Beyond MxB

Chapter 15

My skin crawled underneath his scrutinizing stare, as if the man I'd love to call my lover was trying to peer into my soul. And damned if it wasn't unnerving. His body heat was slowly turning back to normal and I couldn't help but pull him in a bit closer, enjoying his weight in my arms before I had to set him down in my bed.

His hand wrapped around my wrist as soon as I had set him down and intended to get back up again. I glanced at his face, inhaling deeply as Thorn nibbled on his lip before tugging at my wrist and pulling me beside him.

"Oh boy..." I crawled on the bed beside him, instantly controlling my instincts and blocking my muscles. Thorn might be a bit better than last night but he was still rather weak and I knew that.

"Did you mean it?"

I froze, my heart stopping for an instant before it started racing in my chest until I was sure that Thorn could hear it. I don't know how much he heard so I tried to remain calm as I asked, "Just...how much of it-"

"All of it. I managed to get out of my bed after you checked up on me." His stomach growled, making Thorn blush as he mumbled, "Wanted to get some food."

Now, I could do two things; either get out of the room to get Thorn's food and avoid the subject but...no, I decided that it was time to come true and tell Thorn the truth, consequences be damned.

So I lifted him up again, shushing his muttered protests as I drew a comfortable blanket around him. "I'll explain, but you need to eat and I'm not comfortable with leaving you out of my sights, so we're going to the kitchen where I can prepare some food and still have my eyes on you."

That stopped his protests before Thorn cuddled a bit closer, his soft hair tickling my throat. I couldn't resist to lean down and inhale deeply, barely brushing my lips against his head. Judging by the way Thorn twitched and buried his face against my chest, he had some feelings of his own.

As the kitchen came into view, my nerves spiked sky high; I was going to tear my chest open and lay my heart bare for Thorn and I only hoped that he had the same feelings I had. Because I couldn't imagine someone else coming into his life and steal him away from me.

That boy would forever hold my heart, like it or not.

---Thorn's POV---

I...

My eyes were stuck on Bidziil's tense back as he shuffled through the kitchen, preparing a meal as I tried to process what happened. All I could hear was how Bidziil had confessed...confessed what?

A frown crept on my face as I kept my eyes on him. Part of me wanted to believe that he said it in the heat of the moment. But why hasn't he denied his feelings then?

Maybe because he wasn't lying?  That sneaky voice in my mind replied before I could stop it. As I glanced back at him, I could see the worried expression on his face, the troubled gaze in his eyes.

Afraid. He's...afraid? But of what?

"Bidziil..." I started, hesitating a bit since I didn't know what to ask. Was he in love with me? Lust? Or was it just something he said to get his brother off of his back?

"About what you said-"

"Do you need to ask Thorn?" Bidziil's voice rumbled as he placed a plate of food down in front of me. I bit my lip, feeling a bit anxious before I shook my head. It was quite clear that Bidziil had feelings for me.

Feelings that I had as well.

"No...It's just difficult to...believe and trust, I guess." I mumbled softly, hearing absolute silence before he sighed and all a sudden I was pulled up and plopped down in his lap as he sat down on my spot.

His hands rubbed over my arms soothingly before they curled around, trapping me against his chest. "And why do you find it hard to trust and believe what I feel for you, precious?"

My stomach twitched at the way that nickname rolled off his lips before I stilled as I felt Bidziil rest his chin on top my head, pulling me fully into his embrace and surrounding me with his pure masculinity.

"Uhm...Its not that I don't wanna trust you, I do, but-" I rubbed a hand over my face, feeling annoyed and irritated with myself. Why was it so difficult for me to trust him, again? I didn't have an issue with trusting and teasing the guy when my hormones were on the fritz a few days ago!

"You've been through a lot Thorn, and honestly, I would be extremely surprised if you were able to trust anyone willy-nilly." Bidziil spoke wisely, his fingers distracting me slightly as they kept rubbing what should be soothing circles over my skin, but instead, I couldn't help but get a bit worked up.

"I hate it." I suddenly spat out; my fingers clutching at Bidziil's back as I felt the anger and resentment of my childhood suddenly flood my entire being. "I want to like and trust someone at the snap of a finger, but I can't. Every time I meet someone new, my first thoughts on that person are in the lines of how likely he's gonna try and kill me or Blake and the kids. I wanna be normal!"

My body was nearly vibrating before I jolted as several loud crashed echoed through the kitchen along with Bidziil's shocked exclamation before he sighed deeply. I glanced behind me and closed my eyes remorsefully. Déjà vu much?

The whole kitchen was a mess, several pots had been flung out of their cupboards and across the room, denting the stainless steel and damaging the tile floor. The doors of the cupboard creaked pathetically before it fell off its hinges, making me winch before I turned back to Bidziil with a sheepish and apologetic look on my face.

"Yeah...sorry about that." I muttered, gaining a smile from Bidziil as he chuckled and rubbed my back. "Almost reminds me of when mom was pregnant." He joked, which earned him a slap as I glared at him. He just compared me to a hormonal pregnant woman!

"Jerk!" I hissed, trying to et out of his hold but it was an impossible feet with the way his arms were tangled around me. I squirmed, wriggled and pushed against him but it only succeeded to get me pressed closer against him, not farther away until I was pressed against the table with Bidziil hovering over me.

My breath caught in my throat as the man leaned over, his golden eyes flaring with his emotions as he planted those two large palms beside my head and leaned down. "You still haven't answered my question love."

"You didn't ask?" I managed to reply, pressing against the table as his lips curled in a sinful smile that would seduce a nun out of her robes. "True. Let me ask it now then; are you willing to trust me and do you feel something for me?"

I gulped, very aware at how Bidziil's frame towered over me. If it was anyone else, I would've felt threatened with how he was poised above me like a hungry predator, just waiting to strike.

The feelings that bubbled up inside were anything but fear and that quickly made me realize that in a sense, I already trusted Bidziil. I didn't realize my lips were moving until I heard me croak a  hushed, "I think I already do."

That was enough for the man to lean down and claim my lips hungrily, teeth clashing and tongues hungrily dueling for control as he squished me against the table with a groan.

We really started to get into it and I was half tempted to rip Bidziil's shirt off but stopped as my stomach protested loudly with a long gurgle that seemed to echo through the room, making my cheeks heat in embarrassment while Bidziil snorted out a laugh.

"Soon." He purred the promise in my ear before nipping at the lobe and stood up, allowing me to sit back up on shaking limbs. My body heated up longingly as his darkened eyes watched me closely and I shivered at the dark promise in his eyes.

Very soon, I hope.