When I woke up, I didn't move. I didn't want to do that nor open my eyes. But I felt the need to look around anyway. I felt weird. Back to square one. Or two. I wish I had more will power to prevent last night. I didn't even feel sick about the gruesome acts she carried out through my... human vessel. Because this doesn't feel like my body anymore.
My senses kicked in and what was the first thing I smelled? Blood of course. As much as I'd like to stay here and wallow in pity, I wanted to rid myself of this sticky substance that once belonged to someone else.
Slowly sitting up, I became aware once again of the changes of last light. Conveniently, I was right in front of the full-length mirror in this closet. I huffed at the fact that I wasn't even clothed as my eyes trailed down my back. My back wasn't even as red as I thought it would've been. I could already see the addition in my peripheral but I didn't want to acknowledge it so I grabbed the nearest long robe and scampered out the closet and into the bathroom.
I immediately stripped and got under the shower. I just stood there with my eyes closed, trying my best to ignore the moving behind me that would occasionally brush either of my legs.
I put my hands through my hair before stooping down. Then I flat out just sat on the ground. I brought my legs up to my chest and found myself breathing heavily. I didn't stop the tears from spilling again. I'm too tired of suppressing sadness. I sobbed quietly and put my head on my knees, slightly rocking myself. I know it's not a good time to bathe with cold water, given the freezing weather but I could care less if I ended up with hypothermia. It just adds to the list of things-
"Z? You in there?" Storm is still here??? HOW???
"Yeah, just showering off." I tried to sound casual but it's not hard to miss that slight croak in my voice.
"That's a relief. We couldn't find you last night." her voice lowered a bit. "Are you alright? You sound like you're crying."
"Yeah, I just feel overwhelmed."
Please stop asking me stuff before I spill info and she wakes up.
"Oh, well. We're having brunch right now. I'll set out a plate-"
"I can't eat." I clasped my hand over my mouth immediately.
"Daya, did something happen?"
I stood up and slowly turned off the showerhead.
"I'm... nauseous. Since yesterday."
"Oh, then I'll brew some tea for that. I have just the right herb mixture. But just so that I haven't read anything wrong, I'm gonna ask." oh fuck. "You.. didn't hurt anyone... right?"
I wrapped myself in my towel, contemplating everything. I was about to respond, but she beat me to it.
"You slipped, didn't you?" It was a mere whisper. I should've felt guilt.
I carefully walked to the door, putting my back on it.
"She made me... She always makes me." I muttered in a tone that sounds like sorrow. But also desire?
I felt the slight fear that radiated off her as she stepped away from the door. She's probably not gonna talk to me for a while. I don't blame her either. I wouldn't talk to me.
Keeping my eyes trailed on the floor, I walked towards the sink and mirror.
All I saw was a being that lacked emotion to an extent when I looked in the mirror. Sure, I didn't look like I'm wasting away due to last night, but in a few days, I'm sure I will. Simply put, that woman of a demon will materialize sometime soon and I'll... I won't be physically capable of being here. That much I know. I always thought she'd use my body once she can get my spirit out of this vessel, but I guess not.
I got closer to the mirror and stared at my own eyes. I blinked twice, trying to verify what I was seeing.
"Gotta find those contact lenses now, just fucking great," I muttered to myself before trotting out the bathroom.
I walked right back into the closet and got a change of clothes. One long-sleeved blouse for this fifty degrees Fahrenheit weather and some kinda wool pants. I didn't even know I had that.
To a degree, it was difficult to get on my underwear completely. I felt like an animal with this thing.
"Ok, let's see if you're at least retractable." I closed my eyes and leaned on the nearest stable thing. I visualized myself having it retract, then physically tried. "Ah! Oh, Fuck me!"
I held my back. I took in some deep breaths to keep stable then tried another tactic.
I tested how far up it could bend without hurting. Down at first, then up in the direction of my spine. I lifted my brows and a slight laugh escaped. Alright, that's successful, but can I.., merge it, basically?
I put my mind to use again by visualizing it then used some energy in carrying out the task physically. I'm prepared to use 15 minutes if that's what it takes. As long as no-one notices this. tail... then I'm gonna be fine for the time being.
"Daya? Where are you?"
I've never lost balance so quickly, and I was WELL BALANCED, to begin with.
I 'slid 'it'' into my pants, down my left leg.
"I can hear you in there, what's the matter?" She knocked then tried the knob. "What happened last night??"
The Demon happened.
"I felt nauseous, came to change clothes, and fell asleep-"
"Oh, I thought you were alright with nausea. something felt off, I just couldn't pinpoint why for some reason." She nearly sounded like she was blaming herself.
"Don't.. don't even try to blame yourself, It's just my fucked up system." Physically and mentally.
I quickly searched for my red trench coat and pulled it on. I took a peek in the mirror to make sure NOTHING was protruding.
"Well, it's been about twelve hours," I opened the door. " I've missed you."
I squinted my eyes as I gave her a quick hug. I hadn't found my contacts yet and my eyes would just be a dead giveaway.
I 'touched' my nose bridge as I pulled away and moved towards my bureau.
The first drawer didn't contain it, either the second. Who the fuck moved it?
"You good?"
I nodded before I slowly crouched down to check the last drawers. Shouldn't have been surprised when I bent my back more and felt pain.
I most likely rearranged everything from its previous setting but it was worth it when I reached the back of the drawer to find the desired item.
Why did I do that to myself?
Exhaling to release some built-up anxiety, I stood up and slowly met Bella's eyes via the mirror.
"Well... that wasn't frantic... or secretive at all." She furrowed her brows then came closer. "Hold up,"
I kept a straight face as she surveyed my eyes. Then the rest of my face. You wouldn't think there could be so many emotions displayed in four seconds but she... she just.
"Black. AND green? What the fuck has been happening??"
I couldn't decide if I wanted to shrug and lie or just give up the act. I've been lying a lot; she's probably figuring a lot of them out. Yeah, I better not piss her off and just be honest if she asks. She's not the one that practically cheats every time she goes out.
"Zendaya!"
"I've been stressed! okay!"I threw my hands up, "Things have been happening, I've been trying to get my shit together but I can't! I just keep changing! It's annoying to me too!"
She kept silent after my outburst, staying in one spot for a bit.
"But, why didn't you-"
"Does it fucking look like I can tell you!!? Haven't you had to figure it out?!"
I clasped my hands over my ears then tightly closed my eyes. How can I make a decision about what to do without making it seem like they're the ones pushing me to do it?
I pulled myself together then began to put the contacts in. I tuned her out so I wouldn't know if she was telling me anything at that moment.
All I knew, was that I had to get myself out of that room to avoid her and the questions.
The living room wasn't suitable. Half of them from the night before was sitting there chatting. Pretty sure Barbie was calling me over to tell me that I had a few more gifts but I just couldn't care less about that.
The kitchen was occupied by Storm silently eating and scrolling through Twitter and Dani preparing desserts. why so early? I don't wanna ask. So instead of going into the backyard and chill there like a regular person, I decided to just sit by the pool. Honestly, I had enough chaotic energy to just take a dip in there, the wrath of ANY of these people however made me reevaluate it.
"Zendaya."
Nope, nuh-uh. not you sir.
I got up and trotted up the stairs to the roof. He called my name every so often, trying to get me to stop while trailed behind me. I'm sure he was no more than 3 steps behind. I hadn't even made it to the middle of the roof when he grabbed my hips. I don't know if it was my level of sensitivity, the force from him, or both... but I damn near dropped holding in my scream.
I stumbled a bit but this fuckin anchor steadied me. and the way it went silent I knew he would DEFINITELY bring up what he just felt.
I pulled away and continued walking right, till I reached the guard rail.
Just breathe in, and breathe out I gripped onto the rails and squeezed my eyes close.
"You know we definitely need to talk. Storm told me-"
"...You're the one that's been sending Storm??? ARE YOU SICK!? THAT IS A CHILD!" I turned around and he actually looked stunned.
"She volunteered-"
"And you APPROVED?!"
"You know you've had a lot to say for someone that killed a pregnant lady."
I froze and looked straight at him.
"You can't tell me you didn't remember last night bec-"
"ShutTHEFUCKUP!"
At the moment you could feel the immediate surroundings freeze. Even the trees stopped moving. I wrapped a hand around my neck and the other across my torso. I knew that happened. And I wish it didn't.
"Zendaya."
I painfully crouched down and brought my hands up to my head.
"Why can't you just kill me."
He walked closer.
"Because you can control-"
"HOw fucking dumb are you!? how DUMB are you ALL?! I CAN'T CONTROL HER! SHE WANTS ME DEAD!" I sat now to rock back and forth. "I'm LOSING it. I'm seeing them all! I could barely sleep. All of their souls try to grab at me in my sleep. I'm gonna DIE soon and it's gonna be due to her. I can't do anything. I'm so fucking worthless. Useless."
He came closer and tried to hug me but I pushed him away.
"Did you feel it?" I slowly looked up at him. "Do you see what she did to me?! IN ONE NIGHT!" I could barely contain my emotions. I knew for SURE I was reaching the end of 'things'. I scoffed at him.
"I know you liked me." He furrowed his brows.
"But It's a waste of time." I shook my head at the next statement I wouldn't filter. "Bella's wasting her time. Everyone. Is wasting their time with me."
"Ze-"
"I'm probably gonna have ROOOWWSS of sharp teeth by the morning. She's morphing me into an animal. A lot of effort getting put into a body she won't use." I muttered as he kept his eyes locked into mine. "I don't know what kinda demon you got... but unlike yours, mine is a merciless Bitch. So don't go trying to give me hope."
I believe my original personality is probably almost all gone. Judging from the looks he's giving me. And my inability to break the current stare.
"I'd show you my backside but I believe you've got some kind of x-ray vision to see it yourself."
He extended his arm and widened his eyes as he saw it. Next, he moved his hand over to my chest. He pressed against it and stayed there for a very long time. Then put a hand against his own.
"Your heart is barely beating 4 times for the minute."
His concern really peered through this time.
"Well Shawn, that's what happens when you're already dead inside." I finally broke my stare off him and redirected it to the stairway.
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