folie

tears for no reason why

written on 12/17/20

---

i can't keep holding on

my arms hurt so much

i try sending messages

to anyone around me

anyone that would listen

how is it no one sees me?

how can you not see me?

i stand right in front of you

and i am crying out for help

i am holding onto you so tightly

but you don't feel a thing?

please just drown me

i fear pain more than anything

but i feel it in every waking moment

so how bad could anything else be?

how much more can i endure

i ask you this everyday

and there is never an answer

i will beg and bleed for a response

i don't know how to get what i want

the mind inside my head does not agree

what it wants is to shut down, let go

the idea of finally finding peace is convincing

and i'm so tired of holding on, i just might let go

---

i don't know what's going on with me today but i'm just really messed up. wrote this to ease my mind but it didn't really help. have a good night my loves.