false, and that was like breaking all the security protocols you had heard as a child. However, you couldn't really believe that Yoosung could be a bad person or have bad intentions, at least not according to the way he acted in conversations. Of course – like basically the whole team – he could cross the line a little by suffering a loss or die in the game, always apologizing afterwards; yet, it was not something done by wickedly. It was a risk you didn't want to take at first. All this thought was extinguished when, in the middle of a match, everyone decided to activate their microphones so they could interact better and he really had the voice of a 19-year-old boy who was in his school phase.
"I would never do anything wrong with you! well... Actually, I think I'm scared you're a robot or something, too. Not that I suspect you!"
Finally, after that day, the two ended up exchanging their phone numbers and promised to start a conversation when they were free. The first message was only sent a week later on his initiative, even though during the week they both playedthe several times together and even touched on the subject.
It was one of the best things you decided to do.
Initially, the conversations were simple and timid, both trying to find out more and more about each other and yet ashamed and even afraid to reveal more about yourselves. A time that now seemed funny considering that there wasn't a day now and that there weren't three calls, even if it was just to make sure everything was okay, if they had fed properly, if they had slept a little, if they hadn't died by injection of too much coffee – a story for another day – or if none of you had been kidnapped. You wouldn't admit it out loud, but you loved hearing his voice, even if only for a few seconds.
And even though he never met in person and without having the slightest certainty that everything the other spoke was true, the trust between you two was enormous. The way he was able to tell stories about itself gave the feeling of a closeness even to the distance between you, he talked about simple things, like the day he made a stash of chocolate milk and he thought he was going to die for it; told deep stories about Rika, her death and how it affected him – and how it affected you too, Rika seemed to be a great person – and told about his relationship with a new stranger, MC, and her choice to approach and date Zen after "bewitching" Yoosung – those being the words of it. And you heard it all without judging, how could you judge if you, better than anyone, know that no one chooses who you fall in love with.
It made you think about how you wanted something more.
Talking to him almost every day – whether through a chat, calls and even during the game – became... Strange, boring wouldn't be a proper word. Seeing it for photos has become inefficient. You wanted to get a chance to meet the blond boy in person. You wish you could face your violet eyes when you talk, you wish you could walk by your side and hear your laugh clearly and not just by connecting a cell phone.
And maybe you were a terrible person.
Was it enough for someone to treat her well so she could fall in love?
Especially knowing how he had for someone else?
ludicrous.
Totally ridiculous.
After you heard the whole saga and story of an unrequited love of him with the MC you were able to feel – temporarily – a little better. Whereas he also fell in love with an unknown one – and perhaps even a little worse, since he didn't even know what she was like – and in so few days. Obviously, it also helped hurt you a little more; Yoosung managed to fall in love with another girl even more mysterious and in such a short time while you and he knew each other for so many months and nothing happened between the two. Wouldn't that be proof that his feelings with you were limited and that they would never reach the level you'd like?
Your solution was to throw your face against the pillow, muffling a slight cry of frustration as you felt these thoughts enter your mind more and more. They weren't good feelings to have during a midnight, you knew that. Perhaps the mix of nervousness, shame, disappointment, fear and envy caused a psychological torture-like sensation that you shouldn't feel, you could call him, however, the fact that he's not online at LOLOL makes you believe he's already gone to sleep and you couldn't be inconvenient, especially considering he warned you two weeks ago that he'd be a little busier over the next few days to focus a little more on his studies.
All your thoughts were gone when you felt the phone vibrate gently in your hands.
Yoosung <3
___ , you're still online? It's a little late.
___
Yes
I can't sleep.
a lot in the head.
I should say the same thing, don't you have school tomorrow?
You promised you'd take care of your health and your grades!
Yoosung <3
You don't have to worry, I don't have ^^
From what I can see, you also don't...
Can I call you?
___
You're welcome.
Did something happen?
You don't usually stay until this time while there are no events in LOL...
Should I be worried?
Yoosung <3
I... I just need to talk. But don't worry!
A sigh escaped through his lips, even with him saying that it was not necessary to think too much about it, it was not common for him to be awake so far for no reason and when he should be focused on school.
The phone started ringing in your hands and you answered as fast as you can.
"Hi? I really hope I'm not disturbing you, but can I talk to you? So many things have happened lately, I can barely breathe!"
"I really wish I could say it's all the fault of the exams or some recipe that went wrong in the last week, but... I'd just be fooling myself, and I don't want to do that. I'm too old to try to fake it, hehe..."
"Is everything all right? Did something happen?"
"I need to ask some questions, I... I think this may take some time, it should be a little time consuming, but you are the only person I can talk right now... Is this a good time?"
"No... I don't want to disturb your sleep. You need to rest too! Having a good rest is just as important as eat properly your meals!"
"I would feel guilty if something happened to you for lack of sleep since you always answer my calls at this time... You always have a busy day, you need a quiet night with no worries or disturbances to get your sleep..."
Your eyes wandered towards the wall clock, it's past four in the morning, an unusual time even for you.
"You do not have to bother; I was already awake and unwilling to go to bed and it's not your fault..." indeed, partly was his fault... But you couldn't comment on that.
"Well... I always told you about Rika and her kindness, right? She was just amazing, always helped or others and possessed a golden heart... I felt i could do anything for her if she asked, I... I wanted to be someone important to her as she was to me..."
"And then came MC, she was also amazing, also helped others, prioritized the safety of everyone than her own and possessed a golden heart. I also felt i was able to do anything for her if she asked, I also wanted to be someone important to her just as she became to me"
You felt parts of your heart break with those words.
How selfish you were, isn't it?
Wanting all his attention.
"But... In the last few days, nothing like that seems to matter. Rika was someone special to me, even too much. But she's gone. and... All I can do is keep my good memories about her... I can't forget my whole story with her, but I've found that I can't think about her forever and forget everyone else."
"And... Mc... She was someone lovely, someone I don't want to end up being hurt by Zen, and the more time goes by, the more I realize that... Deep down... We wouldn't work..."
"That sounds crazy, doesn't it? After so much time wanting to stay with her and, in a random night stop and think about that sort of thing? I know... I feel it too, hehe..."
"It's hard to say that... Especially after all this time watching you endure my needy and seeing me cling to all the people who approach me..."
"I..."
"I... I think..."
"I think you're more important than them..."
For a few seconds, the silence reigned in the room.
Your breathing gets caught.
Your heart stopped some beats.
"Yoosung... You're talking about..."
"Sorry, I didn't want to be so sudden."
"I didn't want to take you away from me either. That's a silly thought that plagued my head, and if, after I spoke, you just left without saying anything? What if you were to leave me here? If you ended up meeting someone else to spend your time and forget me? I... I couldn't do anything but think and regret it later. But it seems fair to that point you know..."
"Everything is so different... With Rika and MC I felt a affection, but... Rika is my cousin and now MC seems like a sister to me. I care and I care about them. You're different."
"I... I really want to see you. I want to hear your voice perfectly and not through a screen with some noises. I want to be able to take you on a date. Even if it's for a coffee or a walk in the park during a starry night that I know you like. I would like to do as in a novel, in which I would hold your hand and..."
"I..."
You felt him sigh on the other side of the line, the noise similar to that of a roll over the mattress was heard.
"This is so hard... I feel ashamed to say all this out loud..."
"But... I..."
"I think I love you..."