A Life's Story

A Life’s Story

Chapter 1

            Tears roll out of my eyes and over my cheeks, as shove my fingers down my throat for the fifth time. I resent this so much, but it is my only way to lose weight. My throat burns as the chunks come up slowly, sliding against my skin, through the mouth and into the toilet. I try it a few more times, to make sure there is no food left in my body. When I am certain, I stop, flush the toilet, and wash my face and hands thoroughly. I walk out as nothing in the washroom ever happened, but I am afraid whether someone may have heard me. I go out to see my family sitting on the couch, watching TV as nothing had happened. I run up to put on a clean shirt and go to bed.

            I reflect to myself in bed, when did I start this torture? I guess it started when I got teased about my weight. In grade 7, I remember being laughed at, and I couldn’t stand up for myself. I watched as my friends stood there, either shocked or laughing along. What friends, is what I thought. My life was hysterical (uncontrollably emotional). I thought I had good friends, yet I was not welcomed by any group. I was only somewhat welcomed when some girl felt sorry for me. Jenna was not evil but very blunt and could easily make me cry. I wanted to die, I even tried.

            When I walk in to school, I put a mask on my face. Pretending I was happy and had so much self esteem. People are shocked when they find out what it is now. Every time my face would fool the students, they took advantage of me thinking that I’m humble and can’t do much back. Jenna would bully me, but I didn’t do much back. I let her because I thought of her to be my friend and after our conflicts were over, we could run and tell secrets. I was wrong. It never happened and I always thought it would.

            Annie was one of the girls that Mrs. Tyler told me to try being friends with. She was a bitch to me. I never thought that in such a grade, someone could be so cruel. She would spread rumors that brought such pleasure to her. I trusted her with my secrets, and I soon found out she was telling others. One time, I was told that Annie told everyone that I liked every guy in the class. No one ever spoke to me. It was as if they would catch the swine flu if they came near me.

            Life at home was no different. I was teased about my weight by my own parents. They would laugh at me. One time I was at a cousin’s party and I overheard my parents telling my aunts and uncles about my weight and they all laughed. My self esteem was getting lower and lower. To top it off, my best friend, whom I had trusted my entire life and known my entire life as well was laughing at me. The other day, Halley and I were riding our bikes at the park when we met one of our friends, a guy. We decided to ride our bikes, when he started commenting about my weight, Halley was laughing along with him.

            When I am depressed or feel strong emotions, I eat. I then regret it. My whole life, I have been very athletic, I love sports. Sometimes when I play soccer, it’s like I’m the only one in the world, I am happy and enjoy. That is the time I get to think. It happens as well with basketball and cross country. I have tried many workouts, yet they are no help. “I am a fat piece of shit, which no one likes. I am a nuisance to everyone. Everyone’s lives would be so much better without me. I’m ugly, fat, and stupid. No one cares about me or likes me. I am worthless!” I shout at myself, I am crying at the end.

            My parents don’t appreciate me; they never see how hard I try. They just mock me and find me a joke. I am Cinderella without the prince charming or happily ever after. I love them but I hate them as well. I know they love me, but when they beat me my hatred grows. I fear at one time, my love for them will vanish and I will only be left with hate in my life. My brother is my troublemaker. He creates my troubles and I hate him more than I love him. He is a pain in the butt. I am cruel to him, and always have resented him, I don’t know why.

            I get beat from my parents, which can explain all my bruises. Every little thing I do upsets them, which makes talk back to them for accusing me, then they get ticked off even more, which results with me getting beat.

            My brother’s snore wakes me from my flashbacks. I look over to see that it is 1:15 A.M. I never noticed anyone come upstairs; I didn’t even hear my brother slide into sleep with me. Damn! I feel hungry because I never ate and all the thinking…

*Author's Comment*

Hey Guys, i know it sounds depressing, but i want you guys to see and understand the characters feeling and whatnots to understand her better.  Plus, it actually may start to get better . :) AND non depressing :P

VOTE & COMMENT !!

well, comment so i know things i can improve on and etc ....

:P