Sarah's Roses, Book II: Roses of White

Chapter XXIX

Chapter XXIX

A hand gently shook me and a soft voice called out, "Sarah, Sarah."

My eyes shot open and I sat up abruptly, I knew that voice, even though I hadn't heard it for over fifteen years, I could tell it from a mile away. It was the voice of my mother. I blinked a few times, to be sure I wasn't imagining, but no, there she was, my own mother sat in front of me. She looked very much as I had always remembered her, the beautiful golden locks were gathered up in much the same fashion as I was accustomed and she was even wearing that old brown dress that hung in my closet. Only she didn't have that tired, sad look, her face was calm and bright. Looking around, I was surprised to discover we were in the old basement Mama and myself used to live in. Everything was how I remembered it. I was sitting on the old bed, the table and two chairs stood in the corner, the closet by the wall and the crooked window which looked up into the noisy street. The only difference was here everything was still and quiet, nothing moved, nothing peeped, nothing breathed. What was I doing here? How was all this possible.

"Mama?" I tentatively asked, not believing what my eyes were telling me.

"My poor, poor, Sarah," Mama took me into her arms, "what sorrows you have had to live through."

I clung to her as tears began pouring out of my eyes. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed her until now. Those delicate arms that had once rocked me to sleep, the fragile shoulder I had laid my childish head on, and that lovely voice that would sing me lullabies. She had never been cross with me, the only thing she had ever given me was love and I had sorely missed that love after her death, because that love, the love of a mother had never been replaced in my life.

"Oh, Mama, I've missed you so," I sobbed.

"There, there," she soothed, stroking my hair, "I am proud of you, my dear Sarah, my brave little princess."

I pulled away and looked into her sky blue eyes, "am I dead?" I asked. That was the only explanation I could come up with as to why we were sitting together.

She let out a kind laugh, "no, you're not dead."

"But you are?"

"I am."

"Then...how is all this possible?"

"I suppose you could say you're in that middle place between life and death," she explained, "sort of like a world between the two worlds."

"Oh." I was silent for a little while, pondering this very strange place to be, "and am I going to pass over to your world?"

Mama shook her head, "no, your life isn't over yet, Sarah. You are going to return to the physical realm. What you all call the world of the living and what we call the land of the shadows."

"Then...what am I doing here?"

Mama reached out and brushed some of my curls away, "so many things about your past and your history were kept from you, Sarah," she whispered, "by me, by your aunt and uncle, by many people who loved you and sought to keep you safe. But the truth is, Sarah, there is nothing dangerous about your past. There is sorrow in it, there is pain and bitterness, but all that can be turned into something beautiful. The past that has been kept from you, Sarah, the time has come for you to discover it. You will find much that is wrong, ugly and unjust, but only in understanding what was can you decide on what will be. Let your past guide you through the present and into the future," She placed a soft kiss on my forehead, "always remember this, Sarah, the yesterday that is broken was the today we did not mend."

***

I opened my eyes and squinted from the blinding light. Why weren't the curtains drawn? The sun's rays were shining right in my eyes. There was a dull ache in my right side, my stomach growled from lack of food and my throat was dry. Casting a look around I noticed I was in the tiny room I shared with Elsie and Evy. Had I dreamed the past events? Bother that light, it was making my eyes hurt. I had just about made up my mind to get up and block it when I noticed a dark face beside me.