12. Everything would be fine

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I knew what was going on with him. I knew what was up. I just had to take a look on the hopeless expression in his face and I knew exactly what happened. I didn’t know how to cheer him up but I knew if I would be him all I would need is someone to hold me close in his arms.

And that’s exactly what I did.

Sobs were leaving his throat. “Thank you.” He whispered and I gave him a kiss on his forehead.

A few minutes later we both sat on my couch and we were talking about what happened. He explained everything with every single detail and first of all I was really proud of our whole relationship since he trusted me that much. We spent nearly an hour of sitting there and talking and at the end he even managed to smile. And that’s exactly what I wanted to see ever since the minute he walked totally exhausted into my apartment two hours earlier. I tried to give him the best advices I could give and I think it kind of worked. I hated how hurt he was and I just really tried to help him out with this problem.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Sauli asked a little bit later. “I really don’t want to go home and see my parents right now.” He added and shrugged with his shoulders.

“Of course, Sauli, you can stay as long as you want.” I answered with a small smile.

“I’m so glad that I have you.” He said, stroking my cheek with his hand. “I wouldn’t know what I should do without you.” Sauli smiled and his words literally made my heart melt. And I was so glad that it made him smile.

“You don’t ever have to be without me anymore.” I leaned closer to him and gave him a quick kiss. It was just a small one, but with such a big meaning. “You want to sleep, huh?” I asked after a little while, noticing how tired he was.

“If that’s okay for you?” He asked and I nodded, getting up right after that. We got ready for bed and after something like fifteen minutes we laid in bed next to each other. I had thrown my arms around him and he had thrown his around me and so we were laying beside each other without a millimeter of space left between us.

“Sleep well.” Sauli said and looked up to me while laying in my arms. “I love you.” He whispered with a smile.

“I love you too.” I answered, kissing his forehead again. “Goodnight.”

A few weeks earlier when I arrived at the school and saw Sauli for the first time I would have never even dared to think that he would become my boyfriend. Wait. He wasn’t even my boyfriend. Yet? Does he even think about us as a real couple? Maybe even though he was laying in one bed with me, he’s too scared for something like that now. His parents probably gave him such an insecure feeling about all of this. Or maybe that’s all he wants. It’s all I want, actually. It’s scary to think that one person can rule your entire happiness and your well-being. I don’t think I could be happy without him anymore. We don’t know each other for too long but already long enough to say that I love him and that I don’t want to be without him anymore. He makes me feel like I can do anything and all I want is to make him feel like that too. And for him to feel like that forever. He maybe lost his whole confidence because of the guys in school and now because of his parents, but I’d do anything to give him that confidence back.

I promised myself that.

He fell asleep pretty fast and I was so glad about that. He needed to rest. Plus: I wanted to watch him sleep. He sleeps like an angel and I could watch him forever.

On the next day we sat opposite to each other and ate breakfast. It was pretty silent around us, all we could hear was the music coming from my radio but it was close to being completely muted.

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