excuse all mistakes
not proofread
Devotion
*everybody doesn't like reading chapters like this, so feel free to skip it if you like. if you skip it but you wanna know what happened you can just pm me.*
D'Nyah Tashayla Mansion
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Pain and Guilt.
That was all I felt as Xay, Dan, Tejay, and two other men walked infront of us with Taison's casket and Dead and Gone by T.I and Justin Timberlake played in the background.
I swear I never thought that it would end up like this. My brother, my other half, gone.
I know we not blood, but it feels like I've known him for forever. We made so many memories together, but that was all cut short, too soon.
If I knew I would have to feel this pain again, I would've prepared myself sooner. For the last past week everybody's been sad and mourning. This is the first time I came out my room since we got the news.
Like, it's all my fault really, if I wouldn't have moved to Athens from the get go then Tai would still be here, Xay wouldn't have a pending court case, Etcetera.
I'm always the cause of the people I love's deaths. I was the cause of my dad's, now Tai's.
I looked to my right and saw Raivyn being comforted by Lay, Ashante and Sai'Je attempting to comfort each other, and I even saw Nyia from a distance.
Everybody sat down as we waited for my mom to get herself together and walk up to the podium. It was a whole lotta people here to celebrate Tai's life. He was a hood favorite.
"Ahem, thank you all for coming out today to celebrate the life of Taison Latrell Gilbert. I've only known him for 2 years but he was like a son to me. And to know that he lost his life at a very young age hurts my heart so much. I know he wouldn't want any of us to cry or grieve so i'm trying to hold it together for him. A long time ago, he told me that if he died before me, he didn't want a professional funeral, he wanted everyone to take turns telling their favorite moments with him. So instead of doing it the traditional way, we're gonna do it his way. We'll start with the first row and continue from there."
I looked around and noticed that Sai'Je got up and went to the podium along with Ashante.
"You aight ?" Xay mumbled to me as I grabbed his hand. I shook my head no repeatedly and tears streamed down my face as i rocked from side to side.
"Hey y'all, i'm Sai'Je. Me and Tai go back to elementary days. Like I remember when we used to hate each other, but eventually we got close. He was a very great friend and human all around. If anyone knew Tai, then you should know that whenever you needed help or advice, he would always be there. He would never judge you. He'd always comfort you and tell you that everything would be ohk. He'd never judge you. To sum this up..." She turned towards his casket and touched it. "Taison we love you." her voice cracked.
Ashante and Raivyn went, then it was my turn.
I stood up and looked at the collage that included pictures of me, Tai, Sai'je, Ashante, Raivyn, and Xay. I looked at the video slide of all of us having fun with each other then I started crying again.
Xay walked up to me and pull me to the side and then hugged me as I cried.
"Xay I can't do it." I said a little bit above a whisper.
"Yes you can. You think Tai would want you to be right here crying ?" He looked at me and wiped my tears.
"No."
"Okay then, don't. Yeah this shit sad but don't sit here and cry. You know he wouldn't want you to so go up there and talk about the memories that y'all made." He kissed me then walked with me up to the podium.
*play the song*
"Sorry for what just happened. It's just hard when you loose someone you never imagined loosing you know ? Me and Taison have only known each for two years but everybody swore we knew each other for a lifetime. Excuse my language in advance. He was like a brother to me, always had my back when I was being played or fucked over. Like if ain have nobody in my corner, Taison was most definitely always there. I remember when we went to walmart and I had left my wallet in the car and he was like "It's okay, just grab and go duhhh." I said mimicking his voice as everybody else laughed.
"It was another time when the whole gang went to the movies. We was watching some movie called the Terrifier. Taison was scared off his asss. He was screaming everytime the clown came on the screen. We ended up getting kicked out but we finished the movie at home. When I was going through depression, everybody was there for me but Taison was most definitely there for me. He was basically my brother and it hurts to see him laying in a casket instead of making me laugh when i'm down like he always does. But, hopefully it will get better." I walked over to his casket, took my jacket off, and put it over his casket. "I love you bro, always and forever."
I walked backed to my seat and tears started falling again. I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Sai'Je. I laid my head on her shoulder and silently cried.
After everyone had spoken, it was time to lower him into the ground. I watched as they lowered his casket into the ground and everyone threw their roses in.
I saw Nyia out the corner of my eye and I went over to her.
"Hey Nyah."
"Hey Nyia." we said at the same time then laughed.
"How you been ?" She asked me.
"Not good, but it'll get better. I know it will. What about you ?"
"It's hard, it really is. But overtime I know it'll get better. It might take time but I know it will." She grabbed a little tissue out of her purse and slightly pulled her shades up and wiped her eyes.
"You right. Well, if you need anything then you got my number. I'll see you around."
I was about to walk to the car but Xay stopped me.
"Whats that ?" I noticed the letter in his hand.
"The funeral home people found it in his hospital room."
We gathered everybody around and sat in a little circle on the ground. "Who gon read it ?"
"I'll do it." Ashante grabbed the note and started reading.
"Letter to the gang..."
Yoo,
Y'all gon find this when the time is right, if it isn't found, then time wasn't write. Lately i've been feeling like my time on this earth is bound to be cut short. Maybe it's just me but I feel it in my soul that some shit finna happened that's gon fuck the gang up but bring everybody back together at the same time. But if my gut was right and these are my lasts moments, I just want y'all to know that I love y'all with errthang in me forreal.
D'Nyah, sisssss. If or when I die, I know it might hit you the hardest. Even tho I knew everybody before I knew you, we got that bond that can't nobody fuck up. Don't dwell on my death for too long cus the grind don't stop for nobody. If you don't remember nothing I told you, remember this: When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on, you got this. Even when it doesn't feel like it, i'm always watching. Call me old saint nick widda big dick !! Oh yeah and stop giving yo mama a hard time about that Mr Clean looking ass nigga. Errbody deserves to be happy and I guess that's what he makes her. Don't freak out when you find out that she pregnant, i'mma be hoping for a boy.
Ashante, you baldheaded motherfucker. You made me happy in so many ways, you was always there for a nigga when I was at my lowest and imma forever love you fa that. I kmow the whole relationship shit din work
for vicious reasons or however that damn word is spelled. But i'm sorry. I'm sorry for playing round witcho feelings and wasting time. Promise me that you gon find happiness with somebody, make sure he treat you right too cus I'd hate to hunt a nigga's dreams.
Sai'Je, bitchass Sai'Je. You know how me and you rocking. You might've fuckedap once but you know how we coming boutchu still. Don't do no more fuck shit, even though I know you won't. But listen though, watch over D'Nyah cus she gon take this shit the hardest, I know it. Get out the hood. When you graduate, go to college, make all of us proud. Hell all of y'all. I love you jhit.
Raivyn !! I know yo bitchass already crying. Wipe yo tears. I know you be scissoring, insert moon emoji. Don't be ashamed and don't be scared to tell the gang. It's aight if you wanna lil clittory. You know they gon support you. Make sure you find a bitch that's for you and you only. Don't be out here dogging these hoes and shit, you know imma be watching. Hadda keep this shit short cus you prolly hadda heart attack by now.
Bro, brooooo. You know I can't even be onnat sap ass shit witchu. I'm glad you din miss this. D'Nyah know what i'm tammat. Don't fuck up with her nomo folks. Boffa y'all know y'all can't damn function without eachudda ion know why y'all keep doing shit. Oh yeah and get out this street shit, asap no ferg. That shit only getchu two places, dead or in jail. Think about yo future kids, insert moon emoji. Think about D'Nyah. I know youn like being bossed around and shit but fast money ain always the answer. Go open up that bar you always wanted to open. Make it out the hood. Take Xai Xai witchu. Make Xa'Riel proud.
To all y'all, don't put me on no fucking tshirt I swear I will make y'all lives a living hell.
Don't photoshop me in no fucking clouds either.
Oh yeah don't make me in no fucking bookmark either. That's just- no.
Don't visit my grave everyday cus that's just gon be depressing, visit every other day.
I want all of y'all to make me proud. Somebody needa have the First gang baby, insert moon emoji. Get some good jobs and get the fuck out the damn hood ! This ain't goodbye, just a lil see you later. I love all y'all.
Oh yeah, if y'all ever see Nyia again, tell her that i'll always love her.
Sincerely,
Taison bitch !
Aka big daddy Tai.
Aka big dick Tai.
I'm out.
Once she got done reading it, everybody was crying.
All we had was each other, we had to be there for each other during a time like this. We was gon make Tai proud.
"I love y'all so much." Sai'Je choked out as we all hugged each other.
"We love you too."
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if only y'all could understand how hard i'm crying.
this book ending in like the next 10-15 chapters ionk yet.
ts was soooo depressing 💔.
anyways
10+ votes
#LongLiveTai 🥺💔