Im sorry

80 2 4

// Mildly NSFW//

Pain shot through Clays chest like something had snapped. The dial tone of an ended call ring through his ears he stare at the screen in front of him.
■ The Stream you were watching has ended■
He swallow hard feeling his heart beat obnoxiously pounding in his head, chest rising and falling heavily.
He shake his head placed his phone down and people smacks himself in the face on both now pale freckled cheeks *smack*
he stare down at his desk mind racing with intrusive thoughts of the previous scene that had played out before burrying his face in his hands as his face brightened about five shades of pink reaching up to his ears, letting out a soft regretful whine "oh God Clay what the hell were you doing" he muffledly whines at himself through his hands.
"Ahhhgg" he drag his hands down his face frustrated before spinning up out of his chair and grabbing his towel from over the door "i need a shower"
The dirty blonde haired man made his way down the hall towards the bathroom, he shut the door and lean against it for a moment, before beginning to strip removing his shirt that was hiding a tonned muscular chest that he honestly wasn't that confident with, he never really thought of himself as attractive although people often told him he was he didn't care it was just a body. He remove his pants and slowly looks down to his tight black boxers and with no surprise as he expected they were....let's just say tighter than usual; he let out an uncomfortable sigh 'what the hell Clay that's your best friend you were thinking about' he thought to himself unimpressed with his bodies reactions but knowing daym well of his subconscious desires for George.
He remove them and climb into the shower ajusting the water and putting his shower play list on his phone on shuffle; the water ran through his browny/blonde locks and down his tonned body. The water was warm and comfortable letting his mind wonder, he thought of the way he could practically feel George beneath his finger tips and he traced his handsome soft body with his eyes; warmth spread through his chest smiling as he rembeered George's cute expressions. 'Not enough' his eyes shoot open turning around and quickly  flicking the water all the way to cold with a slight scream jumping out from under the water "SHIT THATS COLD AHHG* he shiver before stepping back under the spout letting the icy water run over his body wakeing him up  and claiming his heated thoughts, he focus on the music playing and let himself refresh.

20 minutes or so pass as he walks back into his room wearing a baggy grey shirt and sweatpants a few shades lighter during his hair softly with a towel, humming along the the music filling the room from his phone. Patches poked her head up from the bed with a "purrmew" kinda chirp making Clay giggle softly and sit down neck to her stroking her head softly. "Hey baby girl" his voice was soft and smooth sounding rather tired with was strange after a cold shower, its like his soul felt drained? and kind of....empty.
He climb into bed as the little totry cat decided his chest was the perfect place to park her flufdy toosh, looking down into his eyes purring before softly drifting back to sleep "dork" he said softly to the cat stroking her head as she nodded off.
Dream reached over and picked up his phone turning the music off, it was to early to sleep but he was quite comfy and very tired, his phone vibrates hope shoots down his arm with the vibration wishing so bad to talk to George, however disappointment soon followed as it was just a discord notification of the group discussing plot points for the SMP. He sighs softly and opens the message app tapping on
He watch as the cursor yet again mockingly blinks at him. A wash of sadness floods the man's chest 'i must have really upset him... does he think I'm gross? What was i thinking' negative thoughs pace themselves back and forth through his mind before sending a simple
I'm sorry
Unsure of anything else to say. He place down his phone and run a hand through his half dry hair brushing it out of his face, the thought of George hating him or even just being mad at him ate away at Dream, his chest squeezed painfully as stress spread its self through his body waiting for a reply "I hate this...why do I always have to fuck everything up" tears started to pool in the man's eyes making the emerald colour even more piercing. The sound of George's laughter echoed through his ears rembering back on all the amazing moments they shared and realising how genuinely happy Clay was when talking to George he smile softly as the tears began to flow down his cheeks and onto his pillow still smiling; heated beating faster as his chest squeezed in pain he laughed to himself softly before saying allowed to himself as though to make it final
" I love him" a sort of warm pain shot down dreams body like fire as he finally let himself accept his feelings for George; far more than that of mere friendship. They were long past it simply being jokes he had meant every word spoken to George he loved him with every bone in his body and every peice of his soul he loved George.
That is what scared him the most.

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