Safe and Sound (Katsuki Bakugou AgeRe)

Thumb-Sucking (w/ Carer Kiri)

!!! BIG CW FOR TRANSPHOBIA AT ONE PART (T-slur from the gross grape boy), and also self doubt !!!

Sometimes, Katsuki feels... small.

It's hard to explain, but when he gets really stressed out, he feels a bit juvenile. Babyish, even. He'll find himself being whiny and seeking out childish comforts like playing with his hair, watching animated shows, wrapping himself in a soft blanket.

The more stressed out he is, the younger he feels. And as consequence, the younger he feels, the more embarrassing his actions are. In the past he's done things like wet the bed, call up his mother crying, gone completely nonverbal in front of his friends.

But the worst of it, the thing that makes Katsuki want to curl up in a ball and disappear from the world, is the thumb sucking.

This is the worst because despite it being so OBVIOUS, he never registers that he's actually doing it. It's one of the first signs that he's about to slip into his humiliating headspace, and yet he's not even aware of the thumb in his mouth until it's wrinkly and slick with his own saliva.

It's disgusting.

He knows in the back of his mind that he should figure this out. Talk to a therapist, do online research, SOMETHING. Anything, really. But he's stubborn, so instead of facing his internal struggle head-on, he pushes it down until he can find any semblance of control over it and attempts the best treatment of mental illness that he knows: repression.

(Spoiler alert: not healthy.)

It's been a very stressful week.

First, he found out that he's failing English. Yamada Sensei pulled him aside after class and apologetically told him that he needed to find someone willing to tutor him, because he doesn't have the time to do it himself.

(Eijirou, ever the clingy bastard, was waiting for him outside the classroom and happened to hear everything. Lucky for Katsuki, English happened to be his best course, and he eagerly offered to help him get his grades up.)

Next, he rolled his ankle during training and was ordered to sit out for the rest of the week by Recovery Girl. Apparently, he's been "too reckless" and has "subsequently used up his healing privileges." He thinks it's a load of bullshit, but manages to keep himself from telling her this to avoid further punishment.

After that, Mineta had to go and run his mouth to Kaminari about "all the trannies in class." Apparently, someone trying to be comfortable in their own skin is a turnoff for the little shrimp. Normally, Katsuki would grit his teeth and try not to blow him up, but he was at his wit's end. He ended up screaming at Mineta through tears and explosions, despite Kaminari's best efforts to calm him down. The much shorter boy didn't know whether to be terrified or repulsed by Katsuki's actions, but he kept his mouth shut after that.

And now he's studying with Eijirou.

"... So," the redhead says, tapping his pencil on his thighs. "You wanna talk about it?"

"About what?" Katsuki spits, rubbing his thumb on his chin absentmindedly.

"Mineta," Eijirou clarifies. "I mean, he definitely had it coming, but I haven't seen you get that emotional when fighting anyone other than Midoriya. You doing okay?"

"... Can't we just study?" Katsuki says, sighing.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure, man," Eijirou says. "Okay, so, this word means..."

Katsuki can't focus. His brain feels clouded and heavy as he desperately tries to follow Eijirou's words. He drags his thumb over his lips, rubbing his nail against the soft skin in a half-conscious attempt to ground himself.