"Why?"
"I can't live in this pain. Not anymore... I love you."
"Please,just come out from there."
He pulls me out and I fall into his arms. He carries me up to my room and lays me down on the bed,I'm still in my school uniform so he sets me down some of my pyjamas and I put them on,him looking away. He brought a bag full of his stuff and does the same. I just lie there,facing away from him,not allowing any tears in my eyes. He gently and slowly wraps an arm around me and I turn round just to see him in his pyjama bottoms without a shirt.
I let my hands trail down his solid chest then slowly move towards him and kiss his neck softly,it arches and he pushes himself against me as his arms grip at my neck,asking for more kisses. So I do as he says,my hands losing themselves in his blonde hair. He then rolls over so I lie underneath him as he leans down then softly brushes his lips against mine so that I can barely feel it so I pull his lips back to mine as I whisper over and over into his ear how much I love him. I then flip round so I lie on top of him as I kiss his jaw then trail down to his Adams-Apple,as I place light kisses in it he let's his head back. Then he flips us over to land in our original position.
"I prefer it like this." Then he kisses me once more as his hands ghost over the hem of my pyjama top.
For once I don't feel afraid. My heart is beating like crazy but I know that's because of my excitement. Being with him,us being together felt like something completely new. Nothing how I expected it would be. To feel his hands stroke the skin on my body. It felt like magic.
I wake up in the morning,my bare body only covered by the sheets in my bed as I have a pair of arms wrapped around me. I let out a smile then move round to see he's still sleeping. So I kiss his lips and he wakes up,eyes fluttering open.
"Good morning." He says,tucking a strand of hair behind my ear "Last night was amazing."
"I know."
"Are you feeling okay now?"
"A little."
He's talking about two things. Mainly my sadness but also for what happened last night,about happens for a girl on her first time. But I know it's okay. With him the pain is little,that doesn't happen very often.
We both get dressed then go downstairs to get breakfast. Eating our cereal then getting on with studying and studying for the test. After a few hours we take a walk through the park,we sit there on the bench overlooking the huge duckpond.
"Would you still love me?" I ask "Even if I'm broken."
"I'll love you for whoever you are of whoever you choose to be. You're not broken,you're breaking,and I'll be the glue that holds you together. Be strong."
"What's the point. What's he point of being strong when everyone I love knows I'm weak?"
"You prove them wrong."
"Sometimes I wish that pill actually worked. Sometimes I wish it was me not Michelle."
"If you died I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
"I'm easily replaceable."
"Not to me. Just tell me what you're so afraid of."
"You!"
"What?"
"You."
"Why?"
"I'm scared. I never knew I could feel this was about someone. And now it's here and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm not supposed to be like that this isn't me. Is growing up always this hard?"
"Yes."
"Why does love hurt this much?"
"Because it's real. That's exactly what love is meant to do."