Slamming her books shut the minute the bell rang, she hurried out of the History of Magic classroom as she tried to keep up with Draco – who had been sitting near the door for the entire class, having stared absentmindedly in front of him, all the while trying to avoid making eye contact with her – really wanting to get some answers from him.
But as she stepped foot outside of the classroom – having been held up by a group of students chatting in the doorway – she saw his blond locks disappear right around the corner, and she halted her pace with a disappointed sigh. He couldn't keep on doing that for the rest of their relationship. Running away from any kind of problems while ignoring her with all he had in him.
Deciding she'll confront him about that when she actually found a time to be able to talk to him, she instead made her way to the Great Hall for some dinner. Not that she was hungry in any kind of way, but she also knew that she had to eat something. It was already bad enough how much stress and worry she got from Draco's behaviour, so it was important that she'd at least take good care of her body.
Not long after she sat down at the Gryffindor table and had gotten herself a good plate of rice and peas did she get a letter dropped almost in her water by an owl who couldn't be bothered to sit down for a bit and calmly hand it to her, but instead dropped it mid air and flew away again.
Picking it up, she immediately recognized Harry's cursive handwriting, and eagerly opened the envelope, hoping to get some positive response to the letter she had sent him the other day.
Dear Hermione,
Blimey, it hasn't even been a week. I'm on it, though. Next week my Auror training shall begin. As for my own place, no, haven't found anything yet. But I'm looking through Diagon Alley, and think I spotted a nice apartment there for a good price.
I dropped by your parents' house today, and put the necessary enchantments up like requested. So far I didn't find anything unusual, neither any trace of magic, but I'll keep you updated in case anything happens.
Hope everything's going all right at school, and the best wishes from the Weasleys and Ron. Talking about the latter, he wanted to know if you and the ferret already broke up. His words, by the way, not mine.
Love,
Harry
Relieved to read that at least now her parents' were somewhat safer, she decided to tuck the letter away into her bag, not wanting to reply to it just yet. Draco and she weren't stable in their relationship at the moment, and it felt wrong to write that everything was going all right between the two of them. Neither did she really feel like writing back about what bothered her about his behaviour, knowing that they either wouldn't care or that Ron would write a hearty letter back saying that he told her so.
"Hermione," a gentle voice said, and Hermione turned her head to the side as she watched Ginny squeezing her body in between her and a poor fourth year Gryffindor boy who was previously enjoying his dinner. "Everything okay?" The witch said, a sincere worried expression hinted on her face.
About to form a smile on her face, she stopped midway when Ginny shot her a threatening look. "Don't lie to me. I can see it in everything, something's not right." Heaving a sigh, she shot a look around the Great Hall. As far as she could see they all seemed too emerged in their own conversations to bother paying attention to the two girls, but Hermione didn't want to risk the chance of anyone hearing, and so she jerked her head to the entrance. "Come with me."
The two girls walked out of the Great Hall, with Hermione leaving her dinner plate still half untouched, and rounded the corner as they walked out of the castle and into the entrance courtyard.
The light breeze that hit her was a welcoming freshener to all her worried thoughts, and she took a good look into the dark sky before leaning against the castle wall and slowly looking at the red haired girl, who seemed to patiently wait for her to speak.
"I don't know what's going on, Gin." Hermione admitted with a deep sigh, folding her hands together as she took a few deep breaths before continuing. "He's doing it again. Shutting me out, and no matter how hard I try, it's impossible for me to get in."
Releasing a light, humorous chuckle, she shook her head and scoffed. "Sorry, I know you probably don't want to hear a word about Draco." Swallowing, she pushed away the emotions that arose when she said that. It was already difficult enough to date your former enemy, let alone expect any support from your friends who had clearly not forgiven him like she had.
From the corner of her eyes she could see Ginny shaking her head, and she felt the witch's warm hand coming to a rest on her arm. "'Mione, I might not like Malfoy, but you're one of my best friends, and if you have boy drama, trust me, I'm more than willing to listen to it." The two girls smiled at each other, but Hermione's smiled faded slowly as the silence began to settle.
"Look," Ginny spoke eventually, catching her interest as Hermione turned to look at the girl. "I'm not going to pretend I have any experience dating a Malfoy," the witch chuckled lightly, then shook her head, "but I do have some experience with boys. And trust me when I say that sometimes, they can be just as difficult as us girls."
Hermione gave a sad chuckle, a heavy weight still resting on her heart. "You're both stubborn in what you do and feel. Which means I also know that you, Hermione Granger, will also be stubborn enough to find a way to get through to him." Ginny spoke, and her hand slowly glided off Hermione's arm. "I know he seems impossible now, but look at what you two have been through so far. If you ask me, then I'd say it's not as impossible as you might think it is."
"So head up, okay? You can do this." Hermione gave the witch a warm smile, her vision ever so slightly blurry as she swallowed away her sadness, and took a step forward as she took the redhead into her arms, giving her friend a tight squeeze. "Thank you." Hermione whispered softly, sincerely grateful to have Ginny by her side here at school.
With that the two girls broke apart and entered the warm castle again, Ginny taking the route back to the Great Hall, but Hermione chose to go up the many stairs, and call it an early night.
"Draco," Hermione tried, but it was to no avail. Once again he was out of the classroom right as the bell had rung, and there had been no possible way she could have caught up with him. A group of Gryffindors near the Charms classroom entrance snickered at her, and even a few Slytherins joined in on it. "Trouble in paradise already?" One mockingly said, a satisfied smirk tugging on his lips. "What did you expect? I'd run away too if I realized I started befriending a Mudblood." Another one said, trying to provoke a reaction from her.
Hermione, however, did not have the time nor patience for this, and pushed the group aside as she watched Draco's back slowly fading away in the far distance. Huffing in frustration, she was about to call out for him again by mind, but was stopped before she could even begin to form a thought as Professor McGonagall walked up to her.
"Miss Granger," the woman said. It was clear that the headmistress hadn't been looking for her, but was all the while pleased to have crossed paths with her. "Good afternoon, professor." Hermione halfheartedly spoke, her eyes still roaming in the distance in the hope to find which direction Draco left in. "It's come to my attention that Mr Weasley and Mr Potter haven't come back to Hogwarts this year." The older woman continued, and Hermione focused her attention on her professor as it became clear to see that professor McGonagall was curiously looking at the spot Hermione had just been staring at.
"No, they haven't. Harry, well, this place used to be like home for him, as you know," the professor nodded in agreement, "but now, with everything that has happened.. he didn't feel comfortable returning to it." A sad nod was given by the older woman, but understanding settled on her face. "And Mr Weasley?"
"Ron's helping George. He really needed help in their joke shop after, well.. you know.." Hermione fell quiet, not being able to say the rest aloud. It still hit her like a rock that Fred had died, and so she quickly tried to push those thoughts away. "I see. That's very noble of him." Professor McGonagall said sincerely, nodding as to confirm what she said.
"Well, give them my best when you speak with them again, will you?" Hermione nodded with a smile, saying that she would, and hurriedly tried to cut the conversation off. It's not that she minded talking to her professor, because she didn't, but she really wanted to find Draco and get him to talk to her.
Yet, professor McGonagall didn't seem to be done with her. "And you? Is everything going all right?" Hermione gave the old witch a polite smile, nodding in an attempt to make it look more convincing. "Yes. It's a bit strange to be back, I have to admit, but it feels good at the same time." Even though professor McGonagall smiled at her words, Hermione couldn't help but notice how her eyes squinted together ever so slightly in suspicion, and she knew that the headmistress was biting back another question.
"That's good to hear. I'll let you off to your class now, then." Hermione nodded and said her goodbye to her professor, not bothering to tell her that she actually had a free period. And so she made her way down the corridors, knowing it was going to be a futile attempt if she would try to look for Draco now, and opted for entering the familiar halls of the library instead, where she could finish some of her school work, and try to push thoughts of him aside.
Hours had dragged on, and those hours had turned into days as the weekend had dragged on excruciatingly slow. All weekend there had been no single sight of her boyfriend, who she was currently beyond mad at for ignoring her so bad, and all throughout Monday she had seething in every class she shared with Draco as he seemed to finally follow the classes again, but didn't offer her one glance or even an apology for that matter.
And so when dinner had come to an end, she tried following him for the last time, completely done with being the only one trying to save their relationship. If this was how it was going to be like always, then she didn't want it.
It seemed like he had no clue that she was right on his heels, as he strutted off in the distance, rounding corners and nearly making her lose sight of him constantly, but at last she managed to successfully follow him as she saw him entering Myrtle's bathroom. This struck her as odd, but without a single sign of hesitance she followed inside not long after, surprised to see him hunched over the sink like she saw him do two years ago before Harry had come in.
Upon her arrival his head snapped up, and Hermione got angrier by the second as he still wasn't looking at her. "Draco." The name rolled off her tongue harshly, but even then he still wouldn't look at her. "Look at me!" Hermione shouted, her breathing growing heavier as her heart started to pump the blood through her veins in a more rapid speed, feeling the adrenaline of her anger kick in.
At last his eyes snapped to hers, and his piercing grey eyes held an emotionless expression as he stood there in silence, a glossy look over them. What's going on? Hermione didn't trust her voice to speak. She knew that anger would be laced with it, and she needed him to explain.
Draco released a humorous laugh, then stood up straight, yet remained with his back to her. "Why are you even here?" Hermione cocked an eyebrow at that, a frown settling deep into her forehead upon hearing those words. "Excuse me?"
"I push you away, ignore you for days, and you still keep on trying. Why?" Hermione scoffed, unable to believe that he would ask that. "Oh, I don't know, Malfoy, maybe because we're together now? Or have you forgotten that momentarily?" She sneered, and left him with no time to answer as she went on. "You know why I'm here? It's because I bloody care about you! When are you going to get that through that thick head of yours?" She spoke bitterly, a glare directed his way as she looked at him.
"You shouldn't." He sneered back, and this time Hermione released a humorous laugh. "Why? Because you don't? I mean, that's why you've been shutting me out, hasn't it been? Because you can't give a single care about whether or not I'm hurting whenever you ignore me calling your name, when I try so bloody hard to get through to you, only for you to push me away."
"It's not like that." Draco argued, but Hermione scoffed in return. "Oh, really? Then what is it like?" She watched as his fingers curled tightly around the rim of the sink, his knuckles turning white as his chest began to rag. "I can't be the good guy, Hermione!" His voice was tense as he raised it, the grip on the sink not loosening.
"You already are!" Hermione argued, but he shook his head in disagreement. "Don't you understand? I can't be the guy you want me to be. I'm not someone who can care about someone else, and give them the love they deserve."
Hermione opened her mouth to argue again, but he shut her up by loosening his grip on the sink and wheeling around. "Don't you bloody dare say I can, because this week I've been proving to you that I can't!"
"I'm a cold hearted murderer, Hermione! I may not have killed Dumbledore, but I've definitely tried my best. Hell, it's because of my help that they've been able to enter the castle, and endanger not only you, but so many others. And in the end, Dumbledore still died. So don't even dare to tell me that I'm not a murderer, because I may have not been the one casting the spell, but I am definitely the one who made it possible." Draco shouted, then ended with ragged breathing as his chest fell heavily up and down.
"I don't believe you." Hermione eventually softly whispered. "What?" He asked incredulously, but Hermione shook her head. "I don't care what you say, I know you're not a murderer." Draco sneered at her words, his glare stone cold as he scoffed. "Are you seriously that stupid, Granger? Have you even been listening to what I just said?"
Biting her lip, she crossed her arms as she furrowed her eyebrows together. "Of course I've been listening! Merlin, I've been living through it with you the past two years! Trust me, I know what you're saying, because I've been there with you." Taking a quick deep breath, she continued with her ranting. "And it's because of that exact reason that I know you're not a bloody killer, Draco!"
"We both know that you had no choice. You've never had a choice in what you have done. So don't try to tell me you're a bad person. That you're evil just because you've been forced into actions that no child of our age should have to deal with!" Hermione shouted, but it was no longer because she was angry at him. It's because she wanted him to know that his past does not define him, even though he might think it does.
"I watched you bleed, because of the person who I am! Because of the family I grew up in!" Draco shouted back, a mixture of anger and hopelessness flashing over his face. "Yes, exactly. Because of your family, not because of you! You're nothing like them, and that's what makes you a better person!"
Draco took long strides across the room, ending up in front of her face in a matter of seconds as he grabbed her wrist fiercely, rolling up her sleeve without giving her a chance to protest. "How is this right?" He yelled, a surge of pain clinging to his words. Yanking her arm free from his grip, she rolled her sleeve back down. "This wasn't your fault!" She yelled in return, wanting him to understand that the word 'Mudblood' that was engraved on her arm was not his doing.
"I could have prevented it!" His voice broke as he shouted that, and Hermione felt difficulty speaking as she understood now why he had been avoiding her. He was ashamed of everything. Of everything he had done, and everything he hadn't done. "No, you couldn't. Not without messing everything up!" Taking a good few deep breaths in, she willed herself to calm her raging heart down as she needed him to understand. "Everything that has happened.. no one could have done it any differently."
Holding up her hand to make him shut up and let her finish, she scanned his eyes as she now saw no sign of anger anymore, but only of pain and sadness as he stared back at her. "It's not who you were two years ago, Draco." Hermione spoke softly, tears clouding her vision as they began to form in her eyes. "It's who you're becoming right now. And let me just tell you how proud I am of you for rising above all that's happened to you. To fight against the morals and beliefs you have grown up with, and are becoming a better man because of that."
Taking his hand, she squeezed it as it limply rested in hers. "I love you, Draco. And I forgive you for all that you've done, not because you deserve my forgiveness to justify your actions, but because you deserve it to find peace in your actions instead." Tears were now freely rolling down his cheeks, and his Adam's apple was bobbing slowly up and down as he swallowed, lips slightly parted as it was clear he didn't know what to say in return.
Feeling her own tears run down her cheeks, she offered him the smallest of a smile as she looked at him. "I want to make this relationship work. I really do. But I can't do this without you." Her voice was hoarse as it came out as nothing more than a whisper, but he seemed to have heard her all the same. "Either you're with me, or you're not. I refuse to be pushed aside without an explanation for days, just because you're struggling."
"I mean, that's what a relationship is for, right? So we can be there for each other when it's rough. And I want to be there for you, but I can't do that when you're not letting me." With one last rub of her thumb over the back of his hand she let his hand go, and took a small step back. "Just.. let me know where you stand, okay? Because I'm done being the only one fighting for this relationship." And with that she turned on her heel, her heart shattering into a million pieces as she walked away from the broken boy she was leaving behind, wanting nothing more than to take him into her arms and tell him it'll be all right, but she couldn't. First, she needed to know how much he really cared about her. And if their relationship would actually still exist in the end.