She Was Always There

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I look across the table into her perfect green eyes. Kate has always been there for me. She helped me to finally get away from that monster, Christian Grey. She supported me as I ran from the house, little Olivia and Ryan in tow, and got me to the women's shelter, where they then transported me to another shelter in California for safety. The three of us have lived there for 6 months now, and it feels like we are in the witness protection program. I have to be careful of our every move. I've already altered my appearance - cut and dyed my hair - and I wear sunglasses everywhere I go, but I am still weary he will somehow find us. I've had to change the kids' appearances as well, although they grow and change so quickly, I doubt he'd recognize them. Thank goodness they aren't in school yet, so I don't have to worry about him abducting them from there. Right now they're with my friend who lives across the hall back at the shelter. She knows how to keep them safe since she is going through the same thing, and she is the only one I trust to watch them.

I'm meeting with Kate to say goodbye. They are moving us overseas in a week for our continued protection. It was my therapists' suggestion, and I couldn't agree more.  It's so sad to think that I once fell for his lies, but the cycle of abuse ends here! I refuse to bring my children up in that kind of environment. I refuse to let my son, my beautiful, blonde haired angel, grow up to think women are property to be owned and abused. 

Kate looks at me quizzically. "You've been really quiet today," she says. "Yeah." "You are worried he followed me, aren't you?" I nod. "Look, I know he is a sociopath, but I assure you, I took the utmost precautions. He won't find you through me," she says assuringly. I can't help but to believe her, but I still find myself shrugging into my shoulders up and crouching down in my seat, trying to make myself as small as possible. "I know you would never intentionally lead him to me, but I feel really uncomfortable in such a public place. Can we go somewhere else?" "Sure," she says and we get up to leave. Once outside, I feel more exposed than ever, but Kate quickly hails a cab and we climb in.

"The Candida on Sunset," she says to the driver. "A hotel?" I ask. "Yeah. We can rent a room for the day under a different name. That way you can relax and he can't find you." I smile. "I think that's actually one of the most brilliant ideas you've ever had, Katherine Kavanaugh." "Why thank you Anastasia Steele." I grin again at the sound of my name without the "Grey" attached to it. I am free from the name, but will I ever truly be free of him? I shake my head and resolve to enjoy myself today. Afterall, I haven't seen Kate in weeks, and I want to cherish these last moments with her. 

We pull up to the hotel and get out. Kate pays the taxi and it zips away. We walk into the lobby."Wait here," Kate instructs, and I lean against the counter of brochures and try to look unassuming. Kate checks us in and brings the key over to me. "Room 303," she says with a smile, and grabs my hand. She leads me to the elevator and presses the button. She hasn't let go of me yet, and I'm starting to think I don't want her to. I look at her profile and she is beaming. Has she always been this radiant? I know she has, but I was always jealous of her. Now that I am more clear-headed and not under the spell of Christian, I can see how breathtaking she truly is. Not only is she beautiful, but she has always been there for me, no questions asked.

The elevator dings and the doors open. We step inside together, and she presses the button for the third floor. As the doors close, I get a rush of panic. In the last few years Christian loved to force me to do things to him in elevators. It gave him a rush to see me squrim uncomfortably. But I'm not with him right now. I'm with Kate. Holding her soft, feminine hand. I blush as I realize how wonderful holding her hand feels. The doors open and we stroll down the hall to room 303. She lets go of my hand and I feel its absence immediately. There's suddenly a void, one so big and black that it scares me to think what it means, and secretly wish I never had to let go of her hand ever again. Kate slides the card into the lock and the little green light comes on. She opens the door and says "After you." I smile and go inside first. 

The room is larger than I had anticipated. There is a bathroom to the right as you walk in, with a jetted tub and a nice, marble two sink vanity. There is an oak desk with a chair next to a full-length mirror and a 40 inch flat screen tv on top of a dresser. I notice she got a room with a king sized bed and its gaudy floral comforter taunts me. There is also a tan couch to the left of the bed that looks very comfortable, so I decide to sit there. She follows and stis on the other end. "Nice room," I say. She nods. "But isn't it a little too nice? I mean, we're only going to be here for a couple of hours." "I wanted you to be comfortable Ana."  

Her hand rests on the couch in between us, and I ache to pick it up. She catches me staring at it, and takes my hand in hers. She brings it up near her face, kisses it, and then stares at it as she traces her fingers up and down it. A heat begins to build within me, and a shiver runs down my spine. "This is nice," she whispers, and kisses my hand again. "Kate, what about Elliot?" "What about him?" "Well, he's your husband." She lets go of my hand and stands up. She walks over to the desk and faces away from me. "We're getting a divorce," she says softly.  I rise and walk over to stand behind her. I put my hands on her hips and kiss her shoulder. "Oh Kate, I'm so sorry." She turns around and embraces me. I gently stroke her hair and pat her back. She pulls back. "When did this happen?" I ask. "It didn't happen all at once. It's been deteriorating little by little over the years. I just woke up three days ago and realized that he wasn't the one. I'm not in love with him anymore. So I left." She lets out a sigh and sits down on the bed. "So that's it?" I ask," You just fell out of love?" "I don't know," she says, "maybe I never was in love to begin with. We were both so young and naive, Ana. I think we rushed into it. It's just, I saw you with Christian, and I felt you pulling away. I missed you, so I tried to fill the void by going after Elliot. I see now it was all a huge mistake." "I...I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry, Kate. I know I pushed you away. He had such a hold on me. I didn't know who I was or what I was doing. All I knew was that I thought it was love. I didn't realize that I was treating the one person who has been there for me the most out of my life. Will you ever forgive me?" "Oh Ana," she says as she pulls me in for another hug, "I will always forgive you. And I will always be there for you." She pulls back and looks into my eyes. I feel the heat again and suddenly feel myself leaning in toward her. She leans in too, and before I know what's happening, our lips meet. The warmth I felt in one part of my body suddenly releases to the rest of it and washes over me. She kisses me softly and tenderly, and I find that I am getting more and more turned on. She lets out a small moan, and I feel her press into me. I never knew that kissing could make me feel so good. With Christian it was always so rough. I thought I liked it, but now I realize I was just inexperienced. 

She gently lays me back on the bed and caresses my body from my hip to my breast slowly. She stops kissing me to ask if I'm okay. "Yeah," I say breathlessly, and pull her back in. She slides her hand up my body again, this time bringing my shirt up with it. She runs her finger around my nipple through my bra, and it hardens in response. She asks one more time if this is what I want. "Yes," I say with all the certainty in the world. 

Before I know it, our clothes are off, and our legs entwine. Our lips never leave each other for more than a moment as we position ourselves correctly. I can feel her getting wetter and wetter as she grinds herself against my leg. “I want to taste you so bad,” she moans. I lay back on the bed and spread my legs open for her. She slithers down my body before she settles herself over my sex. I brace myself for the roughness of her tongue, but am surprised when I am met with a warm softness. It’s so different than with Christian. I thought I liked it rough, but I realize now I was just inexperienced. I can feel myself getting ready to come already, and before I can stop it, the waves of pleasure take over. I moan and rock against her mouth. I wonder when she’s going to stop, but she just keeps going. I relax into it and she runs circles around my clit. At first it’s too sensitive, and I almost tell her to stop, but soon I feel myself being rocked by another thunderous orgasm. My body shakes and quivers and I ride the feeling until I can’t handle it anymore.

I sit up, and she crawls up to meet my lips once again. I flip her over onto the bed and make a trail of kisses down her body until I get to my final destination. She brings her hips up, and her sex meets my mouth. I find her clit with my tongue and flick it a few times before feverishly alternating between sucking and licking. She rocks her hips in a perfect rhythm, and I slowly slide a finger inside her. She responds by moaning loudly and moving quicker. After a few minutes, she comes hard. Her body is still quivering as I crawl up to lay beside her. She puts her arm around me and I snuggle into her chest. “Well that was different.” I giggle. “That was making love, Ana,” she says and kisses my forehead.

As I fall asleep in her arms, I realize I am in love with her. I love Katherine Kavanaugh. I think I always have, and I think I always will. 

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