Chëpter Niinen (Chapter Nine)
Epreel Thrissen – Jooly Feefe (April 3 – July 5)
MARTY STU rode back to Headcasetad on the back of Elzbeth's motorcycle, and he didn't feel at all effeminate, because he was so masculine.
As she pulled up to his cabin, she called out, "Why don't you get a car, anyway, Karl Freaking Fracking Bonkvist? You make a decent living, you're forty years old. Heck, I've got a vehicle and I'm a twenty year old psychopath who lives off odd hacking jobs."
He climbed off and stretched his legs. "I don't know. It is weird, isn't it? Just one of my many eccentricities."
Seducia waited by the door as he approached. She smiled. "Hello, Marty Stu. I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind and want to sleep with you again."
He shrugged. "Okay. Oh, this is my psychotic partner, Elzbeth Salamander."
Elzbeth gave her the finger.
Another woman walked up and stopped short. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were busy, Marty Stu."
He smiled. "Oh, I'm not, Cheesika. Allow me to introduce you. This is Elzbeth Salamander, psychopath. And this is Seducia Avenger, my fairweather lover. Ladies, this is Cheesika Burger, my partner and married lover."
The three women stared at each other.
Seducia narrowed her eyes. "Cheesika, doesn't it bother you that I'm sleeping with him?"
Cheesika shrugged. "Not at all. I have an open relationship with my husband. He understands that Marty Stu is too much man to stay away from."
"Okay, that's creepy. I'm outta here. Goodbye, Marty Stu."
He waved. "Later. Okay, one down. What brings you here, Cheesika?"
Cheesika shrugged. "Just wanted to see you again. And remind you I still exist. There's really nothing interesting going on back in Stockholm."
"The magazine's doing well?"
"No, it's doing horribly. All the advertisers are pulling out. Our reputation is in tatters. And I think one of our staff is working with Weinerstorm to spy on us. But none of it is very interesting, at least not as interesting as a murder mystery. I'd love to stay and help you with the case."
He winced. "Oo, would really like to bring you on, but I don't really need any help. Elzbeth is a super-intelligent hacker with limitless resources."
Cheesika frowned at Elzbeth. "Oh. Okay. Well, I guess I'll head back to Stockholm. Nice meeting you."
Elzbeth shook her head. "No, it wasn't."
As Cheesika left, Marty Stu went into the cabin and looked around. "Hmm, I'm detecting subtle changes in my cabin that tell me that someone's been in here. That chair is one centimeter off. And that particle of dust used to be over there."
Elzbeth walked in behind him. "I thought I was the one with a photographic memory."
"I have whatever skills I need at the time. And those skills tell me someone was snooping around. Looks like everything is still here, though."
She pulled out her computer and began typing. "I'd better use my hacker skills to do a complete scan of the cabin. Whoever was here might still be hiding in wait to kill us."
"No, they aren't."
"Well, maybe they left some sort of poison or death trap."
He shrugged. "Nope. They just looked through our stuff and left."
YOU ARE READING
The Girl Who Played With the Dragon Tattoo's NestHumor
Marty Stu Bonkvist, a bed-hopping journalist who totally isn't an idealized version of the author, goes to investigate a forty-year old disappearance. Aided by his sociopathic hacker sidekick Elzbeth Salamander, he taps into a vein of sandwiches, Ap...