I was listening to Hate Me by Blue October while writing Gerards POV, good song!
Anyway, back to the story-
Have you ever been so heart broken Why?? Why me?? A very awkward moment of silence began. She tried to turn away from me but I couldnt let her, I couldn't just stand there and let her slip through my fingers, I love her too much to let that happen. I didnt let her take a step before I opened my mouth.
"Just friends!? Friends huh?! Well just friends dont steal secret glances at each other! J-Just friends dont get butterflies from each other! Just friends... dont hold each other the way we did... Just friends dont get jealous when the other is with someone else-" As much as the thought of the bastard made me sick to my stomach. Yes! Yes, I can finally admit I WAS JEALOUS. When they dated I had to watch Jovie be with someone who didnt deserve her. And it killed me because I knew I could treat her better. I didn't want to see her with anyone but me. I tried to sound calm but the words just shot up my throat and poured out of my mouth like puke. I never knew love could hurt you this much, I was freaking out, my emotions mixed around inside me and chest started to heave as my breathing escalated and my eyes started to water. I felt pathetic, begging like a dog, trying to convince Jovie to stay with me.
"Gerard calm down. You really dont understand." She said dropping her bags and placing her hands on my shoulders in an attempt to calm me down. Her touch used to make me feel better but at this moment it wasnt working. In fact, it was doing the opposite. I felt so upset, how could she do this to me.
"NO! N-No you dont understand!" I hissed as I broke away from her touch. I didnt realize I had raised my voice and some people standing around turned and looked at me. I was breakdown in the middle of the airport with people turning their heads and watching me throw a tantrum but I didnt fucking care. I couldnt hold it all in anymore I had reached my breaking point.
"Dont 'Gerard' me Jovie! You just dont CARE about me! You dont give a fuck about my feelings do you?!" I spat as I felt my heart shrivel up, she didnt care, if she did care she wouldn't be leaving me after all we've been through.
"Gerard! Dont say that!" She gasped.
"Gerard listen, I care about you thats why im doing this!" She said looking at me with sincere caring eyes. Shes leaving me because she cares?! That dosent even make any fucking sense!
"Jovie! Listen! How... HOW can after EVERYTHING you and me have been through... How can you still say im 'Just a friend'?!" As I finished that sentence my voice cracked meaning I was about to cry, a felt a big lump in my throat and pulsing headache while feeling cold all over. I managed to continue.
"Everyday people ask me 'Are you two dating?' and you dont know how PAINFUL it is to say 'No, we're just friends'." I sniffed trying to keep myself under control and not make a complete fool of myself. I felt embarrassed for crying in public but I couldn't stop the warm tears that dripped onto the airport floor.
"But you dont know how hard it is for me! I thought YOU of all people would notice my pain!... A long time ago... you asked me to just be friends. Your telling me to ignore the feelings I have for you!" I said, wiping my teary eyes.
"W-When..." I took and deep breath and continued.
"When I look at you... When I look into your beautiful eyes... I see this perfect person." I managed to crack a small smile.
"Then theres me! This weird guy with all these problems and issues, and I dont see how you chose me... But-"
"But... please stay with me." I said reaching my hand out slowly, hoping she would take it.
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Friends With Benefits (Gerard Way FanFiction)Fanfiction
Jovie Hamilton is just any other scene 18 year old girl into art and kickass rock bands, She ends up attending New Jersey college of visual arts. She doesn't believe in love...until she meets her roommate Gerard Way, but best friends cant have sex...