Damn right he won't be in his own room. Once I share with him my new outlook I don't plan on him ever being in his own room again. Hell I might not even book a separate room for him so my fear won't be able to push him away.
The elevator opens to the floor we are staying on, but when he turns left out of the elevator to head to my room and drag him right toward his. His steps stumble due to my sudden change in direction.
"Thought we were going to yours," he questions me in a tone dripping with confusion.
Not breaking stride I explain my actions. "We are. But first we are getting all our stuff. No way in hell am I letting you in your room without me. Who knows when Lucy will strike."
I can hear him laughing at me while I stomp down the hallway, still muttering about Lucy under my breath. We finally reach his door and I swipe the key I have. When the light turns green I swing the door open and shove him inside.
"Pack," is all I say while taking a seat on the couch.
He stands in the middle of the room staring at me as though I have grown three heads. This is not my normal behavior and I'm sure I'm throwing him in a tail spin. He widens his stance and stares my down resting his hands on his hips.
"If I didn't know you better I would start to think you might be jealous," he says in bewilderment. A light blush blossoms over my face and my eyes focus on the ground in front of me. Ryder steps towards me till his shoes are in my line of sight. Then he knees before me so our faces are inches a part. "I was only kidding. No reason to get upset sweetheart." My hear clenches when he calls me sweetheart. That nickname seems to only come around when we are alone and his emotions are high.
"I'm not upset," I tell him peeking up at him through my eyelashes.
He falls back so he's sitting on his butt. "Then why are you shutting down on me." Then a breathlessness enters his voice. "Unless you were jealous." I can detect a slight hope in his tone.
Ignoring his unasked questions I say, "go pack." He gets a goofy grin on his face, but stands to do my bidding. I thought I heard him mutter she is jealous.
Since Ryder isn't one to unpack everything he brings with him, unlike some of the other guys, the repacking of his belongings takes him very little time to complete. Which I am more then happy about because my wandering eyes was causing another party of my anatomy to awaken with a vengeance. All I could think about was having him naked in my bed especially every time he would bend over.
I lick my lips in anticipation of having them wrapped around his dick. The achy need between my legs has me crossing and uncrossing them. When he's finished with his task he glances over at me and his eyes flare with when he notices how turned on I am.
"Aubree," he say clenching and unclenching is hands. I saunter up to him and he tenses the closer I get to him.
When I get close enough to touch him I pretend that I'm reaching for him, but last minute I reach down and grab his bag. Anger flashes in his eyes telling me I will pay for my little stunt later. Bring it on rocker. Bring it on.
"All ready to go," I ask running my eyes over the room doing a second check. The room was as empty as when he entered. Ryder is never one to leave something behind. Unlike Dimitri. I was constantly having hotel ship his belongings back to him. Till Skylar came into his life. If I didn't love her before I would love her for the fact she kept him organized. One less man child I needed to worry about.
Ryder also takes another glance around, "by the way you are acting I'm not coming back here."
I raise a brow at him. "Are you complaining?" He's fought to be a permanent fixture in my room and he has never been able to hide the pain in his eyes whenever I would kick him out.
When he doesn't respond right away with a hell no or something along those lines I start to fidget in worry. Maybe I read the room wrong. Fuck. Did I wait to long to make my move? Maybe now all he wants is sex from me. Internally I'm banging my head against the wall, but outwardly I'm as cool as can be.
What if I've now lost him and all due to my own stupidity. Would only serve me right if he walked away from me. How many times can a person put themselves out there only to be reject each and ever time before they give up. If the roles were reversed I don't think I would have the same patience Ryder has.
More time has passed and he still hasn't answered me. He keeps his face blank not giving me a single sign as to what he is thinking. My anxiety begins rise and my lungs start to feel slightly restricted. I will my legs to walk away, but no matter how much I push myself to follow the command I'm frozen in place. Seconds start to feel like minutes.
Ryder shakes his head as though he is trying to clear his thoughts. My behavior is probably confusing him and making him unsure of his choices. I've invited him to my hotel for fun, but never to stay the night. Sure sometimes we would both fall asleep and lose track of time. On those occurrences I'm pretty sure Ryder forgets the time on purpose. I have never met a guy who loves to cuddle more than Ryder which is so against his personality.
"Are you sure," he asks softly glancing down at his feet.
This is a turning point for us. If I reject him this one last time he will more than likely walk away. Thankfully for the both of us I have finally decided to stop being a wimp and to put my trust in him. I put my trust in the wrong person in the past and a have allowed that one decision to rule my life. Not any more.
I invaded his space and kiss him. "I'm sure." Then I reach around and slap his ass. "Let's go," I tell him with a wink. He rolls his eyes, but he is smiling with glee. I love putting a smile on his face instead of the normal frown I tend to put there.
I continue to the door wanting to get the show on the road. Poor Ryder has no clue how much we have to discuss before we can get on to the fun we had planned. But he's going to be ecstatic. At least I hope he is.
I open the door and slip out heading to not only my room, but our future. My heart races with each step I take. Ryder slips his hand in mine startling me.
"Easy Aubree. Why so jumpy all of a sudden?" He asks me giving my hand a slight squeeze. He then bends closer to me. "This is not going to be the first time I've been inside of you." The little shit then starts to laugh at his own joke.
I pull my hand from his and playfully shove him. He staggers to the side. "Keep it up Mr. Clark and I will send you back to your room to deal with whatever might happen."
"Maybe I will take my chances with Lucy. She didn't appear to be the violent type. Unlike you." He mutters earning a glower from me.
I maintain my intended course muttering under my breath the entire way listening to Ryder have a coughing fit to cover his laughter. He thinks he's so funny. Not. Finally I reach the door and swipe the key. I tap my foot while I wait for the light to turn green. Oddly enough the light turns red. So I swipe my key again and yet again the light turns red. What the fuck is going on? In all my hotel stays I have never has this happen.
Ryder walks up behind me and watches while I continuously swipe the key and the red light remain. With each swipe of my key and each denial of accesses my anger grows. I've lost count on how many times I've tried. I spin around ready to go to the front desk and do battle when I discover a Ryder peeled over having either a seizer or a silent fit of laughter. When he notices I'm watching him he lets his laugher lose and the sound fills the hallway. I half except people to poke their heads outside of their door to investigate what is happening.
I try to get him to be quite before he draws more attention to us. We already have one person that knows we are here and we don't need anymore. Ryder stands back up and whips the tears from his eyes.
"You do realize," peels of laughter, "that you," more laugher. Then he bursts back out in laughter cutting off what he was going to say. I cross my arms and impatiently tap my foot waiting for him to finally gain control of himself and finish telling me what he was implying. He takes a few deep breaths trying to regain control of himself. Just as I started to believe we were over the hurdle he starts all over again.
I roll my eyes and grow tired of waiting. Dropping the bag I was holding I turn to head down the hall to have another round with Lucy and no way in hell is Ryder coming with me. He grabs my arm halting my progress.
He takes one more deep breathe and then tries to talk again. "Aubree take a look at the key you were using." I glance at the key and shrug my shoulders. Appears like any other key to me. "No Aubree really look at it."
To humor him I glance at the key once more, but this time I don't only flip it from side to side. That is when I realize my mistake. I was using the wrong key. The key I was using was the one for Ryder's room. In my frustration at the situation and him I throw the key card at him hitting him in the face.
I turn around ignore his fake cries of pain and pull out the correct card. This time when I swipe the card the light turns green. I open the door and step in. For a split second I toss around the idea of closing the door in his face, but decide not to.
Ryder joins me in the room and tosses his bags into the closet. He then gathers me in his arms and starts to kiss me. "Now where were we."
I push him back and he tries once again to kiss me, but I hold him back. "I need to talk to you about something first."
When he recognizes that I'm not budging on my decision no matter how hard he tires to convince me otherwise he slumps to the edge of the bed and crosses his arms. "Talk," he says sounding depressed.
Rather than joining him on the bed I pace the room because if I was to join Ryder he would not be able to keep his hands to himself and we would never have the conversation I want to have. No I need to have. Time to set the record straight.
Taking a deep breath I begin. "I've been doing some soul searching lately and Ryder I've learned a few things about myself, but more importantly what I want. This isn't easy for me. You of all people understand how difficult it is for me to discuss what I'm feeling. I wish I could be more like you because you have never had a problem expressing to me where you stand on us. Where as I tend to turn tail and run."
I stop in my pacing to stare at him. He needs to be able to see the sincerity in my eyes and know that I am talking from my heart and no longer letting my head run the show. "Last time we had a serious talk about us you told me you loved me and I walked out the door. That was months ago now." My heart starts to race and my palms become sweaty. "And I've regretted that moment ever since. I hated the time we were together, but not really together. I always felt like a part of me was missing."
"Sweetheart what are you trying to say," Ryder asks me in a wavering voice.
I stop directly in front of him. "Ryder I'm trying to tell you that I love you."