Designed for Submission

Chapter 4

"Hey, sweet thing!"

"Get off me, Jay," I say, pushing him off me.

"What?" he sounds mad. Fuck him. I'm the one that's mad. "You can't talk to me that way. I swear I'll pull you over my knee right now, right here. You better - "

"How could you? You're the slut, not me! I can't believe you!" I yell in his face and smirk at the stupid expression he gives me. He's rendered speechless.

"What in the hell are you talking about?"

"I saw you with Heather," I murmur.

He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. What is he thinking right now? He pinches the bridge of his nose and scrunches up his eyes. When they open the look he gives me is discomforting.

"So what?" 

"Fuck you! You're a dick. I don't want to do this anymore."

He chuckles at me. What? "Well this saves me the trouble. Slut, I was going to break up with you anyway." It feels like he punched me in the stomach. I don't know how I'm supposed to respond and instead slaps him across the face and walk away.

"You're going to regret that!" he calls after me. Whatever.

-~-

The next day I walk to my first class and notice people were acting different. They give me sideways glances and whisper among themselves. Even the teachers look at me strangely - it's more a look of pity than anything else. I'm not a wounded animal. My relationship with Jay ended again, sure, but that's fine. I'll get over it like I did last time.

"Slut." What? A girl that I just passed looks at me in disgust. Shit! I remember Jay's words now. He didn't tell the whole school did he? Holy, shit!

The day finally ends, but not before I get more sideways glances, scoffs and inappropriate touches. The people I go to school with, who barely gave me the time of day now think I'm some whore. It's sad to think that people are so easy to judge. How would they like it if some rumour about them suddenly emerged out of nowhere?

I make it home and immediately burst into tears. I'm not sad about what people have said or believed, but the stress of not reacting to the ridicule needed to be released. It would either come out in anger or tears, and it unfortunately happened to be the latter. All the pent up emotions come rushing to the surface as a river of tears flow from my eyes. I grab a tub of ice cream and go to watch some stupid, petty reality shows. After three hours of mind-numbing television, I decide to go to my room and finish whatever homework I did before crawling into bed and disappearing beneath the covers.

The next couple days I go through the motions. Wake up, go to school, face mean people, eat lunch alone in a teacher's room, finish classes, go home, work then sleep. I hardly talk to anybody, since even my closest friends won't say a word to me. I've lost weight, which is ironic because I feel like all I'm ever doing is eating. Worst of all, my grades slip. The phone constantly rings - either my parents, or the school are calling me, but I don't want to talk about it.

The weekend finally arrives, and I'm more exhausted than I have been in years. My plans consist of bubble baths, ice cream and movies. Nothing but relaxation and hiding from the world. It's short lived, however, because I still have to go to school on Monday morning. Ugh! Monday mornings are the worst, but it's way more horrible for me.  I just need to wait until this all blows over. That could take a really long time. God! I put my head in my hands for a minute before getting up and riding my bike to school.

-~-

I hurry to my locker to get my books. If I avoid people, then I don't have to face them. Unexpectedly, I'm knocked to the floor.