"How did you know about him?" I was still in disbelief and Kiyong let out a wry smile.
He crossed his arms in front of his chest while staring at me. He judged me with his gorgeous eyes and flashed a half-smile. As if my question was a lame joke to him, he didn't bother to answer.
I was so nervous; it wasn't part of the plan. It shouldn't have been like this. I had ruined everything. I had lost my confidence to speak. I rarely saw him angry. He was mostly very kind, thoughtful, and mature.
But this time. I knew that I was at fault. Didn't try to find any excuse. I let out a heavy sigh and spoke to him slowly, "I'm sorry," I started to sob.
Kiyong kept his mouth shut and was staring at me with mixed expressions that I failed to decipher. I didn't know what those expressions mean. But I could feel that he was disappointed.
"I really am sorry," I hated myself for being so shameful right now. He knew that I hadn't fully given my love for him yet he was willing to wait and gave me space to heal my broken heart until the moment he thought I was ready.
He proposed to me, he expressed his sincerity to take our love to a higher level, yet I was the one who wasn't ready for him. He waited for me for a year, patiently let me healed, but once the past that I had never been able to erase from my stupid brain came back. Bringing back all the pain in the past, so selfishly trying to calm everything back. I was the one who incapable to resist the temptation, and I had committed a great sin.
I was about to speak again, but Kiyong took a deep breath and said, "I can't lie that you disappoint me, Hyeyoon. You're being dishonest to me, I don't like it," his tone was firm.
I was speechless and my lips trembled. I stayed silent and heard everything he said quietly. I lowered my face and let my tears ran down my cheeks heavily. I was too ashamed to look at him right now. I had no idea how far he knew the truth. And I didn't know if he would be able to forgive me after this.
In between my sobs, I tried really hard to let out my words clearly. I saw him clenching his jaw stiffly. He tried to control his emotion and looked at me sharply, "I'm sorry," I said weakly. "I really am sorry. I don't know what to say, and I don't want to make an excuse, but I'm sorry. I do love you, Oppa, I hope you can see that,"
He gritted his teeth and his voice came out cold and stoic, "but you love him, too, Hyeyoon! Don't deny it," he slapped me literally with his words. I was left speechless and dumbfounded. I couldn't counter his statement. He was throwing facts that I hardly denied all along, he even knew it more than me.
With hurt in his voice, he rebuked, "If you want to go back to him, go ahead, I never force you to stay with me if your heart says otherwise, Hyeyoon. Don't force yourself to stay at a place that you are unsure of yourself," he paused, but I let him finished his speech. "You're tormenting yourself,"
It was the first time I saw him like this. I still couldn't look up at him. My heart hurt, my head hurt, I couldn't think properly. I felt extremely guilty for Kiyong. I knew that everything was my fault and he had the very right to be upset right now. I listened patiently as he poured all his emotion, I had to bear with it.
He ran his hand through his hair frustratingly and finally took a deep breath just to breathe out again slowly. There was a moment of pause as none of us had utter anything. Kiyong was a great man. He was kind, mature, charismatic, and very thoughtful. I had let him down and deceived him. I was guilty.
"Hyeyoon," his voice softened. I raised my head slightly to see him, and he was now facing me as he had calmed down. Though there was still a hint of hurt in his eyes, he told me, "You know I can't bear to see you crying, but you also need to know that you're at fault, right, Hyeyoon?" Kiyong was asking me and I nodded. I didn't deny anything.
He was now choosing his best words before giving me one final choice, "I won't make it difficult for you but I can't be two-timed. I'm fine if you want to go back to Rowoon, but please, I don't want to be the bad person who gets in your way to be together, let me out of it," he said at last.
I wasn't ready to hear that our relationship would end this way. And suddenly I feared losing him. I knew that I had committed a great sin, I was unforgivable. But Kiyong was the one who healed me when I was completely broken-hearted. Kiyong was the one who would give me comfort whenever I felt anxious and scared that I couldn't be happy anymore.
He cured me of my depression, and with him, I could finally find love. I could find another hope for my life. He treated me so gently as he knew I was so fragile. I couldn't lose him.
"No," there was suddenly an urge to hold him, he was about to let my hand go, and I won't let him did that. He was stunned upon seeing me moved from my bed and tried to reach him. "No, don't say those things. I beg you," I started crying again and I grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry, Oppa, I'm sorry, I love you," I helplessly tried to move toward him and he quickly grabbed my body as I stumbled.
"Hyeyoon," he sighed as now I was standing barefoot and leaned down to hug him. Kiyong didn't move from his seat and let me cried on his shoulder.
Yet again, this man let me poured all my tears and emotion as he was patiently caressing my back gently. I could hear a faint shush from him as he was trying to calm me down. I didn't know what did I do to him all this time. Why couldn't I see how he loved me this much. Yet I was still thinking of my past and failed him. I was so ungrateful.
"Don't leave me, please. Don't say things like that. I can't be without you, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I know I made a mistake. I know you're upset; I know you're disappointed. And I'm a fool, for lying to you, for being dishonest to you. Not telling you the truth. I'm sorry," I sobbed so hard and he now moved me to sit on his lap while caressing my wet cheek.
He let out a heavy sigh, "Stop crying, Hyeyoon. I can't talk to you if you're crying like this," he protested but I couldn't stop crying. I was trying to stop my sobs, but after a few minutes he let me cried out all my feelings, I could finally control myself.
"You look like a kid, right now," he sighed again. "I don't know what to do with you," he caressed on my face and fixed the straps of my messy hair. "Feels better?" he asked once I stopped sobbing.
I breathed in and out then nodded to him.
Kiyong then carried me bridal style and sat me on the edge of the bed. He pulled the chair so that he was now facing me completely. He let out a soft breath and stared at me with a serious look. I was looking down, afraid to meet his eyes but then he raised my chin so that I could stare back at his eyes.
"Hyeyoon look at me," he said and I slowly looked at him. "I knew your feeling even before I learned that your ex-boyfriend was coming back to Korea. I know you loved me, but your heart was never one hundred percent for me, did you know that?" he threw the question back at me.
I lowered my head and thinking about his saying. He was right, but I was too ashamed to admit that. "But I never wanted to go back to Rowoon," I told him. I raised my face again and firmly stated, "I can even tell him right now to cut off all our connection and pretend not to know each other ever again, if that what you want me to do to prove that I'd never wanted to go back to him,"
Kiyong let out a wry smile and shook his head, "you don't have to do that," he laughed bitterly. "It's too much,"
"Then what do you want me to do?" I asked him, confused.
He stopped for a few seconds before proceeded, "do nothing," he said shortly. He then was being serious again, "okay then, I'll give your one more chance, just to see if you're confident with your decision," he said. "Can you cut off every communication with him? Don't talk, don't call, don't text," he halted. I looked up at him and he smirked, "and don't even think about him, ever again," he then dismissed our discussion with a dead end to my side.
I was stunned for a brief moment upon hearing his last words. He forbade me from thinking about Rowoon. I could feel my lids trembled nervously and I dazed for a moment before finally got my sanity back. I nodded at him quietly and he accepted that.
"Okay," he said and got up from his seat.
Just a few seconds after that, someone knocked on the door, a nurse and a doctor came in and smiled at the two of us.
"Good afternoon," they greeted nicely before walked in. "I'm doctor Han, I'm here to check on your condition, Miss Kim Hyeyoon. How do you feel? Still feeling dizzy?" she asked.
I saw Kiyong stepped back so the doctor could examine me. I shook my head to the doctor to answer her previous question.
"Okay great, let me see," she slowly touched my forehead and told me to lay down to the bed. She moved slightly at my lower lid and checking my temperature with a digital thermometer. She checked the IV drip and nodded. "You're good," she smiled.
I curiously asked the doctor as I didn't know why I fainted earlier. "What happened to me, doc?"
The doctor pulled out the IV tube from my hand and I winced a little. "You were suffered from hypotension, stress, and severe fatigue. Have you overworked yourself recently? Have you had insomnia?"
I recalled how hard I work these past few weeks and I nodded to the doctor. I also had insomnia but recently it got worse. The doctor took my statement into a note and told the nurse to give me her medication recipe.
"It's only an early diagnosis, if you don't feel better after a few days, it's advisable to revisit the doctor, and we shall run further checking procedure," she said while giving the recipe to Kiyong who greatly accepted the piece of paper from her. "You can go home, hope you'll feel better soon," she said again and I thanked her.
After the doctor left with the nurse. I saw Kiyong still stood while leaning his back on the glass window. He stared at me with a look that I couldn't decipher. He sighed before moved and approaching me.
"Do you want to go home now?" he asked and I got up.
"Yes," I told him. He helped me fetch my attire, and I left for the bathroom to change.
* * *
It had been a few days after the last time I saw Rowoon before I lost consciousness. He had never shown up again, and I couldn't help to think about what actually happened at that time. But I couldn't ask Kiyong about this as this might upset him again.
It was Saturday morning and I had promised Kiyong to cook his favorite dish. So, I invited him to come to my apartment and he said, he would be here in a few hours. I was busy preparing the ingredients while watching the TV. It shows a cooking channel and I enjoyed watching it while cooking.
Kiyong liked Korean dishes so much, so I decided to cook him a basic Korean set meal today. I smiled as I stir the bulgogi on the frying pan and suddenly a memory flashed in my head. When I cooked the dish at Rowoon's apartment 3 years ago. That time, we ended up having another hot session on his bed after the stupid encounter with Kiyong and Rowoon was jealous of him saving his phone number on my phone.
At that moment, did Kiyong realize that Rowoon and Seok-woo was the same person? I still couldn't figure out how did Kiyong learn that Rowoon was my ex. And if Kiyong did know who Rowoon was in the first place, why didn't he prevent me to go on a 10 days work trip with that guy?
I still didn't get it.
The beef was done and I turned off the stove. I had done with all the dishes and now was waiting for Kiyong to come. He should be here in a moment.
Just when I was done serving the meal at the dining table, there was a sound of the bell ringing. It must be him.
"Yes," I shouted from inside and checking at the screen. It was him.
I hit the open button and he walked in.
"Hi," he greeted and I smiled.
"What did you bring?" I saw him bringing two paper bags and saw a non-alcoholic red wine and cake.
"I'm throwing a private party," he walked inside and put the paper bags on the kitchen cabinet.
"For what?' I asked, bemused. It wasn't my birthday nor his. Nothing was special today though.
"No special reason, just want to," he said while smiling. Seeing him smiling made me glad and relieved. I was so selfish to him all this time. He was the one who always there for me. If this was the only way for me to repay his kindness, then I would do it.
I flashed a soft smile and invited him to the dining room. He was amazed by all the dishes and I was glad it piqued his interest.
"I'm not sure about the taste though, I think I need more days off, boss, a week is too short," I took leave for a week after was diagnosed with severe fatigue, hypotension, and stress from work by the doctor. Kiyong won't let me back to the office until I was fully recovered. And today was day 3 of my leave.
"How are you feeling today? Have you had a good sleep?" he asked as I gave him a bowl of rice and the soup.
I contemplated the best answer to describe my condition. I felt great though I wasn't fully recovered from all the stress and fatigue. I still had difficulties sleeping early. But I didn't take the sleeping pills that the doctor prescribed. I didn't want to get addicted to sleeping pills, so I decided to have a light yoga exercise before sleep. Light an aromatherapy candle and played a piece of soft music for relaxation.
It gradually helped. Though after my discharged from the hospital, I only had a good sleep once, it was last night.
"Take your time, you can take more leave if you want to, I can help with the office procedure," he offered and I grinned.
"Don't use your authority for a personal affair, Mr. Jang," I told him and he chuckled.
"I'm not, I'm just helping to accommodate my subordinate's leave due to her medical treatment," he reasoned and I shook my head.
"Thank you, but I'm fine," I told him. "Let's see if I could get much better in a few more days. I'll let you know if I needed more day leave," I tried to reassure him, and he finally nodded.
He savored the taste of my dishes and gave me his thumb. "Delicious," he praised and I muttered a low thank you.
After finishing lunch, I cleaned up the dishes and Kiyong started opened the wine and cake he was brought earlier. I was actually full, but the cake looked so tempted, I thought of having a taste of it a little as a dessert. Kiyong smiled upon seeing me contemplating.
He encouraged me to eat more as I got skinnier after not being thoughtful for my own body. He sliced the cake and put it on the plate.
"Where should I throw this?" he showed me the box of red wine and I pointed him to the trash bin right at the corner of the kitchen.
I poured two glasses of wine and brought the dessert to the living room and put down the tray on the coffee table.
"Oppa, what are you doing?" I called him as he was still in the kitchen.
"Babe, what's this?" he shouted from his spot and I turned to see him frozen in front of the trash bin. I frowned. What was he doing there?
I walked towards him and saw him holding a box in his hand. I gasped.
It was the box of the diamond bracelet from Rowoon. I threw it a few days ago but forget to clean the trash today.
"Why did you throw it?" he asked and I had no choice but to explain.
He saw me being hesitant and he frowned. I sighed and started, "it was from him," I told him the truth. He closed the box lid and put down the box on the kitchen cabinet, he was waiting for me to explain further.
"Go on," he said flatly.
I shut my eyes, and slowly explained to him the story behind the bracelet. I just decided to throw it now as I couldn't bear to see it in my drawer. I had a push and pull for days whether to keep that thing or throw it.
But the more I contemplated about the bracelet, the more I couldn't take it anymore. It made me sad and my heartache every time I looked at them. So, I threw it earlier and totally forgot to clean the trash.
Kiyong nodded and then walked slowly to the living room.
"Why don't you give it back to him?" he asked as I followed him to the couch.
"I did, at the time he gave me. But he refused. He let me chose whether to keep it or throw it, so that's that," I explained.
Kiyong didn't say anything further so I stopped talking about it. It was already hard enough for me before I finally threw it into the bin. And now, Kiyong was putting the thing on the kitchen cabinet, I had to throw it again.
"I think you should give it back to him yourself, Hyeyoon," he suggested and my eyes widened upon hearing his suggestion.
What did he mean?
"Why?" I confusedly ask him. I had three days of torment trying really hard to get rid of anything about him that remained in my place, and now he was telling me to meet him in person just to give back his gift. I didn't get what he was thinking.
He stared at me and saw my confusion. He then added, "I heard that he'll be going somewhere," he stated. I got more confused but stayed quiet, waiting for him to finish, "I'm not really sure, but you have to ask him yourself. Don't you want to say something to him or at least, say goodbye?"
I was in shock.
"Going, where?" I choked on my voice. But tried to disguise it.
Kiyong shrugged, "I'm not sure," he said again.
My mind went blank. I stared straight on the TV screen blankly. We were watching a show, even though it looked funny, none of us laughed as we both deep in each other's thoughts.
I saw him got up from his seat and looked down at me. He stroked the crown of my head and smiled. "I should leave, you can rest now. Call me if you need anything," he then kissed my cheek and went to the door.
I slowly followed him behind, and as he went out of the door, I stood there, frozen like a statue, and staring blankly at the door in front of me.
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A/N :
I read all your analyses in the previous comment section. And they were all amazing.
I found a few comments that explained it in every detail, and it amazes me. LOL
But still, no one had guessed it right on how things are going to happen with them next. Hehe
The story already has its initial end from the beginning. No one can change the plot, even I myself can't change it.
No matter how complicated I create the conflict and then resolve it. But at the end of the day, the result remains the same.
Oh, I can't stop smiling when everyone mentioned pregnancy. LOL
*grins widely*
See you again in the next chapters~
P.S: I changed a minor detail about the red wine Kiyong brought, it should be a non alcoholic since Hyeyoon is still in her medical treatment. I totally forgot about that and thanks to Himinem who mentioned it in the comment section. I've fixed it. 😁