Perplexing Simplicities

episode⑲

"Namjoon, we need to talk."

Namjoon scratched his neck "I know," and pointed to a bench.

They sat on opposite ends. Namjoon turning to face Jin slightly as he leaned his elbow on his leg, and Jin sitting arms crossed, legs crossed, facing slightly away from him.

Jin licked his lips and turned his head. "I need you not to bother my friends."

There was a moment of silence as Namjoon frowned and processed the request.

"W-what?"

"Sandeul said you talked to him about me...?" Jin raised an eyebrow accusingly while Namjoon angrily buried his head in his hands.

"Asshole," he muttered.

"What?"

Namjoon took a deep breath, refusing to look at Jin. "I said asshole. Your friend's an asshole."

Jin frowned and licked his lips again in frustration. "He didn't do anything Namjoon don't you dare talk about my friend that way!"

Namjoon closed his eyes angrily. He hated this. Every fiber of his being just wanted to hug Jin and be close to him and be... a person to him, again... But he couldn't. And it hurt.

He was quiet for a moment as he put the ache aside.

"I'm sorry."

There was another long silence before Namjoon took a breath that he seemed to have been holding, and turned to Jin.

"I'm sorry for calling him an asshole. I just ran into him at a café and asked him how you were. I didn't know that was considered 'bothering'."

Jin squinted and hummed quietly to himself. "Mmm, that's what he said. Then, I'm sorry for assuming."

Namjoon nodded slowly and glanced up as he felt Jin stand next to him.

"Well, uh, that was all so... I should get going-"

"Wait! Jin I wanted to talk to you." Namjoon stood as well and frowned at the elder for trying to get away.

Jin fidgeted under his glare but finally sat down again.

"Uh..." Namjoon dug his hands in his pockets and looked at his shoes sheepishly, "Y-you may want to stay standing for this part..."

Jin gave him a questioning look.

Namjoon licked his lips. "It's just... I feel like you're really going to want to run away from me after this so, standing is better."

Jin nodded slowly and cleared his throat. "So?"

There was a long quiet filled with the rustling of leaves in the wind and the sound of cars as they drove over the wet pavement. It was oddly calming for Namjoon, and as he stood there, looking at Jin, right in front of him, breathing in and out the same air, he felt unbelievably... solid.

"Jin."

He could do it.

He would do it.

He was doing it.

In...... and out......

"I like you."

And suddenly it was like his skin was burning.

The fear was gone, replaced with shaky, uncertain, swallowing, doubt.

"I've liked you for a while actually..." He laughed nervously and kicked his foot into the pavement. "That's maybe why I kissed you... And, told you I was gay..."