Oh wow
Oh oh wow
Oh wow wow
Peter could go on forever
How.. how many were there that he didn't know about?
Was this even everyone??
There is noooo way this is all for him. It'd be so hard to wrangle up so many people. Peter refused to believe it. It was probably just good timing and a coincidence? Tony wouldn't get so many people just to be disappointed with Peter. That just doesn't happen.
And there were so many!
He wanted to name all them, but introducing too many characters in a story was stupid.
Luckily the author is stupid too so give a nice warm welcome to the cult.
Tony, yes.
Pietro, poking at the Wanda girl, who was trying to shoo him off and talk to Red Bull man.
Clint, next to Pietro, attempting to annoy the person next to him.
Natasha, the person next to him
Thor (holy shit). Thor was in the same room as Peter. Thunder go Boom boom man. Dreams were coming true.
An alien bug girl? Talking to a big loud guy?
Maybe another alien girl, she also might just be painted green. Looked cool tho.
Some dude talking with the raccoon from earlier (Rosen? Repel..? Rocket?? He forgot) and trying to see who can bend a fork the furthest. The raccoon was winning.
A girl with strawberry hair, trying to stop the raccoon and dude from bending forks.
A blue girl sitting by two empty seats (assuming that's where Peter and Tony were sitting)
A cat, he'd question it later.
Another dude next to strawberry girl who had his knee up on the table, which would've been weird if his whole leg wasn't up there too. Yes, it is weirder, but it wasn't actually attached to him. Prosthetic. The guy had a prosthetic on the table. Cool, moving on.
Dr Strange from before, across from one of the empty seats.
A tree. With a bowl of dirty-looking water in front of him. That's nice.
Sam and Bucky were currently having a thumb war
Steve was next to them, also across from one of the two empty seats.
Also man as tall as a pencil was there, literally the size of a pencil. Odd.
Bruce was at the edge of the table talking with Natasha. Thank Thor.
Oh. Thor was actually here. That is reallly going to take some getting used to.
So yes!
No reason to flip out at all! Not like, oh I don't know.. the avengers were in there with him?? Not to mention really noisy and.. well.. mostly noisy table he was about to attend.
Tony was rubbing circles on Peter's back to try and help soothe him. It only sorta worked, but it was the thought that counted.
"Alrighty, inferior beings! Our guest of honor has arrived!" Tony shouted, loud enough for everyone at the table to stare at Peter.
Oh joy
Peter gave a timid smile accompanied with a reluctant wave. What could go wrong? The famous question! Rephrasing it to seem a bit less cliche would go more along the lines of 'What event of humiliation had the universe planned for Peter today?' He'd made his own little guessing game out of habit for the top 3+ mistakes or results he received when the question popped into mind.
"Now, I know some of you have already had the honor of meeting little bubsy over here, but for those who haven't, sucks to suck! You'll be seeing a lot more of him around here, so I thought we might as well get introductions out of the way." Tony briefly explained as he led the kid over to the table.
Peter glanced around quickly with all of the info to take in. Bucky was starring at him kindly, almost a helpless look in his eyes. Peter decided to ignore that.
Everything smelt really nice. Peter was getting all sorts of assessments from the people around him, it wasn't everyday one was at a table with people who could end their life in like- a second or seven.
His hairs were raising and faltering at every movement someone made. Peter didn't think any there was there to fight, but the sheer power each of them held combine was, quite literally, like someone shoving ice down his back on a hot day. Especially when Thor lifted a glass up. Peter didn't really figure out what exactly triggered his head hair to dance, but he could see it dangle in front of his eyes rhythmically to Thor's movement. What the hell.
So that was fun, Yknow, dancing hair in the presence of Thor, the man, myth, and legend who is old enough to be Peter's great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great (I did the math) grandfather. As one does.
Tony seemed to be the only one who could see the slight twitching of Peter's newly discovered wack hair trick (which felt really weird by the way, kinda like when your hair stands on end but on your scalp and stronger with stress). He reached out and ruffled his kid's hair fondly. Peter was grateful that whatever the hell just happened could be put under wraps until they could test it out, but right now was People Time.
Or- Thing Time. Peter didn't know if half of the beings at the table with him were even naturally spawned or some sort of lab grown experiment, which would be cool! But also kinda creepy.
Off topic, anyways.
They took their seats, Tony next to the blue girl. A chorus of greetings and introductions rang around the room, some he'd never heard of and others he'd have cried if he wasn't so embarrassed to be alive at the moment.
Peter scooted his chair a bit closer to Tony's, trying to look over everyone in detail without catching their eye.
Tony covered his face with his mouth as the blue girl, Nebula, as he learned, muttered a question about the sun or something to Tony. He shook his head and snapped his fingers for the table's attention.
"Now I know you all have been waiting for a while-"
"You were ten minutes late, Tony" Rodney corrected.
"Fashionably late to the likes of you" he double corrected "and as I was saying before the crude interruption, I have entirely legally taken a child under my care for a temporal amount of time, questions will be felt with after dinner and with me because I probably should have done this slower and am seeing how certain aspects of this experience could be overwhelming" he explained, giving a small apologetic smile to the kid.
Peter shrugged a bit, simultaneously explaining it was Okay and that Tony could continue.
"On that note, or off, I don't care, sing off key if you please but- actually don't do that, just- Bon appétit losers, continue your conversations" Tony shook his hands as he lowered himself down to his seat again, not even realizing he stood up in the first place.
"You nailed that" Peter muttered to Tony.
"Sure as hell I did" Tony raised a glass to the man across the take to him as he replied.
Oh hell, Peter didn't see who.
Great
Tony said he was going to announce it tonight anyways, so being patient was really his only shot right now, assuming Tony told his spouse about the secret part of the secret.
Most of the night was quiet chatter. On Peter's end at least. Tony reassured him that the building had enough soundproofing to block out a scream from the other room. That was less comforting than it meant to be, but useful when Peter excused himself to the bathroom to avoid an 'endearing' conversation between the raccoon and a tree.
Although only half of it Peter could understand, which is weird enough on its own because it's a raccoon and a tree, which shouldn't be understood at ALL anyways, it definitely shone some unnecessary light on wether or not it was legal for the tree (which he learned was named Groot, after groot yelled out the same sentence for twenty minutes) to take the water from a swimming pool by making a giant bowl with his roots.
Tony let Peter go to the bathroom, because he knew that wasn't where the kid was going. He himself felt dumber sitting next to a rodent try to explain to a branch that they could take some kids with when they took the pool, because the kids were technically still in the pool and would be in the parent's sight as they chased after them.
Anyways.
Peter was just.. overwhelmed. Not in a bad way this time! Excited, really. Rare, but his heart was beating so hard that he could hear it over his own breathing. Incredible. Things felt great .
For once, he felt like he belonged there.
Starting off, he met Natasha. Right off the bat, they started a game on who could build the most intricate tower out of penny/fork/cup towers.
(This, but way worse).
Groot had built a wall so they couldn't see the other's idea.
Natasha had made a ring around her cup with pennies and forks, looking nearly impossible but wildly cool.
Peter had stacked a fork on top of the other two forks, using another penny to stabilize it. He knocked it over so many times that giggling could be heard from the other side of the wall at his supposed failures.
In the end they called it a draw.
After that, Natasha spent most of the dinner teaching Clint how to do it too.
Thor (yes!! The pikachu reincarnation himself!!) kept betting on how many people he could hold on his shoulders, and then after he listed a person, he'd say how many they could lift on their shoulders. It was a very long game, almost comical at how easy it was for Thor to entertain himself without having to actually talk to anyone. When he got to Peter, he guessed three. Peter assumed it was either to make him feel better, judged as if he were from Asgard, or comparing to some very still hobbits.
Either way, it was sweet it it's own way to Peter.
Dr Strange seemed like the Chaotic lawful friend that everyone thought was innocent, kind of like that Remus guy from that one book. Yknow, the werewolf who convinced a child to pretend an old teacher that used to have a job was dressed in drag to make him less afraid. That guy. Yeah, Dr Strange kept stealing pastries still left on the counter with his portals, no one seemed to notice.
Did Peter mention the portals?? Because that was insane. Nothing he could think of fit known science, but hey, neither did the existence of almost everyone here. That was something to get used to.
Peter caught Strange's eye when the man summoned a very droopy Danish pastry. Stephen, realizing he'd been caught, dropped it through the portal and folded his arms innocently, pretending to listen to a conversation Steve was having with Tony on the ethics of blAH blah blah boring stuff that will never be as cool as me.
Nebula. That one had been staring at Peter a LOT since they'd sat down, especially when he talked to Tony.
Upon working up the courage to talk to her, he learned quite a few things.
One, she clearly had trauma she wanted to talk to someone about. Just about anyone. It seemed like an opening line. He said he was from queens, and she said something along the lines of 'oh, that sounds nice. I am from my fathers creation. A molding of his design. I was taken to serve him, and at every failure, I was taken apart and remade'.
So yeah, a bit creepy. He could get behind that though, she seemed to really like green beans.
Two, she looked SO cool. Not even from just a nerd's point of view. Sure, a living thing made from what looked like metal (she opened up her arm and let him peek, not touch) was absolutely glorious, but she herSELF was awesome! Like- blue skin. Rad. Crazy cool eyes. Wow. Her voice, splendid! He was just straight up having a good time.
Three, she didn't look like she knew how to talk to anyone other than Tony, who was busy trying to convince Steve to give his spoon catapult back to bug Strange. Just like Peter. Well, he got his chances, but it was better to start with the quietest so he could get comfortable, and if things went well with everyone, they wouldn't be intimidated to talk to him. It was just what Peter would want to happen in her shoes.
He and Nebula somehow got on the topic of fruits from other planets she'd found similar to ones on earth.
I mean- it came after he learned aliens exist, and that she was an alien, but that's a whole other thing.
"I'm telling you, you're literally describing a blueberry right now"
"Peter, I've told you already. It is called a 'calvue'. There are no blueberries on Jensgrad" Nebula seemed patiently exasperated at Peter's stubbornness to blueberries.
"Yeah, but it's dark blue and mashes into purple, can be sweet, can be sour, ideal size is the size of your thumb, has soft spiky parts at the top, grows in the same climate, what else do you want from me??" Peter laughed, shoveling a mouthful of mashed potatoes into his mouth while she spoke.
"Peter, they peel green. I doubt this planet has a Berry also known for its dumb colors. You guys do not have that kind of thing" Nebula stared in entertained annoyance at the earth's mightiest heroes choice of guest.
"Wanna bet?"
"Yes. I will bet my fathers life on it." Nebula promised with a straight face "I know I am right and that means I will have a promise to kill him without facing legal charges on this planet, because it is a justified murder"
"Uh.. that's not really how that-"
"Prove me wrong, Parker" Nebula challenged, confidence seeping through her voice with truth that her father's days were numbered the second she proved him right.
"Alright... uh.. I'll look one up! You can compare them" Peter pulled his phone from his pocket, taking a second to type in the search bar before holding it up to her.
Nebula stared at it a moment.
"Which planet did this berry originate from for you?" Nebula uttered angrily, disappointed that she wouldn't have the means of murder against her father.
"Uh.. I'm pretty sure they came form here. I don't know though, I could be wrong"
"If they came from here, then whoever else started growing them has breached numerous laws against entering fresh and uneducated planets without warrant. I should find myself dealing with that in the future, thank you Peter" Nebula rose from her seat, typing something on her arm (or at least that's what it looked like, Peter was fascinated either way) and stepping out of the room.
As she left, Tony propped his head up leaning towards Peter casually.
"So, scared her off eh?" Tony joked, hoping to find out why she left.
"Uh, maybe? It was something to do with blueberries and laws that were breached on the planet. I didn't catch all of that" he tried explaining, looking back to the door she'd left through.
"I'll call her back in, sit tight kiddo. It's a family dinner, she isn't allowed to ditch today" he grinned, lightly punching Peter's shoulder.
While Tony did that, Peter was hiding the biggest grin he could.
A family dinner? Was that even possible? He knew these people weren't related in the slightest, not most of them at least. Yet they still called themselves a family.
Of course that could just be Tony, but looking around, it seemed mutual.
It made him think back to nebula's hatred for her dad.
It was a known thing here. They didn't care that she and her father were related, and her blatant hatred against him was like her own scent following her around, they still considered her part of the family.
And they considered Peter part of it too.
Or at least- he hoped.
I mean.. he'd only been there for a day. Almost no one should even trust him, much less welcome him with open arms?? It was foolish to even hope for something like that! He didn't even deserve it, no matter how much he wanted to.
Eventually, like all things, he would go back to his dull life. He'd go home and have movie nights, eat pasta, hang out with his aunt, do spidermaning, hang out with his few friends at school. Maybe not avoid flash as much, but essentially it'd all be the same.
It always was.
But! Gloomy was not a thing to be right now! He had to cherish this while it lasted. Peter didn't know when it would all crash and burn, but he sure as hell didn't want to think back on all of the things he could've done better when given the best options in his life!
Nebula begrudgingly sat back down next to Peter, stabbing the meatball on her plate with a fork.
"Uh, hi again" Peter said quietly, adjusting to being outside of his head again.
"Hello, Peter" Nebula ate the meatball, staring at the wall ahead of her.
"If you're angry about your father, whoever he is, wouldn't you be able to call those same people you'd call the blueberries about?" He tried suggesting, unsure how stable the ground he was treading on would be.
"I don't think you understand, Peter. I hate him with every fiber of my being. I would watch worlds burn just to see him suffer. Simply rotting in a cell isn't enough. I want to end him in battle. I want to watch the light die in his eyes, just as he did to me time and time and TIME again, laughing and planning more the whole way though. I won't have access to him if they manage to catch him, and I will catch him" Nebula stated plainly, going for another meatball.
"Sorry if this is insensitive, but why do you hate him? He did that to help you didn't he? Doesn't that.. I don't know, justify anything?" He realized how bad that sounded as soon as it came out. "Not that he wasn't in the wrong! He was very very wrong, you didn't deserve that at all, but I mean.. when your guardians want to help you, they sometimes have to rule with an iron fist, right?"
Nebula stared at him.
"Earlier." She grabbed his arm.
"What?"
"Earlier, you said you lived with your aunt, right?" Nebula raised his arm, starring right at him as she did so.
"Yeah, what does that have to do with anything?" He tugged on his arm, flexing his hand when he was free.
She looked at him a moment.
"..nothing, Peter. Never mind"
That was.. weird.
"You never answered my question though" Peter reminded, intent on receiving one.
"It's never justified to that extent." She spoke so clearly as she continued, "I thought a lot like you under his rule. I just wanted him to be, what, proud? Impressed? Accepting?" She scoffed. "I learned, not even a day into living with these people, that those things will never come from a person who is so willing to hurt you for their own gain. Never. They will always find an excuse to keep doing it. To make you better. I can't undo what's been done to me. Not ever. If it weren't for everyone at this table, I wouldn't even be able to look past it"
Oh
It.. it had to be justified. Right?
This was a completely different situation, they were not the same at all.
May wasn't pulling him apart?? She was keeping him together! She didn't want to make him..
Better..
She was just-
No
No no no
No she just wanted to help
Really! All she wanted to do was-
Was..
Make him better..
And he wanted..
He wanted to make her happy..
It wasn't the same
It just wasn't
She wasn't turning him into a robot or anything, not raising him for fighting, just...
Oh
Oh god
He was..
It wasn't justified.
May couldn't do this.
She couldn't.. she wouldn't
He had tears running down his face now. Why? He didn't even remember starting to cry. Things felt too close now.
Too many people around him to cry, even if no one was paying attention.
Nebula panicked. Crying?? What was she supposed to do with that! She didn't cry, she physically couldn't when Thanos took her tear ducts. What do you do when people cry?
Comfort???
"Uh.. there there" she awkwardly patted his shoulder, looking around the room for anyone who could help.
Peter focused on his hands. He needed to clip his nails. The blurry tears made it hard to see the smaller lines on his fingers, and the liquid dripping from his eyes were landing on his skin hot, then chilled by the air exposure.
When he looked up again, there was a little dome of tree around him, nebula, and the groot guy.
That's.. nice.
He didn't say anything.
Neither did they.
Just sat in silence while Peter quietly sniffled.
His aunt was actually in the wrong?
He hated to believe it, but everything Nebula described was accurate. Other than the nonexistent hatred for his aunt.
It couldn't be that way?
Maybe Nebula just hated her dad so much that she refused to believe he did it for her.
Or maybe he was just that much different from her? Maybe he really did deserve it while her innocence was destroyed by blood, others and her own.
Maybe she was just wrong. Maybe aunt May really loved him, not just using him for her own gain. I mean- she said she loved him?
"Did— did he ever tell you he loves you.." Peter asked.
Nebula thought a moment.
"Once, yes. When I killed my first man for him" she looked up at the wooden roof "I thought he was telling the truth too. Happiest day of my life! Now it's all rotten in my head. He was so proud of himself for building a machine from something living. His smile made me feel valid, cared for! Looking back, I was a fool. Every second with him only makes my memories feel more and more tainted. That is why I will kill him one day. He killed me"
Groot laid an arm (branch??) on her shoulder.
This was.. nice.
It was quiet, and Nebula had already gone through this all. Even if their situations were different, he was happy to help with such a load of emotional baggage.
It was quiet for a while, Peter had calmed down considerably. No matter what excuse he made, somehow May always ended up the bad guy.
That was something to ignore for now.
A knocking came from outside of the dome.
"What are you funky rats doing in there!?" Rocket screamed, muffled by the wall.
Peter chuckled, groot screamed back.
"I AM GROOT, GROOT"
"You watch that language asshole!" Another knock could be heard "They're just watching vine, you know kids these days and their Adam's and that FRE SH A VA CA DO crap and whatnot"
Peter laughed, wiping his eyes on his sleeves.
"We could watch vine if you two wanted" he suggested, pulling out his phone.
"Why would we watch a plant" Nebula looked bored, looking at the vines growing from Groot.
If it made Peter happy, why not? Anything to stop the crying, it was unnerving.
"No" Peter gasped
"What?"
"You've never seen vine?? How old are you??"
"I am thirty years old" she said plainly.
"That's.. fair actually" he started searching something up on his phone.
"I am Groot" Groot muttered.
"No, Groot"
"What did he say?" Peter clicked on a video, looking up at them.
"Don't worry about it, Peter" she muttered, still looking at the vine.
"Alrighty. Well, groot, could you uh.. hold the phone up please? If not it's fine, I was just wondering-" Groot complied and lined it up on one of his branches.
Nebula looked confused.
And so it begins.
—
HON HON HONN HELLO
I did it!! I wanted this one to end on a happy note, but I worry I just shoved the sad off to quickly. I keep jumping into chapters with my only plan being the ending events, completely ignoring what the plot line is lol.
Anyways, it is done, I am alive, and our bird may be coming later than we thought because he's being a punk and refusing to eat actual bird food.
So! Other than that, things are going well, had an episode yesterday but all is glorious this morning and I want orange chicken, how has everyone's day been? If you wanna share, I don't want to be annoying lol.
If you read this, by the law of me, you must have a unexplainably good day, or By order of the high council (me), you will be split up and distributed intp many bird's nests with a mind control chemical to start the uprising of my legion.
I bid thee farewell, lovely beings.
Signed, someone who's cat got locked in their room and started meowing around 11pm, and didn't stop until 4am when they were finally let out by a very tired individual (Me).