Love UnHeard || SeongJoong [Ateez]

[Part Z] 5. Koi no Yokan.

Our foreheads touching, his watery eyes looking at me with such emotion... I hoped mine said the same or even more.

He closed his eyes again and backed off. He looked at me, [they are all here, ] he signed.
[It's embarrassing.] His cheeks were red, and his eyes puffy. The cutest sight my eyes could have ever seen.

[Did you sleep tonight?] I asked.

[Not at all, ]

[Why?]

[I was thinking, ]

[About?] He never answered, he just hugged me and made himself comfortable. I fell asleep no long after him.

After that day, he awkwardly left and didn't answer my texts. Did I do wrong? I thought, but his eyes didn't tell me so that day. I wished I could know what was in his head, but the closest thing to that was talking to his dearest friend.

So I did, I approached him on his dorm a day later and asked about his friend. Jongho answered sincerely, he didn't know what was going on with the shorter. He was the type to keep his feelings away and throw them to the trash, ignoring them and putting on a fake energetic smile until the problem was forgotten for good. He explained.

He also told me how Hongjoong had never been in love and that he wasn't sure of what it was. He told me that the first time we kissed he ran to him and cried because he thought it was bad.
<<Did I make him feel that way?>> But as I thought of it Jongho told me it wasn't that, he explained how his parents back at home felt about LGBTQ+ people and some stories that caused him to fear being different.

I listened and understood-- well I didn't LISTEN listen you know? HAHAHA I'm so funny (I hated that). This is serious >:(

I tried my best to understood Hongjoong, where he came from and what was going through his head. I got it, he just needs time, that is all.

I left him on his own, I didn't want to push him but every day that passed he looked worst. His eyes looked tired, his paintings did too. He didn't speak and I didn't saw him on the cafeteria often.

At this point we were all worried, he didn't find any of what was happening or gave away any clue of why he was acting like that. We were all so happy and everything was going so smooth until I kissed him.

I couldn't stop but think it was all my fault, that I didn't read his eyes well and misunderstood his feelings. Now because of me, he was suffering all alone again.

This was not how I planned it, I wanted to confess to him and as him to be my boyfriend, I wanted a happy ending but all I got was the person I loved being torn apart. And it hurts so much. My heart felt so empty I couldn't take it anymore, I was not planning on letting him go.

Our endless nights watching shows, our cooking classes we thought to ourselves, all the times I've seen him smile and all the times I've seen him cry. I knew I had to be there for him, I want to think that he needs me as much as I need him.

And then it came yesterday, 13 of February.
I made my way to his dorm, not too far away from mine, and mocked harshly on the door. No one opened so I tried again, and again and again. No answer.
My mind didn't even have time to think when my feet started walking in direction of the skate park. Where could he be if not?

When I got there I saw him shivering, it was cold and he wasn't even wearing a jacket. What kind of stupid is he? Was he trying to pull some drama shit? If he was, he got it. I placed my jacket on his shoulders once I got close enough, he jumped scared at first but quickly took it off when he realised it was me.

"What are you doing here?" He spoke clearly.

[Picking you up, it's frozen come outside tonight.]

"I don't need anyone taking care of me... I know what I'm doing."

[Yeah you are freezing, now let's go.] I grabbed his arm and tried to get him up from the bench he was sitting at. He shouted something I could not read and pushed his arm away.
He spoke again, but I didn't catch what he said.

[Sorry, ] he then signed.

"It's okay, I'm here..." I dared to speak. Slowly but surely, I made my way to his arms and got him up. He intertwined our hands on the way back home, his skate on the other. The skate we bought him. A smile appeared on my lips unconsciously as I looked at him, relating a little his head over my shoulder.

I asked myself if this was a good time for a confession, but I quickly realised it wasn't. I simply got him comfortably to his house and bid goodbye with a warm hug.

I still don't know why he acted like that, I've had no time to ask. But I will when he gets better, right now he's beside me, hugging a giant pillow an own. He said he couldn't sleep well these days and that company would make it easier, I obviously agreed.

He still hasn't talked to the others, but I made sure to let them know things were getting better.

And for a long time, I had someone with me on Valentine's day. Someone I was falling deep for, someone I knew I was going to fall deep for.
My Koi no Yokan.

A/N: pls notice how different the characters see the world from Part A (Hj's pov) to Part Z (Sh's pov). I'm trying to really get you guys into their heads.

Also the artworks I place as the beginnings for imaginary purpose! I search for them and choose them very carefully ❤

Live y'all