Loki's POV
It had felt like passing out, but in the most horrible way imaginable. Especially as you'd been there to witness it.
Just as being erased from existence had felt like passing out, being brought back into existence felt like waking up from a long, long sleep.
Loki hadn't moved from where he'd disappeared; his arms were still out as though to reach for someone. You.
His hands dropped to his sides as he realised that you weren't there, his mind going at a hundred miles an hour. Thanos had obviously got his hands on all six stones, that's why he'd disappeared... but how, then, was he alive?
The kid, Peter, was stood a little while away, staring at his hands, as were the two aliens and the one you'd called 'Quill'.
Y/N?
When Loki received no reply he turned in a full circle, looking for you. And where was Stark? The wizard was sitting upon some debris a few feet away, frowning, his eyes closed.
"What the heck is goin' on?" Quill asked loudly.
"Y/N?" Loki called, still unable to see you. He was beginning to panic; not knowing what was going on was infuriating and terrifying.
"She's not here." the wizard said, his eyes closed.
"Where is she?" Loki asked, walking towards him. His limbs felt weird, as though they would take some getting used to. What was happening?
"I'm not sure yet." Strange said, his eyes closed, a frown on his face. Loki tried to read his mind, but was repelled by a force so strong that he was forced to take a step back.
"I wouldn't if I were you." Strange muttered.
"What do you mean you don't know yet?" Loki asked him in annoyance. Strange didn't reply, his frown deepening. Quill, Peter and the aliens had gathered behind Loki. Peter didn't look so good.
"Hey, you alright?" Quill asked him, looking concerned.
"I- yeah. What's going on? Where's Mr. Stark?" Peter asked.
"The wizard is looking for them... I think." Loki said, turning back to Strange.
The odd looking group stood in silence, watching Strange, until finally his eyes snapped open. And he smiled.
"What is happening?" Loki asked, fear fuelling his aggression.
"We don't have long. They did it... they really did it." Strange was muttering to himself, a large smile still on his face.
"HEY. Wizard man. What's the deal?!" Quill yelled.
"Okay, uh, this is a lot." Strange said, looking down at the group in sudden concern.
"It's been five years since Thanos snapped us out of existence. The Avengers managed to find a way to get the stones back an hour ago and they've brought everyone back, but Thanos has time travelled to the future to try and reverse what they've done.. or re-reverse it I suppose." Strange said.
Loki had quite literally never felt such shock in all his life. He couldn't speak, couldn't think. The others appeared to be just as horrified. Five years. You'd been without him for five years-
"Why did Thanos need to time travel to get to... now? He got the stones. He won." Quill asked, confused.
"Thor killed him five years ago." Strange answered, already distracted by some other vision he was seeing.
"What?" Loki asked, unsure if he'd heard correctly.
"Yeah, Thanos died, but now he's back, and we've got to go now and fight him. So shush, while I figure out how to do this." Strange demanded, waving him away.
Peter sat down heavily on the floor, staring at the ground. Loki looked down at him, and followed suit.
Five years.
You were alive, that he knew, and was entirely grateful for. But it had been five years.
"I'll be back in a minute." Strange suddenly announced, before standing up abruptly and disappearing through a portal. Loki watched the place where he'd vanished, wondering how you'd got back to Midgard from this place. Maybe you hadn't.
Where were you? How were you?
You would have moved on. Loki knew it, but didn't want to believe it. Five years.
He'd proposed to you. You wouldn't have worn the ring for that long, not if you'd thought him dead. Christ, you would have had to live with that feeling. Every new thought that came into Loki's mind felt like an iron clamp tightening around his heart.
He couldn't decide whether he hoped you had moved on and found happiness or still loved him and had inevitably been miserable for five years. No, he knew exactly which one he hoped, and it was the most selfish thing he'd ever wished for.
Strange had said 'the Avengers' had got the stones back. Were you included in that team? Was Thor? God, was Thor even alive?
Loki pushed his palms into his eyes, wishing he could stop thinking for just a moment. It was painful.
He wanted to see you more than anything, and make sure you were okay. What would he do if you'd moved on? What if you'd married someone else? Had children? No, stop. Stop it. There was no point worrying until he knew.
Peter was watching him when he looked back up.
"Are you okay Mr. Loki?"
"Just... call me Loki. And no." Loki told him, before realising he'd probably been too harsh.
"Sorry. I'm-" words evaded Loki as he thought of you when he'd disappeared three minutes ago. Five years ago. You'd been so heartbreakingly terrified, and there had been nothing he could do about it.
Now that was five years ago for you, and three minutes ago for him.
"Me too." Peter said, hanging his head.
Suddenly Strange reappeared through a portal, breathing hard.
"Right, get up. It's time." he panted.
"Time for what?" Peter asked, standing up. Once again Loki followed suit.
"To fight- did I not just explain this to you?" Strange sighed, before creating yet another portal with his hands, and gesturing for everyone to follow him through it.
You were on the other side, Loki could feel it. He was terrified.
Quill went first, followed by Drax and Mantis, and then Peter. Loki brought up the rear, his mouth falling open slightly as he saw Thanos' army surrounded by hundreds of glowing portals, out of which thousands of beings were pouring.
"Did you do all this?" Quill asked Strange in disbelief.
"Well, technically no, but yes." Strange replied.
Loki wasn't listening. There was a girl with purple eyes stood across the growing battlefield in front of a mound of smoking debris which looked as though it had minutes previously been a large building, and she was staring right at him.
He was in front of you in a heartbeat.
Your face gave away nothing but shock, your eyes burning purple like Loki had only ever seen when he'd died. You were soaking wet, a huge cut was split on your forehead and you were covered in dirt; clutching a sword which looked as though it was Asgardian, but that was impossible. A large, silvery scar ran down the left side of your face, and your hair was long, longer than he'd ever known it. You looked so different. Older.
You weren't one bit less beautiful.
It took him a few seconds to remember to check if you were still wearing Frigga's ring. You weren't.
He'd been expecting it, but it didn't hurt any less. At least there wasn't a different ring on your finger, that would have been worse.
"Loki." you whispered.
He couldn't speak. He just looked at you.
"I'm not- dead, am I?" you asked, your voice shaking.
Loki shook his head in disbelief. This wasn't how he'd imagined things going in the last five minutes. He didn't know what he'd been expecting to happen.
"No." he breathed.
"Okay." you replied, the second syllable of the word getting lost in the sob which escaped you as you dropped the sword you were holding and took a step towards him, your face crumpling as you half raised your arms to reach out to him.
Loki moved forwards and met you in the middle, holding you against his chest as you shook, shock radiating from you.
Five years. Five years. Five years.
Eventually he pulled back, and, unable to help himself, he raised his hand to touch the scar just above your eyebrow.
"What happened?" Loki asked, his voice hoarse. You closed your eyes at the sound, as though it caused you pain to hear him speak. Your mind was shut off; he couldn't tell what you were feeling. He hated it.
"It's just a scratch." you told him, tears in your eyes as you opened them; your voice so full of emotion it was barely audible. But you were smiling. Something cracked in Loki's chest as he smiled back at you.
Not knowing if you still loved him was destroying him.
You looked past him suddenly at the growing army behind him, as though only just realising what was going on.
"We-" you started, unable to finish the sentence as you looked back at him. Loki didn't need to read your mind to finish that sentence off for you.
"We should go and fight."
You nodded.
"Come on then." Loki said. You nodded again, summoning the sword back to your hand, sheathing it and then looking right at him.
"Stay with me."
It wasn't a request. Nor was it an order that Loki particularly wanted to disobey.
"I will."
Your POV
Thanos' ship had completely destroyed the compound. You weren't entirely sure how you'd made it out alive; you supposed you had your magic to thank for that. You'd managed to get the others out too, with some help from Scott.
When you'd finally resurfaced you'd wondered for a moment if you'd actually died, because before you were hundreds of glowing portals surrounding the wreckage of the compound, and facing you was the largest army you'd ever seen, led by Thanos.
You didn't know how he or his army had got here, but right now it was very much a question of attack now, ask questions later.
And then Loki had emerged from one of the portals. The look on his face as he'd looked at you had all but confirmed your suspicions that you'd changed too much for him to still be in love with you.
He'd just looked scared, and confused. At least he'd hugged you back when you'd caved to your need to touch him and make sure he was real.
Alive.
His mind was open, but you were too scared to look. And besides, the most important battle in the universe was about to take place right in front of you. But that didn't mean that you were going to lose him again.
You were about to take your heartbreak out on a bunch of disgusting looking aliens. The hundreds of emotions around you were burning with such intensity that you could hardly distinguish theirs from yours; you could hear nothing but a loud ringing in your ears.
Tony was next to you, and Thor, and the rest of the team, and more. Loki was behind you. You didn't even blink as Steve held out his hand and Mjolnir flew into it. He said something, you had no clue what it had been, but then there was an explosion of noise and you surged forward towards Thanos and his army.
You kept your mind devoid of thought as you ran. You didn't want to think until this was all over with. Magic burned at your hands; it couldn't escape you fast enough. You wiped out hordes of creatures with your mist alone, anger overriding every other emotion.
You became tired fairly quickly. You'd had no reason to use your magic with this intensity for years, and you weren't used to it, but you pushed through. Loki was staying close to you, as you'd asked him to.
Don't think about him yet.
Just concentrate. Fight.
After some time you used your magic to summon your sword into your hands and used that instead of your magic for a while in an attempt to recharge. You were bone tired already.
Time didn't exist. Your arms were aching. Blood and dirt and sweat coated your face and made it hard to see. You had no idea how long this was going to last, or where the gauntlet even was for that matter.
Your train of thought was interrupted as the ground next to you erupted abruptly in an explosion of dirt and bodies from both sides of the fight. You landed on your back, winded, and before you'd even had a chance to think about getting back to your feet someone had you by the arm.
You hadn't even opened your eyes before Loki had teleported you both to the edge of the battlefield. Frequent tremors and loud explosions shook the ground, but you were once again in disbelief at the sight of Loki's face. He was here.
Only then did it occur to you that he'd been speaking to you. He was looking at you intently. You struggled to form words first in your brain and then with your mouth.
"What?" you finally managed.
"Are you okay?" he repeated, worry etched into his face. You could do nothing but nod, still staring at him, half lying on the ground. One of his hands was behind your head.
"Sit up." he told you, helping you up and looking over his shoulder at the ensuing fight. You tore your gaze away from his face and looked over his shoulder at the fight. Thanos' ship was raining missiles down on the battlefield; upon both his side and yours.
"We need to go back. I'm fine." you said, trying to get to your feet. Loki grabbed both of your hands in his. You sat back down heavily, your face inches from his.
"Open your mind. Please. I can't- I hate it-"
He couldn't articulate his thoughts properly, and when you looked confused he only got more desperate.
"See, you can usually just understand me, just like that, but you- I just-"
He looked so upset. Did this mean he still loved you? You were very conscious that now probably wasn't the time for this, but at this moment it was all that mattered to you.
You were just about to open your mouth to tell him that you didn't know how to open your mind even if you'd wanted to, but he beat you to it.
"Is there someone else?"
He may as well have slapped you across the face.
"What?"
"You heard me. Just tell me. I need to know." Loki said, his jaw set. Yet again you seemed to have lost the ability to speak.
"I- no-" you stammered. How could he even begin to think that you would have moved on?
"Open your mind. Please." he asked you quietly. He didn't believe you.
"I can't. I don't know how." you told him, tears filling your eyes.
Five years since you'd last seen him; almost seven since you'd last had to open your mind after blocking him out for so long. You weren't actively trying to block him now, so how could you know how to stop what you didn't even realise what you were doing?
"I'll try and get in. Just let me." he said, shifting closer to you so that your foreheads were almost touching. Your eyes flicked over to the battlefield where missiles were still raining down from the ship and then back to him.
"Wait. It's five years of memories, will you- I mean..."
Loki was smirking a bit. Your chest physically ached at the sight: you'd missed him so much.
"I'll be fine." he told you, closing his eyes. You did the same.
The slight pressure in your skull was more familiar to you than you'd realised it would be, and the minute you felt it you realised that of course the wall around your mind was up. It had gone up the minute Loki had died and your mist had tried to protect you, and had stayed up ever since.
Until now.