Primadonna Girl

One: The Story of Us... and Not the Taylor Swift Way

Ryan. 

That's who I loved for most of my life. My best friend... we were only about five when we met. It was my cousin, Malory's party, that made us meet and at that age, I was more than sure that boys had cooties... yet, Ryan made me think differently. 

I sat down at the picnic table like the rest of the small kids there. The adults stood around us forcing small talk, complimenting each other's kids, or in my case... reminding me to not shove my head in the birthday cake like I did last year at Malory's party. 

Malory and I weren't on good terms even at that age. We would fight over the last cookie, pull each other's hair and she would always blame her mistakes on me. Good thing my aunt knowns Malory like the back of her hand and knows when she lies. 

Anyway, I had received my slice of birthday cake and I was ready to dig in. But the kid beside me had no intention of eating his and threw his across the table, in the process making mine go on the grass. Ryan, who was on the other side of me, frowned and offered me a piece of his. Like the cake addict I was then (and still now,) I agreed.

That's when I knew Ryan wasn't like the other boys my age who would pick their noses and put their boogers in your face. Ryan was calm, cool, and collected. 

"What's your name?" Five year old Ryan asked me after we both finished our cake. 

"Iris... you?"

"Ryan. Want to be friends?" He asked grabbing my chubby hand.

"The bestest of friends." 

Fast foward to when we're twelve and entering grade seven together. I was a nervous wreck while Ryan, being the popular one he was, was happier than a clam. I can still remember how sweaty my palms were, how many butterflies were fluttering around in my stomach and how scared I was about how Malory would manage to destroy my reputation in grade seven, just like she did every year. 

"Don't worry, Rizzy," Ryan comforted me, "She can't do anything when I'm here." 

"She likes you, you know. Like... a lot." I remember saying while burning a slight crimson at the thought. Even at twelve, I was madly in love with Ryan. 

"I hate her, you know. Like... a lot." He mimicked my tone perfectly making me giggle then playfully slap his skinny arm. "But seriously, you'll be fine, Rizz." 

I smiled at Ryan as he took my clammy hand and led me into the junior high. We already knew the school inside and out since it was so small, it didn't take much to remember. A baby could remember the route.

It wasn't soon before all of Ryan's best buddies came and surrounded him making me incredibly uncomfortable. I was shy and Ryan was the opposite. All of his friends (including him,) were sporty. I was not. Ryan and them were cute, I was not. So you could see why we didn't really hit it off. Even in front of me they would ask him why he still hung out with me. And it was a question I still ask to myself today. Why?

"Hey, Ryan!"

"What's up, dude?"

"Yo!" 

All of them came in so quickly, I didn't know where to stand but I didn't have to worry because Ryan already told them that he'd see them later.

"You can talk to your friends, I can find my homeroom myself, Ryan."

"And you'll get lost."

"Ryan, it's smaller than the elementary school!"

"I don't care, Rizz. I don't want you to get lost."

We had moments like these all the time. The type of 'boyfriend/girlfriend' moments but I think I was the only one who would swoon at them. Ryan would just look at me strangely for a minute then go back to yakking about whatever he was interested at the moment.