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On the plane back to London I feel lonely, but who wouldn’t? I try to imagine being without all the fame and I smile, because riding in a plane alone isn’t that much fun. I bet a mushroom has more fun than me.

I put my headphones in and listen to Brother with Gerard Way, I really love that song.

“We will be landing in about 2 hours Mr. Styles” I look at the young woman who is trying to make her boobs look bigger in that small uniform, I would probably fuck her if I wasn’t raised better. I have heard when a lot of the guys in the dressing room talks about how they took their flight attended on the plane, like why would you even do that?

I thank her and she leaves, I keep listening to Gerard Way’s voice, it’s something so special with his voice that makes me want to break down and cry, like it’s so freaking perfect and I wish that he would sing for me every day so I could fall asleep to his voice!

I must have fallen asleep because I wake up in London, I look out and I can feel how a smile is forming on my face, its snow outside, I haven’t seen snow in so long!

I walk out from the plane with my pink suitcase because why the hell not, there is absolutely nothing wrong with pink, everyone loves pink…. Okay maybe not everyone but a lot of people do.

When I come out in the cold air I am met with a lot of cameras and I try not to let out a sigh, I just wish that I could come to London and not have a camera up in my face, like what the fuck give me some fucking space, I just had a long ass trip!

Of course no one gives a shit about that, because I am famous and we aren’t humans anymore, or at least that is what the media thinks, but that is because they don’t fucking understand how it is to have a big ass camera in their fucking face!

I am not trying to be rude or anything but bitch please stop fucking being in my fucking face because I am tired and really don’t want

When I finally make it to the black car I am so close to explode because of how much I hate this, like come on give me a second to breathe.

“Mr. Styles I know that you just got home but Tristan wants you to come to his office” Can’t I have a fucking break without that fucker in my fucking life?!

I don’t answer I just sit in the car and watching how we drive the opposed direction from my house, I hate not being able to go in to my house and just do nothing for a day, because I never have a freaking day off, they always want me to do something! All I am asking for is a little pause a break! I need to stop being pushed around like I am a toy that everyone wants to play with, I am a freaking person and I don’t want to be Tristan’s personal toy…

That sounded wrong, and I am surprise that I aren’t his sex toy too, because damn he isn’t the nicest dude in the world and he probably would use everyone to make his horny self go away.

The car stops outside of the office and I step out from it, the snow under my feet is giving a way that sound that I love, you know the sound when you step on snow and it like presses together. I love that sound.

I look at the big doors and I sigh, I use to love this place because it always mean that I have a job, but now lately it only reminds me that I don’t have a personal life and that whatever they tell me in there is what I have to do. I don’t even have a personal thought anymore. I need to always think like they want me, if I am going to an interview they will tell me what I am going to say.


I sit on Niall’s bed while I edit my video, Niall is on his computer and editing his video. I smile and laughs a little when I see Niall put chocolate pudding in his hair, I have no idea where those ideas comes from but my fans have the freaking best dares.

“Louis what the hell are you doing with your face here?” Niall laughs and I look at his screen. I am doing the weirdest face ever! What the hell am I doing?! I laugh together with Niall and he is trying to copy my face. It doesn’t turn out great because he is laughing all the time so it doesn’t look like my face at all.

“I think I am done, want to look?” He says after a while of more editing, I smile and nods. Niall is amazing at editing and I am always so amazed over what he have made because it looks cool but still normal.

I watch how we make tell each other pickup lines. Niall looks like he is going to die when he is telling me the on about the Flintstone.

I don’t know who came up with the idea of telling each other bad pickup lines it only happen. But the video did turn out pretty great, because those pickup lines is pretty bad.

“Do you really need to leave tomorrow Louis?” Niall asks me and I smile a little, I hate leaving Niall because we never really know when we will see each other again. It’s really hard being away from you best friend for so long.

“Yeah I am sorry Niall” I say and give him a hug from the side, I love hanging out with Niall and I really hate going home because it’s no one who I give a fuck about home. I would stay longer but I have a meet up in London in 2 days so I can’t stay longer. 


Holly shit balls!!! I am going to see Gerard Fucking Way in a few days!!! In a few days I mean like 3 days!!! I am going to see him holly damn!!

I am so fucking happy!!!

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