No escape

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New's P.O.V

I could only sigh right now looking at my state. Tay is everything I have ever wanted in a life partner, A rude for nothing but you know he secretly cares.

Our endless bickering, our useless fights, and the time We spent together, I didn't know It had meant so much for me.

Maybe Tay not being here is actually fine, It is making me feel less guilty for acting selfishly, That man has given me love and only love and yet I felt like backstabbing him.

My initial plan was to explain everything to Tay today, about my feelings, about his, about everything, and also in detail.

 Actually, I have been meaning to do it ever since I got to know about my feelings and well I tried, I tried to tell him yesterday night but just looking at him made me tear up and... I couldn't. (a/n: back to ch-14 last parts) 

I would want to tell him that I loved him back but we weren't bound to happen and that I only wish him to be happy. Even the thought breaks me down.

 But on the other hand, I think it is better to not see Tay right now and maybe I will be fine in an hour or two. It will be easier for his feelings and definitely a lot easier for mine too.

I was so much into my thoughts that I didn't know that We were already done with Sinsod
(it is basically a dowry offering in Thai culture in which dowry is offered to the bride's mom in exchange for giving their precious daughter to the groom.)

Ploy's mom was acting as If the tray provided by us was so heavy and People were laughing due to her poor acting skills. Oops- There I said it.

After all the tray was cleared up by Ploy's relative. It was finally the time for Sai Monkhon.
(it is considered as the main part of the wedding which is the most complicated for me to explain so please google it hehe) 

My hands were getting sweatier by the minute, Ploy's father came with a thread. After this ceremony, it means I am fully married now.

I even considered just leave everything here and then and run away. Away from all the people that were looking at me all smileys, away from my dad's deal with me, away from my mom questionable and worried stares, away from my best friends who were happily chatting and showing me thumbs up or mumbling, 'su su na! fighting! to me.

 Ok, this is it then, I am running away, I am done! I suddenly stood up from my seat without even realizing it.

"What are you doing, Thitipoom?" A strict voice brought me back to my sense.

 Business. 

Happiness. 

family.

dad.

This is why I made this decision in the first place!

 His intimidating glare had said it all. A shiver ran through my spine as I sat back. "Oh! It felt uneasy so I am shifting a bit." I said smiling to which everyone giggled.

 I have already committed the mistake now, there is no backing away... there is no escape.

And Just like that, the said ceremony also came to an end. And I was already married. 

"Woah, such a long day it was. Damn!" Krist said and Singto nodded. They were taking me back to the dressing room but in the venue.

"Do you like it P'New?" Singto asked.

 "New, Newww" Singto shook me and brought me back from my thoughts. 

"Yeah, It's nice." They both nodded.

After some time, I had already changed to the suit which P'Arm made for me. I swiftly touched it with my hands. The beautiful fabric was on my body yet I didn't felt confident.

 Instead, I broke down. Everything happened so fast. And I was not liking it in any form. But what could I do when I was bound to tie the knot with Ploy.

I realized that I had already destroyed three lives including mine and that made me feel so vulnerable and like every other person facing a difficult would do, I cried. 

I cried my heart out in the bathroom. 

Only If I could muster up the courage to say 'no' to my dad, only if I had listened to mom, only if I hadn't asked for happiness and acceptance from my own dad, only if I wasn't self-absorbed and confident enough to tell Tay my feelings, maybe things would have gone the other way.

Only if...

"New, Are you in there?" Suddenly I heard my mom's voice.

"uhh yes-yes," I quickly wiped my tears and washed my face. I opened the bathroom door to be greeted by mom and other staff whom I suppose are my hairstylist and makeup artists. 

"You look handsome, son," My mom said smiling at me ever so genuinely.

 I forced a smile back only to see her frown and before she could say anything, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her shoulder digging my head there. She slowly pats my shoulder as if she knew what was going on in my mind. 

'parents know everything, It's just that they ignore it so that their child would come up eventually and talk to them.'  I remembered Tay telling me that one time when we were rehearsing for Dark Blue Kiss. 

That day I had told him about dad kicking me out because I wanted to be an actor, I told Tay how genuinely I loved my dad, and Tay had only listened and patted my back.

THIRD PERSON P.O.V~

"It's gonna be fine, New." His mom said and New smiled nodding.

 "By the way, Why isn't Tay here, yet? you said he would come for the reception, right?" His mom had asked while making her way out of the room for New to get his stuff done. 

New suddenly remembered and decided to call Tay, He missed him. 

In a short span of things that had happened, he wanted to hug Tay, feel his warmth to keep him on track, and not lose his mind.

This time New wasn't rooting for his one-sided love but waiting for his best friend to smack him in the head and tell him things will go right.

Just when New was busy calling Tay whose phone had been switched off, He heard the door burst open and Off calling him. 

He looked at Off only to find the one who he wanted to meet stood there like a statue.

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Here is my Christmas gift for you all since the clock strikes 12 just now and your author is broke to give you guys other gifts 😧
well, don't want to rant but I found out that I suck writing about people's feelings, ugh. so...finger cross you didn't found it lame and you guys enjoyed it! Also, ignore my grammatical errors.
Anyhoo, take care<3 and Merry Christmas! I Hope Santa fulfills all you guy's Christmas wishes♡ 

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